OotS 1044: Mountain Passes

Please shut the fuck up. Please try living an actual life first before you judge others for their schadenfreude and bitterness. I am so sick of these happy couples in RPG stories when real life is nothing like that. One of my friends had an in-game GF for his fighter character and I convinced him, through NPCs, to bring her along on an adventure. Then had a the evil wizard cast confusion on him then fudged the roll to "attack nearest creature" so he turned and chopped his beloved's head off. Then came out of the spell and realized what he had done. That character ended up committing suicide a few sessions after that.

That is the kind of ending I would like to see in Order of the Stick.

I think you pretty much proved his point.

Yeah, I hate real life, man. All those fucking wizards making guys kill their girlfriends.

>I am so sick of these happy couples in RPG stories when real life is nothing like that

It is, or at least can be, for a little while.

And by little while I mean years. Some people make it last longer than others.

Sweet jesus, have you NEVER seen a successful relationship? How fucked up is your family?

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I think you've blurred the lines between real life and rpg's a little bit there friendo.

There's already a webcomic where stuff like that happens. It's called Goblins. Read that for your dose of SAD.

It must suck for Rich, knowing he has to explain every little detail of what's happening otherwise his community will devolve into massive, autistic arguments about filling in every single blank.

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The Genre's called Fantasy for a reason.

"Elan, put the coins up my ass and call me Shojo!"

I missed like 10 of these threads, please post recent thogs.

ANyone have that Uncivil Servant Shit? If itt's in a previous thread, please link it

>author posts a single bit of background exposition
>"Poor, poor author, being forced to write worldbuilding into his comic. It must be the fault of those evil, evil, EVIL fans and their DISCUSSION! How miserable he must be! We should pity him and hate all fans outside of our clique."
I'd rather not.

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GitP users are the people who had a big argument about whether or not Haley's half-celestial because her dad used a euphemism to tell her her mother was dead.

>1st for anything

Die.

Don't encourage him.

People mocking that criticism is getting staler than the criticism itself.
Especially since it's a legitimate fucking gripe with his writing.
Why say in three words what you can say in five panels of standing around?

Serious edit.

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Still too many words, user.

Not serious edit

Good.

Fandoms ruin everything. I can't think of a single franchise, movie, or game that didn't immediately get worse after I got into contact with its so called fans.

>Fandoms ruin everything.
The worst part of any fandom is the people who say that. Out of all the things about fandoms that I've been ordered to hate, whether they be fanart, fanfiction, crossovers, theories, speculation, or criticism, none have been less bearable than the endless repetition of generic anti-fan rage.

Well, technically the worst part of any fandom is the baby-eating serial killers, but that just further emphasizes the pointlessness of anti-fan rage.

Those non-serious edits are better than shitty sex jokes in thog edits.

>It's not like real life at all!
>Let me use my role playing fantasy in which I fudged the rules in order to get an outcome that I wanted to show you how real life really is!

All of you need to shut the fuck up. Seriously, you are goddamn cancer. And no I have not had a serious relationship in my entire life that ended well. It all ends badly. Either in death, or in mutual hatred, to the point where you want to watch them slowly run over by a fucking steamroller. Just because you fuckers are having happiness right now doesn't mean it won't be taken away from you. i am so sick of these "happy endings" that dont' show how it REALLY ends. I am also fucking sick of everyone being resurrected. So what the fuck is the point of them killing Xykon? Or even fighting him? THERE IS NOT ANY GODDAMN TENSION BECAUSE IF ONE OF THEM DIES THEY CAN JUST RESURRECT THEM RIGHT AWAY

I'd have gone with Piggy instead to be quite honest.

Sometimes I feel like these threads are even more autistic than the GitP forums.

lol.

Why didn't they just pay the local cleric to resurrect the fighter dude?

Damn dude, did your girl just drop you or something?

Oh God, you're that GM that thinks it's original and thought-provoking to kill off NPCs that the PCs get attached to, or make the evil villain ultimately win despite the PCs efforts to to thwart them, because you think it teaches them lessons on how life really is.

You are a faggot

Personally, my money's on him being literally a cuck. Like, his GF was having sex with his best friend or something.

No? Why would you think that? Projecitng again?

No but I would like to drop several of my ex-girlfriends from a high height. I often watch gifs of fatal falls and imagine them in their place.

>Oh God, you're that GM that thinks it's original and thought-provoking to kill off NPCs that the PCs get attached to, or make the evil villain ultimately win despite the PCs efforts to to thwart them, because you think it teaches them lessons on how life really is.

Which GM is that? I mean I agree with you but I don't think I've posted about this before.

And yeah, the villain sometimes wins. That's how life works. Can't deal with it? Get out of my campaign and go play some masturbatory shit like D&D to feel better about yourself.

I bet you watch the goddamn teletubbies, too, don't you? Or boring-ass trash TV where everything gets wrapped up in a neat 30 minute package? You're the kind of person who can't deal with real life, and your weakness disgusts me.

1/10

The sheer bile contained will elicit responses despite the obvious lack of any cleverness, originality, or value in the trolling. Can do much better, see me after class.

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Oh man virt I didn't know you read web comics too!

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Oh shit, you're right, it does read like virt. Wasn't he permabanned?

Do you know the common element in all of your relationships?

It's you.

You are the one thing all of these relationships have had in common. You.

Maybe you need to think about that before you pre judge every relationship.

Sincerely: olderfag.

Oh shit, you're right, it's the old optimeister! Did you ever see his youtube channel? he posted a bunch of text-to-speech "rap" videos about how he would be back. The cringe, it was exceptional.

If nothing the player does matters in the end, then why would anyone really bother?

I mean, the BBEG's gonna win no matter what they do so they might as well just say "fuck it," raid a dungeon, and spend the money on hookers and blow while dodging the inevitable disaster that strikes whichever town they decide to crash in for a week.

No, but that sounds hilariously terrible. Pls share links.

shit i was hoping and praying that autistic fucker was too dumb to change his IP address.

He was banned, and promised never to return. Not like going back on his word is outside of the little cretin's wheelhouse.

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Improve your replies!

Jesus, was that what he got banned for? Almost forgot how awful he was.

>I "hate" this thing so lets invoke it

Here's the attention you wanted, user. I hope this dulls the pain for a few seconds.

It was the edgy straw that broke the camel's irate back. He had earned many, many complaints, enough to make him Jim Profit-tier.

>Either in death
Literally the goal of the perfect relationship is for it to end in death.

Please tell me the quote inside the quote is also a virt post?

Depends on whether Thog was already active for Hijo's Junk.

There's no tripcode and the name looks like it says anonymous. It could be virt posting as an user of you believe hard enough.

I think he only posts anonymous now. He always used to be proud to be himself.

virt, the master of degenerates.

So any ideas when Order of the Stick *will* wrap up? Something tells me around 1700 or 1800. Burlew says he already knows the last panel which makes me feel weird. Any speculation?

Cannot believe I am doing this....

youtube.com/watch?v=JFqd8NBKqTc

youtube.com/watch?v=dba6oR8-JtM

I mean in premature death, faggot.

You want me to kill myself just because I play games differently than you? Wow. You might need some serious mental help.

It does matter, but they still die.

Nah this is my friends as well. It all goes bad.

>It does matter, but they still die.

"Oh hey, you did everything right and made relatively smart decisions but I'm still going to kill you because fuck you, life ain't fair bitch!"

It's like one of those shitty unwinnable RPG fights that everyone hates, except it's an entire campaign.

Imagine being that asshole GM no one likes, the ones wanting to run a shitty game where they're dead set on making the players' lives as miserable as possible and making sure the BBEG wins via GM fiat.

Like, people joke about how it's the GM's job to make the player's lives miserable, but holy shit negro you actually enforce that garbage.

I'm all for PCs having to earn their happy endings and going through bleak times if its not shoehorned bleakness, but the difference is that they EARN their endings, not have it be arbitrarily snatched away from them because of a GM whose modus operandi is "I'm a pessimistic dicksponge who hates life, so I'm gonna make you hate life too".

>Final challenge is a puzzle based around arranging wooden rods in the gate
>Xykon and Redcloak fuck it up and are devoured by the snarl
>OotS finish the puzzle, seal the gate
>Close up to Roy
>'Wow I guess all this really came down to the order of the sticks'

Trust me Burlew is my uncle

Leaving in
> how come we don't
> all the
> already
> most

etc.

Give up and kill yourself, you are no Thog.

10/10

Jesus that's fucking awful. Thanks for linking it.

>Fighting Kai Leng: the Game

You're right. I don't fucking want that.

Why did you have to remind me of that shit?
I'm still mad at that game. It's been years and I'm still fucking mad.

Sweet Jesus, you're pretty much the worst guy to run a game with. We've already had two GMs like you at our table; they didn't last a week because the other players are usually clever enough to circumvent your particular brand of high-edge BS

Example:
>A party of 7-10th level characters in a home game we've been playing for ~6 months, we keep it going by having new GMs run weekly adventures to shake things up
>Chase scene where we're escaping a labyrinth, while the ceiling collapses
>Player 1 has the Amulet of Ishzarah (Neck slot wondrous item: allows user and anyone touching him to teleport to a predetermined location) and uses it to get the whole party+his love interest NPC (Who was kidnapped in the first place) out of the dungeon.
>GM explains that the NPC was actually supposed to die in the collapsing tunnels, gets pissy when we tell him that you can't just retroactively kill someone we just saved.
>Flash forward to next week, GM explains that we're all going to be attending the NPCs funeral; we're all confused and ask why, so he explains that while we slept, One of the Osirian assassins snuck into the tavern room she slept in and slit her throat.
>We collectively say 'fuck that shit' and use one of the two Wishing Ring slots we got a month or two back to wish her back to life, then get in a pretty heated argument with the GM
>He proceeds to go on a tirade about how life isn't fair and that we can't all have a happy ending; says he'll just kill her off again (basically just being a douche), then gets pissy when we say we have another wish left
>Leaves about a half hour later
>Showed up only once more, like 6 months later

It's the classic "I'm bitter at life and can't stand to see others Happy, even Fake Happy in a Fictional Story"

People like that are just generally not welcome in our PF group anymore because their grimdark edge contrasts too hard with the rest of the world we've worked so hard to establish.

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Please let it happen.

>People like that are just generally not welcome in our PF group

Who said anything about your group, dumbass? I'm talkign about my group. Your roleplaying doesn't even count because your saccharine fairy tale does not even register as a real story, let alone a mature one that actual adults would enjoy.

So? That's his fault for giving you fucking Wish rings in the first place. What an idiot.

Nah they die because that's how life goes, everyone dies in the end faggot You have to be very smart to survive in one of my campaigns.

>saccharine fairy tale

>PC forced to kill his only son because Lycanthropy
>Starting town ashes within a month because we fucked up diplomacy with a neighboring militaristic homestead, and the fact that we're directly responsible for the deaths of hundreds over something that we shouldn't have even really been involved with in the first place
>My character is directly responsible for making at least two NPCs into orphans and then learns that our effects on the economic bubble effectively forced them into eternal poverty
>Which reminds me that this campaign was the first one to ever cover shit like the economy and how easily an active PC party can ruin it, it took us months before we realized we were basically the sole cause of a financial collapse in Absalom because that goddamned hoard gold doesn't just disappear when you spend it
>Level 8 party has to deal with the fact that we're not even close to powerful enough to deal with some of the problems that are just roaming the countryside, and are effectively helpless to save civilians on more than a few occasions
>Adventure is written immediately after Aroden's death in-universe, so we had to deal with the sudden loss of faith in the gods and that effect on gameplay and with religion in general
>Oh and we started with 10 people, with 3 as dedicated GMS, only three left the group for reasons other than character death, we only had two PCs left in the final, lv 18 adventure. They're dead

But I guess that's all fairytale shit right there. Nothing like watching another player cry because the GM just tore apart his entire worldview and destroyed his optimism while explaining that his son is dead and it's basically all his fault. Nah, totally immature

You're just a salty shit who can't let others have good things.

>a mature one that actual adults would enjoy.
Are you a preteen? You sound like a preteen.

I feel sorry for edgefags who equate reality with misery.

I mean christ, are you telling us that you've never had a good day or one positive memory in your entire life?

lolwut

I was talking about the other guy and the edgefag in your story, not you specifically.

Oh ok, I was gonna cry

obligatory thog edit

You tell em man. We only play mature games for mature gamers like ourselves

What is this from?

Oh his hand is better now and he's back to making the comics again?

Where have you been man? It got better ages ago. He's actually been keeping a somewhat regular schedule now.

See, but that's an actually good story. Not really what you were implying when you kicked a guy out of the group just for having a female NPC die.

You're just asshurt another GM dared to kill off a character instead of you, you control freak faggot.

Yeah I'm an M-rated person, man, I on;y play mature games.

>Oh his hand is better now and he's back to making the comics again?

Sadly, yes. Let's hope for lung cancer this time around.

The Spirit, I believe