Your party meets in a bathhouse

>Your party meets in a bathhouse

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>elf drops the soap

>dwarf bends over and wiggles his but seductively

>anal train starts on dwarf
>afterwards elf thanks dwarf for helping him pick up the soap
>dwarf didn't know there was any soap

youtube.com/watch?v=ZPllpzxmM5k&feature=youtu.be&t=134
2:14 if the time doesn't skip automatically

Not inappropriate for a game set in a fantasy equivalent of Rome.

Throg does not bathe due to fear of water born through childhood trauma.
Throg also will not remove armor for another two months because of religious reasons related to the time of year.
Throg suggests that a better place to meet would be library, or perhaps marketplace where Throg must go anyway to purchase aromatics to freshen up armor.

>stepping stools are brought in to compensate for height differences

Is this a mixed bath?

Is it a mixed party?

The half-orc is.

Are yours not?

He'll have to go to the lower life section.

You're in a bath house. That's how the module begins. You don't get a choice. Why did you make an aquaphobe when you KNEW you'd be near water?

>chaotic evil
So, he just tries to rape everyone and/or gets smited while the paladins go apeshit?

Or are they throwing him into the waste water because he's a mongrel and his parents race traitors?

No, we only play girls.

There was a typo in the text, I thought we were meeting at Beth's house.

Would a paladin bathe with his holy symbol?

You mean the thing in his ass?

We are. Beth's house is a bathhouse, you dolt.

So like this?

Gayer.

Like this?

Sorry sir, WotC here. We made a slight typo in the handbook copy you've got. It's not /pol/adin, it's paladin, with the "a".

It's a fucking orc.
Morality is an objective part of the setting. Orcs happen to be evil.

If you don't want to get your ass smited, get out of the fucking bath house where civilized people live.

Orcs are barely capable of not attacking even their own people. Do you really think their shit would be tolerated anywhere else?

That's closer, but still not capturing the full level of raging homo.

D&D half-orcs don't have alignment restrictions. They are like humans.

Nowadays orcs being always evil or not depends on the setting, but half-orcs not being any more evil than humans isn't a recent development.

You'd know this if you played D&D. And you were the first to bring D&D alignments into the thread so don't pin this on someone else.

>Usually evil
>Usually
>USUALLY

Jesus, I hope you're just shitposting. If you're talking demons, yeah, it becomes objective. But orcs are "evil" because of their culture, which is, well, fucked up. Otherwise, they have INT, SAG and CAR scores, so they can choose for themselves.
Also yes, morality becomes objective after level 5 (which is a fucking lot compared to a standard CR 1/4 Orc Warrior), when your aura starts to be found by Individuation spells.
If you followed the goddamned book, you'd see that the Paladin, detecting evil on random orcs, will usually find nothing.

Doesn't get more gay than this.

>Detect Alignment
>Curved like a scimitar it was!

Yeah, probably about that gay.

>And you were the first to bring D&D alignments into the thread so don't pin this on someone else.
You are the guy who instantly started slinging insults because his interpretation of a setting wasn't being followed.

>nowadays
I don't care about nowadays. Modern D&D is fucking dumbed down bullshit.
My Orcs are objectively evil.

Stupid rules. My rules of absolute and objective morality make for a far more compelling story! It totally worked with Tolkien!

Tolkien's Orcs are literally corrupted elves who were evil by their very nature.

...

>My orcs are objectively evil
>My orcs are
>My orcs
who cares what YOUR orcs are?

Yeah. That, like, was the joke.

Stop being so whiny.

I made 2 posts, besides this one: and . I never insulted you. I pointed out you were wrong.

>Modern D&D is fucking dumbed down bullshit.
Like I said, half-orcs were never any more evil than humans.

For AD&D: ddo.com/forums/showthread.php/278379-Half-Orcs-Dragon-62-by-Roger-Moore

They have been a player race since 2nd edition AD&D.

He was being more flippant than whinu

FUCK YOU

wew lad

>Lots and lots of slipping

This is actually where my party typically meets to relax in between quests

I like how everyone is conveniently covering their crotches, and then there's that one guy in the upper right corner showing off his dick.

...

He is so hung he made everyone else feel self-conscious.

No nigga that is a chode. Look closely.

Imagine how small everyone else must be.

What about this?

Cute boys aren't gay, they're perfectly straight.

he's flacid, brodette.
It's normal.

>Go to bathhouse
>Men on one side
>Women and qt boys on the other
It's how my party handles it at least

>bathhouses can only exist in rome

>implying I implied that
>implying implications
My current game is literally set in a fantasy version of Rome.
Thus, making it appropriate.
Did I ever say it was NOT appropriate in other settings?

I was thinking of starting a Dark Heresy campaign that way. The PCs arrive individually after being invited to an expensive bath house by someone. They are under instructions to clean themselves before meeting the person who invited them.

They get ritually cleaned by the bathhouse attendants. Then, wearing only a towel, they are led into a room with:
- All the gear they brought with them carefully laid out. It has been thoroughly cleaned.
- One of the attendants wearing only a towel and Inquisitorial Rosette.

The Inquisitor inducts all acolytes that way. Partly for the ritual cleaning of their souls, partly to send the message that the acolytes shouldn't keep any secrets from the Inquisitor.

>Your party are all separately invited to a meeting in the sauna

>your party meets in a fencing hall located on the lower back floor of a house of ill repute

>You enter the bathous, laying your weapons and armor to the side as you grab a towl, settling in a steaming pool of water, amongst the rest of the women meandering about.
>As you rest, your eyes seem to grow heavier, the women around you seem to swirl and sway in your vision, seeing nothing but curled grins marking their faces
>You wake up nearly a day later, in an old, cracked, concrete indentation in the ground
>The old walls of the bathhouse loom around, the roof gone, as the overgrown walls seem ready to fall over, forests replace the city that once nestled around the building
>Your gear is gone, the only thing you notice about your surrounding is an odd echo, barely audible, of a laughing female.

but seductively what? I must know what happens next

I fail to see the distinction. Either it's gay or it's not gay. What is the metric by which you determine degrees of gayness?

B-B-B-But I was a plate-armored paladin...

Nice railroading, GM, you didn't even give us a chance to see through the illusion.

Bloody bathhouse kitsune.
Didn't even leave a towel. Oh what a merry time I'll have explaining this to my superiors. Perhaps I'll just tell them I was ambushed.

>your party meets at the gambling hall

I'm pretty sure he misread your post. I know I did until I read it two more times. Double negatives, man.

There wasn't a lot of sex at bathhouses. It was really more for relaxing and politicking. There might have been specific bathhouse/brothels but those would be rare since most of them are state run and they're not going to degrade the reputation of the place by letting people fuck in it all the time.

>Your party meets at the ferry launch

>Double negatives, man.
Yeah, I always wonder what "we don't need no education" was supposed to mean.

In my language double negatives are often used as just "no", but english is supposed to take it seriously.

>They have been a player race since 2nd edition AD&D.
2E was the one that removed them as a core player race - AD&D 1E had them in the fuckin' Player's Handbook.

There's no particular alignment restriction on them, but they've only got unlimited advancement in Assassin so there's a certain incentive to go Evil.

Also halflings and humans are the only other race that are even neutral in attitude towards them - elves and half-elves dislike the fuckers, while dwarves and gnomes start up the race war.

Looking through the Monster Manual, I guess they aren't neccessarily half-human either. Orc-goblins and orc-hobgoblins are mentioned before orc-humans, and the only big restriction seems to be that they can't crossbreed with elves. Probably because of the whole racial hatred thing those two have going between them.

Yes.

Learn to write, faggot. Also, bathhouses are perfectly fine in Arabian settings, too.

>Rip van Winkle in a bathhouse

Double negatives are taken seriously in so-called "proper english". Improper, or slang, english, like "we don't need no education" are generally just taken as "no".
So "we don't need no education" is equal to "we don't need education". The improper grammar and refusal of education are likely intended to be ironic.

>the DM wants to get punched

How is that wanting to get punched? Seems like an honest setup to some quest he'd planned out.

>Party meets in a charnel house
medicine student looking for research materials
graverobber picking parting gifts of the dead
"deceased" con artist escaping wrath of the people he tricked
and a pair of drunken hobos who though it's as good a place to sleep as any

...

>missing the joke
How new.

I'm dense, what joke, quads man?

>half of the party are patrons of the bathhouse
>the other half are the bath prostitutes the first half hired while in the bathhouse

That makes sense. Public bathing is a common fixture for well traveled cities that play host to wanderers with meager purses. It's also a wonderful place for socialization and those of common trades to share their tales.

Kinsey Scale, motherfucker. Edumacate yourself.

>It's a bathhouse/hot springs episode
So far I've only had one game that DOESN'T have one of these and I'm intensely thankful for that.

user's implying that the situation is the GM's magical realm.

Cause user's a faggot.

They're really great. Nothing bonds a group of characters better than getting naked together and washing themselves.

>washing themselves
>not each other

There are gayness levels. You must have bad gaydar. Some gays are super subtle, while others are flaming.

Well in the case of Throg you might have to get forceful.

Is he ticklish or something?

>Tickling the barbarian

Can't I be flaming and heterosexual? I think alcohol brings out that side of some people.

Depends. With a high enough charisma, you could friendzone a legion of gay men who know they don't have a chance but will still do whatever you say because their feelings for you are real and tangible and shit.

Being Really gay or straight has nothing to do with physical appearance or charisma. It's neurological, though it often influences one's appearance.
Someone can be really gay but he looks and sounds straight.
Being closeted can cause people to act flamboyantly gay to make up for lost time.

>your party meets in a bathhouse
> "asshole dudebro" orcs come in after you, hitting on female PC's, implying the male PC's have small dicks, towel snapping people.... etc.
So is this a weird start to an adventure, or is it OK?

I was talking more about a social manipulation take on charisma. Hoped it'd be obvious from the context.

There's actually lots of what said. And plenty of drinking.

Shit's fun, yo.

>Someone can be really gay but he looks and sounds straight.

My buddy CJ. 6'2" shit-kickin' redneck, is a big fan of step-side trucks, shootin' deer, outsized belt buckles, and sex with men. The only thing he loves more than ridin' four wheelers in the mud is poundin' twinks in the mud. Most people don't have the first clue until he introduces his boyfriend.

Flamboyancy tends to be a sign of someone whose self-identity is gay first and then some other stuff.

>you and your buddies stand up to him and are humiliated in front of the hot elves
>now you have to win back your mojo by defeating him at sportsball

>he actually likes you and only bullies you because he thinks he needs to look like the alpha for you to like him

>while in the sauna, you stumble into his corpse disguised by the steam and are tasked with finding the murderer
>the victim was an asshole so just about everyone had a motive
>because of the steam to hide in just about everyone had the opportunity

You can take it in so many directions. I'd go with it.

Do me a favor, and kill him and yourself, you dumb faggot.