Mecha Space Pirate Quest XLI

Welcome back, to the 41st installment of Mecha Space Pirate Quest. Y-yes I know the pastebins weren't updated, I had a lot of things to stat and figure out. As always, you are Admiral Roarke Starwind of the Iron Kestrels, and you are about to reach Mars.

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You've seen very, very old pictures of Mars, back when it was cold and red and thoroughly dead. You've also seen a few pre-war pictures too, when it was a paradise of greenery, steppelands and lush forests and shallow seas full of strange customized plant and animal forms. Mars has, over the course of its lifetime, gone from being the Red Planet to the Green Planet and had both its moons crashed into it and replaced with artificial satellites. Now, you're not really sure what to call it. Parts of it are still green, but swathes of the sphere are a dusty orange-red, as though some titanic hand clawed away the greenery in places to reveal the harsh desert beneath. Karen is staring at it in awe, leaning against you and ignoring the jealous looks she's getting from Red Siren.

"A real world." She murmurs, the colors reflected in the lenses of her spectacles. Plenty of pirates were born on a planet, or on one of the colonies orbiting one (or in your case, a colony orbiting one of the moons of a planet), but few ever come back once they start racking up a bounty. These centers of civilization are dangerous.

"Where are all the warships?" The pilot says, hunched over her instruments as if expecting a dozen Martian cruisers to gate out around the little transport any second now.

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Alright time to start Operation: Protect that Smile

Posting our mixtapes for good luck drive.google.com/file/d/0B6iimHE85EZZZjRoaWVwQ3U2ZFk/view?usp=sharing

i swear if find Doomguy here.

Space Kirito is going to attack during our rescue isn't he?

*we

Probably not

Narrative demands that Space Kirito attacks at the most dramatic moment, acting as our accidental cavalry and drawing the Martians away while we make a quick getaway in the Kaiser

You see? This is how you pirate.
You sell bitches for fat stacks of cash and when you get the money you swoop in, take them back, and steal as much shit as you can on your way out.

I do slightly worry about a counter attack though.

Mohammed glances at the projected image of the planet and shrugs, "Phobos and Deimos are on the other side of the planet. The Holy Militia's ships will be there, rank upon rank of them lying in wait like dogs in a kennel, prepared to launch at a moment's notice. In a space battle, hiding your true strength can be a key advantage. We're in luck, the Avalon incursion has made them bunch up their forces."

There's a sudden beep, and another of the crew looks up. "U-uhm Admiral Starwind, sir, we're being hailed."

"That will be one of the orbital defense satellites." Mohammed comments.

You can see it as it swings into view against the backdrop of the planet, an ugly little blob of metal bristling with guns. CIWS turrets and larger anti-ship guns make it resemble a sea urchin with four glittering wings to gather the sun's light for power.

"Remember to keep them talking, Admiral. Your concubine Samantha needs a few more minutes to set up the sensor spoof package on the satellite. If the distraction doesn't work when it's time to leave, we could be stuck on Mars permanently." Mohammed notes.

You grunt, but acknowledge him with a smile, "It was a good plan, rigging one of the satellites to get a false reading of a giant warp gate fluctuation when they're expecting a massive enemy warship any second now."

He smiles grimly, "Thank me if it works, Admiral. It should get them out of position and give us time to get away...but as my father liked to say, 'shoulds are not woulds'. Then he would usually hit me with his cane."

[Continued]

I give 60/40 odds in favor of him not. It'd certainly allow us to see how his ship and machines stand up to Fairchild's top of the line models and ship. As is, our first priority is helping Fatima get out of there and that may involve convincing her that this is the best course of action for her.

You nod to the Kestrel on the comms. He presses a button, and you hear a bored, Martian-accented voice.

"Unidentified ship, please halt and allow us to scan you for verification."

"Right away, sir." You force yourself to sound servile, and gesture to the helmswoman. She slows the ship down, passing by the satellite well within range of its guns. For any pirate, it's a nerve-wracking moment.

"Let me see...Yum-5, registered to Scrumptious Incorporated. Is this Captain Yarrow speaking?"

"First Mate Renquist, actually. Captain's a little under the weather." Samantha made you read the ship's files, Yarrow is the Captain's last name. In a twist of irony, her first name is Susan, but she was rather pretty in the picture you saw of her and you're not sure your voice could be mistaken for hers.

"Aw. I hope she feels better soon. What's your cargo today, Yum-5?" You can hear the creak of someone settling into their chair on the other end of the comms.

>[What say?]

shit what do we say? I've never been good at this shit. Usually I'm smuggling things out not in

>Some last minute shipments for the wedding of Her Lady Fatima and the honorable general [name here]

Last I recall, this ship was a food carrying vessel so a list of food and the like in FINE detail should help. Start with things like fruit, veggies, listing their weight and ammount, and if he asks why, say it's best to keep things professional and serious as to not besmirch the captain's name.

I wonder who Yarrow is? Pic Wong?

Ok, probably not the best idea to directly mention the pair in case they try to contact them. We want to be professional, but vaguish with the delivery unless needed. We do not want to give them a source where they can ask questions because that WILL draw attention to us.

We can say that were carrying a surprise shipment from one of the guests who would prefer to remain anonymous until the food is presented

That's pretty sketchy.

Ya when I read over it I kind of noticed that

...that will DEFINETLY draw attention to us then. Do not mention the wedding at all in this case. If need be mention a delivery of food in the area, but not the wedding itself. If they ask, be cool and sly, maybe saying that 'confidentiality is an important part of business.'

That's probably the best idea, lets just say this

"You want the full cargo manifest or just the key points?" You sigh and pause for a moment as if bringing it up on your PC, "Let's see, we have food deliveries for every local souk and settlement from Phobos City to New Medina. 100 tons of dates..."

"Ooh, can I have one? Just kidding, sweetness, although you DO sound like a cutie patootie!" You hear the sound of snacks being munched over the comms.

"T-thanks, sir. Um, 50 tons of bananas, mangos, cashews..." You continue, a bit off-balance.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I already put 'assorted greenstuffs' into the log, like, the minute I saw you were with Scrumptious! You sailors are always so...stiff and proper, you know?"

"Just doing my job." You clear your throat.

"Anything for the biiiig celebrity wedding? Oh, I just LOVE weddings! So delish!"

"Maybe, I'd have to check...but I just handle the deliveries, I'm not important enough to get invited to these things."

"Oh sweetie, I'd invite you to MY wedding! I could just eat you up like a tender lamb haunchie." The Martian giggles, "I bet Yarrow picked you herself, she's got such a way with men...anyway, go on ahead. Take care on your way back, there's bad guys and pirates all over the news these days. Don't worry, I'm up here protecting you, like your own personal guardian angel~"

"T-thanks." You stammer again, uncomfortably. You gesture emphatically at the helmswoman, who stops snickering...although Karen and Miles don't stop at all...and puts the ship back into gear. It lurches forward towards the planet as you cut comms.

[Continued]

..Roarke Starwind's secret weakness; fabulously gay men hitting on him first.

Well now that the hard part is over the rest should be smooth sailing

..did you just invoke murphy's law in a quest that uses dice?

maybe

You glance over at Mohammed, who has an earpiece in and is in communication with the S-Betta. He nods and gives you a thumbs-up, and you sigh with relief. You were worried you might have to slow down before entering the atmosphere. The bay airlock opens briefly, and it closes moments later, with the stealth mech safely on board.

Crater lakes glisten a shimmering blue below you as the ship begins its descent. The helmswoman is nervous, but competent, and although atmospheric entry is a lot rougher than you'd envisioned you and the little ship make it down in one piece.

Mohammed guides you away from any settlements, touching down in a peaceful little canyon overflowing with white flowers and sharp grasses, scaring away a herd of wild donkeys in the process. Karen gasps in awe and clutches your arm, and Clemmy does the same from the other side.

"Are you sure you want to come along?" You ask her, quietly.

"Yeah, why? I said I'm done with the UJCIDF, they can't do much but treat me as a pilot now anyway. Besides, I finally get the chance to fight next to you!" The blonde woman grins and nuzzles against your shoulder, "I'm so excited my knees are shaking...I've always wanted to crash a wedding!" She laughs.

[Continued]

Clemmy how are you always so cute?

She got lots of hugs

[Spoiler]What about handholding?[/spoiler]

She was a bit puckered out from all the hugging so their wasnt much time for that. You know, back was a bit stiff, might have chipped a tooth, that sort of thing.

"Roarke, can I have one of those ponies?" Karen tugs on your arm, "Just one of the little ones?"

Clemmy huffs, "They're called burritos, dummy."

"Burritos are food, idiot! They're little horses, so they're clearly ponies." Karen points stubbornly at the fleeing animals.

"Horses have poofy tails like Rosie's hair, these little guys have ropey tails like YOUR hair, so these aren't horses, they're burritos!" Clemmy insists.

"You absolutely can't have one onboard." Richard states unequivocably, "It'll shit everywhere, make a ton of noise, and probably go insane and do both even more because it's not mentally capable of handling space."

"We had this talk when I wanted a goat, but farmboy said noooo." Miles grumbles.

"Goats are the most evil animals that have ever existed, with vigorous competition from geese." Richard growls.

"Camels are worse than anything." Mohammed insists, "They have minds shaped by Shaitan to be both a necessity and a punishment to man. A camel can spit in a man's eye and then bite his face off, and will do both for no reason other than spite."

"I think ALL animals are cute and precious." Red Siren arrives at the bridge, leaning against the doorway, "Especially Roarke."

[Continued]

Did you know that Burritos are called Burritos because they look like bed rolls and shit donkeys carried.

I thought she stayed behind? Dammit woman!

We should probably look into upgrading Miles and Richard's machines since they are still Harpies

"Goats are the most evil animals that have ever existed, with vigorous competition from geese." Richard has not seen Canadian geese then. Bastards will gang up and chase children down if they smell weakness. Then again, whatever canadian geese remain in canada are probably a lot more horrifying.

I've seen it firsthand. Canada geese are a special, special breed of evil. I've had a goat literally attempt to murder me before, though.

These motherfuckers have never had to go through the hardship that is hunting youngish cattle.

Here's a goose story for you all then.

Holy shit thats funny

got another one but need to find it

I love Korea. Their moon rune cartoons are also easier to read since they go left to right like any civilized language should.

ahhh always gets a chuckle outta me. i need to start naming my files. make it easier to find these things.

"It's a good thing someone is watching Roarke to make sure he doesn't vanish into the woods like your tiger did." Karen comments innocently.

Red Siren bristles, "Yes, it would be just an AWFUL shame if someone was trying to steal Roarke and fatten him up with her awful cooking when I'm momentarily distracted."

"MEATBREAD IS THE FUTURE!" Karen stomps her foot at Rosita. "It's nobody else's fault that you're easily distracted, either!"

"This is why we need to get Fatima back quickly." You remark. You see the rest of your pilots have arrived, and quickly change the subject, "Alright. Mohammed, the map please."

Your Second Mate nods hastily and projects an image of the local terrain across the table. On the Rhinehawk, you would have a separate room for this sort of thing, but sadly this isn't the flagship and space is at more of a premium. His topographic map shows the area surrounding the wedding for several hundred kilos, including the three sensor towers whose range it sits inside. They form a shallow semicircle around it, part of a line of towers between the wasteland and New Medina.

"Why don't they just hold the wedding in the city?" Miles asks.

Mohammed shrugs, "This is the site where several wealthy patriarchs, including Rashad's and Fatima's fathers, swore allegiance to Hakim the Kinless. It is considered lucky for auspicious unions, which is why gardens were planted there. Many deals have been made and many weddings forged on that spot."

You go over your forces again in your head, "Five Scimitars, Two Pumpkinseed IIs..."

"Remember, if anyone asks, we're pirates." One of the girls piloting the Pumkinseeds winks. She's one of Gretchen's friends, the reporter herself has been left behind due to the fact that she would be contractually obligated to report on this raid. The other one giggles, "Don't you worry your pretty head, we know we're supposed to keep this a secret. As far as anyone needs to know, your people are piloting our mecha."

[Continued]

Save us Fatima

She is pretty useful in terms of team management and while the other girls provide their own specialties(Karen is machines, and a sort of tender care, Sammy can into information and stealth warfare along with a nice refined flair, Red is great PR and human resources along with more flair in general, and Clemmy provides a strong arm and a good mirror to roarke.), Fatima keeps everything in check and makes sure its running smoothly.

Interestingly she has no beef with any of the other girls either, but that might change when we get a new waifu or two

fuck it, can't find the damn thing.
gonna have to sort my folders later.

"...No problem, then. Three Cloaked Harpies..." You continue.

"SHINOBIS, Teitoku-sama!" Yoritomo corrects you instantly.

"Er, yeah, Harpy Shinobis. In addition to which, we have the Knuckle Kaiser, the Tarrasque, the S-Flowerhorn, the Archen, the S-Betta, the Osano-Wo, Basil's Warmouth Custom, the two Master Harpies, and...Moe, what are you calling your new mech?" You look up at him.

"The 'too-fucking-big-for-poor-Miles-to-paint-without-beer-Jove-damn-it-Dude'" Miles grouses under her breath.

"The Zulfiqar, I think." Mohammed scratches his head awkwardly, "I don't really get into naming my mecha the way some people do."

"...And the Zulfiqar." You conclude. "Right. We're splitting into four teams. Assault, overhead, tower busters, and the rearguard taking care of the ship. Karen will be running the comms from here. Let's handle the tower busters first. The three Harpies will handle Tower 1." You point and Mohammed marks it with a 1 using his PC, "Samantha, you're at Tower 2." She nods, and Mohammed marks that on the map too, he's got cheerful little pre-drawn images for all the mecha like the sprites in old pre-simulation video games, "Those two, we're taking by stealth. As for the third, that's the closest to the wedding...and Miles has suggested we just snipe it down. Can you really do that?" You glance at her.

She shrugs, "Not with my Master Harpy's rifle, no. I'm not planning to use it, though. It's a rule of sniping that size matters, and a really, really big cannon can generally shoot farther. I'm going to take the Tarrasque, ugly and bulky as it is, and melt the tower to fucking slag with the main cannon. Then I'll ride back with Richard while you take the Tarrasque, slap on that slave package Karen built for it, and get my mech from the ship."

"What about the people inside!?" One of the Pumpkinseed girls demands to know.

[Continued]

"The towers are unmanned." Mohammed clarifies, "They frequently go down during sandstorms or are targeted by raiders, so it would be hard to keep people stationed there permanently."


"Alright, that means one the towers go down the Master Harpies will be playing rearguard at the ship. As for you five..." You address the Scimitar Squad, "...You'll be flying overhead. You've been painted in neutral PMC colors, your job is to radio in if anything unexpected happens. Protect us from surprises, but do NOT engage unless absolutely necessary. We don't want to lose anyone. The
"Alright, that means one the towers go down the Master Harpies will be playing rearguard at the ship. As for you five..." You address the Scimitar Squad, "...You'll be flying overhead. You've been painted in neutral PMC colors, your job is to radio in if anything unexpected happens. Protect us from surprises, but do NOT engage unless absolutely necessary. We don't want to lose anyone. That's tower teams and overhead taken care of, now for the remaining two..."

>[Who will you take with you to the wedding, and who will you leave to defend the ship? You'll have half an hour, minimum, to decide because this is important. I say minimum because sometimes I start typing, notice the players' intentions have shifted, and have to quickly change things.]

double post Wong?

I think that's my biggest typo yet. GG me.

Because she seems to treat it as a sort of job and is use to the idea of more than one wife. The other girls aren't competition, just employees who have the same taste in men. Course, she also seems to a free spirited side, so we may need to take that into consideration.

Alright so lets take Clemmy Siren Sam and Oda and leave the reast to guard the ship

Polygamy coming back into vogue is a relatively recent thing, but sensible in its own way. The Purging of Mars really did a number on its population, and Hakim made it legal again so the Martians could repopulate. Fatima isn't really a jealous person by nature, and because she views it as both a duty and a cultural tradition REVIVED BY THE GLORIOUS CALIPH DESPITE WHAT THE SUPPRESSIVE JOVIANS AND LUNARIANS SAID ABOUT IT she'd defend the practice vigorously if asked.

Right. Sam should likely head back to defend the ship once she deals with her tower, along with the shinobis to serve as a quick means to quietly disable trouble makers. Clemmy should also stick behind to assist alongside a pumpkinseed. We want to keep our presence small and those who stick behind should be easy to assume that they are either cloaked, or could be seen as navy.

Oda and Roarke can work best with our police officer's scatter/smoke missiles, and Siren's flashiness can help draw focus on this group. Moe's machine is hard to tell since I don't know what systems he has, but if he should probably come with us to help convince Fatima.

Remember, our goal is to get fatima first and foremost, but that bit becomes as easy or as hard as her willingness to come with us. If we need to convince her, we do so, and we do not overstay ourselves if possible. No point in taking machines down either since our transport likely can't hold the scrap we get.

Why did we bring Karen along?

Actually switch Siren for Basil so we can have one of our better pilots defned the ship and we can make use of Basil's crowd control

Moe's machine has a mostly even mix of range and melee. It's scaled up and based off the Exia rather than the Fairlion Paladinguy originally used, but it still has a weapon similar in concept to the MOE system on each arm, a souped-up Energy Pool that can project either beam blasts or a pata-style beamsaber.

Someone has to maintain all our hodgepodge mechs.

Ground control most likely. The kestrel is too far away and she's probably one of the better picks for watching everyone and relaying data and information.

Me here. /m/posting and removed my trip and forgot to put it back on again.

Then him coming may be good since he could provide a mix of melee and range for whats needed.

Basil and Clemmy and Osono-Wa and Pumpkinseeds to hang slightly back. Rosita, Moe, Samantha and Tarrasque to join in. However many Scimitars in a patrol to guard the transport, Miles and Richard to jump out at a moment's notice.

I just remember that Fairchild is going to be their so bring Clemmy might not be a good idea

So how about

Wedding team:
Roarke
Oda
Moe
Basil
Siren

Defense team:
Mook mechs
Miles
Richard
Clemmy

Forgot Sam for Defense team

A word of caution, don't forget your rearguard and don't make your decisions on who to bring with you on the basis of hoping they'll say something cute. This is Roarke's heist, and the vast majority of the talking by the pirates will be left to him. Additionally, that ship is your ticket off Mars, and if, say, raiders attack it and you've only left a few grunts hanging around...this arc might become considerably longer.

Hmmmm, then Moe staying back might be a good idea. Lasers won't work too well in the chaff and his machine can offer support for the more mookish machines. It'd put a lot of strength on our defense team, but considering our goal is rescue and flight and not slogging through, then keeping moe on defense would be best.

So far it's looking like this.

Wedding Team: Roarke, Oda, Basil, Red Siren

Rearguard Team: Pumpkinseed IIs, all units returning from tower duty unless you want Sam to show up and start picking enemies off in melee, Clemmy, Mohammed.

Another thing to keep in mind is that why it might make the teams more lumpy, Fatima in the Tarrasque will boster or rescue team once we get her.

Sounds right. Keep the wedding crashing party smallish to prevent the chance of someone slowing down.

Sounds good lets do it

Seconded

"Zulfiqar, S-Flowerhorn, you're in charge of the ship's guard. Moe, you're in charge until Miles and Richard get back, but take Clemmy's combat experience and advice into account. You can learn a lot from her." You nod at the two pilots you indicated.

"J-just don't get too excited and charge into a massive beam cannon and you'll be alright. Learning from your elders' mistakes is a key to success!" Clemmy smiles, "This way it won't be awkward if I see somebody I know."

"That's my special girl." You smile warmly at her, and she blushes happily, "Keep the Pumpkinseed IIs with you. They've had their rocket launchers modified to fire smoke and chaff rounds, so coupled with their beam sabers you'll have a lot of close combat strength to take advantage of the cover the rockets will create. After destroying their respective towers, the tower team will return to the ship to support the rearguard. This..." You draw a line on the map between the wedding site and the ship with your finger, and Mohammed fills it in on the screen with his PC, "This is the route we'll be taking on our return, barring unforeseen circumstances. Now, Basil's Warmouth has been modified with an enhanced thruster portfolio, so it is capable of atmospheric flight, like the rest of our assault team, therefore we won't have to worry too much about these canyons here or this ridge..." You point out the features on the map.

"And a bally good job the little woman did of it too." Old Basil says fiercely, "The Warmouth's a fine mech, sah."

"Glad to hear it. We'll be relying on you to spread chaff and smoke if needed. Rashad has no reason to believe we'd actually show up on Mars just to re-kidnap a woman we were already paid for, so we shouldn't count on violence and get too trigger-happy, but it's very likely he has security and they could pose a problem so we should be prepared to fight anyway."

[Continued]

"Samantha, I'm modifying your orders. You'll perch here." You indicate a spot on your escape route, "If we're escaping under fire, you can join in and help turn the situation around. If the ship gets attacked and they need you, though, go to them. Are there any questions?"

"Admiral, sah." Basil's back straightens with military sharpness, and his mustache bristles slightly, "We should do what we can to protect any civilians at the wedding. May I suggest that, if the enemy manages to scrape together enough guts between them to mount resistance, we pull back away from the crowd and take down the blighters where we can fight with impunity?" His mustache bristles vengefully. You recall that he liked Sheikh Ahmad, losing an old friend must sting.

"Excellent suggestion. It's not as if they won't pursue us, after all. If they try and take Fatima away in the confusion, I'll retrieve her personally. The Kaiser can take some punishment, and it's best if I'm the one who grabs her. Anyone else? No? Alright, let's go. I want the comms network up and every engine in the bay humming before the microgate generator finishes recharging." You check the chronometer on your PC, and with the meeting dismissed you head for the bay.

[Continued]

Cool name for Moe's mech. A legendary sword eh?

Aye. When I thought of the name, I wanted to keep with the blade names of the Mars based mechs. Figured this would be a good name. Guess we'll see how it does against raiders and attackers. If it kept some of the MOE system's defensive options, it'll be pretty good for it's role.

"Hey, Red." Karen remarks.

"Yes?" Red Siren's back straightens on her way out the door after you.

"Bring him back to me, alright?" Karen says.

"Don't I always?" Red Siren grins a little, wryly.

"And...you come back home too. You make him happy, you know." Karen adds, more quietly.

"Heh." Red Siren, for once, has no idea what to say. Then she smiles and gives Karen a thumbs-up, "You too."

You pretend like you weren't listening in, and head to do a final checkup on your mech, Rosita hurrying after you.

[Continued]

Damn son.

>Full on french kiss with the red siren.
>"Thank you. For everything."

Is this the blossoming of a new friendship? Probably not

*hmmmmm*
*wirrr*beep*beepwhirrrr

>Reactor....initialized.
>100% power reserves
>100% structural integrity
>Communications...online
>Life support...online. 100% emergency reserves
>Sensors...online
>BruceLee-class Right Fist 'Pillage'...ARMED
>BruceLee-class Left Fist 'Plunder'...ARMED
>Weapons Safety Interlocks...DISENGAGED
>Mecha checks completed....online.
>Status: Ready For Combat
>Whom shall we loot today, Admiral Roarke?

*typing*
>Update navigation plans
>Updating from PC 'Moe'...done.
>Waypoint list updated, target list 'Asses to Kick' accepted.

>Movement system...ACTIVE

The ramp drops...

A short time later, relatively...

"All teams report in. Skies clear?" Karen's voice is crisp and unusually calm over the comms.

"Talon 1 reporting in, skies are clear. There's a sandstorm in the distance, but it's passing us by. No sign of hostiles." The leader of the Scimitar squad responds.

"Tower teams, are you in position and are your chronometers set?"

"Set." Samantha, sounding as professional as if she was still in the Jovian special forces.

"Set." Miles, sounding bored. She's been grumbling about the S-Tarrasque's unfamiliar systems since she got into it, aside from the giant cannon which she unabashedly wants to steal before giving the rest back to Fatima.

"TIMAH SETTO, HIME-SAMA! KESTRELS BANZAI! RAIRYU BANZAI!"
"BANZAI! TAICHOU ODA-SAMA BANZAI!"
"TEITOKU STORMWIND-SAMA BANZAI! NINJUTSU BANZAI!" The three Harpy pilots chime out in unision and with great enthusiasm.

"FIGHT HARD MY PUPILS!" Bellows Oda over whatever Karen tried to say in response.

"TAICHOU-SAMA! We won't fail you! All hail the rightful shogun! All hail the Oda bloodline! NIPPON BANZAI!" They call out.

"NIPPON BANZAI!" He bellows back. The air is thick with their patriotic fervor.

You probably should say something, but there are two problems with that. First of all, your lips and tongue are still a little numb from how hard you kissed Red Siren and Karen before you left. Second, you're as excited as the Storm Dragons and it would be hypocritical to admonish them.

You open up a private channel to the Archen, where Rosita is humming what you presume to be a potential tune for her next album, "Hey, China Girl. Thank you for everything."

[Continued]

So many death flags going up

She stops humming, then laughs, soft and warm, "Thank you for being with me. Let's save the princess and go back to Auditorium together. Oh, and...happy birthday, Roarke. I knew you'd get mad if I bought something else expensive after giving you the ship, so I was a good girl and restrained myself. There's a bottle of really, really good scotch waiting for us back home. I didn't bring it along because I know you and Fatima will probably want to spend time together on the journey back. It's in my room at the palace, waiting for you, just like I'll be in the new lingerie that I also bought because it's your birthday. Maybe I should tell you about it? It's red, and it's lacy, and..."

"UWAAA, I SAID STORMWIND-SAMA INSTEAD OF STARWIND-SAMA, PLEASE ACCEPT MY HONORABLE SEPPUKU ADMIRAL!" One of the Harpy pilots wails over the comms, his comrades hastening to reassure him.

You're distracted from the infinitely more pleasant conversation and flip quickly back to the ally commnet, "No! No! It's fine, cancel your shepuken. Sweet fucking Jove do NOT commit ritual suicide." You're extremely grateful for once that you actually knew what that word meant.

"Failing your duty is worse than a small dishonor, kouhai!" Oda confirms.

"Thirty seconds until." Karen chimes in, and begins counting down.

[Continued]

We'll just have to punch them right the fuck back down then.

Damn it Oda.. your ham is delicious. This certainly seems like a more professional heist as well. Guess we'll just have to see how-
..stop invoking Murphy's law man.

Its a whole damn parade at this point, as long as they don't bring out the "I have a girl back home i'm gonna marry" flag it shouldn't be too bad though.

I say Macbeth backstage at all my shows too

But, we have four.

but we haven't said the words, as long as we don't confide that information to a brother in arms during a lull in the battle, roarke has enough kickass to survive

Clemmy has said it multiple times at this point. What does this mean for her?

"Alright, Miles. No sweat. No pressure, you can do this..." You hear your First Mate muttering into the comms, "It's just a big damned gun, and a still target fifteen clicks away. You've got this." You hear a rattle of metal, then the sound of her kissing something, likely a piece of jewelry or a good luck charm.

The mines that were set by Samantha and the Harpies explode in the same instant. At the same time, a beam of raw, golden plasma from the Tarrasque's main gun tears the third tower in half. "Roarke, you're good to go, switching controls over to slave mode!" Miles pops the hatch and climbs out, onto the hand of Richard's Master Harpy.

The small screen that Karen jury-rigged into your cockpit lights up. She'd explained to you that the hardest part of making this system was that there's no standard way to do it, the system that can control a S-Slayer can't simply be repurposed to control the Tarrasque because the two mecha are completely different. Granted, anything can be done with time and ingenuity, but time isn't a luxury you had in this case. It does have a few standard programs she built in, namely following you in flight and how you plan to arrive at the ceremony site. You select the follow program, and tailed by your squad you set off to crash a wedding.

[Continued]

yandere's seem to be exempt from death flags, though with her becoming more of a deredere recently... theres a reason we left her with the defense team besides inconvenient meetings with fairchild

But Naomi announced her intention to marry Caesar and retire as a general and nothing bad has happened to her.

Don't Miles and Richard seem awfully close to it?

she resembles the goddess of the avalonians, and is likely related to an arch nemesis of caesers family; something is going to happen.

please stop trying to breach my carefully built wall of excuses and justifications as to why we won't lose anyone we like on this mission.
but yeah, there's not much to protect those two plot armor wise... eep

Maybe nobody will die...maybe somebody will be captured.

There is a special type of irony to getting captured on a rescue mission.

>Roarke ends up getting captured
This better not end up with a Behelit