Hey you

>hey you
>yes all of you, halt
>caught this wretch lifting fruit from a witch's stall and she just fingered you as her guardians
>now you can pay 20 coppers or I can finish hauling her off to give her a real piece of my mind
>I don't mind either way, just make it quick

Cut her horns off. Should fetch a good price and clear her debts.

A WITCH'S stall?!

Why is the bad man grabbing that cute goat-loli's horns.

I proceed to punch his nose in for manhandling my daughter, she is a kid that took some fruit not a hardened criminal.

"I will pay you twenty SILVERS if you can explain why that's worth stopping us in the middle of the street."

>witch's stall
Smite the witch and her co-conspirator, praise the little goat girl for doing her part to undermine the economic power of dark magic practitioners.

Give her a good talking to about lying and claiming I was her guardian, ask her what her situation really is, and depending on the answer either return her home or bring her to the nearest temple of my order, they'll look after her there and she can grow up to smite evil too someday, or take on a less militaristic role, that's fine too.

Also pat her on the head because she's adorable.

>a witch's stall
You're coming with me, somny-jim! You're charged with aiding and abbetting with witchcraft most foul and you shall point out all your fellow conspirators or face pain and the stake! Bring that abomination too, it must be slain anyway.

The inquistion offices are going to be busy tonight

>Whatever. It's not my problem man.

Seriously. It's not even about trying to frustate the DM trying to put a loli or lolibait in the group. Is about not wanting to care for a fucking child when I'm trying to stop a blood civil war from breaking out. Is it this easy to shoehorn groups with vulnerable depends and I'm too callous, or the whole shebang is indeed played out?

>witch's stall

This entire village must be purged. Excuse me while I gather an angry mob.