All over the world, heavy users of Veeky Forums suddenly receive superpowers, with each one receiving a specific power based on the board they frequent most (so heavy Veeky Forums users get a certain power, heavy /pol/ users get another, etc.)
What would be each board's power, and how would the new superheroes come to interact in this new world?
It's all terrible and the world is fucked.
> superheroes
More like superfaggots.
Only on /r9k/!
I'm gonna state the obvious and say that fa/tg/uys become wizards.
I guess /b/tards would turn into something like Chaos You-know-whats too
This isn't without precedent. Everyone knows that being in contact with toxic waste gives you superpowers.
Robots become literal robots, made of metal with lots of tech, but incapable of feels
>incapable of feels
Isn't it the opposite?
From their perspective it's a superpower
/d/ becomes the villain faction
Almost 50% of my Veeky Forums time is Veeky Forums, with the same amount of time on /co/, and the rest by small bits of Veeky Forums and /x/. What do I become?
>inb4 "a guy with too much free time"
I'd say /pol/, given how universally hated they appear to be. Most of Veeky Forums considers /d/ harmless eccentrics.
/x/enophiles finally get the ability to create tulpas.
On the contrary, save for the recent /aco/ split which was kind of a mini clusterfuck with a lot of autistic bickering about rules and splitting the community, /d/ is generally one of the chiller boards.
>What do I become?
A faggot.
Veeky Forumstists can all go fast, regardless of what car they drive. Their powers get stronger in the presence of eurobeat.
People only hate /pol/ because it challenges their assumptions with arguments they can't dismantle without appeals to emotion.
>same shit different tomato
[s4s] becomes..?
>kinda friendly and polite
>pretending to be retarded 25 hours a day
>repeating the same shit all over
>admiring the beaty of dubs and other repeating digits
...
/pol/iticians become paladins of vengeance
>hurdurr you're angry because I'm right!
Nay, you're just constantly driving threads off topic with shit, deal with it, party-poopers
Blackguards
/s4s/ become Paladins/Clerics
Veeky Forums becomes shape-shifters. Everything here is role-play, from RPGs to our chosen CCGs (IMMA PLANESWALKER) to, arguably, our war games.
> implying /pol/ is evil
/pol/ sure feeds from its own spite. And - eh - you are what you eat!
Nonsense. They talk about hating Jews, too!
Jews are a species of sandniggers, so...
/k/: picrelated
I wonder who was behind those posts.
Way to go about proving the fucking point.
79 (me) is a slav, hur hur
Well how do fuck do you dismantle "Shill! REEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Anndd this thread is a classic example of why everyone hates /pol/
>heavy users of Veeky Forums
How how heavy is the cutoff point? Like 300 pounds?
Supposedly, the average Veeky Forums user is actually noodle thin.
Except for Veeky Forums.
>Veeky Forums powers
>animate Your Dudes
>create magical realm
>get shit done
It'll be like Akire, except with entire army of Tetusuos.
>implying 99% of heavy Veeky Forums users are so proactive that, if given powers, they would use them to affect the world rather than just quietly returning to the internet and spending the rest of their lives whining about why they didn't get better ones
I browse Veeky Forums and /an/ equally. What do I get? How big are the powers? Is it something lame like talking to the animals or can I command weather?
You're an animorph.
That's a curse, not a superpower. Enjoy suffering.
>tfw no more no gf feels
Sign me up
But without feels, how can you truly be a robot?
Hey bud. Everyone else there is joking. Sorry to have to tell you this. But you'll probably call me a jewshill anyway.
>/co/ gets based toon powers
>Veeky Forums gets minor probability manipulation but not to the point of being mary sues (rolling the dice on fate, after all)
>/g/ gets technomancy
>/d/ gets mind control but only for lewds
>/k/ gets the power of being /k/ and we all have to bow down to them
>/a/ and /v/ get the power to inflict cancer and become supervillains
>/r9k/ - the mysterious frog people!
>/m/ gets a mecha
>Veeky Forums gets cooking themed powers and they're totally great
>Veeky Forums gets hulk powers
>/x/ becomes the magicians
/pol/ gets meme magic, fits their whole "ebin master manipulator" character to a t.
I love /aco/ so much. I used to browse /d/ every day for the rare Western toons, but now that /aco/ exists I haven't been on /d/ once.
Apparently there's some drama because I'm not the only one who feels like this?
I didn't know /pol/ considered themselves manipulators. Don't they always complain about how the Jews are manipulative?
I came here to post something similar to this
>I didn't know /pol/ considered themselves manipulators. Don't they always complain about how the Jews are manipulative?
/pol/ has a very high opinion of their board's ability to influence world politics.
/h/ and /d/ What the fuck do I get?
>/pol/fag detected
Veeky Forums
>Obama: I'm sorry, Mr. Putin. I would sign the peace treaty, but... The Secret Service here, they say that on this website, those faggots have been saying you're "a Jewish shill".
I wonder who's behind that post...
/int/ gets to speak in tongues and have diplomancy
Veeky Forums is hyper intelligence
/vp/ gets their own pokemon of choice, barring legendaries. But they also get the pokeball technology
/a/ is able to do anything if they train hard enough at it
/k/ can seemigly spawn any weapon out of nowhere if it can reasonably fit in their clothing/closets/bags. This includes ammo for said weapons
/h/ has the power of not living alone with their new sexy waifu
/y/ is the same as above, but with husbando
/e/ you turn into a girl yourself, and THEN get the waifu
/out/ you become a druid
Veeky Forums become batman
/news/ become floridaman
/v/ can learn to do anything, provided they murder enough people to get the exp first
/mlp/ gets magic
Oh man, imagine superhumans flocking to Donald Trump's banner. Like at the convention, a guy with immense geokinetic abilities shows up and goes:
> "I AM 'BARRIER'! I AM AN AMERICAN! I SUPPORT TRUMP! AND I WILL BUILD THE WALL FOR YOU!"
Or people laying waste to ISIS and teleporting refugees back to their homeland en masse. Shit would be bananas.
I'm from /jp/.
what superpower do I get?
I have constant Veeky Forums and /u/ tabs open, hmm...
Wizard with a specialisation in reality warping or creation of what wasn't there?
Heavy /u/sers would be able to manifest their delusions or something to do with having their dreams affect or tell the future.
You turn into an Internet kami and are charged with protecting the web.
That or you become hyper-competent at mastering hobbies, trivia and languages.
I tought I could get danmaku
>Pt2
/an/ also become druids, obviously these are the more common animal/shifter druids with /out/ being terrain/elemental
/asp/ learn a legendary martial art thats powered by being overly-dramatic
/i/ and /ic/ both can create real matter from their art. /ic/ is more detailed and stonger, but requires more effort. While /i/ is quicker but more crude
/trv/ gains teleportation
/sp/ can summon each other at any moment to make a riot at any given time, yet dissipate at will and not be charged with legal penalties
/hist/ become time travelers, but no one is sure if they can actually "change" anything
Veeky Forums can take in information at a hyper accelerated rate. This is actually a curse.
/soc/ becomes attractive
/mu/ manipulates sound waves
/diy/ can build literally anything out of anything else regardless of physics or reason. The strength of it is a function of how much time, money, and ducktape they are given beforehand.
/po/, paper ninjas
/r/ cannot be said "no" to
/vr/ - the ability to transform tech into older versions, with a mere touch they can turn LCD displays into CRTs, BluRays into VHS tapes (with the same storage capacity, somehow) and so on. Though that's a nice ability for a retro connoisseur on its own, they are also capable of using old gaming accessories in the physical dimension - the Zapper actually shoots lightning, the Power Glove gives them super strength and they can use the Gameboy Camera to briefly freeze time. Their weakness is modern videogames, being in the vicinity of anything newer than 2000 saps away their magical powers.
>/v/ can learn to do anything, provided it has nothing to do with videogames
fixed
I figured /hist/ would gain post-cognition (seeing things that have happened) and /r/ would gain targeted omniscience (ask them where to find something and they'll tell you)
>Ctrl+f+/toy/
>No results
It ain't easy.
I guess the only thing I can think of is animating the inanimate?
/a/ becomes little magical girls
Veeky Forums becomes wizards
/tv/ becomes respected kino reviewers
I frequent all three of these boards equally (I sometimes ironically parse /pol/ too ), so what superpower do I get
You become a... little magical wizard girl kino reviewer with a hint of racism?
>/pol/
Ability to detect the ethnicity of an individual by hearing or reading about them
>Veeky Forums
Ability to strangle the authors of poorly written craigslist ads Vader style
>/k/
Ability to survive without any source of sustenance so long as they have an SKS with them and are within a wooded area
>/r9k/
Gain an immunity to suicide as well as a compulsion to commit suicide
>/b/
Explosive diarrhea. Literally.
>Veeky Forums becomes wizards
>not r9k
REEEEEEEEE
/h/:power of tentacles and turns into a 14 year old girl.
/d/ is the same but with more weirder fetish
found the /pol/ack
>/r9k/
>wizards
They obviously become what they desire the most
comfy
...
/int/ know all languages including dead ones and are experts in all cultures
/pol/ become the ideal image of an Aryan man as imagined by the nazis and are able to hold amazing speeches
Veeky Forums become wizards
/b/ become that chaos creature which I'd rather not name
/r9k/ become actual depressive robots
REEE
r9k becomes comfy
r9k all turn into pepes, establish a community and chase out any normies while crying REEEEEEE
All of which are fatasses.
So I'm a female chaos creature wizard thing, neat.
>/r9k/
...
That argument can be applied to literally every meme ever
your using meme X, I don't like X, therefore that's why no one likes you
/k/
> finally gets PTSD with out the glory and respect of people who got it from a war.
>but their nuggets and sks's never need to be reloaded if they praise the /k/ube hard enough
You're a druid or a ranger
/a/ disappears.
People theorize that /a/ finally was able to go to the 2D world.
The sudden Increase in Isekai anime and manga its a indirect clue to this.
/jp/ disappears.
Is in gensokyo being food for youkai
>implying that his point is wrong
>Ability to detect the ethnicity of an individual by hearing or reading about them
You can already kind of do that for the most part, unless you mean have an innate understanding of their precise genealogy.
See, you think that, but you'll be shocked by the amount of posts you disagree with which weren't, in fact, made by Jews.
No, no, meme magic is [s4s] territory
>/tv/
>not Big Guys/CIA
>not delusional elitist morons
Guess I can finally make /po/wer armor now AND be a ninja.
Yeah, but your /po/wer armor will be flimsy as shit.
Haha good joke
Not exactly surprising, given that heightened self-importance is at the core of paranoia. A paranoid is fundamentally someone who believes that they matter so much that entire conspiracies exist for the sole purpose of interfering with their lives. /pol/ has a boardwide case of this, thinking that everyone from the NSA to the Jews to the lizardmen have nothing better to do than to follow their meme threads and send countless "shills" to deceive them. Going from there to believing that their stupid uneducated opinions can decide the fate of nations (because otherwise, why would everyone want to follow them?) is a very short road.
/a/ would finally get what they want and become magical little girls
/v/ would have the ability to suck the fun out of anything
/b/ would just become walking tumors
>/b/ would just become walking tumors
Deadpool?
That's Veeky Forums
just. Wizards.
Who would be?