Your character has initiative

>Now we will never have decent elf threads again.
>again.

>as if they ever were good

Yeah, gonna have to go with this

Reveal that he was actually three Kobolds standing on each other's shoulders and passing themselves off as a Dragonborn.

Then they all just jump out the window, reveling in the success of their ruse.

What's the problem with them?

Sit the girl down and give her the lecture about HMHVV with extra emphasis on the part that it's contagious via any and all bodily fluids. So the only way the infected can go about this the traditional way is either with the other infected or on the people they are about to put down anyway.

Then pull a large box with assorted collection of various toys and gadgets and point of that if she's already in the mood she should totally try some of them.

>it's contagious via any and all bodily fluids

>2075
>not doing it in a modified hazard suit

Free action: Cancel Disguise Self
Swift action: Quickened silence
Standard action: Mind Blast.
Next round: Quickened Hold person. Grapple
Eat brains next round.

This

Best post

>Free action: Cancel Disguise Self

Standard action to dismiss a spell.

I wonder why my DM decided to try and /u/rape my PC again.

Rolled 1 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

Smash that pussy!

>she breaks your pelvis and steals your wallet, too

Looks like Ricegnat

Cast ray of mayo.

Nigga reverse image search it. Goddamn.

>We can totally do this. You just have to wear a rubber. Except the rubber is actually full body suit thick enough to safely stroll though the bad parts of Seattle in.
Yeah, nah. It's better to look for the right partner than for means of making is "safe" with any random strangers.

>actually replying
Great, now OP feels approved for shitting up the board.

Roll to show her i good in bed as much, as i good with my tongue.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

Shame on me.

well you do seem about as good with both.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

Roll to lick her ass cuz my character is gay.

Do your job, mods.

>Your character has initiative.

>Say some cheesy one-liner I've been preparing for just this moment
>After party laughter has died down, DM says something about her embracing my character and mine embracing hers
>Fade to black, switch to what the other characters are doing

This is how most parties should handle this scene.

>polymorph
>pretend this is my true form and I was just using the human form as a disguise
As long as it doesn't wear off halfway through, I have a plausible excuse for anything that goes wrong.

Kick, not lick.

Fucking keyboard.

Hit it with an axe.

Take out my Kriegsmesser (I have quick draw) and attack for 2d4+4+3d6+3 assuming my 1d20+12 hits her flat flooted and touch AC

Kaleina Doujin – Ricegnat

>unzip dick
>kill the Xeno afterwards
>Keep lock of her hair as a trophy
>Never speak of this to anyone ever

>Roll to lick her ass cuz my character is gay.
Both work

Well, fuck you. OP succeeded.

What do you think he does? He makes good on that boasting.
He's exactly where he wants to be after all, I didn't put those points into charisma just for buffing. And his Order doesn't have vows of chastity either.

After all... If you're not bedding the tavern wenches and comely maidens, what kind of adventurer are you?

I appreciate how the doujin is two consenting adults banging without the sex being under some shady pretenses or devolving into the girl being a barking, ahaego-faced bucket of fluids.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Suck her cock to lube it up before I ride her until she fills me with her creamy futa-elfy goodness

...

>Not eating the whole ass
Gay as fuck tbqhwu familia

>xeno
I mean I know the small mind is a good one in 40k for being easily filled with faith and not being distracted, but know your enemy man.
She's clearly a psyker, and almost certainly just an abhuman. Both of which admittedly are counts for BLAMming.
And while nobody would blame you for being cautious, she may well have been Sanctioned on both counts, and then you have broken a tool of the Emperor. Be vigilant, citizen. For weakness both within and without.

>pointed ears
>unnatural hair color
>using Psyker abilities so casually
Definitely a Xeno.

You should report to your loyal Inquisitorial Office.

This seems to be a case of two consenting adults hooking up after some tavern flirting.

So my character sees nothing wrong with Fading to Black. Later he tells the party the elf and him chatted for a bit before parting and he got some leads for quests they can do around the area

>this

If she's human then she's in cahoots with the Archenemy.

who niggered this image?

>Just an abhuman

Oh my god, I just realized something.

What if Elves as we know them in fiction are separate from the Eldar, being something that *looks* like an Eldar, but is in fact merely an abhuman species with fantastic physiques and pointy ears?

Eldar are described on more than one occasion as being inhuman in more than just their numerous physical differences.

In contrast, Elves are commonly described as pointy-eared humans.

If Squats are Dwarves, and Squats are abhumans, why can't Elves be abhuman?

I really hope not. Then I'd have to kill myself after unzipping my dick.

There is another elf thread that has the potential to be about traditional games, but this thread has more replies.

Awesome.

>Pointed ears
We have squats, ogryn and felinids as sanctioned abhuman varieties. Pointy ears are a simple fix by comparison.
>unnatural hair color
In the grim darkness of the far future, there is no hair dye, clearly.
>using Psyker abilities so casually
Legitimate argument. Shoot away, but please refrain from killing loyal citizens who use hair dye in the future.

On the other hand, you might want to be careful being aggressive to a psyker who thinks nothing of using their powers. They're either so far gone that daemons are chill with them or powerful enough they're all ost untouchable.

Anons please, the average guardsman does not know much about the Ruinous Powers beyond they exist, and that Psykers are little more than strange humans with weird mind powers that the Church tells you to be wary about.

This horny abhuman would be little more than a curiosity to bed and bang. I need not remind you that Warhammer (and Warhammer Fantasy) lore is rife with people interacting with supposed enemies on good terms.

They did it badly, too. That bit of 'breast' that's showing is cloth, not skin.

I see you their heretic and I'll not be swayed to bone yon comely wench with pointed ears and tentacles about her nethers.

You could always shoot her afterwards.

...or shoot first and bone her then. Not that I'm endorsing that, but I mean.. it's an option.

All this talk of bedding abhumans?

The Inquisition has more important things to handle than a Guardsman getting his dick wet with the system's local abhuman population.

Do it mods, you deleted that one thread that actually was about traditional games, you can delete this one too.

Riiight, because all those felinids in Inquisitorial retinues are totally just because they're good at sneaking around.

More importantly, how would actual Eldar react on meeting these pointy-eared abhumans?

This is clearly a trick. Has this airhead not heard how men in taverns talk? Blue humor and hyperbole are standard.

Meow, because he's a fucking cat.

Hope the knife eared bitch likes cuddles.

Only filthy Radical scum would make use of such wretched mutants.

Chokes the shit out of her.

>Cat boasting he's the best at bed-snuggling
This amuses me.

I don't think you appreciate just how hot this is.

Stop her undressing.

Hug her tightly.

Fondle her waist.

Nibble the inside of her ear.

...

Restrain the caster. I think Ropetrick should do. Follow up with Tasha Hideous Laughter to disrupt verbal components. Then coup de graceher ass into the negative.

>how would actual Eldar react on meeting these pointy-eared abhumans?

Same way they react to Humans, probably.