Dicknames

So my players' characters are attending an orgy next session as part of a plan to thwart a cult of Malcanthet, and in order to keep it from getting too Magical Realm I'm going to try and keep them laughing the whole time. To that end, I'm writing up a table of Veeky Forums-themed nicknames that attendees will have for their dicks, and I need help filling it out.

>Trouser Titan
>Jean Giant
>Slacks Cyclops
>Thrum Worm
>Pocket Pyrohydra
>Culottes Colossus

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timeglider.com/timeline/194b572e19fd461b
youtube.com/watch?v=nGRPFUYUUdQ
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Dick McLargehuge

>USS She's one of ours, sir!

The White Mamba
Anus Admiral
Clam Bait
The Rod Of Wonder
The Penetrator
Radical Rodney

Oh my god I can actually contribute to this. Granted a lot of these are for asses...
>Rump Ranger
>Ass Assassin
>Fanny Phantom
>Mister Fister
>Anal Avenger
>Derriere Debonair
Off the top of my head

The Surprisingly Movable Rod.

Flesh Scepter of hardness (+1)
Empire-making kit
The Kraken
Omnipotent Pork Sword.

>The Axis of the Planes
>Wand of Enlarge Person
>Staff of Authority
>Delver
>Bigby's Prominent Member ("Assisted" by a very embarrassed court mage)
>Shieldhanger
>Paul
>The Greater Good
>Divine Interjection

Hah

>the allfather
>the bane of feminism
>slippin' jimmy's trumph card
>Old one-eye
>The 1/18 finished flesh golem
>Masterblaster's hose of endless predistigation
>Mordekainen's plot hole filler
>the rod of rods
>staff of pierce unfathomable depths

Biggus Dickus

>To that end, I'm writing up a table of Veeky Forums-themed nicknames that attendees will have for their dicks, and I need help filling it out.

The Excavator.

It reaches places others can not.

What types of affects would magical scarring have? Is it possible to dissect a person with spells?

>Wand of Enlarge Person
More like Enlarged Wand of Person, amirite

Nobody remembered the Lance of Longanus?

AND ITS NAME IS JOHN PENA!!!

>Throat Scratcher
>Cherry Popper
>The Two Hander
>Bigger Then Yours
>The Beef Injector

Greetings!
Stay a while and listen, as I tell the tale of the time I placed my Staff of Kings in her Herodric Cube.

Giant-Sized Man-Thing

Here you go lads, for your education

timeglider.com/timeline/194b572e19fd461b

I always said that I was going to do an erotic novel and repeatedly refer to the man's genitals as a "wooly thoctar" after the Magic card of the same name.

I pray to god that you are in the wrong thread, user.

>dingle-diddler
>knob knocker
>lance of power
>spelunking staff
>captain's head
>rump humper
>mr. willy
>manwagon
>butter churn
>repopulators
>ball-and-rod gag
>milk shaft
>steering rod
>steer rod
>devil's horn
>fag choker
>paint-it-brown
>milk for cookies
>cherry picker
>pork poker
>long pig
>squealer
>fuckle chucker
>salad tosser
>love gun
>glue gun
>stick shift
>towering monument to masculinity
>concentrated mandom
>crotch stuffings
>garden hose (to water her lawn)
>french kisser
>falsetto switch
>vaulting pole
>RAM expander
>manual interfacer
>prayer staff
>party favors
>blood reservoir
>cake froster
>taming rod
>beat stick
>reverse vagina
>hole-in-one
>one-in-hole
>whore hopper
>adulterer
>daddy issue
>blow pop
>super soaker
>pump action
>rib tickler
>belly bonker
>gal mount
>riding shaft
>'lil boner
>pickle poker
>tresses tosser
>invader
>pink panther
>barrel banger
>inside toy
>goldie locker
>the consumater
>marriage consultant
>divorce consultant
>sex doctor
>dr. feelgoods
>spit roast
>kebab
>pants monkey
>chubber rubber
>gargle chute
>mouthwash
>man milker
>suction switch
>dental paint
>large header
>labia cleaver
>hedge trimmer
>mound duster
>bum stuffer
>the palidan's arse stick
>blade of fill wounds
>cupid's arrow

Best episode of MST3K ever

Meat Blunderbuss

If you didn't want it to get magical realmy, you wouldn't have sent the PCs to an orgy devoted to the queen of succubi.

This seems appropriate
youtube.com/watch?v=nGRPFUYUUdQ

> Matrimonial peacemaker

>Loadbearer
>The Sexcalibur
>Milkfinger
>The Sperminator
>The Niggermake
>Dick Masterson
>The Baby Trumpet

Mace of Axe Wounds