What conspiracy theories do the peasants in your setting ramble about?

>Everyone always says it's the elves pulling the strings, but they're damned wrong. It's the dwarves who own the mints and the banks, the dwarves!

That has everything to do with America's current crisis because the jews have been working on this since the end of WWII. We were just too dangerous to be allowed to survive, as a race.

Why would there be SJWs in a setting where people have to work or fight to survive and can't just get a degree in nymph literature studies and live off of patreon?

[guileful rakshasa laughter]

>There is a vampire in the household of virtually every lord in the eastern half of the kingdom. Its status and level of influence varies, some are simply fledglings who work the night shift in the scullery while others are, in folklore, so powerful that they rule entire provinces in all but name. Coincidentally, the second prince just married an Eastern woman and the oldest prince has suddenly developed a rather nasty wasting disease...

>The Witch-Queen hasn't been seen for centuries, and only her centaur guards bear her orders now across the forbidden plains to the mountain fortresses that border her realm. Some have begun to suspect that these orders are no longer genuine, but assaulting her messengers would be a quick way to an agonizing death if they're legitimate. So instead, the people invent elaborate tales of murder and treachery, pinning every missing child, man, or woman on the reputedly rapacious appetites of the horsemen.

>All the picutres of the King look the same, after hundreds of years of rule
>King looks exacty like his Father, Grandfather, Great Grandfather and Great Great Grandfather and beyond!
>Subversive mutterings from the peasants saying the King is immortal, undead, an Outsider or worse
>Is just really inbred and will be lucky to make thirty.

Something about monstergirls being actually better wives than human women

Well thats just a given.
Monstergirls go into estrus for 7 days out of the month and crave the D.
Human women bleed and go violently hostile for 7 days out of the month and hate the D and for the other 23 days they're emotionally unstable and prone to outbursts.
One is desirable the other is terrible.

One is fictional, the other is not

And yet you have roughly the same chance of banging a snake girl as getting with Anne Hathaway.

I'd say there's a slight higher probability of getting with any living real woman than with a fictional species but yeah I'm not getting with anyone so I shouldn't care.

The royal family is secretly Yuan-Ti.
Gnomes control international finance.
Megalia's Emperor Elect hides contact with extraplanar creatures while his mages study crashed spelljammers's technology in the secluded fortress near Dulcis.
Changelings are EVERYWHERE.
The United Socialist Dwarven Fortresses have spies everywhere in Megalia (this is later confirmed with documents and all but the Judge that originally brought charged is still demonized).
Abbadon worship isn't a violent religion, it's just a minority of Tiefling's fault.
Guards disproportionatelly target orcs rather than other races.

They might be better un bed, good for a one night stand or a summer fling, but better at building a life and growing together?
I just don't see it, I can't imagine a monstergirl doing the whole happy housewife&mom routine.

Dragonfire can't melt dwarven stonework. The collapse of the dual wizard spires after that rogue dragon attack was a conspiracy by the goblin undergovernment.

That's racist and sad.

What can I say?
Human girls are best girls

Unlikely. Last time i was in a human settlement chatting with my bro he tells me these fucking stories of blood, piss, shit, and tampons on the fucking ceiling of the female outhouse. They're so uncivilized they actually get offended when you ask them why their sisters do this. Like, if you fucking asked me why my fellow brothers occasionally leave the seat up or dribble on the rim i'd calmly and rationally explain we don't need the seat down 24/7 or that some have issues with aiming and we'd all have a nice laugh at how weird life can be. But no, lets get angry instead! How dare they accuse US of this indecency despite the MOUNTAIN of evidence and the fact they legally had to hire a hazmat team.
Monstergirls don't suffer from the dreaded bloodmoon and thus cannot bring such shame upon us.

But that's just the thing.
We understand human women, we understand bloodmoon and how to circunvent it(rear-mounting), with monstergirls it's pure speculation.
They could very well have their own version of bloodmoon only that instead of once a month it could be once every seven years, and instead of just some smelly blood it could be something far worse like devouring their husband in his sleep, or terrorizing a nearby town, or making a series of terrible investments with their life-savings.

We just don't know

>user's afraid of adventure and the unknown
At least you can die knowing you were born for the current age, i guess.

Adventures are for the youth, I'm a 27yo fossil and I need some stability for what little is left of my life

>abloo abloo i'm 20 something and i'm so oooold ;___;
you're literally not even an actual biological adult yet
fuck off you whiny fuckin millennial faggot shit

>millennial
Hey Silverblade, you never responded to me when you were talking about starting a Kickstarter to buy 40k.

>forgetting we were doing a bit where we're both peasants comparing the pros and cons of human women
>forgetting that during medieval times the life expentancy was much shorter, a broken finger could kill you

that doesn't really change the fact that humans aren't finished developing, physically or mentally, until around 30
not to mention there were still plenty of people who lived to their 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s during the middle ages

Rich people with proper nutrition and shelter, in a fantansy setting that would also include successful adventurers.
Doesn't change anything for the peasants, they work hard and die young.

>peasants
>working hard

>peasants
>working
If they work so much how come they can't grow enough food to stave off starvation?

>forgetting that during medieval times the life expentancy was much shorter, a broken finger could kill you
but that's not accurate, friend
the life EXPECTANCY was shorter because there were a lot more infant deaths, not because everybody died at 25. Once you made it to young adulthood, you were a lot less likely to die of trivial bullshit. Quit spreading this misinformation.

>The elven king has a harem of forest creatures, passed down through the position. Their forests are so bountiful and their people so in tune with nature because their ruler and officials entered into a fae pact with a nature spirit wherein they debase themselves for the fae's amusement. And they've all but convinced our own elected officials to enter into this pact as well.
>The mage's council is the real ruling power behind our country, they've been in control of the other branches of office for generations. Notice how many more mages there are? They've been using their control to taint our water and food sources to turn the country into a magocratic colony-state under the rule of the city of towers by sheer concentration of magic users.
>Child, infant, or sick relative die? Blame kobolds. Kobolds have souls, but they're unnatural, formed of raw elemental energy and the seed of lesser dragons. They get their souls by stealing them from the young and the weak, like the parasites they are.

>My cousin said that those necropolises created and managed by the Cult of Carnifex outnumber the villages of the whole Imperium.
>That must from where those shadow killers come from.

>The emperor's wife is actually his daughter, that sick fuck.

>The Charcoal Mountain has bat monsters inside.
>That's nothing, the Infinite Moutain is the result of the Heavens' attempt to fuck the Earth-Mother.
>Speaking of her, those jungle druids tried to destroy another trading fleet.

>D'amaranth ruins are so resistent because the ancients mixed vampire ash in the concrete.

>The sea goddess was born when that magical reef was attacked during the demon invasion.
>The sage god's observatory is actually the eye of a giant thing buried somewhere.

>Setting where every continent is isolated from one another due to a deal made with the Gods
>Population begins to spread a rumor about a grand Empire forming on a neighboring continent
>They actually exist and have been seeding the story to get the population more likely to join them when they invade

Game's a piece of shit, but In Dragon Age Inquisition you can overhear one dude constantly talking about how everything the main villain is doing is actually the work of elves.

Well he's not wrong.

KNIFE EARS R QUEERS
ELF FAGS IN BODY BAGS
No but for real, he's 100% correct that it's the elves behind it all.

Of course it is. Lore even states it is. Fucking solas wants shit to go back to demons roaming the land and raping the weak just so he can play wolf again and even readily admits to the elves fucking the world up by purposefully thinning the veil, commiting blood magic, and generally being copies of anders just to play pseudo gods. Then they just whine and whine and whine cause now they're playong on equal terms and they suck at it. Then bigbad hears this shit and says "well the elves did it so why can't i?!" And now the fucks are trusting another demon type shit to make them powerful again and you know the first shit they'll do is burn down shit that made them unhappy like fucking children.

...

The best bit is; these sound like great quest hooks.

Why would demons rape people? Spirits only do that to become real, because Solas deprived them of reality.

The Veil didn't exist before Solas made it to lock away his fellow Evenuris, probably because they invented the Blight to kill Titans.

Thanks user, that's the idea.

Cause demons fucking exist by trying to emulate the most complex beings around, us, by focusing on single aspects of us and becoming them. Invariably you get shit like war, famine, plague, death, horror, violence, sadness, pride, sloth, anger, and lust demons roaming around and even solas says himself shit like spirits of justice and love all to easily corrupt into vengeance and lust just by simply coming into contact with us. He literally is a demon himself and is a wolf in sheeps clothing as such and aims to betray you though depending on choices he may feel somewhat shitty about this but then again betrayal is literally his fucking name.

>spirits of justice and love all to easily corrupt into vengeance and lust just by simply coming into contact with us

This spirit of justice has obviously not been learning from Ulric the Just!

What am I looking at here?

zing

England Upturn'd has some good ones
>The only reason Laud wrote the new prayer book was to annoy the Puritans and keep them out of church so he could make oodles of cash suing them for recusancy, so as to finance the King’s army to purge them from England and load them on boats to the American colonies which don’t exist anyway as the colonists are all chucked overboard in mid-Atlantic.
>Lincolnshire is still divided into ‘wapentakes’, the old division used by the Norse kings when summoning their Viking raiders. This gives the King of Denmark the only legal right to summon troops here, Parliament and King alike have no legal authority!
>The Jesuits are wizards, they know a spell to make themselves so tiny they can fly about on their Hosts like snowflakes in a blizzard.
>The MPs John Pym, John Hampden, Denzil Holles, Arthur Haselrig, William Strode, Viscount Mandeville, and the Speaker of the House, William Lenthall are all witches! But a coven is thirteen, who are the other six? The Earl of Essex? Lord Fairfax? And which is the covenmaster?

Average life expectancy was brought down by the metric fucktonne of young children dying. Odds were that if you made it past two you'd be able to live until about sixty.

Again, they only became that way after the Veil was created. Before they were deprived of existence, they just behaved like spirits in most other fantasy settings. With no need to try and mind rape human beings/personify things. They didn't need to do that before the Veil was created, and they will invariably not need to do that after it is destroyed. Which isn't a question of if, it's of when. Solas is a self-centered and age old prick who's out of touch with what it's like to be a person, but he was never a demon.

>the circle of gods the current world has been entrusted to are actually just using it for their own entertainment, creating monsters and shit
>the world is actualy a plate with borders into nothingness , rather than an infinite planar shape and the government conceals this fact because they know that overpopulation would lead to a humanity-destroying war
>on the other side of the world , there are demons dwelling in complete darkness and just waiting to eat your babies , while the aristrocraty makes up contracts with them to save their own hides
>"real life" is just your soul being hypnotized by spiritual beings into dreaming in order to test stuff on your psyche or use you to collect mana from your surroundings without using it up
>the archieves of miranda do not only contain 3 mirror shards (behelit-like artifacts) but enough of them to turn the whole human population into little gods
>governments all around the world torture humans and mash their body and souls up in arcane ovens to synthezise new kinds of demons as a secret military unit , or to create new (not truly significant) threats to keep farmers distracted from real politics and stuff
>we are all part of an intergalactic reality TV show

Wizards, elves and orcs are the source of every problem in the setting.
They're right about the first one, the orcs and elves just kickstarted it by introducing Vancian magic and pissing off the goddess of magic.

>THERE'S RAT'S SO BIG THAT THEY STARTED WALKING AND TALKING LIKE MEN! AND THEY HAVE THEIR OWN RAT KINGDOMS IN THE SEWERS! THEY WANT TO CRASH THE MOON SO THEY CAN EAT IT!

>'The Fall was an inside job!'

And it literally was, because the crown prince had become a cultist to the god of mortality and disfigurement.

>>The emperor's wife is actually his daughter
Nothing wrong with that tho

Incest is not okay in the empire.

Emperors have been fired for less.

I like rainbows and I'm legitimately mad that faggots hijacked them.

What a sorry excuse for an empire. REAL emperors are so inbred they can't open and close their mouths.

So they're the ones responsible for the increasing cat population?

>The crisis endangering the world is actually aliens from a crack between the universe we are currently in and the one we came from caused by people using magic.
>We just tell everyone who asks that we are trying to stop an evil sorcerer so we don't look crazy conspiracy theorists.

>REAL emperors are so inbred they can't open and close their mouths.

>Emperors
>Fired
Don't you mean usurped, and executed?

>Metal Charles Solid V: The Phantom Spain

I bet his coat of arms wasn't even that cool

lel. I should read that book. Actual Civil War-era England had the all-time best conspiracy theories in history. They were especially good in the interregnum period when the press was made free and everyone with some cash could publish their thoughts.

The fun part is that the conspiracy theories ended up being kind of self-fulfilling and led to a bunch of people dying.
>The King is raising an Irish Catholic army to invade England and continue the Irish massacres, forcing us under the papal yoke!
>Well, what should we do?
>Let's invade Ireland first!

There are still bards, potters, and others though. I'm sure they gather in secret forums.

I know, right?

>Incest is not okay in the empire.