"Hey there young peasant, tired of working the land for a pittance until you die?"

>Fucking a casted or sculpted vagina
>Instead of a real one
You're a dwarf, aren't you?

Then they die

Oh good, the backlash against "why doesn't everyone because an adventurer" is here.
Did they mention a shower? If so don't do that.

>waah, traveling is bad, it doesn't have any of the conveniences of a stable life where you don't travel more than 20 km from your home!

Spotted the farmboy who will neither ever amount to anything, nor experience the beauties of life.

Even the fucking nobility has to travel if it wishes to establish its foreign influence.
Even the fucking merchants have to travel if they wish to expand their market.
Even the fucking clerics have to proselytize their faith among the sheep.
Even the fucking military go to war and raid the enemies' territory.

The only person who doesn't have a reason to travel is a fucking farmboy, a paper-pusher or a low-level craftsman of some sort (not a good craftsman, mind you - because he doesn't soak in all those trade secrets from people in other countries). And neither of those jobs will ever amount to anything.

Face it, you are just too incompetent to both make your living AND travel the land.
You can't socialize with people, you don't have a proper skill to offer others so you can make a living, you can't even manage your money properly.

And that's why you defend your cradle so fervently - because you literally cannot live without it, like a fucking baby cannot live without mom's tit.

Of all the things you could have picked to be scared of you picked some very specific scenarios here.

You didn't even mention the ravenous wildlife that can kill peasants with hardly a thought, such as: rats, cats, hawks, wild dogs, a large group of chickens, and anything found in the woods, including the trees.

You didn't mention the inexplicably large numbers of extremely dangerous immortal mages that are constantly trying to destroy everything forever. Nor did you mention the equally inexplicable large number of ancient artifacts whose seals are decaying which will unleash destruction upon the whole of creation.

You didn't even mention the daily toil of simply not being attacked by 1d4 wolves every night you aren't safely in a city. Or the daily toil of attempted robbery by 1d4 wererat rogues within a city.

You have some oddly specific worries sir, ones that seem totally out of touch

>Most of those planets cannot even be landed on

says fucking who? I'd love to fucking explore space.

What's all this about Dwarves loving Gold? We don't love gold. That would be absurd.

...We just tell it that to get it into bed.

Well shit I was going to make a snarky reply saying that most confirmed planets are gas giants and that scientists are starting to think that gas giants are probably more common than others. But then I went looking for a source and I'm completely wrong.

nasa.gov/multimedia/imagegallery/image_feature_2233.html

Turns out rocky planets are the norm.

Not to say most of them are habitable, but they definitely have a surface.

It used to be gas giants if I remember correctly but ya, Surfaces are being found all over the place. I don't even care if they are habitable or not, How fucking cool would it be to land on another one in general?

Based reference, user.

Still can't believe he's gone.

Yeah, the only reason we found so many gas giants (specifically "hot jupiters," gas giants that orbit close to their star) is that they are easier to find than rocky planets. We now think that rocky planets are more common.

>Aqua and Liches

Fixed.

In my experience, most people answer that question in their backstory. I know dead parents and vengeance is cliche, but it works. Trying to lift some terrible curse off yourself works as well, or seeking answers for literally anything that's important to the character and is unresolved. Getting back your kingdom, being honor bound to do something, drawing the short straw for who has to go out and get a replacement water chip, being constantly on the run from powerful enemies, or simply knowing no other way to live than by the sword, the list goes on and on.

>No Eris
>No Megumin
0/10

Eris is a liar and a bitch, and she stuffs.

Megumin is cute but not for sexual.

>Eris is a liar and a bitch
WHAT?! Eris is Best Girl, and Best Goddess!

>"Hey there young peasant, tired of working the land for a pittance until you die?"
>"Why not become a camel salesman? It involves a lot of travel! You like travel, right?"

>Travel around and sell camels
>Live out of a lean-to made from dead dreams, palm leaves, and half-rotted dates
>You have to sleep right next to the camels with an anti-scorpion pillow if you're lucky
>That unwashed camel's butthole keeps farting up your nose at night
>You're wandering around for up to weeks
>Inhaling camel farts nonstop and selling them in the most bizarre places shatters your mind, plus there's literally nobody around for hundreds of camelometers

HERE, YOU WANT BAG OF DATES?! IS FREE!

Megumin is cute and for the best explosive sexual time mate. Lol

My trapdar is off the chart with them.

Eris is a girl bro
Her Human Avatar is also the Thief who is Darkness' Best Friend

Where the fuck is that stated or found out? I've only seen the fucking animu.

In the Light Novels

>Best Goddess
nyet

I will now be fucking looking for those. Thank you.

If you like having a spoiled, shitty ungrateful creature around sure, Then you have chosen the best Goddess.

But user, that image says do not repost.

Praise be to the Goddess of Unknowable Underwear.

Rules were made to be broken.

Look at the camel's back. See that straw?

...

And there? There goes a man with ambition. He'll likely die in some foreign pit, unknown to everyone, but there's a chance he'll be the one in fifty, or one in a hundred, who changes the world itself.

Yeah, you look at those odds and say they're not worth it, but what is the true value of a life, if greatness is not pursued, no matter the cost?

>off by one degree
>end up 100 kilometer's away from destination
>tfw the desert is so big the distance between oases is 5700 miles
>tfw living on dune.

>Aqua
No.

>tfw living on dune.

Might not be so bad if your name is Paul. Is it Paul?

You only meet the ones who come back, and they come back rich.

No, also I failed to convert the units. Shit.

Because people are fucking insane user. Not the institutional or self harm kind either, people arr just generally crazy. For some reason people often want things their positions can't provide.

Maybe you were born a,poor farmer peasant destined to due unremarkably and uncredited for. Maybe your a noble son, sick of this pampered sham of a,life as you yearn for something, anything else. Maybe a craftsman, who's heard tale of a material so fine you could make yourself into a legend. An artist seeking inspiration from the world outside. A thif who needs to get out of town to escape the axe. A singer, who would rather be anywhere but here.

We are born with an innate sense of self loathing, a hoperfect to change our status, to break our routine, grow famous or rich... or just change. We live with our own sense of wanderlust tugging at our minds and all we want sometimes, is to drop everything we have, and walk somewhere new.

This is why adventuring happens, why we seek out clear danger and unbelievable fear. Why we dream of what we don't have but could. Because in the end user, we're all madmen... and once you open your eyes and see it you'll cry, for you will have seen the true beauty of the world.

>Aqua
>when there are Crimson Demons around

But they're retarded.

Left to Right
>Wanting a Brocon
>Wanting someone who can't even remember what they are
>Good Choice
>Lolicon
>Best Choice
>Wanting a bar owner
>Good Choice

Chuuni =/= Retarded

>not wanting a bar owner for when you retire from adventuring
In fact, fuck adventuring. Just run a goddamned bar.

I used to be a soldier, but they disbanded the army after the last castle fell.
Now I can't stay a night in an inn without getting into a fight, for good reasons or bad. I can't work a day without people asking me my tale. I can't sleep a wink because of the nightmares. I can't walk a league without checking for skirmishers.

I'm never coming home from the war, boy. So I am taking my war with me. Anywhere I know how to fight, anywhere there's pay and plunder.

If it's under the earth, so be it.

I want to be the bar owner, not marry the bar owner.
I want to marry the Red-Headed Baker's Daughter, or a member of my Party.

>I want to marry ... a member of my Party.
Lenin would be proud, comrade.

skythewoodtl.com/g10/

Here, enjoy!
It's not actually a fanfic, it's just marked as such to bamboozle The Man.

There comes a point in your life when you have to ask yourself a question. The most important question.

Do you want to live?

Or are you content simply to survive?

I mean, if you marry in you'd be co-owner of the bar.

This.

I have a character concept based on this.

The character is a bard, and due to knowing the stories/songs about adventurers and their horrible luck prior to the final victory is utterly terrified of becoming one.

Due to unfortunate circumstances he keeps accidentally getting involved or dragged into different adventures, though, possibly Caiphas Cain or Rincewind style.

My current character is already a coward so I won't be playing this one any time soon, but I think it could be fun.

Money doesn't make you happy.

You're not spending it right then.

You clearly don't understand how many cats I can buy with alot of money.

Your life will probably be miserable and short no matter what you do, might as well spend it doing something that has a chance of bringing you wealth and renown.

And that's how many revolutions and civil wars, when everyone started taking their food producers for granted and started pissing on them to feel important.

The whole point of Aqua is that her flaws push you towards violating her in ways you wouldn't violate someone you actually respect. That's basically true for the entire cast of that anime, but I think Aqua is sort of an exemplar of it
Tell me more sweet lies

All those reasons didn't hoboloads of poor and rich alike to go where the map says "?" in real life. Some of them didn't have maps at all.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Órfãs_d'El-Rei

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Settlement_of_the_Americas#Migration_routes

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proto-Indo-Europeans

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Migration_Period

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_Discovery

You don't go alone, you go with comrades, you go with guts and ambition and hope and dreams. 5 or 500 comrades, people that you wouldn't trust your purse but would trust your life when it counts, because you guys are all you have.

When the hunger is great, feed on dreams of glory.

When the map lies, leave a marker for future generations to see.

When the raiders attack, hate them like your truest enemies.

When the last dagger breaks, lust for tanned wenches.

Money doesn't make you unhappy.

Is this why Commoners are forever level 1?

>he doesn't realize they're the same thing in the end

Time wipes away all glories, user. The famous dead are no less dead than the forgotten. They are all merely bones, now. You are a fool if you think the greats of yesteryear hear the praises we sing of them now.

The end has taken them all, as it will one day take us. Glory, honor, freedom - these have no meaning to the dead.

Reference to what?

...

Water and immortal undead life? Not bad.

>ut there's a chance he'll be the one in fifty, or one in a hundred, who changes the world itself.
and die in some foreign pit only after that

9/9