That Guy Thread

More people need to see this. They need to bear witness.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS IN JULY

This one's a favorite

Didn't that OP say that the girl's bf was a fa/tg/uy? Or at least that he browses occasionally?
What's the chances he'll see these threads?

Lord preserve me and keep me

Wow. How do these people function in day to day life?

>Didn't that OP say that the girl's bf was a fa/tg/uy? Or at least that he browses occasionally?
Yes, except he actually seems to be a fi/tg/uy. The OP was clearly about puking with envy over GM Bro's physical and social superiority.

>What's the chances he'll see these threads?
Lord willing, it's 100% I guess we'll just have to keep this choo-choo train rolling and hope the dude likes That Guy threads. Somehow I feel like there's a pretty good chance that he'll want to vent about something that went on in his group lately.

My assumption is he basically doesn't. He sounds like the classic caricature of a neckbeard. Probably pisses into empty Dew bottles while muttering about how intellectual he is.

Bumping just for this hilarity.

This isn't the worst thing I've ever seen. At least he eventually got the message.

>The summary actually makes the sperg come off as better than he really is.
It really does. No sympy

Is it bad that all I'm thinking is that if that shit about the Tower of Joy and Syrio was removed and just said he was a veteran of the battle of the Trident, it wouldn't be that bad of a backstory

Holy shit nevermind time to be sad

>Is it bad
Nah, or at any rate it's not bad that you think that about the snowflake player. A bit annoying, but whatever.

On the other hand, if that's all you're thinking because you figure the whole rest of that screencap's unremarkable, then...

>Probably pisses into empty Dew bottles while muttering about how intellectual he is.
Is this something people actually dew

oh my god that was beautiful

At least one guy ON THIS VERY BOARD has admitted to doing this.

It was horrible

>have you ever thought of the possibility that I might be better for her then he is?
>have you ever thought of the possibility that I might be better for her then he is?
>have you ever thought of the possibility that I might be better for her then he is?
>have you ever thought of the possibility that I might be better for her then he is?

Had two friends who did that. One had bad knees and lived on the top floor of the house we shared so he hated going up and down stairs. The other had extreme anxiety about talking to people, even his own parents. He was also very depressed.

Girl seems chill. Wonder how that guy's life has gone after this incident. Hope dude is doing better these days.

>Shit that never happened.

Quite well-crafted, but still never happened.

Honestly, you chucklefucks need to learn to tell when you're following a trail of breadcrumbs.

>last OP who posted shit that never happened after more attention.

Context?

The context is here: and his previous posts
This is the same sperg mentioned in OP. He's amazing. Just incredible.

That happened yesterday, doofus.

Oh that's nothing. There's a guy on /b/ who collects all of his cum over the course of a year in a jar and starts a new jar with each new year.
He posts pictures of his older jars when he starts a new one.
Or at least I think he's still around.

That's nearly as horrifying as the latest Chris-Chan news. Fuck.

Bueno.

I'm so conditioned with years and years of stories of great autism and awkwardness by /b/ and Veeky Forums that by now they just give me the feeling of witnessing the purest earthly beauty.

So good.

You missed the opportunity of making a keit-ai joke.

Well, don't tease us.

>that guy
>better describe him being raped by a horse for 30+ minutes

Holy fuck on toast, he came back?! I was part of that original thread. I'm so glad I didn't go to bed.

I love these threads

goddamn this is hilarious. reminds me of a kid i saw who went /r9k/ levels of nuclear after he lost at a video game.

i hope this guy doesn't end up the same way.

I want to see the images so I know how awful these races are.

Fuck, Denko2 came back and I missed it.

>end of thread taken over by LoveShy and biotruthers
Ugh. Sometimes I forget how many 'That Guy' types are regulars here

>The summary actually makes the sperg come off as better than he really is.
He really was. I would have included more of his bullshit, but MS Paint wouldn't let me make a bigger image than that and I was worried the file would be too big to post.

Guess he was too autistic for MS Paint.

It pretty aptly captured him as an autist

Ahh in fairness I think she got it much worse, deservedly so though.

What's he done now?

I think the robots have the best ongoing coverage of the Taint Saga. Your choice if you want to go look. I'm not even going to describe it here, I don't feel like casual browsers deserve that.

I feel ill. Genuinely fucking ill.

Holy fucking shit.

I would like to know, but I find the bitching on /rk9/ to be real annoying.

Some time ago he decided he was a woman.
This is old news.
Also old news was that he self performed a piercing on his own taint and called it his clit with no medical supervision and took no care of the huge fucking hole he dad just stabbed into his groin.

Needless to say shit got infected and he was eventually persuaded to seek medical help, remove the piercing and at least try to wash.

As of late he has started watching "hypnosis videos" on youtube or some such to try and convince his body to grow a vagina.

Then his groin wound re opened and has gone septic and infected and all sorts of messed up shit. He is convinced that this is his vagina growing. He has refused to see any doctor about this life threatening infected wound.

Well, that's amazingly stupid and clearly won't backfire at all. I just feel sorry for the medical personnel that have to deal with this kind of shit.

In this case it might end up being a mortician.

The Internet might end up loosing its favoured lulzcow but on the positive side the tax payer won't have to subsidize his wretchedness anymore.

>return to That Guy thread
>it's now about a discussion of CWC's groin

CWC is the ultimate That Guy.

He has dedicated his whole life to being the That Guy of life.

Yes he was born with the autism but he has grown on that natural feature until its a art form. All That Guys are in their way imitations of his perfect ThatGuy nature.

>Yes he was born with the autism but he has grown on that natural feature until its a art form.
What, like autism bonsai? Carefully pruning and directing your autism to grow into a perfect eternal That Guy?

I think you're giving him much credit for self-awareness. If anything, his trolls are the ones with the bonsai shears.

>Character is a catfolk alchemist
>Her backstory tl;dr is "Born and grew up in an eat-or-be-eaten swamp, learned alchemy from a lizardman witch doctor", DM is okay with this.
>Setting has lizardman-filled swamplands, DM is okay with this
>She has a taste for human flesh, DM is okay with this because eat-or-be-eaten
>She knows how to swim, DM is okay with this because swamp
>DM has a problem with her speaking the language of the lizardfolk because it's not a language for catfolk

Seriously motherfucker? Catfolk isn't a language for lizardmen either.

I had a run in with a guy like that, I couldn't have been any clearer about boundaries and he just wouldn't stop.

It's not gender specific, but damn I don't get how people can be that autistic.

Carefully tended to with his own narcissistic arrogance and parental pandering.

Oh shit I remember the first thread.

Not even halfway through the first line of posts, and i feel like i have died a bit on the inside. Please, please let the user derail this trainwreck somehow...

THE RIDE NEVER ENDS

Can you tell me more? Give me any source or hint that will help me find that history?

You won't find an archived thread that tells the full story I don't think. She deleted all her posts in it, so now they only exist in screencaps while the thread was just people calling her scum. I don't have either available, never learned how to navigate Veeky Forums, sorry.

Basically, woman had affair with GM's son of 16 I think, then father walked in on her performing oral sex on him. He was furious, and dragged her out of the house while still naked.

I think the fury came from the fact that she was in no way punished otherwise, and the GM's wife thought the story was BS and that it was the GM himself that was having the affair. Kid tried to defend the girl so that got reinforced. Destroyed the marriage.

Hope some user helps you out with actual screencaps.

I'll post a story about one of the reasons I don't use Roll20 to find new groups.
>Be about a year ago
>Little old me was looking for a game on the LFG forums of Roll20
>Find something that works with my schedule, a Steampunk sandbox type game
>Decide to give it a shot, hit up the GM in the DMs, and he sounds pretty flexible.
>Tells me that I'll be working with the group to come up with an overall theme for what we are/will do
>He then tells me we're going to start on a steam powered airship to go and scout out/steal stuff from another plane
>First thought that comes to mind: Pirates for hire
>Make a pirate captain warpriest
>Other group members seem to like this idea, and make two ratfolk crew members
>DM seems silent on the matter, but we're showing our sheets to him, telling him our ideas, and he says it's cool to plop in
>First game starts up
>We get attacked by a stray ratfolk pirate ship
>Not a super difficult encounter, just three ratfolk
>Tell the group members to try and not kill them, because we need more crewmates
>Group eventually does so, and we press gang the rats into our crew
>GM immediately goes apeshit, saying that we're mercenaries, not pirates
>Says we're contradicting what our characters would do
>Bring up that for the past week he sounded completely fine with pirates
>Gets mad at me "talking back to him" and tells me he knew no such thing
>Kicks me from the group
It's a shame too, the two players in that game were hella cool, but they didn't want to leave the game of the person who taught them D&D

Pic related, it's the picture I submitted to him for my character

To be fair to Chris Chan (what am I typing), most autistic people are legitimately retarded. I'm not sure if he was misdiagnosed or what but whatever's wrong with that fucker at this point is gonna take more than a sentence to explain.

Signar preserve me

Has an abcess growing on his pelvis from an infected piercing, believes that he's growing a vagina from listening to youtube hypnosis.

Is it sad that did not faze me at all?

Doesn't bother me too much, either. I think I'd be more repulsed seeing it in person.

This basically happened to me too
I said that his GF had killer abs that shit was legit.
She was always wearing half tank tops to show them off.
We flirted in game a lot I was a young fuckboi cleric and she was some sort of Amazon lady
BF was all like
>Stop flirting with my girl man, thats not cool!
I basically laughed right in is face
>Dude I'm gay

>16
Eh, that's not really that underage at all. Age of consent in a lot of areas, in fact.

semen demon/10 but pretty shit art for roll20 randoms if youre not trying to get donkey-fucked in the crow's nest

Only in backwards places that fucking cousins is a sport.

It's 14 in Germany, Bruder.

>Hypnosis
>Somehow causing physical changes
I see this a lot mostly in porn, but I have to wonder how anyone could possibly believe it. Changing your perception doesn't magically change reality, chucklefucks.

Seriously, by that logic, believing you're Superman would make you invulnerable to bullets!

Exactly.

It's actually only higher than 16 in the prudish, cousinfucking half of America, and some places in the third world.

Oh jesus christ in that case girl seems pretty chill and uh I hope the dude takes it as a learning experience and develops into a better and more mature version of himself

But believing you're Superman DOES make you bulletproof, user!

Try it yourself!

inb4 "fuck reddit", but reddit's Darqwolff is currently my favorite internet That Guy. All the hijinks with... none of the apparent disgusting details that have become part of /that/ saga.

>Stop flirting with my girl man, thats not cool!
>Dude I'm gay

Why would we get pissed at you for bringing up an off-board that guy? Cringe threads tend to mostly be stuff off the site. Couple years ago some fag posted almost word for word a that guy story that I has already seen on Something Awful, and I didn't even call him out on it, because who fucking cares?

Are you gonna link or post caps or what

I have a cap of his first really notorious comment. Because he's been active on this account and /u/HStark for 4 years now, it's been a sorta surreal experience of watching a classic (if advanced) neckbeard evolve into a shithead who's better than usual at rationalizing their failures.

This comment links some of his better hits: reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/4sdhy9/udarqwolff_of_copypasta_notoriety_was_arrested_a/d58fl4k?st=irbhrfl5&sh=1d8a1b9f

We might have fewer idiots and lunatics around if people listened to you.

reddit.com/r/Drama/comments/4sceeh/udarqwolff_got_arrested_last_month/d588s6s?st=irbhzhly&sh=c124bc4f

is his most recent thread - basically, him justifying his recent decisions to steal a car to get weed and to destroy his mom's bf's ACs and vandalize his property (tl;dr it was really hot, he was mad at the guy for not putting in the AC, and didn't want to do it himself).

>all this deluded smug, couldn't even bear to read all of it
>I spend most of my time in the Reddit brony community
KEK, the perfect capstone.

He should of known when I volunteered to play the cleric.

How on earth is it possible for any human being to be this egotistical and full of shit?

everything sounds fine but the human flesh part. And that only depends on if the actual tone of the campaign is against it.

this guy sounds like a parody of a stereotypical reddit user

> see his mugshot

i've seen this guy before at NYCC a year or 2 ago he got in an argument with a buddy of mine while we were waiting in line for a panel and then proceeded to literally shit his pants in front of me & my buddy.

I got 1/3 of the way through that.

I'm not a violent person. When my roommate's psychotic girlfriend threw a beer bottle at my face, I just called the cops. When a guy grabbed my ass, I just told him to not to do that again.

But if I was locked in a room with this douchebag, I would smash his head into a wall until his eyes popped out.

>First year in college
>Meet a guy who never really played D&D
>Get together a group of friends who mostly haven't played before
>Me and one friend have played before but haven't DMed before.
>We're willing to give it a shot and my friend starts working on a Norse setting
>I help the others with their character sheets and general rules
>The guy doesn't want to make his character sheet and tells me to just pick stuff for him
>I guess that's alright
>Fast forward a month
>Friend is 2/3rds done with the campaign
>The guy says he doesn't want to bother learning Norse mythology
>We tell him it's not that important or hard
>Says he wants a world he's familiar with or one that's simple
>I start working on a Forgotten Realms setting, because I think it's pretty simple
>3 weeks into planning, he says he doesn't like fantasy
>Get irked, but decide to shelf the Forgotten Realms setting
>Start working on a zombie apocalypse set in modern times
>Starts flaking out on us when we try to ask him schedule
>Eventually he flat out says we should do a Star Wars campaign for him.
>He wanted to play a jedi

That hurts user

Kek, I keep feeling like "aw, he's new, maybe he just didn't get it or was nervous" but then I realize this is absolutely childish behavior that normal people would never stand for outside of tabletop.

>Be on /tg
>Improve in any way
HA.
Man, pick one.

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU-

That is possibly the most 13 year old thing I have ever read.

I want to see the images he uploaded.

I can't even be mad.
It would be like getting mad at an incontinent guy for shitting himself.