So most of the regiment is on currently on shore leave upon the tropical world known as Alshaeri. While the Herald is repaired... What could possibly go wrong?
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1d4Chan: 1d4chan.org
Steam Group: steamcommunity.com
FAQ:
>What the fuck is this?
Somewhat a campaign of crack-infused free-form roleplay in the grim darkness of the far future.
>When do you guys make these threads?
Usually mondays at 4PM GMT, but they sometimes extend to Tuesdays if we got caught in the middle of something when the thread died and it was too late to make another one the same day.
>Can I join in?
Sure, just think of a character and have fun, you can find most info in 1d4chan albeit it's ussually a little bit out of date in comparison to where the threads are.
>Is there any requirement in character creation.
Not really, we've had Xeno infiltrators, Chaos infiltrators, Villains, Heroes, Normal Guardsmen, Crazed Guardsmen, Assassins, Psykers, Space Marines, Inquisitors, Squats... just think whathever and join the fun.
>Is it allowed to have more than a single character?
Yes as long as you don't use it to powerplay.
>So how you guys do the playan'?
We tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, but nothing is set in stone.
We tend to use greentexts for describing a character's actions, but again nothing is set in stone.
Use d20s for combat checks and d100s for other things you want to roll, higher Is better.
It's important to know that the regiment is now in the employ of a radical Ordo Xenos Inquisitor, with influence from an Ordo Malleus Inquisitor and under the watch of an Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor. Yes we've been through a lot of shit.
Inquisitorial Penal Regiment Veeky Forums: Greenskin beaches Edition
>The out of uniform Co could be found casually relaxing upon a white beach chair underneath a multicolored umbrellas. An ice cold glass full of blue Mehgona juice placed firmly in his hand, as he stares out at the ocean water before him.
Honestly, it just doesn't get better than this... though I do wonder what the others are doing...
>trying to hack security can only access pictures of cats
>and apparently a stick
Where is everyone currently?
sadly I'm the only one here yet T_T I also started this two hours late so... yeah theres that
Currently I'm waiting to see if my Warp-Jump roll in the Pathetic Marines thread was enough to get us away from the Throne of Skulls
Anything could happen in the next half hour!
First company of the pathetic marines, reporting in ! My honor guard Brother Redshire tried to hack through your security but only accessed pictures of what he called "Cats and a stick". WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ? And also where is my bike, it seems I shipped it around here by accident.
I was just wondering where the ship everyone in these threads is on currently is as well.
currently in orbit getting minor repairs after out threads version of redshirt tried to use the AI for the ships toilet paper dispenser to kill everyone on-board. Most of the regiment is now on the beaches relaxing.
>The young CO would throw his drink Into the air at the sound of the obnoxious voice. Causing the glass, and all its contents to smash against the space marines helmet.
EMPERORS HOLY BALLS!?! ARE WE UNDER ATTACK!?!
>The man, wearing only a bathing suit, would glance up upon the space marine.
Uhmmmmm hello...?
serves you right!
Hello, good sir, as I said before, I expect you to tell me what the hell is going on with this filthy cat photographies. And also to tell me where is my bike.
In the meantime, I shall proceed to land our pathetichawk near your location
GREETERLINGS!
Feck off you dumbass!
>teleports in
>sees the situation
Well how bout that, things went better than expected. And they went right where they're supposed to, convenient.
>takes off cloak
>he wears a black curiass of carapace material, with Inquisitorial sigil
>is large and heavily muscled
>wears red bandanna of Catachan
>stalks toward the beach
>gives up on security and looks at pics of cats
What cat photographs are you talking about m'lord? As far as I know, it's only myself, and the men and woman of my regiment here.
>The look upon the mans face would indicate he has no idea what in the hell the space marine is talking about. Seeing as how he is on a beach. With not a single cognitor in sight. Let alone even a town upon n the small island.
>suddenly a breakthrough! Redshirt accesses the server that has fallen under his dominion...to find terabytes of cats
>suddenly , an ork falls from the skies , smashing right on top of the shadowy figure
>as the figure looks up , he sees the Bastion of the Pathetic Marines Hover in the Stratosphere
>Looks up.
Who the fuck put that there!?
We did! We Warp-Jumped Here!
>hacks the bastions security cameras stares at a man in a redshirt
>mumbles
i hate warp fuckery
>kicks the ork in the shins
>punches in ork equivalent to solar plexus
Thronedammit! They got infiltrated by orks too? Why am I not surprised!
hey we just came from the actual fucking throne of skulls and stole some stuff (i threw a stick at Khorne)
>Falls after the ork, landing near the Shadowy Figure
My brothers! We have lived to fight another day! Now then, where are we? And why are there Guardsmen everywhere?
>slices ork's throat
Well, that's somewhat of a relief...
Get down here, Space Marine, I have dispatches for your chapter.
>Grabs the CO by his shoulders, shaking him pathetically
Let alone the damn photographs, tell me where's my bike ! I'm pretty sure it was shipped here ! And also, here's the ship
>Points at the Bastion in the sky
What the fuck
>shrugs
I came here for my bike, Chapter Master, these damn excuses for a servitor we have had it shipped here after I sent it to mars for repairs and enhancements, looks like it disturbed the warp drive from Bastie.
...oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooookkkk-thump!
>faceplants in the sand.
what you mean the bumper pattern servitors?
>tumbles from the sky rolling and twisting before landing sure footedley on the planet
>BROTHERS WHERE ARE WE? I WAS SO CLOSE TO ERADICATING THE DAEMONS INFESTING THE ENGINES.
Hmm, very well. Brothers, find out what is happening here and report as soon as you have any answers.
because , when we received a status report to our wap engines , it first was
"Engine 1 is ready.
Engine 2 is covered in grey paint.
Engine 3 is making strange noises.
Engine 4 is arguing with the techmarines."
later , we figured that engine 3 might not be an engine , but maybe orks in a cardboard box making brum-brum noises , soon to be confirmed by the following status report
">Engine 1 is ready.
>Engine 2 is covered in grey paint and blood.
>Engine 3 is screaming "Waaagh!" at the top of its lungs.
>Engine 4 is drinking oil margaritas and singing with the techmarines."
and later , the following happened
"And suddenly , engine 3 bursts into a squad of Orks Boyz and A NOB , all screaming "WAAAGH!!" At the top of their lungs at the advancing Daemons and Not-that-Surprised Space Marines
"
so thats the story of random orks aboard our ship
I DONT KNOW!!! I CAME HERE AFTER MAKING LUNCH TO THIS!!!
>The man would violently be shocked. Not sure what the hell is going on!
I- Don't - Know- Sir!
>Pops into existence buried up to his neck in the sand with a sandcastle on his head.
HELP ME BROTHERS I CANNOT SEE!
I found my way out of the bastion! Excellent truly I am the most adept of all the blind scouts of the forth company!
I shall scout out the area at once and come back bearing maps
> begins fumbling about the place
So that's what we're doing now. Alright!
>Falls after the Master of Sanctity.
>Looks around.
Wait. We're not in the warp, so that's good, I guess?
Looks like you handled it as well as you were able. Good job...
You the chapter master of this bunch?
Rolled 3 (1d10)
I SHALL ATTEMPT TO AID YOU!
Thank The Emperor for that, if we'd stayed there any longer the engine room would of been overrun. Now where exactly is 'here'?
...I have a vague feeling of unfinished business with you...eh whatever
>Update
yep , but it sint exactly holy terra either
NAY OUR CHAPTER MASTER IS THE MOST SAINTLY HEAVY BOLTER GUY.
I AM PART OF THE GRINDERS CHARGING DEVASTATOR COMPANY.
Sir as far I have known you could never see
We have arrived to your assistance we are pathetic marines the worst of the emperor's finest!
I am Chapter Master of the Pathetic Marines! Now, where are we and what EXACTLY is going on on this planet?
YES, THESE ONES. Next time I'll put you in charge.
>stops shaking the CO
Oh, fine. Help me find it then ! They must not be too far from here, I sense it ! Where are the vehicles parked, in this place ?
>Invites the CO to show him the way, while reajusting his ever-unfitting powerfist
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>Wiggles pathetically
Was that an insult to our gloriously pathetic chapter? you wanna go? Do you wanna get knocked out by some angry dude in power armor?
Yeah , me neither
>Sir as far I have known you could never see
THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT.
Besides, that's the kind of joke you make when you can't see anything.
uh why is there a thread? We had on yesterday.
>Picks himself up, spit out enough sand to clean a small shrine complex...and realizes someone is looking directly at the palm of his Gauntlet while fiddling with the controls!
OOK OOK EEK!
Because people wanted a crossover thread I guess.
>smiles slightly
Well, my lord, looks to me like the God-Emperor Himself wills the orders I'm here to pass to you.
>hands over the dataslate
Certain elements of the Inquisition want you to work together with this here Penal Regiment Designation /theta gamma/. They want you to work together where you're needed and just do what you do best. I ain't at liberty to say who these Inquisition elements are, but they do believe in both these groups.
I used to be a part of this outfit myself. You'll find they're easy to work with, mostly.
Well... We usually run threads on Mondays. Almost none of the regulars are even online, let alone in this thread. There could have been some actual planning involved, we do have a Steam group.
This was a horrible idea.
well , the pathetic marines dont , so theres that!
Also , would you mind going off to that steam group and posting about this threads existance?
well it's too late now! Might as well go with it
Im in the steam group they have
No, it's a fine idea. It was actually brought up yesterday that we should do this, and I agree. It's just, we have an over-arcing story that we could have worked it into. I like the Pathetic Marines, and I think a crossover should be more well thought out.
I'll post in the group but I don't know what good it'll do.
Very well than mortal! As much as I distrust the Inquisition, we are always ready to help servants of the Emperor in need!
Yeah, this kind of just sprang up. If anyone can alert your Steam group that this is going down, that would help a lot.
RETREAT TO THE BASTION WE NEED TO ASSESS DAMAGES.
>implying our warp-jumping that occured in our thread wasn't an elaborately thought-out plan to create a crossover
I do not know brother, if this is the will of the Inquisition, it is hardly a good idea to just leave. On the other hand this sand is probably going to get stuck in my arm servos
Maybe you guys can join us on the patheticvthread today instead ?
Ok ook OOK-OK okk-ook, O'k /ok-ook-okk/ ok ook ook ook ok-okk ook ook-okk-ook ook ook! Ok ook ook ook, Ok ookk oook OOK okk-ok ok ook OOK ok okk-ook-ok.
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>I fall from the Bastion, using my rifle to pathetically guide my fall
rolling to see how well I guide myself
And what can we do to serve the will of the never closing eye today ? Could you be more specific ?
Alrighty, I'll just take my leave then.
...oh, and your heavy bolter is on fire.
Alrighty, I'll just take my leave then.
...oh, and your heavy bolter is on fire.
>it only makes it worse
>I send myself into a spiral as I approach the sand
>over all vox channels, a man can be heard screaming.
MORE fucking Space Marines?! I fucking HATE Space Marines! Entitled cunts! What the fuck do they want?!
>WAKES UP
>STARTS SCREAMING LOUDLY
D-DID I TELEPORT?!
> returns with pathetic quality maps
I am glad you took the time to say that twice our listening skills are sometimes pathetic
That it is my friend, that it is.
Brother! Curl up into a ball to soften the impact! We will help you once you have landed!
I ain't gonna bore you to death with all the big picture details, just do your thing and everything will fall into place.
Oh Throne, Gary is becoming a Slater like figure
Just passing by to leave a message because I am busy and won't be playing today.
You guys should have made a warning that this was going to happen X day because no regulars are here and probably most have made plans like I did.
You guys really should retry it this next monday.
>broadcasts directly to the Chapter Master
Alright, fucko, this is the Emperor's Inquisition! I demand to know what the fuck you're doing here!
>EXTREMELY LOUD SCREAMING
WHY ARE WE HERE?!
Relax, Laroque, they're supposed to be here. I just gave them their orders. You should have a copy sent to you.
Chaptermaster, the little man asks for the reason of our presence, may I explain it again to him ?
Well that was unnecessarily vague. Also we should probably do something about you Heavy Bolter, my Lord.
>Looks up into the sky and see falling and sighs heavily
I don't even
>whips out Fang knife faster than Malathonian pit viper
THONEABOVE!!
Oh, it's just you, Hank. Don't fuckin scare me like that. Glad to see you're still alive. In case you didn't hear, you're gonna be working with those Space Marines for awhile.
>looks at a random terminal
>gets feeling of immense power
>walks off to find ice cream as this is apparently a holiday planet
I choose to ignore your tone for now, witch hunter, but know that I may not do so again. In any case, we are here to assist any and all warriors loyal to the Emperor, in whatever capacity that may require.
RELAX?! THERE'S SP-
>he receives a message
Uh, one minute...
>reads it over
Oh, fucking Hell. I'm going to have to report this to Wellesley, ain't I? Shit.
>glares at the Captain
I'm large for a regular human, fuck you!
>mumbles to himself about height
>licks his lips
Assist, eh? You guys? Y'know, I'm not unfamiliar with your outfit. You have a worse track-record than I do, and that's saying something buddy.
IF YOU DO NOT SHOW RESPECT TO THOSE MILLENNIA OLDER THAN YOU, YOU MAY FIND OUT HOW MANY USES A MULTIMELTA HAS LITTLE MAN. IF YOUR SUPERIOR WISHES TO TALK THEN HE WILL DO SO HIMSELF.
S-..Space Marines?! Sir..I...wh...why..
>nervous sweat
>looks at the dreadnought with his eyes narrowed
Listen, Grampa, I've punch daemons bigger than you in the face! I don't need this shit! I'm already in a shitty mood!
a track record may we see it it's just we have been through warp a little and it has effected time so there might be things that haven't happened yet and also what is this heresy about the primarchs being dead?
Bastie if these guys aren't willing to be civil...eat their ship.
Insult my Battle-Brother again little mortal, and we'll see how well your mood improve with a Relic Blade in your sternum.
>smirks to himself about Ron's height
Nah, you can if you want to, but she should have been notified too. Guess you might as well though, no telling how long the message will take to go through.
Seconded
AND I LIVED TO HEAR THE EMPERORS VOICE, WHO AMONGST US IS TRULY CHOSEN BY HIM. I WISH YOU NO ANIMOSITY HOWEVER I RECENTLY FELL IN BATTLE SO I AM A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE AND HOPE YOU WILL TAKE THAT INTO ACCOUNT.
Rolled 99 (1d100)
Oh, you're familiar with our history ? FINE, I shall now go and fetch my bike, average-sized person, I'll see you later, once you've dealt with the broomstick stuck in your...
>the sound of the captain's voice fades pathetically as he goes towards the place he thinks his bike is
Rolling to find my bike
Because the Big -][- says so, son. Don't worry, it's a privilege to work with Astartes, and you'll do just fine with them.
...I think.
Thirded
The Inquisition!?
>whispers
Battle-brothers, don't let them know that our Bastion is filled with xenotech, has a C'tan Shard in his power core and is probably controlled by an A. I.
And that we've seen Khorne with our bare eyes.