Boss I 'ave a question of philosophicul natur can dere be such fing as enuff dakka?

>'E finks choppy is be'ah dan shooty

oi ya grot luvva! get stuck in wiff da boyz fer once!

What ya mean ya lousy git? Enuff dakka? Who evah had enuff dakka?! Oy, let me 'splain dis 'ere to ya grotface, if dere wus enuff dakka, no mo' dakka wuds be made rite? Is like teef, why we haff teef? To buy dakka ya nobgobbla, an teef don't last, and dakka don't last, so we needs mo' teefs, so we's can gets mo' dakkaz. The day da teef in ya stupid grin gone, and new wunz don't grow, aye maybe enuff dakka, but i wuds much rathers sees da dentist bouts it, cuz who wudns wants Mo dakka?

I sees boss, but hows da teefs 'no we needz mo dakka?

No ya stupid git now stop yappin an start fightin or ima gonna show yuz my dakka.

Fyzically you'z only got enuff dakka wen all spezz is dakka.
But in a WAAAGH!!! sense you'z got always enuff dakka inside you, 'cuz thats wut really matters.

BOSS BOSSS

I HAZ A QUESTUN!!!

If Orkz ken nevah lose cause if wez die wez die fightin so thats not losin, un if we win wez win. Or if we runz we ken come bak fer anuva go, so it dun count.

Den muh questtun iz, if wez fightin ovah orkz, who wins?

Nah ya git. Seez 'ere: Iv Gork gots enuff dakka den Mork must also 'ave enuff dakka, right? Stands ta reesin. But wees be 'avin' a conundr...parid...problim fingy, right, 'cos if ya gots da same amount ov dakka as anova ork den yooz ovviusly nots be 'avin' enuff dakka. Simple wen yooz fink about it. Now quit muckin' about ya grot.

Sumbodee pzt da chart.

You'z neva got 'nuff dakka ya git. Da yooniverse iz eva expandin', the'fore ya always gots more targits ta shoot up.

An' if youz real lucky, dem targits iz bigger dan da last ones, so you needz always more dakka and if possibul bigga dakka.

Ya evahs 'eard 'bouts da old wunz git? Dey smart, supa' smarts, make ork, make teefs, make dakka, choppies shooties, shinies, dey mades it alls. But someone start askin' questions, suddenly squats gone, brainy boyz gone, oldcrons gones. Da teef 'no cuz dey don't 'no, cuz askin why then teefs be gone. And dat why we haz dis world, cuz nobody ask too many questshuns, jus' enjoy da dakka git an' shuts up.

We boths win, since Orks cant looze, stands to riisin ya dum' shit

Our Boss winz, thatz who ya weedy grot! If you fink otherwize, den share your philosophicul tio...tiu...the-ou-ris wiff da Boss `n hiz custom shoota, we'll see how it goez, har har!

>thread

This is why Orkimedies is a more respected brainboy. He investigated the rules of dakka in very large amounts, building dakka really big, and mathing red levers.

Orkrates was mucking about.

Dat's a stoopid question, ya grot.

Da real question is, wot came first; dakka or shooty? Cos obviously, you need shooty to 'ave dakka, but you could also sez dat shooty is really just slow dakka.

Hmm, dat dere's a good question. Oi've an idea 'ow we can test it. Oi take dis shootah an' point it in yer ugly face, an' you take dat choppah and den ya try ta krump me before Oi krump you.

Da wun dat winz again tomorrow.

Wot wen you krump 'im an' 'e krumps you wiff throwin' 'is choppah?

Is throwin' yer choppah dakka or not?

Pray tah Gork an' Mork dat we nevah 'ave enuff dakka. Cuz when we do, dat meenz we krump all da gitz everywhere, an den we'll 'ave no mor gitz left tah krump. Get it? We'll be viktimz of our own suksess.

>Is throwin' yer choppah dakka or not?
Dis boy'z askin' da real kwestions

Wot 'bout dem gunz da pansy gits 'ave dat shoot funny-shaped knive? Is dey choppy or shooty? Is dey both?

Dey's neithah, ya grott. Dem pansy gitz gunz are fer pansy gitz. Dun tink about dem, or ay'll krump yah.

But wot if ya gets biggah? Den you ken karry more dakka!

Thus, da most dakkaist Ork haz ta be the biggust won. 'Erefore, Orkz must grow and git dakka and grow and dakka and grow.

Oi'll loot whatevah da zog Oi wish, you ugly git.

OY! DASSIT! OY'M KUMMIN' OVAH' ROIGHT NOW! I'Z GUNNA KRUMP YA GUD! STAN' STILL WHILE AY GET MEH DAKKA-GUN!

Hurr hurr, dis stoopid git thinkz Oi'm wun ov dose stoopid boyz 'o don't know 'ow ta be kunnin' an' sneaky. Loike Oi'm gonna sit around an' wait fer 'im ta come back instead ov just sittin' somewhere else where 'e can't see me an' den shoot 'im when 'e gets back. Oi got da sneaky quiet knoife-ear shootah 'an all.

Oi, I laughed so 'ard I fukken choked, ya grots!

Hello, filthy Xeno, I see you have come to me to hear the word of our lord and savior the God Emperor of Mankind. Please remain within those bushes as I unload holy bolt-shells into your inferior and heretical cranium. Have a nice purging.

Oi- I mean Battle Brother! I'll krump- I mean purge the gitz!

Dakka simply is, it is a solution, its existence is in being, in the solving of problems; in the motion of bullets flying. To have enough dakka is to have reduced your enemies to a pile of corpses. Only in the action of dakka can one know if it is sufficient. Too much dakka, is of course, unobtainable. Dakka or do not dakka, and you shall know when there is enough by whether any are left standing.

...Battle brother... Why is your skin so green?

Itz just the lighting.

If green iz da best, haz anywune really been far even as decided to see wen go want to do look mo' like?

Yeah. Dat'z wot we do.

Wot iz you sayin', dat dere'z a fing loike not havin' somewun ta kill? As far as Oi'm concerned, when Oi've killed da gitz dat I wuz meanin' ta kill, den dere's somefin' else dat Oi mean to kill even if Oi'm not sure wot it iz yet, an' I can't bloody well kill all my enemies loike dat now can I?

No, no you stoopid git. See, youz know you hav enuff dakka when youz can krump yer enemies wiv it. If youz can't krump yer enemies, den youz don't hav enuff dakka. Howevah, youz can never hav too much dakka. See? Real simple like when youz tink about it.

Da Salamanders are all black. Dere's weirder skin colours for us Murreens out dere.

CHOPPY IS JUST A DIFRENT FORMA DAKKA YA GIT

He also invented the Telly-porta. Dat's proper knowwots.

Wot du ya mean? Dis my natural colour! I even gotz dis weird 'elmet!

Wait, wait, you 'as a shooty wot shoots dakka? Dat's ded killy, dat is.

Nah, you'z da git. Dakka goes "DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA", dat's why it'z called "dakka", roight? Well, choppy goes "CHOP CHOP CHOP". Dat's why it'z called "choppy". Choppy dun't go "DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA". 'n dat'z why you'z a stoopid panzee-loikin' git.

I iz feelin' airsick.

It's not da dakka in yer ears, ya grot, it's da dakka in yer soul.

yous got a long way to go.

You're da stoopid git, git. You can't 'ave enuff dakka ta krump yer enemies, because dere'll always more enemies ta krump. Loike dat idiot Goff, wot'zizname, Skullbog, next time Oi see 'im Oi'm gonna feed 'im 'iz own choppah. So you'z sayin' dot'z enuff dakka, or choppah Oi s'pose, but den dere's a bunch ov odda stoopid grots dat Oi'm gonna krump if Oi see 'em, an' iz not like Oi can krump 'em all at wunce, iz it? An' fact iz, even if I could krump 'em all at wunce, iz not like dot meanz Oi'd 'ave run out of fings to krump, so when am I s'posed to 'ave 'ad enuff dakka in all dis?

But den we still got each otha to keep aroun' ta fight, so we's nevva run outa Dakka, cuz we' nevva run outta Gitz ta fight. Ya?

I'z gots a qwestun. Can ya ever have enuff Choppa? Cuz, obviously, ya can havv a Choppa dat's too big for sum git ta lift, so e' can't krump wid it, but we'z gets bigga too... so dere's always sum huge ork boy dat's big enuff to krump wid a bigga choppa, but even den, dere's a Choppa too big fer him ta lift...

>Cuz, obviously, ya can havv a Choppa dat's too big for sum git ta lift
Den you trade it to a killah kan in exchange fer a ride.

Naw, ya git, you ain't nevva gunna 'ave enuff dakka!

QUESTONZ!

kan a rokket launcha count as dakka? Dozent it's go KAROOM?

We need more famous ork filosofers.

Like Orkartes ("I krump, derefore I iz"). Or Zenork (who claimed that a red trukk can't cath up with a blue one that started before it, because whenever the red trukk moves to where the blue one used to be, the blue trukk has moved forward. He was promptly krumped for being a git).

There's also gitzche, who said that nuffin mattered.
He was promptly krumped, because thinking that fightin didn't matter was proper unorky.

Hi, fellow green ones, I come with a question of similar nature, will you mind telling me about this dakka and how it will fit in the Greater Good these Tau, which I totally not know anything about, talk about?

Youz grey skins hav propa dakka but youz lack a propa cutta

Don't forget Surrealist Krumper Rene Orkritte, who famously painted himself purple and ran in the middle of a 'Umie city, shouting "Dis is not a Waaaagh!"

Thorkeau, who advocated returning to the state of feral orkdom and refusing to use stuff looted from other species.

Oi fink dat oi preferz da ork poe-ets. Loike Vikta Huge. He rote "Da Mizzy-Rabble", which is a roight un-orky name, so he got krumped for it, but one-a da best known bits goes loike dis:
"Green: da blood of WAAAGH!in' Orkz!
Green: the WAAAGH!s of ages past!
Green: da newest WAAAGH!in' Orkz!
Green: da WAAAGH! beginz at last!"
which most Orkz 'oo know ov it reckon is roight proppa Orky.

Hello filthy mushroom men. We have dakka.

Someone post THAT screencap.

>gitzche

read this in text-to-speech mode.
damn.

Oi! Fink I'll be droppin a stikkbomb down da hatch an takin dat dere wagon. Needs a bit moar dakka but I fink da mekboyz kan work wid it.

Can Oi 'ave it?

You gits gotta fink logically.
If you kin 'av "enuff Dakka", den moar dakka would make it "too much dakka"
Dere's no such thing as "Too much dakka"
Ergo, needs moar dakka.

wez not green bruvva wez grey inna tank

>Ork Hegel wuz always fillosofizin' until everywun realized he wuz a git fulla zog, an' got krumped for it
>Ork Sartre wuz krumped for askin' what dakka really means

Boyz wut if gork and mork arent da biggest baddest wut if da hummies big boss iz the biggestz baddestz around? wut if wez start helpin da humies slag da spiky gits or dose panzie eldar