okay Veeky Forums help me out here. I recently played an edh match with my usual group and was having fun when one of my friend invited over two new guys to play with us. ( labeling them ad douche-bag 1 and douche-bag 2).
now the group normally plays super casual and fucks around ( kahlia, savra, ghost dad, etc) but always know that each deck can get stupid if you wanted to build it right.
dbag1 decides hes gonna play his lazav deck and dbag2 decides hes gonna play adjun. both of them get all smug when turn 3 adjun drops dream halls after searching for it and clears the game. Game 2 lazav desides hes gonna just sit there and infinite bounce everything with venser.
help me build the douchiest edh deck to tell these two fuck heads to go fuck themselves for making the rest of the group literally pick up and leave after this. ( pic semi related)
Just tell your friend not to invite them anymore. Surely he must've also noticed how the rest of your play group didn't like playing with these guys.
Justin King
still, would like to douche on these two for what they did.
Easton Reyes
For niv-mizzet, curiosity... Also try to do a hidetsugu double damage move if able Eg furnace of rath.
Omniscience + enter the infinite + that take an extra turn card from Kamigawa.
Eli Perry
play azami
it is the most annoying control/combo deck in the format
Kayden Clark
what do you have already, you can twist a douchy version out of just about anything
Nathan Robinson
Now I'm just guessing here but I assume the reason they stomped you is that they are better deck builders, have bigger wallets, or both. You can't just "decide" to build a competitive deck. You have to learn how to build one or netdeck a $1000 monstrosity.
user's throwing random recommendations at you through the internet does not result in a good deck.
Brody Barnes
It's possible to build cheap, casual decks without being a shitter.
Have you tried packing removal, you know, at all? Just because it's EDH doesn't mean you shouldn't run efficient answers.
Do you have cards to cast at every stage of the game? Just because it's EDH doesn't mean you shouldn't build on a curve.
Look at your cards. For each one ask "Am I always happy to draw this card? Will it impact the game the moment I play it?" - if the answer is no you probably need to cut it. Just because it's EDH doesn't mean 2 card combos with no redundancy are a good idea.
Also, it is COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE to focus attack combo decks. "But I'm not a threat, I'm only drawing cards" is a bullshit defence and the pilot knows it.
Benjamin Campbell
Jhoira with all land destruction you can find, all eldrazi + blightsteel (suspends lets you get cast triggers and gives haste), add in omniscience and memory jar, get all the good mana rocks and counterspells (none of that 3 cmc casual shit). Add in winter orb / static orb effects + Teferi (both planeswalker and creature) and don't forget your homie the blue preator. Enjoy your tier 2 deck that works on 2 mana and is able to produce a chain of suspended "i win" and watch them suffer while trying to find a solution for everything you will be casting - add in timecrafting / fury charm incase they're out tapped to surprise hit them with whatever it is you suspended and fuck up their game (don't bother with crap like Jhoira's time bug). Just claim it's a casual deck you're trying to play and that it's fair because it takes 4 turns for you to cast anything meaning they got plenty of time to look for answers (add insult by claiming that if they can't find a solution in that time they must be bad players/have bad decks). Also don't forget your extra turn cards and claim jhoira is all about time, and being a time wizard, how eldrazi are able to wsrp through the nether etc., so it fits the flavour of your deck - emphasizing how casual the deck is and that you build it with a theme in mind.
Thank me later
Robert King
>Jhoira Confirmed gay
Jacob Anderson
tappedout.net/mtg-decks/gitrog-mill-landfall/ Finally brewed my Gitrog deck. Basically I threw in most of my mill and ramp stuff and mixed it with some spicy landfall and delirium. It had some pretty good rounds already. Ramp worked well, but the milling could be better early I feel. It could also need some nice landfall abilities or graveyard shenanigans.
Ryan Baker
There are two ways I can see you making a Douchebag deck 1. Spend a lot of money and build a ridiculous deck that wins super fast like Arcum Dagsson + metalworker + untap artifact for _ mana. 2. Directly counter their stratagy. This is easier if you only play with one of the 2 dbags at a time. Like run Nekusar against the card draw commander, with only cards that harm them for drawing.
Austin Myers
It's acceptable to focus attack whoever the fuck you want.
Guess it's a bit too early for feedback. Is it a good idea to take some hexproof/shroud equipments to protect my frog? Kinda feels like a good idea considering I need him on the field for half my cards.
Carter Kelly
>Build EDH Teysa as my first commander >Love her
>Eventually my playgroup and I want some new spice >Build Nin
>Built Nin, having fun >Immediately have a scratch to build a new deck >Knowing myself, am going to spent at least 400 bucks on it
Please send help
Or advise me what to build, that can work. So far I am considering either new Sigarda or Marchesa or some other three-colour deck that is not straight up combo.
James Nguyen
I have hidetsugu but what are good cards to combo with him?
and I already have curiosity
Ive been thinking about picking up azami because a friend from college used to play her with mind over matter but I would have to pick up a lot of wizards and idk which some of the good combo ones are.
Grenzo, Daxos of meletis, and Savra.
can build a niv mizzet or most white weenies.
honestly im looking for douche combos that would be easy to search.
well it depends on the deck, grenzo doesnt give a fuck and just tries to search for on of 9 infinate combo's in the deck with spot removal.
and savra is field denial.
what the fuck do you do against dream halls in black green? besides hoping you can slap their hand to the graveyard? btw ive been building a list of stupid combo's for black green devoteddruid + quillspike, life and limb + sporemound
etc
im just looking for better draw power to get into my combos quicker. for savra
grenzo needs an overhall though
Evan Cook
>what do you do against dream halls
krosan grip
Ayden Martinez
1) Green has enchantment hate, some of which is on a creature (sac to destroy). This is good for your problem. You're playing GB so do some reanimation and make it hurt.
2) Not an easy fix but Scour From Existence is colorless. Desert Twister is six but it's there.
Camden Price
Hey, I hear you are having permanent problems. Is there a scary Jace the Wallet Sculpter doing everything? What about an angry Jitte threatening to destroy everything you love? Or is it just a Dream Halls that allows them to play all the things forever? Is the thing they have better than a vanilla 3/3 token?
If you said yes to any of these things, consider ordering a Phyrexian Compleation package! Bringing our own sense of "balance" to every format. Your first compleation is free!
Isaac Gonzalez
kek forgot image.
Brayden Lewis
That's not free, that's at least 3 mana bro.
Cooper Parker
For hidetsugu Dictate of the twin gods, gratitious violence, furnace of rath, quest for pure fire, over blaze I believe.
And if you want to screw someone in particular over Curse of bloodletting
Mind you at this point you're just being like dbag one and two, since you're gonna kill everyone with even life totals...but it's fun if someone plays an "I take infinite turns but don't do anything" deck.
