An angry mob of peasants plus the local town guard has come to kill your PC

they all die because my character is paranoid and plans for everyone he ever meets to betray and attempt to kill him

My PC tells them that he is from an old aristocratic household that are direct vassals to The Queen; serves as a commissioned officer in her distinguished professional army; and has the noble seal and uniform to prove all of it. Putting him to death without a formal trial would be a serious crime.

But then again they wouldn't give a shit (the town guard is in on it too) and his subsequent beating and 'mysterious disappearance' would be blamed on a local organised crime mob. His family is also too insignificant in the aristocratic world for most people to care about. My PC is also an incompetent swordsman, lacks an advantageous position to shoot from, and he doesn't have enough arrows to inflict enough casualties to scare the rest of the lynch mob away. He's fucked.

The bound devil serving as gatekeeper to my semi-fortified garden manor turns them away with a slew of painful and embarrassing injuries, but avoids killing anyone.

>Playing a paladin of Bahamut
Either I fucked up royally and didn't notice doing something so bad I may have fallen, or something fucky is going on.
Guess he greets them and asks what's up with all the er, pitchforks everyone? Look, she said she was unmarried I swear.

Pic not my character, but related and cute enough to post

I'm currently playing two right one.
If the cleric:
The cleric would first try to pacify them with magic, negotiate and then reluctantly start fighting them if they had too.

If the battlemage:
The battlemage would start throwing fireballs and firewalls to massacre and divide their numbers, and go 2 hand swinging at them with a great sword.

Current PC is a half-ogre mercenary. They get rekt and then I loot the bodies.

>World currently over run by (Super) Orcs, and undead.
>World is an arctic wasteland
>Underdog Humans fighting back
>There are VERY few humans.

Ok. DM. Explain.

Are these Orc Guards because I am killing those anyway. Or are these humans? Because I'd be more "Oh thank god more humans," myself then worrying about them trying to lench me.

But I don't think I'd have anything to fear from either at this point in my career.

I run away and plot to come back when I am level 20 and can turn them all into babies

15th level Evocation-based Wizard.

They're basically fucked.

Playing Black Crusade right now so:
1) This wasn't entirely unexpected and,
2) Those peasants and cops will regret at least one decision they made today.

You know, our Khornate punched a fully-armoured Arbites Judge to death. We're heavily armed.

...We'll still be fucked if they mob us and we can't scare them off. The numbers alone would kill us.

For now.

My wizard could probably set enough of them on fire to make them back off and allow for an escape, but might very well hesitate to kill so many people, run away, get cornered, and die.

Amusingly this isn't an unlikely scenario given that i'm about to have the town guard commander and his cronies arrested and executed for corruption and dereliction of duty. The guard and mob are going to have a lot of difficulty getting into my fortified mansion without siege weapons. They're also going to have a difficult time overcoming my cadre of high rent mercenaries. Or those of my allies who will no doubt come to my aid. Most of all though, my character is a Toreador vampire with Presence 5 and nothing beats Majesty for crowd control.

So the result is the crowd will disperse, the town guard will be executed, and a new town guard will be formed from those citizens loyal to me and my allies.

Good point. We're pretty heavily armed but I think our real saving grace would be all the grenades we stocked up.

And by all the grenades I mean if someone fumbles a toss we might smoke an entire hab block.

Not good, but he'd have tons of fun while dying.
Not sure if anyone even knows the setting but playing "The Dark Eye" atm, and I made a Barbarian with 17 Strength (14 is the max you can buy at creation without extra perks), the biggest barbarian axe there is & all the survivability perks I could get and bloodrage, arrogance, anger issues as negative characteristics.
So yeah, he'd hack half of them down before going down like a sack.

My half-elf Sorcerer would take one look at the crowd, wonder what the hell she said (she grew up incredibly sheltered, doesn't get social interaction), cast Expeditious Retreat and Misty Step as needed to get out of town.

... oh, and burn the town to the ground behind her, because I roll for Wild Magic with every spell I cast.

You are now getting violently gang-raped by a peasant mob and a whole town guard.

How does your character fare?

>beholder mage pc
>"How did you...find this place? No matter..."
>quickened time stop
>evard's tentacles
>cast defensive spells, become invincible
>Wait till time stop ends
>mass insanity

Then he'd probably wait until the strongest one was left and turn him to stone, leaving him in his lair while feeding the rest of the townspeople to my dire tortoises.

>wizard specializing in fire based magic
Human BBQ is on the menu.

Since mob requires at least 10+ people to form, I hit tails at first sign of them. I can't fight them all, but I can still outrun them all.

>14 year old Eva pilot
If I get to the robot, I'm fine. If not, I'm fucked.
Funny thing, it would probably be easier just to kill myself, but NERV wouldn't appreciate having to bring me back. Again.

>An angry mob of peasants plus the local town guard has come to kill your PC
>Black Crusade
Oh, is it Emperor's Day again already?

pretty ok. my current dude has a thing for fucking with npcs in ultimately non threatening ways so he'd probably just stop time, steal their weapons and place them firmly up their rear ends, take his stuff then leave.

Already happened once. I was a mid-level evil cleric in a evil campaign. The character fared well enough considering how the peasants could only hit him on crits, but almost all of his considerable entourage of gnolls and mercs got wiped out and he was forced to negotiate.

On the flipside a few sessions later we turned that against the rival good party, springing an ambush of 40+ longbow-armed shit farmers on them when they tried to take a town from us. I think we even killed one of them.

It sounds cool when you say it, but I want you to stop and imagine having to pull down the filthy undergarments of every single last peasant in the mob to insert farming implements into their dirty assholes.

Unless your character has some strange fetishes, I can't imagine him enjoying it.

The Pathfinder rogue probably just flies away.

The Dresden werewolf probably kicks a few asses just for inconveniencing her, and then bounces

>Who is that stranger?
> He says hes a paladin of "Bahamut" or something like that
>What? whats a Bamaoot?
>Friar Jonas said a Bamhaitoot is a dragon
>A DRAGON? THAT MAN WORKS FOR THAT FUCKING DRAGON THAT KEEPS DESTROYING OUR VILLAGE? KILL HIM!

She's shoots the nearest peasant in the kneecap with her revolver (the only known firearm in the region, possibly the world) and then rolls her +14 intimidate.
If the Intimidate roll goes well, she'll fare brilliantly (think Ash from that scene in Army of Darkness), if the gm has it in for me that day then I'll get torn apart after gunning down a few of them, because gunslingers suck in melee.

You're making it more complicated than it needs to be. Just ram them through the pants and away you go.

>Play Dark Heresy
>Above scenario plays out against me (assassin) and friend (psyker) in the lower levels of a hive city
>Whip out hallucinogenic grenade, throw into crowd, and shout "HERETICS!" to alert nearby Ecclesiarchy building.
>Roll comes up as "I'll take you all on" which makes all affected parties within 30 feet to attack nearest target or something
>Mob is now fighting itself, Nuns with Guns are moving in, and I just book it.
>Friend tries to use psyker powers to get away faster
>Immediately Perils
>Immediately becomes a Daemonhost
>I run faster to escape the section-wide firebombing

Moral of the Story: My team will accept every Ogryn, Sister of Battle and Feral Worlder as a recruit as long as the other team takes all of the psykers.

What is the version of this post against superheroes?

Yeah, I'm a support wizard, not a damage wizard. I get the fuck out of dodge, using aerial travel if needs be.

Cast my only 3rd level spell (Fly) and get to the roof of the tallest building in town where I stashed a invisibility scroll after we busted the mayor for running a child sex slavery ring.

rolling circumference

Rolled 10 (1d20)

oops

Well, first my character yells at whoever in the party had the bright idea to rely on the hospitality of those Middenland savages and not expect this to happen. Then I try to pick out a ringleader from the crowd, open fire with my pistol, hopefully without it shredding my arm this time (shoddy Rieklander workmanship, they were probably drunk on watered wine and being fucked up the ass by their burly norscan bodyguard while they were building it).

If the knight can't then use his noble heritage and booming voice to send the local inbreds back to their homes, have the Bright Wizard start setting light to the buildings and escape while they're distracted. Preferably without the Bright Wizard having another little 'mishap' with her magic.

Vow to never comes this far south again, back to Osterland for me, at least there all you've got to worry about is beastmen, and mutants, and northmen, and demons, and fucking Talabeclanders, Sigmar preserve me I fucking hate Talabeclanders.

You manage to take 10 dicks at once. Roll for bleed.

Poorly. We'll likely manage to escape, burning the town down in the process.

As the peasants approach the colorfully dressed traveller with the wizards staff, they notice that a tremendous force is holding them in place. The wizard sighs "Assaulting an innocent traveller like this is deplorable. This first time, I shall forgive it. If it happens again in this village, I will kill every one of those who are here with a weapon - and I never forget a face. Discite, moniti!" With these words, he disappears into thin air. After about half an hour, the power fades as well.

Probably yell at them to get back to worshipping the God-Emperor, as it is 7pm on a Friday, and I'm a member of the ecclesiarchy.

Shoggy?

No, I am not Shoggy.

They're peasants, user. Literacy is not in their cards.

Drunken Fist (Monk): One failed roll and the entire mob bursts into laughter for 2 rounds; I need less than 1 turn of combat to auto-move 50ft in any direction if nobody is actively and deliberately paying some form of attention to me, through any barriers, obstacles or anything else; immediate expeditious retreat from special boots and GTFO.

Half Dragon-Dragon: Fog Cloud, Mass; Control Weather: Sleet/Snow; Cloud Walking out of there.

(Unbreakable) Fighter: Roll my +30 Intimidate with a heavy reminder that I have power cleaved my way through mountains and I can do it again to these people.

I ignore them. Freedom of movement + damage reduction out the ass.

Probably well, she's possibly unkillable by conventional means.

3.5 Wizard, what do you think?
get ass-raped, I'm only level 4

Current PC is a Dark Knight who swore to protect the common folk from the abuses of the ruling class and those who have power.

So she'd probably run away without harming them or just let them kill her.

Not fuckin well.

Badly

At least it's not an orphanage attacking you this time.

...

I run low magic horror games. The players best options are to run and split up.

the caster is fucked unless someone carries her

Mowed down by a Maxim gun and zombified

And this would be a problem why?

They fare well.

I take the guise of my secret identity, a simple town thug named Joshua Graham. I then join the mob until they give up looking for me, and leave town after having a drink a the pub, post-mob.

Finish summoning Nar'Sie, because that was my job from the beginning.

>Joshua Graham
>literally stealing names from main-steam and massively successful video games

At least have some character and have your secret identity or bogus name be something humorous, like Burt Reynolds or Jimmy Reese.

I just came up with a name on the spot and stuck with it.

Where is the name from?

Considering I'm the DM, not very well.

Though if we're talking the last time I played a character... still not very well. Paladins are fucking good in 5e, man.

Google it. Christ.

You accuse me of stealing a random name from a "massively successful" video game and you cant even name it?

Fuck off.

you forgot to say "nothing personnel, kids" after *teleporting*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Fallout New Vegas you dumb cunt.
I'm giving you shit because you should know this. It would be like not knowing who Darth Revan is. Please tell me you know at least that much.

>peasants
>illiterate

Ah yes, American Education.

I've never played any of those games.

I don't really play a lot of video games.

If he knew it was coming, then Ongar the Cleric of Bellophant would try his damndest to scare the shit out of them as he pulled a tactical retreat.

He'd rely on his armour and shield to keep him alive while he cast a few spells on himself to make him even harder to kill (Shield of Faith, Aid, etc) and follow those up with a Balor Nimbus spell to ward off anyone who was thinking of grappling him. He'd use what magic he had left to compel the biggest threats to drop to their knees and worship, while he withdrew to his horse and hoped he could mount it quickly enough to escape.

All things considered, Ongar ends up either in the middle of the wilds, wounded but alive, or dismembered and placed on spikes around the village as a warning to anyone else who dared to worship the true nature of Bellophant instead of the lies they tell themselves.

user, I think he's well aware of where it's from.

he wants you to google it so you feel dumb when your realize what it's from.

however he's also autistic and shouldn't be so upset over someone not knowing a side-character from a DLC for a somewhat popular video game that came out several years ago

>It would be like not knowing who Darth Revan

joshua graham is not a famous character user.

I know that upsets you because you think he's cool and he's from your favorite video game, but calm down, and realize that not everybody has the exact same interests and taste as you do

Thanks user.

I think other-user is looking for /v/

>she's weaker against single targets
bad luck for them as peasants and guardsmen tend to be married

Depends, what kind of guard are we speaking of?
City-state guardsmen are all high level mages, therefore fighting any considerable number of them alone is suicide. Utterly impossible..
Normal kingdoms/towns guardsmen are at best level 6, and those are the guard captains, and lack any magic. Can't really do much.
I can take on as many peasants as you throw at me.

So, normal guard + peasants, easy win.
City-state guard +/- peasants, crushing defeat.

Peasant mobs in D&D 3.5 are pretty dangerous (30d6 in a turn if they get to swarm you), but a Circle of Death and a few fireballs will surely make short work of them.

who's darth raven?

I'm pretty fucked

A pretty cool space wizard samurai.

so is she a NPC from spelljammer or something? from some obscure gurps module?

He's from the newest Star Trek film

Ah, thanks. Is there a darth crow perchance?

There's only one bird, Darth Raven. Never more.

So they're just a Star Trek rip off of the Sith from EVE Online then, got it.

Some more party drama with the 'Robin Hood' thief, the paladin and the druid on one side and the evocator and evil priest/ sorcerer on the other. Exactly what this late stage epic level campaign needed.

Don't listen to him, he's making fun of you.
Darth Raven is from a fairly obscure book written by Franz Kafka, the Bird. The whole point of the book is that despite of what others try to tell the titular bird, Darth Raven, he's not the only bird, there's a whole flock. It's a clear metaphor for the class struggle so apartament at the beginning of the XX century.

>wood elf lvl 18 Sun soul monk/Rogue 2 with the mobile feat

Bomb them to death and stay untouchable by ways of lightspeed.

Dude, I played through the Zion DLC and even I couldn't remember that guy's name. Calm the fuck down.

Very well.

A whole town of willing test subjects, perfect.

Caliban with fucking freakish pure white skin who looks like the uncanny valley fucked Prince Nuada from Hellboy Two who through hard work and slightly noble birth managed to join the Lamp lighters. Do you really think this is the first time a local guard and mob has chased him with murder in mind? It failed then, at least partially because he can see in the dark and they can't without torches. It will fail again as he's only gotten stealthier.

They're unable to find my character.

I want to play again, damnit.

That's the saddest answer of all.
May you play again soon brother.