This is your paladin for the day

Does it make a difference?

Is that a skirt, you weak legged Culter fag?

So is it a boy or a girl?

You don't really care. Let go of that last vestige of pride and just masturbate like your heart desires.

Yes

>for the day
I like this paladin. Can I keep it?

This is your Warlock for the day.

But.. I'm the paladin. Guys, why are you interviewing paladins? G-guys?

This is your Fighter for the day.

Until you learn that ghosts are not "always evil" you will remain on the naughty step.

>Rider of "Black"

Black team, user

You're not cute.

Kek, that actually works. Roland once mistook Astolfo for a girl, and Astolfo did some undercover dress-wearing at one point.

It was a tiefling ghost! It looked demonic! What was I supposed to do? NOT smite the whaling ghostly figure with demon horns, tail and fangs?

Man, fuck you too. Bet this new paladin doesn't even last a day with armor like that. No shield too.

RIP Gilly Rays, you were too kuuuru for this world

...looks more like a thrallherd. Psion works too though.

You're still not cute.

>Am useless cleric
>Party has been talking about replacing me
Noooo! Begone! We don't need you!

>Man, fuck you too. Bet this new paladin doesn't even last a day with armor like that. No shield too.
You'll never get a boyfriend with that attitude.

All kinds of wrong. As expected of someone who plays Psions.

Try being a useful cleric? Al least a cute one? Nobody dumps a cute healer.

Hell with this noise, good luck in your interviews. I'm going to find a new adventuring party. One that appreciates proper paladins.
...and stop saying I need a boyfriend. Everybody knows you shag your animal companion every night you filthy druid.

>Try being a useful cleric?
I am! The dice hate me though

>Al least a cute one?
It's all I have going for me now

>Nobody dumps a cute healer.
It's not helping

>Everybody knows you shag your animal companion every night you filthy druid.
Right, because the party doesn't have a better fucktoy right now.

Then hire a party mascot, that's what they're for!
Or you know, bathe a little and you might be able to get the 'grateful townsfolk' in your bed.
I swear I'm the only one who's ever heard of bedding a tavern wench in this party, and we have an actual barbarian hero who just sharpens his sword. And don't get me started on broody mcbroodface the rogue either.

>that swimming pool

You can't take turns pumping a grateful townsperson full of cum in the middle of a dungeon. You want a cumdump that can defend itself so you don't have to constantly replace it.

This is your healer for the day.

I'm curious how the healing occurs, but not sure i want to see it firsthand

I'm feeling better already, honest, no need for her services.

Why is he wearing that ridiculous outfit? We have an image to hold here!

Astolfo really does sound like a high level RPG character. He's got all sorts of crazy magic items and goes on an adventure looking for his cousin's lost wits, which he finds on the moon.

I know, right? White, black and gold is so last season.

Black and gold are actually going to be reasonably strong choices heading into this fall. And white is always a good color in the summer.

I know you're making a joke, but I want to make sure you're making smart fashion decisions.

>Black and gold are actually going to be reasonably strong choices heading into this fall.
How come?

Sunlight is softer in autumn and winter, so you typically want bolder colors don't get washed out easily.

Colors tend to be fairly cyclical, even as trends change. Colors haven't been a significant part of trends since at least the early 00s.

Just for the day?

I'm fucking protecting that healer.

>Roland once mistook Astolfo for a girl
wot? where?

Is he a Rider Servant due to that episode with the hippogriff and the quick trip to Eden or am I missing something here? You would think that most legendary paladins like him would become Sabers.

He also had a horse made of hurricanes and fire that can run faster than an arrow without leaving a trace, a lance that is powerful enough to dehorse another knight with only a slight touch, a horn that makes anyone who hears it run away in fear, and a magic book full of spells to break any enchantment whatsoever.

Some heroes can fill in the shoes of multiple classes. Arturia can be a Lancer and Rider too, Heracles can be anything besides Assassin and Caster, Cu Chulainn can also be a Saber, Berserker and Caster. The list goes on. Astolfo just happened to be a Rider in this iteration.

>a horse made of hurricanes and fire that can run faster than an arrow without leaving a trace
W-what...

I'm pretty sure that Astolfo also is more than qualified to be a Saber, Lancer and even Caster. MAYBE Berserker too, but Roland/Orlando fits better in this class.

>Astolfo possesses various magical equipment which he employs throughout his adventures. His magic lance can knock his opponents from their horses with the slightest touch, and his magic book contains spells capable of breaking any enchantment. He also owns a magic horn whose blast is so loud that it causes all enemies to flee in terror and rides upon a horse named Rabicano. This magical horse is made of hurricane and flame, feeds on air and it treads so lightly that it doesn't leave footprints in the sand, and when it runs at full speed it can run faster than an arrow.
Yes.

This is your saint for the day. Treat with care and keep away from beaches, hotels and other places where English tourists gather.

Any good Astolfo doujinshi yet?

See the bag on her left side, by her foot? The healing potions are there. But when you absolutely positively need something DEAD, call the one who knows exactly what can and can't be cured.

No, THIS is my paladin for the day.
Can't give me a boner if I'm already rock-hard, baby.

Some legends include Arthur/Arthuria as being in possession of a dagger called Carnwennan, which had magical powers that could shroud him/her in shadow.

So, technically, Arthur/Arthuria COULD POTENTIALLY be summoned as an assassin, if it wasn't for the whole 'muh honor' thing.

I think there's something wrong with my saint

IIRC, there's a line in one of the works on the Peers where Astolfo is said to be more beautiful than any woman, so that might be what he's referring to.

Why the hell are we hiring companions from a temp agency?

>This is your saint for the day
You mean all day erryday, right?

What's wrong with your faaaace

>That sword
How is she going to combine her vow to not kill anyone by her own hand with her vow to smack every prostitute in France over the head?

>40k
What's wrong with you?

Ever since the demon lord got killed, the demand for active heroes has been plummeting and the paladin orders stopped doing active raids on demon-infested lands. Temp agency's the only place to find good work.

I don't follow

You let the Warlock, get near it.
That was a bad idea

>Red Hair
>Not the pale yellow almost white of Saber Alter
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

This is your Wizard for the day

How can you say no to this face?

...