Post female barbarians

This is completely retarded. Women cannot be barbarians.

1) they lack the upper body strength to put in a firm blow. ever been hit by a girl? you should know they can't hit for shit

2) even among those who bodybuild, they cannot build as much muscle mass as men

3) women whine and complain about a hike longer than 3 miles, you really think they'd make it out in the wilderness? lol

4) A woman will not be strong enough to heft a greataxe around

5) Women do not have the reflexes required to be good warriors

6) They are vulnerable to rape

7) Even an expertly trained, strong woman barbarian will be worth at best two or three regular human warriors. If D&D had more realistic rules, women would have a -4 Strength and a +4 Charisma (just look at how easy it is for women to get whatever they want just by using their vaginas) and would not be able to progress past 10 hp.

And just because magic exists, that is not an excuse to throw out realism. So sick of seeing that lame counter tossed out in every thread. It just goes to show how cancerous D&D is.

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Actually she has some muscles - athlete level, not bodybuilder level, but still.

I'd rather question the heel boots, the quiver without a bow and that bracelet around her arm that would be quite tight if her biceps were ever to flex.

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Don't worry user, they take fantasy steroids. The same steroids that create those fuck-hueg men can be used to create big women.

Good job, you now understand the definition of "fantasy". Escapism exists to escape how shit the real world is, escapism revolving around women exists to escape how shit real women are.

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thanks mr. skeleton

I really wonder what spawned this oversized weapons meme seriously all of these axes seem to weight about as much as plate

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'humans' in fantasy settings is just a homonym.

artstation.com/artwork/GENJW

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One would think there'd be good fembarb cheesecake, but for some reason it's just fucking nothing of quality.

What a silly person you must be.

Hey, you wanna get in your time machine and take out Yoshitaka Amano before he makes Cloud and his travesty of a weapon, be my guest. Dunno if it'd actually get rid of Big Weapons or not, but it's worth a shot.

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If I could draw even slightly better than a 5 year old on a sugar rush, I'd draw some nice barbarian cheesecake.

Berserk predates FF7 by seven years.

What are you even talking about? You mean a magazine model dressed like a barbarian while she splays herself on a boulder?

Or something good?

Ohh, I know this is bait and I shouldn't...but it's so irresistable!

Firstly, males are just as vulnerable to rape. Don't believe it? Just drop the soap. C'mon bitch, I'll bet you'll feel juuuust fine when Bubba's using you as a condom just like he and the other jocks did all through high school while their cheerleader girlfriends pointed and laughed.

Secondly, hefting a weapon doesn't have much to do with strength. It has much more to do with leverage. Lrn2HEMA. Using a bow takes more raw strength than using a melee weapon does.

Thirdly, I'd like to see you hump a ruck ten miles. I've known more than enough women who can carry a not-insignificant portion of their body weight a pretty good way. To a certain point, that's about training and will. For the points past that, there's pack mules.

Cloud's weapon makes perfect sense in context.

What is it with neckbeards and wanting to feel superior to women?

I want to be a little cleric boy and travel with a group of 25+ year old barbarian ladies and take care of them outside of battle.
Cuddling in a tent with one must be amazing, you'd be like a small teddy bear for them.

Dude, I think you got all of them.
Bravo for compiling the dank mega-meme.

They can't fuck them, so they lie to themselves to feel better. It's sad. Hopefully they're 13 and will grow out of it, and not a 20+ neckburd.

Shhh....
user is hating on someone, leave him to his misguided fury.

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Source?

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It's like one of my Japanese /ss/ doujins!

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But I don't want to have sex with one, I just want her to pick me up and cuddle me.

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Aren't most neckbeards +30? That's always the impression I've had.

That might actually be weirder that straight up wanting to fuck them.

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This seemed to qualify when I looked at it.

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>6

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[Desire to convert to Christianity one dicking at a time intensifies]

Barbarians can't be of a lawful alignment, user.

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I'd go full Momotarou on that ass.

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You may want to crop the bottom of that one, m8

I know what you mean.

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lawfull stupid can work user.

And depends on the edition ofc

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How tall is the perfect barbarian waifu?

this is /pol/ bait

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7ft+

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>1)
That's true for the average clanswoman. However any shield maiden worth her salt has probably spent her entire life fighting and training to help defend her village from rival clans. After a lifetime carrying swords and shields, they're bound to have muscle in their arms.

2)
True. They have to be clever in their battle strategem instead of wildly smashing everything with a warhammer.

3)
And you wouldn't? Somehow doubt that. These days, when people think of "hikes" they envision that one trail leading up a local hill that only really takes a hour at max. Real backpacking/outdoors men trails are either unheard of, or intimidating to the uninitiated as they literally have to camp out in the middle of the woods for a week on end. Most people, both male and female, wouldn't even make a two-hour hike without bitching.

4) A woman will not be strong enough to heft a greataxe around
Most guys wouldn't be able to do so either. Can't lift that big Final Fantasy sword? That's why you carry a normal sized axe, a sword and shield, or even a bow.

>5)
Reflexes from what? Regular military training? A lifetime of war and tribal savagery in the far north? Anyone who lived in these conditions likely has better "warrior" reflexes than anyone in the modern era, including you.

>6)
So are men.

>7)
+4 charisma, from... Fucking people? Good God man. Well judging by you, it should be +4 intelligence for women, and -4 for men.

>And just because magic exists, that is not an excuse to throw out realism. So sick of seeing that lame counter tossed out in every thread. It just goes to show how cancerous D&D is.

Oh god, a realism snob. Man I like realism as well, that's why I play WHFRP or occasionally GURPS. But I really don't go into D&D expecting to RP a accurate portrayal of the Battle of Agincourt. You're looking at the wrong material, bub.

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taller than me

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> shield maiden

Viking shield maidens are meme history.

I'll bite, I'd say just tall enough so that her breasts would rest right on top of your head if she stood up straight right next to you. So, the bridge of your nose would sit in the nook where her ribcage begins to part if you were facing inward, probably.

That way when she hoists you up by the butt for some stand-and-carry action your head and neck would be smothered between her breasts and she could nod down to make out with you.

Guys, "-4 Str" means "post musclegirls," "musclegirls" doesn't mean "post -4 Str." You've got your memes backwards.