And yet in spite of your uncouth, transparent ways, I shall respond in earnest.
Other barbarians: the Mongols, the Goths, the Turks, the 'Sea Peoples'
Liam Ross
The reason the Middle East and Central Asia went from being the center of world civilization and culture with the world's largest concentration of heavily fortified cities to a desert wasteland populated only by goat herders and poppy farmers: Temujin
Daniel King
Mongols fought other armies a lot retard they had actual combat experience.
Dominic Rogers
>>Goths
Definition of Barbarian in Roman times: someone whose first language is not Latin.
Reason the Goths conquered the Romans: the Romans hired the Goths to do all of their fighting for them because Roman tactical and organizational skills were inferior.
Justin Long
>implying it's not just because of conan
Ryder Nelson
GOAT fighter
Brayden Jackson
>this is what krauts actually believe
kill yourself Hans Cuckmich von Panzerkampfwagen ibn Mohammad von Stuttenkaputten IV
Aaron Bennett
fucking homo here, how exactly do mages beat barbarians?
Gabriel Gutierrez
With spells you dumb boner condoner.
Jaxson Reyes
the magi were a caste of persian priests, a fairly advanced and powerful civilization in their day who conquered many barbarians.
Lucas Turner
Goths have nothing to do with Krauts, you dicklicking fagslice homo. Goths created the modern nations of Italy and Spain.
Benjamin Lewis
WE WUZ GOTHS AND SHIET
no you were a shitskin manlet Gepetto go fuck yourself
>>HURR HURR I THINK HISTORY IS A CONTEST TO PROMOTE MY OWN NATIONALITY BECAUSE I CHUG HIPPO CUM FOR BREAKFAST
First you say I'm a kraut then you say I'm a wop? What are you, a fucking reindeer herder from Finland or something? PROTIP: people who lived 1800 years ago are FUCKING DEAD. You are not one of them. Your culture was invented in the 20th century by a bunch of faggot politicians. Thank God I live in America, the only culture in the world that isn't made up of fucking idiots who think they're "natives".
Brandon Carter
>This archetype of fantasy character sucks because muh realism >Not let me tell you about my character who shoots fire in his pajamas
wizardfags are the worst.
Isaac Diaz
Do you mean the Norse in general or those of them who went viking? Because if it's only the latter, then duh. Going viking was basically a way to supplement your income and getting some firsthand experience of fighting even if it was just plundering peasants and monks. It was something unblooded young men did for sport, basically. If you mean the Norse in general, let me assure you, the actual fighting men did not "get decked almost every time they met resistance". There's a reason the Norse mercenaries in the middle east were feared.
Zachary Watson
>America, the only culture in the world that isn't made up of fucking idiots
Top kek
Andrew Morales
>thank God I live in America
your grasp of history shows it
Kevin Gray
Dat Varangian Guard.
Dem Jomsvikings.
Dem Rus.
Jose Robinson
>he's never read a single conan story
Angel Peterson
Citation needed for that feared mercenaries part.
Easton Peterson
I'm going to guess you're just shitposting because you're bored, and don't even care how bad you are at this.
Gabriel Myers
Rus weren't vikings you retard Rurik was fucking finnish and as for Varangian Guard it also had Saxons in it and it was defeated anyway by fucking turkroaches.
Jack Martinez
>Thank God I live in America, the only culture in the world that isn't made up of fucking idiots who think they're "natives". Huh, didn't think the Yanks knew what irony and sarcasm were.
Matthew Hughes
Looks like we got a Mad Martial over here!
Logan Allen
>Our bitches
Funny that, England was considered paradise by the Norse and Danish kings wanted to be buried there.
Yorvik was considered the Jewel of the North Sea Empire
Cooper Ross
>Defeated by an entire conglomerate of Muslim states degrading a kingdom for decades.
It's quite easy to defeat a smaller foe when every other power hates their guts.
Alexander Wright
But of course when vikings swarmed some coastal village then it's a heroic feat right?
Chase Russell
I wasn't being ironic. You'll note that I said "culture", therefore Aussiefags and Canucks don't count. Good example of barbarians though.
Jason Murphy
Whykings
Cameron Robinson
No.
When they make their own kingdom that's ruled just as effectively and stable as every other half-crazed kingdom of England, I can't bring myself to complain.
I mean the Saxons did it before them.
Jackson Robinson
If you keep referring to "vikings" like it encompasses the entirety of the cultural, social and ethnic spectrum of the Norse of any older era, you're not making it terribly easy to take you seriously.
Grayson Green
Vikings sucked cock.
Carson Scott
Lots of people suck cock.
Ethan Edwards
Your mom.
Thomas Phillips
Barbarians are fucking shit.
Ryan Miller
That would actually be Islam.
Matthew Hernandez
>Definition of Barbarian in Roman times: someone whose first language is not Latin.
Correct.
>Reason the Goths conquered the Romans: the Romans hired the Goths to do all of their fighting for them because Roman tactical and organizational skills were inferior.
The Goths didn't conquer the Romans. They won a couple of battles against a poorly led and unprepared army that represented but a tiny fraction of the Roman Empire's might, which was busy trying to hold back another dozen tribes, as well as the Persian Empire.
Further the Romans hardly hired them because they were better fighters per se, they did it because they had always hired foreign auxilaries to fight alongside/in/as their field armies for a large variety of reasons, largely economic.
Gabriel Watson
>people with manners >this disgusting moor ass licking by some slav cuckold
Matthew Adams
Not him, but I have. It's incredibly clear that Conan is in fact one of the models for the D&D barbarian, which I assume is what we're talking about. I'm not even sure he could read during Tower of the Elephant.
Blake Martin
I instinctivelylean forward and narrow my eyes reading your posts
Tyler Gomez
Don't bother, Veeky Forums hates the Norse as much as they hate katanas. Actual history is irrelevant.
Joshua Ross
>Veeky Forums hates the norse stop forcing this meme. It's literally one person.
Isaac Davis
LOOOOL
Ryan White
It's worth mentioning that the Roman population seemed to be in decline, which may have been a major factor in their growing dependence on barbarians to do their dirty work.
But I don't know that the effectiveness of a people on an army level is necessarily indicative of the effectiveness of a people on a skirmish level. The Romans had discipline and formations and tactics and even war machines, but what does all of that matter if you've got a handful of them vs. a handful of barbarians? I mean, if we're tying this to RPGs, which is the point, I assume, then you don't see many conflicts that rise to the level of an honest-to-god battle, even a small one.
Christopher Richardson
top dank
Robert Harris
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conan_the_Barbarian >Conan speaks many languages, including advanced reading and writing abilities: in certain stories, he is able to recognize, or even decipher, certain ancient or secret signs and writings; for example, in "Jewels of Gwahlur" Howard states, "In his roaming about the world the giant adventurer had picked up a wide smattering of knowledge, particularly including the speaking and reading of many alien tongues. Many a sheltered scholar would have been astonished at the Cimmerian's linguistic abilities."
Camden Sanders
yea nothing to do with climate change...
Christopher Howard
Well of course. The very first story, Phoenix on the Sword, has him bent over a desk writing.
Where the character started and where he ended are two different things entirely. There's nothing stopping a D&D barbarian from spending skill points learning to read and write after all.
Easton Roberts
To be clear, Conan isnt' written in anything resembling chronological order.
Henry Thompson
>its a shitty Vikings meme thread Now tell me how Katanga are the worst swords in the world
Justin Parker
Conan was bright and a very quick learner, and his starting out uneducated and ignorant to the ways of the world is what made him really value the importance of knowledge. The Conan saga is, really, a story of transformation - a savage with a noble heart becoming a noble with a savage heart.
Oliver Allen
You can take the man out of Cimmeria but you can't take Cimmeria out of the man, huh? I haven't actually read any Conan books ever, where should I start? I think I read few comics my godfathers' owned when I was like 4-6
Jayden Allen
Swords were meme weapons to begin with.
Samuel Garcia
Read in the order R.E.H. wrote them. Avoid the publishing order. The Sword of the Phoenix The Frost-Giant's Daughter The God in the Bowl The Tower of the Elephant The Scarlet Citadel Queen of the Black Coast Black Colossus etc.
As fair as online sources go, the usual methods will work. As an added bonus, a good amount of his stories are public domain. I know there's a good site out there, not unlike hplovecraftonline, but I think I've lost all names and bookmarks related to it over time.
Make sure to read the Cimmeria poem he wrote for a look at the land.
Daniel Murphy
No we don't.
Norse were awesome.
Vikings were shit. Shhhiiiiiiittt!!!!!!!!!
David Davis
Norse and Niggers start with the same letter for a reason.
Jonathan Garcia
Don't forget that fantasy barbarians come from a social environment where tribes raid and fight eachother on a regular basis and where no man ever goes unarmed. Chances are if you meet a barbarian in his 20s he's been fighting other people for about a decade and has become good enough to venture the world as mercenary.
So yes, fantasy barbarians are good at fighting and you should stop with the hurrdurrburrburriuns threads.
Elijah Davis
I do too and I don't see any horns on my helmet.
Charles Clark
>vikings >horned helmet
kill yourself
Joseph Moore
Your ability to detect a joke, and not even a subtle one either, is astounding.
Jonathan Butler
grow a sense of humour dude
Colton Russell
>we Vikings were not good.
Nathan Jenkins
Are Mongols barbarians?
Hunter Hill
Yes. Same as the Cossacks.
Aiden Hill
Read some books on the golden hoard.
Asher Lee
Yes.
>hoard
yeah you should read a book or two as well
Owen Kelly
and some on vikings
Austin Stewart
What I'm noticing is that "barbarians" who eschewed melee weapons for bows tended to be more successful.
Conveniently, D&D barbarians also benefit from high dex due to low armor, and have increased movement speed. I don't know about you, but aside from Rage only helping with throwing weapons, I think there's a good Ranged harass Barbarian build in here somewhere.
Matthew Richardson
but the books I read told me that real-life vikings were terrible at war-making. Excellent raiders, but worthless for taking and holding territory unless they could dominate the local culture.
Christopher Carter
More like Italic matrons didn't want to send their spoiled incompetent sons to battle and instead let them who're them selves out in Roman slums.
Jonathan Martinez
hurr, he miss-spelled a word therefore he is uneducated
>worthless for taking and holding territory unless they could dominate the local culture. As opposed to which culture ever?
Owen Collins
What kind of dragon hoards barbarians?
Elijah Jackson
>The Ottoman Empire arose over a century after the Mongols kicked around >They dominated the Eastern Mediterranean to the point where Christian traders couldn't even float a raft there without bending the knee to the Sultan >They owned Constantinople, at the time of its fall without a doubt the most advanced city in the known world >They had downright monopolized the silk road >They even had an influx of learned Jews and Cordoba Muslims after the Spanish Inquisition >But they never managed to become the center of culture, knowledge and science because muh Mongols
>but aside from Rage only helping with throwing weapons, I think there's a good Ranged harass Barbarian build in here somewhere. The problem with rage and bows is that bows, at least in 3.5e, have a damage cap. That's also what overall makes them pretty unviable compared to melee weapons. Remove that cap and even with the increased MAD a barbarian raging bowman would be crazy scary. Imagine 3x(1d8+15) hitting you at a 90 ft range.That gives you two rounds to charge in... and be confronted by (3x(1d12+15). You'll probably be dead before that happens if said barbarian also has archery feats.
Sebastian Jenkins
don't you just need a composite longbow tuned to your rage-level strength?
James Kelly
Even then +5 str is the max modifier you can add to it.
Connor Jackson
>The problem with rage and bows is that bows, at least in 3.5e, have a damage cap.
Adaptive is a 1000g enchant.
>That's also what overall makes them pretty unviable compared to melee weapons.
No, that's the lack of Power attack. Notice how PF gave ranged power attack (Deadly Aim) and bows are suddenly the best choice instead of a sub-optimal one. Well, the changed Manyshot also helps.
Justin Johnson
oh yeah, I keep forgetting that I always houseruled that
Liam Brown
"Barbaric" is not civilisation stage, a method of government or anything, it's a judgement made by people onto those other dudes they despise. As such, the word has more to do with our values at best, our bias at worst, than with any factual assessment of the advancement of the "barbarians". Of course, there is nothing wrong with passing such judgement, but it can apply to any groups with values different from ours.
Levi Gonzalez
Faggot.
Parker Butler
>Can't use capital letters or punctuation. >Calling others Barbarians.
Ian Martinez
>how to be a barbarian
Josiah Bailey
Hey... That would be really good. The dragon would be eiter a warchief who killed the previous one in sigle combat or a figure of worship....
Xavier Baker
Tell us once more of the badass exploits of all the RL mages out there. No, scientists don't count.
Jackson Garcia
He is not, however, happy about that.
Aiden Sanders
Gandalf rekt Orcs.
Grayson Mitchell
>ibn Mohammad Hans really likes to go and vacationate in ibiza uh?
Angel Morris
>But they never managed to become the center of culture, knowledge and science because muh Mongols Shhhh moro, cry like women what you lost like a man.
;^)
Matthew Baker
Bitch, the Vikings founded an empire on slave trading. We call it Russia. The Vikings conquered Scotland, Ireland, Most of England and Northern France at one point - meaning they managed to conquer more of Britain than William the conqueror (and bits of France). Vikings were so badass, the Byzantine emperors would only recruit Vikings into their bodyguards - the Varangian Guard. Meanwhile, mages were too busy not existing to do anything like this.
Matthew Morgan
Old Britain was scared of them. Old Britain would fucking rek ISIS if they were around back them - Muslims were scared to go North of Iberia.
Andrew Stewart
Lel. Very irony. Much stupid. Wow.
John Nelson
>bait >memester >Hans Cuckmich von Panzerkampfwagen ibn Mohammad von Stuttenkaputten IV >dumb boner condoner >dicklicking fagslice >shitskin manlet gepetto >wizardfags >turkroaches >Aussiefags and Canucks >this disgusting moor ass licking by some slav cuckold >Faggot.
This is why I come here drunk. This shit is hilarious
Brandon Russell
>Northern France
you're retarded
also there is no archeological evidence for any norse in Russia, the Varangian Guard also had Saxons later on and they got BTFO anyway.
Alexander Jones
Slavs rekt memekings too when they attacked Hedeby.