FUCKING ADVENTURERS THESE DAYS, THINKING THEY CAN JUST WALTZ IN AND STEAL FROM MY HORDE. MY. HORDE. MOST OF THE STUFF IN HERE IS OLDER THAN THOSE PATHETIC MEATBAGS!
COME ON YOU SOFT-SCALED FAGGOTS, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES IN HAVING YUOR HORDE RAIDED.
I have a collection of human dildos
i bet you dress up in human clothes, fucking humey
So ancient and you don't even know you're trying to protect your 'hoard'. Stupid lizard, you deserve to have your head cut off.
RIGHT SO I WAS WATCHNG MY GOLD, YOU KNOW, GOOD HORDE, GOOD LIFE, ALMOST READY TO GO FUCK UP THAT PILE OF WOOODEN SHIT THOSE SOFT SKINS CALL A DEN, THEN SOME FUCKING FAGGOT WALKS INTO MY ***MY*** FUCKNIG HORDE, SO I GRAB THE FUCKING SHIT BAG WITH MY MOUTH, FLY UP AND THROW THE FUCKER OFF MY GODDAMNED MOUNTAIN, AND YOU KNOW FUCKING WHAT? tHE SON OF A BITCH STOLE MY BEST FUCKING RING, THAT DUMB MOTHER FUCKING BLOCK HEAD SOFT SKIN TOOK MY FUCKING RING, I HAD TO SEARCH FOR IT FOR HOURS WITH MORE DISPHIT SOFT SKINS FIRING SOME FUCKING STICKS AT ME THINKING THEY WEREN'T TOTALLY INSIGNIFICANT, GOD FUCK THESE TINY PRICKS
So Draco-therapist suggests I do one of those 1000 year sleeps. The kind just to get a good night sleep.
Fucking. Adventures. Bust into my chamber. Wake me up. So at that point I am pissed that they woke me up in the middle of my sleep, I am tossing insults at that and threatening the little mites just to get them to leave. I must have said something like "Burn their whole world down", and now they are on a quest to end me or fear of my destroying the universe.
I mean I COULD, we all could, but we don't. Dragon pact and all that shit. Just... fuck. Adventures. You drop one line and it becomes their new crusade.
Do humans make sense to you?
I ,mean they send ships full of horses and treasure, I sink ship eat horses and steal treasure, and they get angry?
Why? Is it not for me?
WHAT REALLY GETS ME IS, ARE THESE HAIRLESS APES REALLY AFRAID THAT ANY OF US WOULD ACTUALLY DESTROY THE UNIVERSE? I MEAN, HELLO? WE LIVE HERE. IN THE UNIVERSE. WHY THE FUCK WOULD WE DESTROY IT. DO THEY KILL THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY'RE AFRAID THEY'LL BURN DOWN THEIR OWN HOUSES OR WHATEVER?
FUCK, SERIOUSLY.
It's all about playing the game, man. Pick your battles and you can make those morons work for you.
When I have adventurers roll up, I invite those fuckers to dinner, do the whole 'polite yet scary' host thing, and then challenge 'em to a test, to win some treasure. I've spent years coming up with these awesome traps and obstacles and shit, and compared to fighting a dragon, they're almost always up for giving it a go in exchange for some trinket I wouldn't miss.
Sure, I lose some treasure every now and then, but I gain way, way more from the number of them who die in the attempt. And it's fuckin' entertaining.
>he doesn't fight them despite them winning the challenge
Get a load of this scaly faggot