/CYOG/ CYOA General

Yes, that would be fine. Highlander likes when we play around a little with the more open ended stuff.

>tunnel druid
I don't know what this is, but I'm curious to find out.

There was a guy who made a kobold earlier and there have been a number of Orcs and other similar creatures, Watcher is whatever you wish it to be. Just as long as it is reasonable in terms of the creation.

I mistook the first page as a duplicate. I found it in my recycle bin.

Watcher is your custom start option, do with it what you will.

Coolio. Now to figure out how to get a small junker of a spaceship, a way to shrink things, and get Bio to cook me up some plant monsters...

...

I need the magic pen in my life because a comment in kindergarten has permanently fucked up my handwriting. I have such small handwriting at the moment, I only found out during senior year in highschool during AP literature when I was only filling the front page and part of a back of a essay sheet and started freaking out when I saw people with 4+ sheets of paper.

I can't write in normal size font now without focusing and my handwriting is almost doctor level.

>Morph Mask
TWO WEEKS

By the way, Highlander also said it's ok to "upgrade" free items, like trading in Tebulasi Frigate earned as Privateer Extraordinaire plus 600 credits for an INS Ship.

...

a

>The Speaker
>I can't decide between Protective Aura and Special Shoes

...

mansion
2 star personal chef
ambrister and juanita
whore harem
lawyer
health care

>Doctors
Just in case.
>Electronics
Fun time!
>Lawyers
Again, just in case.

Something new here

Point out what you like or don't like and I'd appreciate it

I'm an ESL fag, so feel free to point out any spelling mistakes and make fun of my inability to think of more than three ways to start a sentence

Sorry, I missed the cutoff. I annotated the picture with why I see the new requirements as necessary. Now for the last class

7. Arithmancy: Math magic. Mostly useful for curses (You can always bring food closer to your mouth, but it never actually gets there) and enhancing other forms of magic. You use it to combine effects, dispell things, anything that falls under metamagic but is not already covered, and even then you can just inefficiently.

There are tutorials online if you need help. Its a little unintuitive, but to make directed graphs you just need to point function and vectors.

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3/6

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There is no reason to pick Stone Giant over Cyclops, and that is a problem.

OC?

It costs more.

Yes

Ah, forgot about that. My bad.

Do people like?

Maybe

Well, I've made a mess again.

This stuff is great. I want to use it, and might do so pretty much as-is, but the wording needs to be made more layman-friendly and I don't think I know enough to do that without fucking up the parts that matter. Like,
>It works as a combination of Galois theory and combinatorics to avoid having to use every permutation.
The context makes it seem that this is the part I should understand, but it could as well be about flux capacitors for all I know. And I'm a college-educated adult, so I'm guessing it would be similarly unintelligible to a lot of people. I'd still like to use it, for those that can appreciate, but if this is supposed to replace Rituals, I would also need to write something that says "this is for doing rituals" without contradicting the math theory.

>Computation and Proof:
>Trig, calculus, and series
Seems a bit over the top to teach calculus before basic algebra. As an entry-level course, it has to be possible for a thirteen year old, not a high school graduate.

>topology
>transpatial functions
I'm not able to wrap my brain around these. That may be partly because it's roughly my usual bed time, and I'll definitely look over your feedback again with a fresh set of eyes some time later this week, but still, it definitely needs more layman-friendly wording before it could go in the CYOA.

>Arithmancy
Sounds a bit cheesy, honestly, though simultaneously hellish. Like Mathmagic Land with Donald Duck. I'm not feeling it, as-is.

>point function and vector
Yeah, I've figured that out now. I was hoping there was something in there that rearranged the points so it looked nice automatically, since yours looked so good, but alas, there's no substitute for work.

Thanks for helping out so much, by the way.

Oh geez, I need all the options at the same time!

You know its a good cyoa when you actually go back and remake your build several times. I ended up with a small fleet though... I hope its worth on Kimaruthus.

The way Ultra weapon is written, it looks like you want the cost of the weapon to be higher than your strength stat. That seems a little off...

I think it would probably be better if the weapons actually gave you stats, like in Titanlands, cause right now they seem pretty... underwhelming.

The CYOA needs a scale of what the stats actually mean. What's the average, what is 10 strength equivicable to? Also it seems that it's too easy to end up with negative endurance as an elf.

Yacht
Prostitutes
Butler/Maid

Pretty much the best fucking life ever. Travel the world in a luxury boat, fuck beautiful women, never have to work or do chores. I'd only work the first year (not having to pay any rent/utilities/groceries) to save up enough money for any games I'd want to buy.

Wonder if models like Ashley Graham could play tabletops?

You kidding? Pick demon and you'll probably have - CHA by the end.

House, pornstars, electronics

I don't even intend to fuck the whores much. They're just there for flavor. All I need is living space and electronics.

A

WRRYYYYY to your heart's content, friend.

Very fun! I'm not huge fan of stats, but it's ok. Kinda wish it was easier to be both strong and agile, but maybe that's minmaxing.

>Angel 30
>Beautiful 27
>Great Agility 23
>Paladin 19
>Elementalist (Fire) 16
>Cleric 12
>Greatsword 8
>Enchanted Weapon (Lightning) 6
>Energy Shield 4
>Light Armour 2

Stats
>STR 5
>END 6
>INT 11
>CHA 11
>PER 6
>WIS 4
>AGI 6
>LUK 4

Be beautiful Angel who flies around healing the sick and protecting the innocent.

Don't feel bad, some of it is magibabble. The point is you're learning "mystical math" (WhooOoooO).

>I would also need to write something that says "this is for doing rituals" without contradicting the math theory.
Galois theory is used to find roots of seperable polynomials [The polynomials that can be written as (x-a)(x-b)(x-c)... where all a b and c are all different.] quickly and well. Just say that most magic [though not all] can be expressed that way and thus you can find a root very quickly, which is good since that gives you a lot of information. You can target your root to get what you want instead of just going off experience. So something like
"Most of magic is expressible as high degree polynomials, where the solutions produce fireballs. By using Galois theory to permute their roots to find the most appropriate, your prepared spells can be optimized for any number of things."
This is just an example, so you could do something else with graph isomorphisms and shortest paths or any other optimization technique. Takes a while to solve initially, but you get real gains most of the time.

>Seems a bit over the top to teach calculus before basic algebra. As an entry-level course, it has to be possible for a thirteen year old, not a high school graduate.
Algebra isn't basic algebra, its modern algebra. You end up with closed symbolic systems under well defined operations with inverses. Basic algebra is taught in Computation. Listen, you're also expecting kids to become soldiers in a year, I think high school math can be covered in that time. Or at least the important parts, most of it isn't used after high school. Kids are good at that kind of thing, there's a reason that there are 2 kinds of prodigies.

It's ok. Not much is known about the world, and it's difficult to get sucked in.

Mountain Lord Ent [9]

STR - 7
END - 5
INT - 8
CHA - 5
PER - 15
WIS - 8
AGI - 6
LUK - 4

Third Eye [3]
Great Agility [4]

Ranger [4]
Beastmaster [5]
Shapeshifter [5]
Leader [4]
Druid [1]

Compound Bow [4]
Bolas [1]

Join an adventuring party to better understand man's world and protect nature.

I love you

0/16 Stand Points
Destructive Power=A
Speed=A
Range=A
Durability=A
Precision=A
Developmental Potential=A
Stand Power:powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Poison-Fire_Manipulation
>16 points lets me put everything at A
Holy Shit

3/14 Bizarre Points
Ripped as Fuck, and Fabulous as Fuck
Jojo
Cool Hair
Sharp Dresser
Do you Even Pose?
Battle Cry
Animal Mascot

Animal is Dog. Because Dogs are Awesome

Destructive Power=A
Speed=A
Range=A
Durability=A
Precision=A
Developmental Potential=A
Stand Power:powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Chimerism

[continued]

>topology
Most people have never heard of this, so that is a problem. Maybe you could go with analysis, though again people will misinterpret.

>transpatial functions
Yeah, I just made up that name. It does what portals does and a few other things, since your investment to get there is increased. Escher paintings, geometry traps, maybe give someone Red Queen Syndrome. Ties into physics cause it has an actual effect on the world.

>Arithmancy
I figured math needed some kind of capstone ability and I always like metamagic. If you just limited it to that I would be fine, dispelling and combination, no cursing or whatever. Say its about modeling and creating new methods and concepts. That's most of theoretical math anyway.

>Thanks for helping out so much, by the way.
I'm not helping, I'm procrastinating.

Also, if you ever find a way to make graphs look nice quickly, tell me. You may have just solved the traveling salesman problem.

There's a lot of generic fantasy CYOAs but yours is, at the very least, the prettiest one I can recall seeing.

The text could be a whole lot smaller.

I'll pick Mountain Lord. (9) The idea of being an ancient tree god is quite appealing to me, even though I'm paying about as much as an angel but have a significantly inferior stat total.

Paladin and Monk. (8/17) Wisdom and toughness fit my race.
Druidism is an obvious pick for an ent. (1/18)
Leader is a good idea for godlike races. (4/22)

Heavy armor, great sword, and staff. (12/34)

Six points to spare. I'll have a sidekick, that I'll make up later.

STR 7
END 10
INT 6
CHA 7
PER 4
WIS 9
AGI 3
LUK 4

Under dryad, "all female" should be hyphenated as "all-female". Treants, likewise, should be "all-male".

The plural of "Cyclops"is "Cyclopes".

>halfbreed
I can tell what you mean to say from context, but the second sentence is confusing.
>halfblood
I can't tell how the main characteristic set is supposed to work.

I made Is right. There doesn't have to be a super detailed setting, but it would be nice to now a bit more about the type of world we'd be in. I'd write a more detailed character background if I knew what sort of things were in the world.

I hate to be that guy, but I think that 40 points is too generous. I understand that you want some left over for equipment, but if you give players the choice between a permanent stat boost and a dagger, I would think they'd go for the boost most times. And when you have points to spare, the only real reason to take a drawback is because you actually /want/ to, and not because you feel it is necessary to make that hard choice.

As it stands there's not much play to the choices offered – it's very easy to build a max stat multi-bonus special snowflake, with no drawback. And without a defined setting, there's not really much connection to the three-eyed giant angel-demon gunslinger cannibal vampire weretrout you've just made. I think this could benefit a lot from some sort of setting (but that's more of a personal opinion).

Maybe reduce points and have a separate point pool for equipment/companions, or have the points for those sections a function of a stat. Like charisma gives you points for companions, while luck gives you points for equipment? That way stats would actually mean something concrete – which is another thing the CYOA lacks.

Don't take this the wrong way, I quite like the CYOA overall and the organization is very user-friendly.

Your explanation is still confusing to me. I think I just don't have the math background. I know what polynomials are but that's pretty much as far as it goes.

>you're also expecting kids to become soldiers in a year
A prepubescent kid would be a shit fighter, but the skills involved aren't that tough. I suppose we can bend what's feasible in this magic-based CYOA though, and it's true that we're looking at probably more than double the annual instructional hours that a real life high school class has to work with.

>Most people have never heard of this, so that is a problem.
I don't think it's a big problem, though personally the name makes me think of it in the geographic sense. But as long as there's a description which says what it does, that's fine. I think it's beyond me to write one, though.

>I figured math needed some kind of capstone ability and I always like metamagic. If you just limited it to that I would be fine, dispelling and combination, no cursing or whatever. Say its about modeling and creating new methods and concepts.
That much I think I can work with.

>I'm procrastinating.
Hey, so are we all. But even if we're fundamentally just wasting the time before we die, it's nice when you do so in a way that contributes to some project that creates an illusion of meaning.

And I'm getting maudlin, which is a good sign that I might as well go to bed. 'night, friend.

Does anyone have the seven deadly sins waifu cyoa? I don't remember who made it, but I remember liking it.

Halfblood perk says
>replace of their main stats
I don't get it.

Don't forget also putting rapists in torture planes then wiping your mind of it. lol hi angel.

'Night. Post a picture if you want to talk to me, I skim these threads most of the time so that will make me more likely to notice.

Pic is the original Average Fantasy that I made ages ago. I think I've improved a bit

The equipment page is probably the one I was least happy with, so I'll probably remake that page completely. I'll see if I can add some value to the weapons other than just having them. Not too sure what you mean about the ultra weapon description though.

The stats were a pretty big pain to implement and I didn't think of the fact that they might become negative, so I'll try and come up with a solution to this and put something about scale of each of the stats at the end after I actually figure it out.

The reason I didn't really want to write a paragraph or two about the setting is because I'm not very confident in my writing ability or my creativity for that matter, but, if there's enough demand, I suppose I can try and come up with something interesting and unique

I'll have to fix that mountain lord thing - I think I made Angels and Demons 2 or 3 points too powerful. I'll implement those three spelling/grammar errors and I see what you mean now with the halfbreed and halfblood thing, so I'll fix that too.

You're not being that guy user, I really do appreciate the feedback. I understand what you mean by the total points being too high and that you can raise your stats too high. I'll try and reduce the starting points to a more fitting number. I'm hoping that adding a sense of scale and making the stats harder to raise will add that depth that they need.

Thanks for all the feedback folks, I'll see what I can do

If you're a cyclops, people will hunt you for your eye. Good luck joining any adventurer parties

It's nice to see older CYOAs getting remakes and more fleshing out.

Name: King Harald Iceblood
Race: Northern Human
Traits: Blood of Giants
Class: Knight/Slayer/Leader
Equipment: Ultra Greatsword, Crossbow, Heavy Armor
Complications: None
Stats: STR 10, END 10, INT 3, CHA 7, PER 4, WIS 3, AGI 2, LUK 5

If I'm right, the STR requirement for an Ultra Greatsword is 10? If not, let me know.

I like the idea of a Northern Human kingdom who can trace their lineage to the Frost Giants of yore.

Also it's pretty, I forgot to say that it's pretty.

>Three-eyed Giant Angel-Demon Gunslinger Cannibal Vampire Weretrout

Angel-Demon Halfblood (10, 10, 3)
Third Eye (3)
Blood of Giants (3)
Great Agility (4)
Gunslinger (6)
Vampire Cannibal (+2, +2)
Weretrout (+2)
2x Pistols (2, 2)
Energy Shield (3)

I'm not sure what the fuck his story is, but there's a story somewhere in there godammit.

Was it difficult to implement Dullahan in there? Those headless fuckers always warm my heart.

Hi Commander! Kalastet would never throw anyone in a torture plane! She might smite them with a lightning sword if she knew for sure they were guilty though.

I'm sure you can write a nice setting.Just take your time thinking about one you really like and edit it carefully.

E

Yes. Two nitpicks off the top of my head. First, do not make mundane equipment use the same points as permanent powers. I can just get a dagger in world; I don't need to use my precious character points on it.

Two, the font is unnecessarily large in most places; the content you have here really don't need to be 6 pages.

i feel like the lack of stated goals or challenges makes it a bit moot, the weapons are very lackluster, for example is a staff catalyst 4 times as good as a wand catalyst, if not why is it 4 times the cost, would the staffs weight have any effect compared to the wands lightweight advantages, the is also no stated penalty for going negative in stat.

>not forcing the guilty on a quest for redemption where they grow as a person and learn more about the world

I see you're one of those "conservative" angels.

Have fun, darling.

Ahh the beautiful angel. I must say it is a great pleasure for me to see you call me commander.

I remember this one. Fuck the Mestari.
Anyway Royal Navy is where it's at, you go around protecting people from rapist pirates and Mestari slavers. Also they give you more cash for weapons, and the crew is pretty good..

>I'm an ESL fag
A what?
>feel free to point out any spelling mistakes
I'll help you out.

Let's see…
1. I've notice you seem to forget periods. Like, a lot. It'd help with the flow if you got into the habit of remembering them.
2. Surface Dwarf description says:
>bellow
It should be below.
3. Cyclops description says
>They are hunted by for their eye
You either forgot to mention who hunts them, or accidentally added a 'by'.
4. Beastmen description says:
>Half man half beast
A comma between 'man' and 'half' would be great.
5. Halfblood description says:
>replace of their main stats
Looks like you forgot a word. Was it 'half of their main stats'?
6. Scholar description is missing a comma after the word 'traps'.
7. Ranged Weapons description says
>Incase
There should be a space between 'In' and 'case'

That's all I noticed. Seven errors over six pages is actually a pretty good record.
I made like 30 errors typing this post out.

>A what?
Pretty sure it means English as a second language.

ESL=English Second Language

...

Are vampires hurt by the sun?

Yeah I don't understand that either? Do we just take the highest of the 2 stat blocks per stat or what?

What happens if I take Warlock as a Demon?

I would assume Oblivion-esque Vampirism: as long as you keep well-fed, the sun won't hurt you.

Only smite evil!

Well that's your name, right?

...

Update when?

How about a downgrade? I don't want a hulk of unobtanium armor bristling with plasma launchers (because that's kind of overkill), I just want a ship that can, when needed, go FTL and carry me+a few others. Maybe with a coat of shiny red paint?

Also, let's say I wanted to make a swarm of drones (as I've mentioned). They're fairly dumb and individually weak, bipedal and standing at 1'6". I also want them to be biologically based, so they can propagate - if I "plant" some, I want to be able to hunt the local wildlife and convert the biomass into more of them. Ideally, they'd be able to "miniaturize" somehow so I could carry around a good 120 of them in a fairly small ship. Going for "Noble Beast Minor" seems wrong, but it's the closest thing. Drone, Small seems like it could work, except it's a machine, not a plant. Do I need to get the requisite perks to make them myself, or can I substitute...something?

Allegiance: Merchants Guild (10)
Ship: Frigate (60)
Propulsion: Oars, Triangular Sails (8)
Housing: 15x bunks, 50x hammocks, 8x private quarters, 1x captain's quarters (40)
Armaments: 40x Cannons (40)
Ammo: Ball, Bomb, Grapeshot, Chain Shot, Harpoon, Furnace (36)
Rowboats: 5x Large, 4x Small (47)
Galley: Good Galley (5)
Compartments: False bottom chest, Trapdoor (8)
Deck Options: Cells (10)
Crow's Nest: Mestari (2)
First Mate: Eduardo (6)
Companion: Aliina (6)
Quartermaster: Miguel (6)
Navigator: Hulta (8)
Master Gunner: Michael (4)
Cook: Adam (6)
Carpenter: Angus (4)
Slavemaster: Aleksei (5)
Crew: Slave Crew (1)

So, I guess we sail the high seas, trading for gold and taking our defeated enemies for slaves. This was tough to randomize.

E again.

When you make it, Triple Dubs Man.

Money
Extended Physical Range

-Santa Monica Mansion with free electricity, Water, and gas FOREVER.

-Money 10.000$ wORTH ELECTRONICS as well as 2500$ PER YEAR FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

-Health Medical by professionals.

I'll put them back in then and if anyone else has any ideas for curses that might fit the vague setting, I'll include them too.

I'll see if I can split up the pools for character and equipment

Thanks mate, I'll change all these. The period thing though is something I can't seem to fix. Photoshop seems to want to put all punctuation on the right end over to the left end of the line on the last line of whatever paragraph I'm writing. Internet says it's stuck in weeaboo mode, but I can't get it out of it.
Like they said, English is my second language, but I'm probably using it as an excuse.

I didn't think of that

I'll include some clarification on this too.

Again, thanks for the pointers, I'll try and implement some of these. Don't want to fall into the soon trap, so I'll say I will update it sometime in the foreseeable future. Probably. For now though I'm going to sleep because I don't want to outstay my welcome/it's 5:37 and I have little girl school tomorrow.

Apocalypse Edition

Let's see how lucky I get. E.

...

>Weapons
>Yacht
>Lawyer

Time to travel the world and fight pirates. Who wants to join the /k/ armada

Mind you I have nothing to do with Highlander (except stalking him on his liverjournal for news).

>How about a downgrade?
Probably okay, I think it's reasonable that one might want to sell it's old combat-ready ship for some cheaper leisure oriented ship but I also wonder why wouldn't one be able to use the money from selling the ship to buy a good gun or something.

>Also, let's say I wanted to make a swarm of drones
Yeah, what you want is not a drone (Tech department) but something from the Bios. Honestly I don't think there's anything in the requisition center that fills your needs, it's too specific. It probably requires you to make it yourself with Biological Adept skill but even then I think compacting them so you can carry 120 in a ship is a bit of a stretch, I think you would need Purbolo Airship size and some bottomless bags.

Demon Pure Blood Vampire
Elementalist - Smith

Stats =
STR 10
END 11
INT 8
CHA 7
PER 6
WIS 2
AGI 8
LUK 3

Perks
-Beautiful
-Great agility

Complications =
Pure Blood Vampire

Weapons and Armor = Light Armor, Palm Beads, Shortsword.

I want to choose warlock, but there's that contract thing, holy shit i might die from that one.

I feel compelled to make another one.

Swamp Orc
Third Eye, Great Intellect
Elementalist/Conjuration/Apprentice
Lightning Mace, Medium Armor, Energy Shield, Scepter, Throwing Axes

>STR: 7
>END: 5
>INT: 10
>CHA: 1
>PER: 6
>WIS: 7
>AGI: 3
>LUK: 4

To hate him is natural.
To avoid him is common sense.
To deny his power is foolish.

I'm seconding this as my feedback but otherwise decent job, pretty easy to follow and decent images

>Ents 36
>>Mountain Lord 31

>Monk 27
>Slayer 21
>Druid 20
>Shapeshifter 15

>Bard 12
>Leader 8

>Deformity (One huge wind instrument) 12
>>Practical (+CHA) 8

>Companion (Dryad/Beautiful/Druid hangers-on)*4ish 0

STR 10
END 10
INT 8
CHA 8
PER 6
WIS 9
AGI 2
LUK 4

Hide your women, hide your kids, I'll wreck your armies then your women.

Some of these builds are potentially hilarious to me.

>A huge ent mountain lord dual wielding tiny little pistols who plays a mean flute