Party paladin begins crying tears of blood whenever he kills a woman

The DM's mom comes to pick him up because he's got a lot of homework to do.

>He's got blood coming out of his wherever

It doesn't matter when he wears a helmet 90% of the time, like he should.

Also, bait thread is bait.

The Paladin has become possessed and is having an internal struggle for control of his mortal form with the demon inside of him that is literally killing him slowly. He isnt sure if his actions are his or the demons.

>We'll perfect these damned gender specific laws once and for all!
Only under criteria of that deity. Another god may have different standards.

I guess we don't know enough. Has this happened before to him? Is there precedent? What kind of person is he? But the general reaction should be perceiving him as some kind of holy person.

>so the outer planes are akin to tumblr
>Veeky Forums is akin to the abyss then.

>End of battle against bandits
>Party paladin turns around to face companions to reveal he's crying blood
>Party investigates, but ultimately believe it is someone else's blood.
>Next battle is against armed guards.
>Same thing, mysterious blood tears which the party then deduces is that whenever the paladin kills blood is attracted to his face.
>Players then wonder why he isn't shedding blood tests when killing kobolds, then they make up some explanation that is completely inaccurate and pursue that while finding a bunch of "facts" that prove it while overlooking the flaws.
>Players now believe paladin is just weird and get back to other things.

Unless those asshats come out vocally or at least by proxy like this particular one has they don't get a say.
Honestly they should just fucking hash this out amongst themselves and then fucking tell us otherwise fuck them and all bets are off the table the lazy fucks.

>The Paladin cries blood all the time despite never actually attacking or killing anyone
>It turns out he's just very charming
>as-in, a real ladykiller

this

...

>The party cajoles and coerces the paladin into a relationship
>The paladin realizes that all women are sluts and whores
>Paladin kills every woman he comes across in his quest against evil
>The wizard invents blood transfusions
>Party gets rich, and the loss of (important) life is at an all time low

>Pally smites tranny
>cries semen
Now what?

>eyes full of semen
His eyes and tear ducts seal up like they were super glued, that's what.

>Turns out one of the bandits was a tomboy
>You learn it really is impossible for nondwarves to tell dwarf genders appart
>You just smote a succubus, yet there are no tears, implications unsettling
>You now know the gender of that dragon you just slayed

>You now know the gender of that dragon you just slayed

> not being able to tell via the huge driver's license

If that faghat needs to be brought up, it's because the magic jutsu thing in his eye exerts physical pressure and eventually will make him blind

a vampire stalks the paladin.

>The paladin swings at the orc, but lol nope the vampire throws a woman in the way. Seemingly dead woman. Eyes bleed

>Vampire jumps in, steals blood, run away laughing.

>"Dead" woman disappears.

All these years of not caring...and I finally know why their eyes bleed.

ow the edgehog.jpg

Why would a dragon need a huge drivers licence to begin with? He's a motherfucking dragon. He can just fly, and what is he going to drive? An aircraft carrier?

What if he wants to take a break from flying, that's gotta be tiresome after a while

>You just smote a succubus, yet there are no tears, implications unsettling
Unless you're a lorefag who brushed up on Latin conjugations.

I guess it'd be useful for a one-liner if it happens after he kills a vampire.

Well shit. I entirely forgot succubi are trannies who are basically semen bumble bees.

Could easily just be an Aasimar.

They have a big trend on symbolic stigmata, and vicariously suffering the spilt blood of the innocent, etc.

Anyone got that Random Trait table for Aasimar A La early D&D Teifling traits?

>women
>innocent
Pick one.

All that would answer would be this question:

"Does the Paladin's deity think trannies are women."

Which gets us back around to the original question - who gets to decide, yourself or somebody outside yourself?

We tell him to go back to tumblr.

Living martyr? In what way has he martyred himself?

You're a brave man, talking about my mom over the internet.

Come visit, see what happens.

>Whenever he kills a woman
Is this a regular occurrence?

Sounds like it would suck, I've had blood in my eyes, it stings and basically makes it impossible to see.

He has a broken vein in his eye. His blood pressure might be a bit on the high side. Seeing doctor would be good thing to do. Especially if this occurs regulary. He might be also using too much of acetylic salicylic acid in his diet. Does he hurt a lot? Use some other pain killer for it. Above drug is known to thin your veins. There might also besomething that stresses muscles of the eye too much. Does he see a lot of visions? Stare at the sun? Make him see a doctor.

>behelit starts screaming

your mom is probably a sweet and respectable lady

Fite me irl broseidon.

>him got stigmata

Maybe get that checked by someone. Don't think crying blood is that productive in murderhobo business.

>Hey doc, I cry blood
>Again? Come here, let's take a look...

I forget who, but some winged girl with a motorcycle once responded to a similar question, "You have wings, why don't you fly everywhere?" with "You have legs, why don't you run everywhere?"

"Everyone says they wish they could fly but, if humans had wings we'd consider it exercise and no one would do it."

He's yet to do so, but he will eventually. That's what it means, living martyr, similar to living saint.