How can i abuse mage hands?

How can i abuse mage hands?

>insert masturbation joke

Find some young female peasants and go ham

Surreptitious handjobs while engaged in diplomacy. Works wonders for distracting your opponent.

Just use your imagination senpai, use it to open doors from a distance for one

Holding gross things. Shaking hands with gross things. Poking annoying things. Anything you can do with your normal hands, but that you don't actually want to.

Shove them in enemy throats and use 'em to damage cartilage. Or put it in other painful orifices. Though throat is more vital for most of creatures you'll meet...

inside bodily cavities

If you are a Mage Hand that has suffered abuse please contact the MSPCS and report the caster responsible.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
You do not have to suffer in silence.

People tend to fumble their diplomacy checks against you if a magic finger is giving them a colonoscopy.

Long range trap disarming. Slap pitfalls, pull tripwires, open doors and open chests from a safe distance etc.

Use it to cheat at gambling.

What does it even feel like to get touched by a Mage Hand? It's a hand-shaped magical force field, right? So if it touches a person, they'll feel the pressure, but not the texture or warmth (temperature difference) or whatever of the thing that's touching them. It must be a very disconcerting experience.

But isn't the texture just caused by the pressure of some shape being pushed against you?

One of these days I'll get around to playing that character idea of a wizard who blew his hands off with magical fireworks and now Raymans around with gloves over mage hands that hover at his wrists until he sends them forward.
It would certainly impress me as a generic peasant seeing the wizard's hands detach and start making tea across the room.

I just play it as an especially weak telekinesis and avoid the sillier interactions of floating fingers

Hot damn, I love that idea. With a little houseruling (give up two spell slots and take a Dex penalty for fine actions [since you have no sense of feel] to make the mage hands permanent and stronger than the normal spell, maybe?) you've got a solid character concept.

I figure there's some kind of focus on the wrist stumps too, possibly the gloves to keep the spells up permanently.
Maybe 're-spending' the spell would temporarily amp up the permanent mage hands, not sure.

I thought Mage Hands was a cantrip.

>Apply 10 pounds of pressure to expand the female diplomat's vagina
>Suddenly she agrees with everything you have to say

>the diplomat then calls magical coercion and the diplomatic talks grind to a halt
>all because you just had to let the wizard try

>the diplomat then calls magical coercion
>Implying she can still form coherent sentences other than feeble pleas for the pain to end

"What do you mean we're under arrest for torturing the diplomat?"

And you... don't think a diplomat suddenly collapsing in agony would put a damper on the negotiations?

Push the animals off their pedestal and watch them beg to be eaten

>And you... don't think a diplomat suddenly collapsing in agony would put a damper on the negotiations?
No? Do you mean to say the people in this kingdom DON'T consider torture regular diplomatic procedure? What savages.

Ruin hairdos.

Can't believe no one's come out and said it yet but "in the butt"

Okay dude, even the BBEG isn't THAT evil

i'm trying but the only thing i can think of is fingering random girls, sorry for thinking with my dick

In terms of actual uses, it could be used for stealth as a distraction. You could knock on walls to draw a guards attention away from yourself.

You could also use it to grab small items and pull them to yourself, so if you were in prison you would have the ability to steal the keys.

You could set explosives and trigger them remotely, considering that the mage hand wouldn't be what is attacking.

Several people have already said or allewded to it. Be sure to actually read the thread before you make yourself look retarded.

There's some ways

... How can you NOT abuse mage hands?

It would still be a hassle to cast it every couple of rounds.

Good point. Pretty much everything so far is just what mage hand is for, doing dangerous or inaccessible stuff at a distance.

One thought though; silent near-imperceptible communication. Tapping code on an ally's arm or leg and they tap back.

Instead of turning tricks on the corner for rent money you can do it around the corner, safe from the elements.

So the idea is you have a familiar looking out so you can see what's going on, but you're basically just giving handjobs from the comfort of your own home? I feel like there's better ways to make money with magic, but shit if you're just a non-magic user high elf that only has a cantrip to their name, why not?

How many mage hands can you create? Once a wizard hits epic levels, surely they can just Hand-Spam and grope entire crowds en masse.

It is very hard to. Mage hand can not effect creatures, only objects. Even then it can only effect objects below 5lbs. Mage hand does not impart 5lbs of force, instead it can move objects below that weight.

So you can't push levers attached to larger things, can't roll balls. Also you can not effects objects that are held because that requires targeting a creature, so no lifting coin purses either.

Mage hand is a very limited spell.

You can drop flower pots on people's heads, but only if the flower in question is dead.