ATTENTION CITIZEN. YOU HAVE BEEN ACCUSED OF TREASON

ATTENTION CITIZEN. YOU HAVE BEEN ACCUSED OF TREASON.

HOW DO YOU PLEAD.

Oh damnit. You got me.

Only Commie Mutant Traitors plead, I trust Friend Computer, Friend Computer is my friend and Friend Computer would never be friends with a Traitor, so therefore the accuser must be a Traitor!

>Syntax error
>Computer explodes

REPORT TO TERMINATION THANK YOU HAVE A NICE DAY CYCLE

THIS INFORMATION WAS RETREIVED BY RETREIVAL SPECIALIST (Information not available at your clearance)

ARE YOU ACCUSING THE ORIGINAL FILE SUBMITTER IN INT-SEC OR THE (REDACTED)?

I have sufficient clearance to commit treason.

Oh. Come on. This is my sixth clone. Can´t I finish a mission without being executed for once?

Only two possible outcomes:
-this is a loyalty test, in which case I cannot lie to Friend Computer, I am not a Traitor

-This is not a test, in which case infosec have failed Friend Computer.

I don't have clearance to determine the truth, so Friend Computer must determine the outcome

SUBMIT IDENTITY AND CLEARANCE

REPORT TO INT-SEC DETENTION CENTER #34 IN SECTOR DIY FOR MANDATOR SERVICE-SERVICE. YOU WILL BE SPARED THIS TIME.

AN INVESTIGATION HAS BEEN FILED, REPORT TO MISSION BREIFING IN SECTOR HYD, BREIFING ROOM (This information not available at your clearance)

ATTENTION FRIEND COMPUTER

HONK HONK HONK VIRUS

ALL TROUBLE SHOOTERS ARE TO REPORT TO SECTOR DLL CORRIDOR 55 TO TERMINAAJHS:EFh :SDkjh@8935654 64#854 F4sdfg65w3454wsg6S 1435g6

Error. A critical fault has been detected.

Frined Computer? I don´t know where sector DIY is located. Had to give my map to a blue clearance guy, since he was higher up than me.

You there! Yes you! You're coming with us! There's commies in the barracks and you're going in first, RED.

Welp, guess you really can't trust computers.

Rolled 55 (1d100)

With my dick

YOU HAVE BEEN MISSING YOU DAILY SUPPRESSANTS. THIS IS TREASON. REPORT FOR TERMINATION.

TRUST THE COMPUTER. THE COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIEND.

Look, Friend Computer wants me to report somewhere else, so I don´t have the...

You know what? I go in there. It´s treason, not to do one thing or the other anyway.

Inside the Barracks is nothing more than a confused looking INFRARED Citizen. He gives you a pleading look, visibly stuck with one arm in a vending machine featuring HOT FUN food supplement.

Exactly how many people are authorized to access this Blue board?

Twelve.

Me?

[Looks behind me]

But friend-computer, as a troubleshooter i am to kill commie mutant traitorous scum; if i was a commmie mutant traitor I'd have to kill myself. I haven't killed myself, therefore I cannot be a commie mutant traitor. Furthermore I know that because commie mutant traitors and especially secret societies are not real, I can only assume that this message is the result of commie mutant traitor activity. Where would you like me to go and troubeshoot, dear friend-computer?

I plead ignorance.

Well, first you fold the fabric back on itself, then you secure it in place with either a pin or some stitching.
But wait, pleating is treason now?

Look, it's not my fault my opponent is playing red and I have no hexproof, okay?

What's a "treason?"

Whatever Friend-Computer says it is.

It's a big thing that grows out of the ground, Da'

...

i love these, why can't my players do this more

Friend Computer, my dubs prove I was at home at the time! In the sewers! Because I'm a mutant!

Friend computer I am guilty understand that I inadvertently committed treason while performing my troubleshooting duties this is why I reported myself and turn myself over to judgement as I know my Friend computer only wants what's best for me and if I am to be executed then so be it I'm not going to question friend computers orders

Kek'd and check'd

It wasn't me! Honest! It was that guy! He did it!

Accusing another without evidence is treason friend.

I do not know. I have been implanted with a Device that blocks any memories I have of things that are above my clearance level. Any treasonous activity would likely be blocked by the Device.

I can confirm that I have gaps in my memory. Maybe I took part in treason. Maybe someone else committed treason and I saw something above my clearance as a result. Maybe I took part in something that was classified after the incident. I don't know.

The Device will unlock my memories if I gain sufficient clearance. Though increasing the clearance of a suspect seems unwise.

I will accept Friend Computers judgement.