Veeky Forums, I've always had quite an issue with bards. I've first found DnD through the webcomics such as "Chainmail Bikini" and "The Order of the Stick", and the stereotype of a comically inept bard, who sings and plays a lute in a middle of intense battle while blood and guts are flying around, it was always present in my head. Yeah, yeah, I know, his singing is (sometimes, depending on the edition) causing magic to happen, but it's still singing and playing a fucking lute. I just can't take this seriously. I can't get over this image - a fighter is swinging his sword, dashing through the enemy lines, a rogue is dodging dragon's firebreath while lining up a perfect shot with his longbow, the wizard is summoning demons from Hell and raining fiery vengeance upon his enemies... And the bard is gently singing, seemingly unconcerned by the battle. Hell, we even have real life bards on LARPs, they are always drinking and trying to sell you their shitty CDs. Nothing cool about those.
It was later, when I've read such things as Soul Music and played Brutal Legend, when my opinion began to change. No, bards aren't cool still - but they could be. All we need is to replace the shitty bard stereotype with a rock star. I can't quite explain why, but black leather, an electric guitar and some bass makes for a quite less silly bard - even despite anachronisms. However, no DM on Earth would allow this kind of thing in a serious campaign, which saddens me greatly.
How do you deal with bards at you table? How can you make bards not extremely silly? Do you have any bard stories?
Exalted has ways for you to kill with music. And I keep meaning to write up that artifact instrument.
Owen Thomas
Get a songblade.
As a sidenote, do wizards bother you? They waggle their fingers, babble incoherent nonsense while holding bat shit, all in a bathrobe. It's a comical sight to see in the middle of combat if you think about it, but most don't think about it. Perhaps such a trait could prove useful for other classes...
Jacob Phillips
The difference is, wizards have been long established in fantasy. Bards are really DnD-specific and frequently seen as a joke even inside DnD.
Ethan Lopez
>Veeky Forums meme version from people who've never actually played a tabletop RPG: >"I strum my lute! The fighter gets +1 to his next roll! Also I roll to seduce the dragon we're fighting."
>actual D&D bard: >has fighting skills (but not quite as much as the fighter), thieving skills (but not quite as much as the thief), magic skills (but not quite as much as the wizard), and knows a lot of heresay about lots of random subjects (but not as much as the local sage).
Bards are nice filler characters to act as wingmen for the other PCs, but since a lot of posters on Veeky Forums are socially inept, they assume bards are supposed to be magic rock stars (male) or prostitutes (female).
Nathan Fisher
I played a dragonborn bard in one game. I was part of a rock band with a goliath and another dragonborn, and we scoured the world looking for a vocalist and going on adventures to inspire our next album. I was the bassist, part barbarian and focused on everything thunder related, quivering the earth with a note. Also cleaved people in two with a big ass songblade. Those were good times If you can ignore the dumb shit of one you can do it for another. If you allow preconceptions to color your opinions, you won't have fun with anything
Grayson Baker
>I just can't take this seriously.
So let me get this straight. We have D&D, a game where old men in bathrobes can spend every turn pulling scorpions out of the Elemental Plane of Scorpions so he can chuck them into a room to trigger all the traps in there. A game where a properly-specced Paladin can opt to magically summon a glowing, holy horse. Or a stag. Or an ostrich. Or a fucking bull shark if he's into the whole aquatic scene. A game where the cleric can hurl a bag full of powdered bear shit onto himself so he can temporarily get stronger. A game where a man, an elf, a half-demon, and a fucking lizardman can all meet in a bar and then go off to have adventures.
And the guy with the loot is what you can't take seriously?
Landon Lewis
I know you might not actually PLAY D&D user, but I won't begrudge you your presence in the board as a way to learn more and perhaps one day find a group.
That said, don't you think you could at least be polite and not post anything at all or start threads until you gain actual experience on the subject matter? I mean, I know I don't open my to talk about shit I don't know shit about because it's impolite and makes me look like a imbecile, but I don't know if that's polite behavior where you come from or not.
Zachary Robinson
...
Camden Baker
do real life military bands also strike you as unrealistic?
