So today I sat down to run my weekly game of D&D at a local store...

That's not ADHD (which I have, my 3 brothers have and my mom has), that's just him being an asshole who never gets whupped and gets what he wants when he wants it.

Maybe the op is just polite, and is uncomfortable having to deal with a child being palmed off onto him. Maybe he came here to see if you guys had any helpful resolutions. Maybe you are an asshat.

There is a big difference between having a behavioral disability and just being a regular spoilt little shit.
Judging from your description of the kid and the mother not telling you otherwise, my money's on the latter.

The key here is to set clear rules and consequences.
Starting from the scenario explanation you should have put your foot down.and made it clear that he either pays attention or leaves the table.
And no second chances.

As someone with severe ADHD, he's just being a cunt.

A true ADHD (at least me) just babbled on all the time about random bullshit.

If he literally never shuts up that's ADHD, if he never shuts up about himself that's narcissism.

2 of my players (who happen to be identical twins, fucks my shit up hard because they wear the same clothes and shit) have ADHD and they can easily focus on the game.ADHD doesn't make it impossible to focus, just makes it very hard to focus on boring things, and makes them want to tap their feet or chew their nails all the time as well.

>You are under no obligation to baby sit.

The mother left after confirming the scheduled finish time of the game. I can see enough of an argument about him implicitly agreeing to babysit that I wouldn't be sure of the outcome if the argument got brought up in court. Even if I was sure of winning, I wouldn't want to get dragged into court on a child neglect charge.

Which means he was stuck for the kid for that session unless he wants the police to get involved.

>I want him to go without saying that there's a tangible problem with who he is.
That attitude is how toxic players remain toxic, jumping from group to group never knowing there is a problem they need to work on.

You need to tell him, or his mother, that he is too disruptive to remain in your game. That way, if he can improve, he might improve for the next group he tries to join.

>I'm fine with autistic people.
Autism is a spectrum. Some people with it are much worse than others. It sounds like you hit someone who was significantly worse than others you have met.

OP, as I see it you have two choices:
- Boot him and be done with it
- Tell him why you have a problem with him and give him another chance. One more session. If he doesn't improve enough, boot him.

Only take the second option if you are seriously considering keeping him.

As for the people suggesting you ask to be paid: Think about how your other players will react when they find out about the money. If I was ever in a game where the GM was being paid to keep a problem player in the game, I wouldn't be staying. I will not be using my free time to provide unpaid work for the GMs business.

I was doing Teaching Assitant work for a gifted kids programme for a week recently and there was an autistic kid there, about 10 years old. I found it best to just be firm with him if he got to rowdy. Just calmly tell him that he needs to quite down and it'll come to him in a few minutes, maybe give him soething to keep him distracted while he's not doing anything. I had the benefit that the kid was incredibly interested in the course he was doing though so I probably had it easier.

easy fix, tell the mother next time that she has to stay behind to help him

when she realises its going to be an effort on her part, she'll not bother.

No. Just tell her that the player isn't right for the game.

You can sacrifice yourself for others if you're feeling generous, OP.

But DO NOT sacrifice the fun of your players for an individual. You'll just lose the rest of your group, and that's not worth it.

man, this kid sounds exactly like ever mexican and japanese retard in los angeles

Not all ADHD guys are uncontrollably hyperactive dude.
I was remarkably well-behaved despite my rampant ADHD, and I saw kids like OP's that definitely were not ADHD, just cunts (just like you're saying), so I agree with you to a degree, but he could easily both be a cunt and also ADHD

He sounds neither autistic nor ADHD from your description OP

Quick note, an easy way to tell if you were misdiagnosed, like a multitude of children, or grew out of ADHD is whether or not stimulants, caffeine being the easiest to test with, cause you to gain energy, or if they help you focus.

They help me focus.

What does this mean?

Caffeine does both for me. What does that mean ?

That you actually have ADHD, the stimulant isn't providing the normal energy boost that the average person feels.
You either have a slight imbalance, probably not enough to be legitimately diagnosed, but easy to have misdiagnosed, or part of your lack of focus is lack of energy, and fixing A helped with B.

>or part of your lack of focus is lack of energy, and fixing A helped with B.
The only times I take caffeine* are when I'm adjusting to working night shift. Just the first week or so, after that I don't take any more.

So I'll go with this one.

*Partly because I can't stand the taste of coffee, partly because I avoid it so that it will work when I need it.

ADHD people can also have ADHD mixed with another personal disorder that is overlooked because of the ADHD diagnosis.

What if it does neither?

I always read this as ADND.

What does it mean if caffeine does absolutely nothing for you?

What happens when you stop drinking coffee ?

Kick 'em out. It's not your job to deal with that shit, and it's not the rest of your group's job either.

>Maybe the op is just polite
Or maybe he's a little bitch, and maybe you're a bitch enabler.

>Gifted kids
>Autism
Is that what we're calling them now? Gifted?

Neither of them, but absolutely nothing.

>Webster's
lel

Nothing.

Actually, I take that back, without any dr pepper in the fridge I am slightly annoyed. And then once it comes back I relapse into about 5/day if I can get away with it, and have to force myself to drink less. But I suffer no actual ill effects from not drinking anything caffeinated for an extended period of time.

I tried stronger sources of caffeine when I was falling asleep in my classes in high school. Did nothing. Then again, absolutely nothing worked against that except trying to fight it with sheer willpower, but even then it didn't work well.

here.
Absolutely nothing, I don't regularly drink caffeinated beverages but when I do I feel neither effect. Same with energy drinks.

I was not misdiagnosed. I was diagnosed as an adult at the age of 21.
Ritalin is my sleep aid. I used to drink a cup of coffee in the evening to help me get ready for bed.

I am definitely ADHD. You can be ADHD and still be considered a good example of a well-behaved child, it just requires stricter parenting and the luckier kind of ADHD.

You can be gifted as well as autistic, user.

Plenty of highly intelligent people are infuriatingly incapable of otherwise "basic" stuff.

I can also have six fingers and no feet. That doesn't make me a sprinter.

Autism is an affliction for both the person who has it and everyone around them and if your trying to claim otherwise then you're either blind to it or lying.

nah programs like this include savant style kids. So effectively, kids who are so bored with what they are being taught that they actually stop learning. I was in something similar for alot of primary school. Probly cause I told a teacher they were an idiot for what they were teaching.
Don't try to make me do Brain Gym

I'm not sure what you're arguing.
A program for high IQ kids shouldn't allow high IQ kids with otherwise malfunctioning disorders?

He said there was AN autistic kid, not several. One autist in an entire class full of kid geniuses isn't strange.

I mean if you're arguing he shouldn't be put with the others I agree with you, but that's not what you said.

>>Gifted kids
>>Autism
>Is that what we're calling them now? Gifted?

>I am definitely ADHD.
maybe you're CIA?

>Autism, Dungeons and Disorders

I'm saying that the vastly overwhelming majority of autistic kids are not gifted. Not even slightly.

The 1% that can do number tricks does not make up for the other 99% and change autism from an affliction to a super power.

And of that remaining 1% that can do a thing, and only that one thing, well it's usually something that has no useful or practical application.

They are not gifted and I take exception to them being called that.

>Is that what we're calling them now? Gifted?
Just to make things absolutely clear. Autism is a VERY broad and very generic category (so called "family resemblance category") that encompasses a massive variety of various symptoms and typologies of development disorders. Among those many, many categories (which still have a massive diagnosis problem, as there is still a HUGE disagreement between, say, neurologists and their definition of autism, and people like developmentary psychologists) is a category of so called "High-functioning autists".
Somewhat incorrectly, and I think largely due to the movie "Rainman" as well as disproportional media focus on rare and medially interesting cases, "high-functioning autists" have become sometimes identified as post-child of the disorder, and one of the first things people associate with the word.

High-functioning autists are sometimes refered to as "gifted", because they frequently excel at certain, usually very narrow set of tasks hugely above the general population. Incredible memory, incredible math skills, capability to categorize and classify things in fantastic speed and detail are common traits of high functioning autists. Many top-tier mathematicians have recruited from their ranks.
So that is what people usually think off when they speak of "gifted" autists.
They however represent an absolutely tiny minority in the entire sum of cases classified with autism. Absolute majority of autists actually don't exhibit cognitive hyperfunctionality, just various deficits.

The whole situation is not helped by the fact that frankly, autism has become then number one most commonly misdiagnosed condition in the world, actually overtaking ADHD in that regard during the last few years.

Dude, are you fucking dyslexic or something?
There was ONE autistic kid in an ENTIRE class for gifted children. He was gifted and autistic and neither had anything to do with the other trait.

His giftedness had NOTHING to do with his autism, they were separate traits

I'm not sure how I can make this clearer

Yeah i enabled your mum to eat this wiener

The ADHD thing wasn't helped by genuinely shitty parents and that whole "Indigo Child" thing that was in fashion a while back.

>Dude, are you fucking dyslexic or something?
Yes, actually.

Just talk to him about it calmly, ask him not to do stupid shit, and if he refuses or agrees and fails to actually do so, THEN boot him.

Well shit user, that explains it.

No one is calling sperglords gifted because they're autismos, so we're good, right?

>Advanced Degeneracy and Delusions

Yes. Sorry. I was an ass.

Nah, you're good user. We all make mistakes, and this is Veeky Forums so no one can blame you for not triple checking the content of shitposts.

Stay cute, kouhai.

>Parents have been convinced I have a behavioral disorder my whole life
>Friends have been convinced I have a behavioral disorder my whole life
>Never had any money to see a specialist

Nobody ever told me coffee wouldn't work on me. I drink it every morning, and it's 100% ritual by now.

I almost wish this would have happened to me as a kid. Personally, I'd polish off a semester's worth of work in two weeks, then spend the rest of class time drawing or slacking off - the prospect of getting to do that was what motivated me.

I'm the one who asked if that's what we're calling them. I was not the guy who replied to you.

I had that also in my shitty, shitty time in primary school.

Finish the work, sit down and rest. Then get yelled at by teacher for being lazy and not working.

Best was group activities that inflicted on us. EVERY FUCKING TIME I would get paired with the proto-jock. The lazy, arrogant, stupid popular kid whose one skill was "I can kick ball good". I would do all the work, frantically trying to hit the deadline and he would chat about sports with his equal on the other table occasionally paying attention to hinder. Then I would get yelled at for it being the worst bridge/tower/pyramid/whatever out of all the groups.

Coffee isnt the only source of caffeine.

There's two kinds of ADHD. The ADHD and the ADD kind. Kid was autistic though.

A family of ADHD. That is really sad man. Stop eating junkfood and watching too much tv, you'll be cured. Only a small handful of western nations recognize ADHD as a legitimate diagnosis. It was created by the pharm industry. Throw off those shackles user.

As an adult with ADHD, that kid is poorly medicated. His parents aren't really doing their job, don't worry about it user. Now, if that situation comes up in the future, it's real easy to keep those sorts of people on track. Give him something to fiddle with, or count, or organize in addition to including him in normal game processes. If he's super obsessed with gear, get him to draw what he wants his gear to look like, or create an elaborate backstory about how he got his gear. It's a pain in the ass, and these kind of people will demand attention, but like I said, you can buy a fiddley thing for like $5 that will calm people like that down a lot. Stress balls are nice too.

That sounds less like a behavioral disability and more like a spoiled shit who needs dad to put a belt to his ass.

This except that I've stopped caring. If I ever did see a specialist it would only be out of curiosity to see what they say. I'm pretty ok with my life and how I am.

>I'm fine with kids, I'm fine with autistic people. Perhaps I have a problem when it's both.
Autism is not the only cause of "I'm the most important person in the room." syndrome. You don't have a problem with autistic people or with kids, it sounds like you just have a problem with selfish assholes.

The solution here is the usual solution: talk to him, tell him specifically what the problem is, and what you need him to do to fix it. Then, if he doesn't shape up and you have to kick him out, you can do so without any guilt.

So this seems to be the thread where we discover that all of Veeky Forums is mentally ill.

Your /b/ is showing really hard right now.
He's trying to find a way to tell an autistic child he can't play this game he's already led to believe he can. If you see no problem with telling a child that his head's broken and he's not welcome anymore, maybe you also have autism.

You might have clicked the wrong link. Here:

You aren't the bad guy in this situation, OP. The kid's mom is.

She knows her kid is impossible to deal with. That why she dropped him off with a stranger and left. She just wanted away from him.

Women do this all the time. You are not qualified to look after the kid and you need to just tell the mom that. Next time they show up, just ask to talk to the mom privately and explain to her that the kid isn't old enough for the game.

If she makes a stink about it, just cancel the session, contact your other players, and find a new time or place to play.

She knows exactly what she's doing. She getting an afternoon off for free. He's her kid, if she wants someone to take care of him, there are people whose job that is. And THEY can play DND with the kid. Since that's their job.

I have ADHD and mild low-functioning autism and that sounds exactly like how I acted when I was a little shit.
What you need to do is just fucking lie to him. Don't say he's not old enough or he'll ask how old you have to be, then wait exactly that long and come back.
Just tell him you have too many players and picked X random ones from a hat to send off. It's the only way; if he has even the slightest clue he's being kicked out for being an autistic retard he's gonna blow his brains out thinking about the cringe years down the road. If need be make yourself look like the asshole since he's gonna want someone to blame and you're the only stranger in the situation. It may sound shitty but leaving him mad is way better than sad.

Also

>I was a little light on players so I accepted new ones who just walked in. One of them was a child with their mother, who then left and came back when the game was scheduled to be done.
Why are you babysitting a kid in that store? How old was he?

>be balls deep in the mom
>autist walks in after 5 minutes
>'IT'S MY TURN'

Just tell the mom that her kid was disruptive to the game and you're no longer going to accept him in it.

Be firm. Threaten the kid with throwing him out if he doesn't straighten up.

Autistics are best treated harshly but fair. An autistic friend had his mother using her dog-training skills on him, and he's the most well adjusted autistic I know. Mostly because she actually told him when he did something wrong.

This is a surprise to you?

/thread

OP, here is whats going on.

The kid has autism, not ADHD. The problem is that he is a kid with autism, not an adult. He hasn't had time or practice to mature yet, to learn how to function in a social setting.

The behavior your described reeks of someone with what used to be classified as Asperger's and hasn't figured out how to deal with it.

He keeps talking about Fallout and the phone game because that's what he likes. Its very common for people with aspergers to have a narrow focus of interest, a handful of things that they are very interested in, and to try and discuss those topics with others ignoring social ques. Partly because he has nothing else to talk about (limited experience), and partly because due to his lack of social skills he never has a willing audience to talk about his favorite things with elsewhere.

He keeps asking you how to craft whatever because crafting games are probably the most common type of RPG he has been exposed to, at least enough that it defines his default assumptions for how an RPG works. He thinks he is supposed to be playing minecraft.

The video game focus also explains why he tries to make things about him. If he is playing an RPG, that makes him the main character. He is the player, so why isn't all this stuff about him?

[cont]

The good news is that all of this behavior is fixable. I recognize a lot of this because I hit a lot of these same notes when I was younger I'm considered high-functioning now, but that wasn't always the case. And for his sake, I encourage you to give him another try. DnD did wonders for my social skill and personal growth to deal with AS because it forced me to sharpen my social skill, teamwork ability, and to learn how to pretend to be other people. Skills that I used to eventually LARP as a normal person in everyday life.

He wants to be liked, but he makes decisions based on the assumptions that you think the same way he does. That will never be the case, and that gets him into trouble.

The key to dealing with him is to be direct. Assume that any kind of subtext or inexplicit ques will be lost on him until proven otherwise. He isn't ignoring you, he likely never realized what you were trying to communicate at all.

So be very clear. If he is being rude, just flat out tell him so. "Brian, you are being an asshole."

Just make sure you tell him this in a level tone. Do not yell at him, or come off as angry. Your goal isn't to punish him or scare him, its to let him know he is being an asshole. He might ask how he is being in asshole, but there is a very real chance that this is NOT deflecting behavior. He honestly might not know what he was doing wrong. If you tell him, chances are good he will make an effort to avoid doing that again in the future.

Presuming, of course, he wants to play ball. There is nothing you can do for someone who doesn't want to improve. But a little patience, and some clear language, can do absolute wonders for a kid with AS that simply doesn't know what he is doing wrong or why no one likes him.

Depending on his age, he might not even be diagnosed yet. HE might not know he has Aspergers.

Honestly, all kids should be treated that way.

There is literally nothing wrong with training your child properly. It is a great shame of our society that we scold people for being good parents.

Maybe don't call the little kid an asshole though. That may be a bit much. But yes, be direct and don't sugarcoat things.
This fixes a lot of situations, even with people who don't have a disorder.

>HE might not know he has Aspergers.
Actually now that I think about it, Veeky Forums probably has WAY more experience with mental disorders than just about any other segment of the population.

It's kinda funny how most of us are basically experts at catching autistic behaviour within seconds of seeing a person.

Experience truly does make the master

Nice meme, /pol/

>tfw my tourrettes makes it hard to find a group because of vocal tics.

That kinda depends on the kid, desu. From what I've seen, people with ADHD tend to either have trouble focusing on anything, or they hyperfocus on a couple specific things. This kid sounds like the latter.

>in a decade, 5 years of shitposting on Veeky Forums will be required for a degree in psychology pertaining to mental illness

Imagine you live in a world taken over by pod people.

They look like people. They move like people. But the way they talk, they act, they THINK... its totally alien. Every time you think you have them figured out, you have it wrong. And sometimes they do insane, dangerous things for reasons you cannot fathom. You just don't want them to do it to you.

But eventually you learn to pretend to be like them enough that you can blend in with them in a crowd. You fake a smile like their weird pod person smile, and you walk like they do, and it means they don't point at you and making that unholy screeching noise that outs you as not a pod person.

And then, one day, you see someone sitting on the bench. Smiling their pod person smile... but you can tell its fake. They are faking just like you. Another sane person trapped in this world of pod people. And they see you, and they can tell you are faking too. And you understand so, so much about them in that brief contact because they are just like you.

That's what its like when two people on the autistic spectrum run into each other.

but in this analogy, I am one of the pod people
R-right?

Wow, that got me right in the feels. That's exactly why I still post here after so many years. I always wondered why, but you nailed it.

No user, the pod people are normies.

Maybe he is a neurotypical. Lots of people on Veeky Forums are NTs. We may have a higher than normal residence of people on the spectrum, but its hardly unanimous.

>being NT automatically makes you a normie
It's a requisite to be one, but not the sole requirement.

No user, posting on Veeky Forums longer than a month is probably a medical diagnosis. Admittedly, it's one of the more well adjusted boards, but normal people don't post here. They don't know or care that we exist.

Well said.
He only knows what he's been exposed to, and D&D doesn't have many widely-available similarities for him to compare it to.

It's a cooperative game, focusing on the team instead of the individual, and that can take a little bit to get used to.

I've found that it helps if you do a "No chit-chatting during combat rounds. After the round is over, you can talk and discuss theories and ideas, but once the next round starts, you gotta be quiet. If you HAVE to talk, keep it quiet enough that I can't understand you." setup. If it's completely silent except for the person taking their turn, it can get kinda boring for everyone else, and nobody really likes forced silence. Reduced talking, though, gives a solid rule with fairly easily defined parameters.

Might help, might not.

Under rated post

I honestly don't think that ADHD is actually a legitimate disorder, but rather a side effect of the modern lifestyle. We live in an age where we constantly have the means to entertain ourselves any time any where with cellphone and video games. We are in a state of stimulus pretty much every hour that we're awake, especially children who have huge amounts of free time. Now, that stimulus is like a drug, it just feels plain wrong not to have it. We as emotionally mature and somewhat disiplined adults know how to cope with it. Even I admit to getting a little antsy when I'm not actively participating in the RP, but I can deal with it. Kids don't have this disipline, so they seek the stimulus any way that they can get it. Hence the kid who is unable to stay on-topic. Another contributor to this problem is parenting. The parents probably don't tell him to put the damn phone down and go outside enough like mine did. They quickly learned that when they try this, they have to deal with the annoying little shit thag he is, and it's much easier to let him sit down play his vidyas. It's a vicious cycle, and also a contributor to obesity to boot.

Autism, on the other hand, I can't say. That, I do believe in.

So, TL;DR don't invite a kid if you're not prepared to deal with stupid shit.

Give the kid another shot. I work and play with a lot of people who have ADD, ADHD, Aspergers or Autism, and while most outwardly act like shits they're generally very nice once you get to know them.

The main problem is that people either kick them to the curb and they don't understand anything wrong with their behavior, treat them like babies or severely handicapped people, or ignore them altogether.

If you explain the circumstances to the mom, she will totally understand, she did raise the kid afterall. Tell her you'll try to work with him to stay on topic and be polite, but also a stern word from her on the way to games might help him get what the issue is. So long as the other people playing understand what's happening and are open to help, you have an oppurtunity to do some real good with this kid. Maybe find out next time he's coming and get some nice vet players to help him through while still being stern on him behaving.

You have a shot to help this kid out, OP. If you play your cards right, you can help him develop some valuable social skills that'll help him for the rest of his life. It won't be easy, I guarantee, and lesser players may not want to help, but if you suffer through you can live knowing you made a difference for a group that barely gets the help it needs. Go for it man

No, fuck you, that's not okay. Where the fuck is the payment for the players time that's getting wasted putting up with a potato? They might not want him there at all, and the DM accepting payments to waste other peoples times is just a fuck you to them.

OP, you might think you're being nice to one tard, but you're probably making your long-time friends suffer for the sake of sympathey. Kick the potato out.

I laughed harder than I should have.