Veeky Forums, I need wise sounding phrases, kohans, pseudo-deep bullshit and perhaps even tidbits of actual...

"Not everything has two sides"

The deepest puddle is but a drop of water compared to the most shallow ocean.

Only in concealing one's identity, can one truly be known.

Sometimes clouds have two sides, a dark and light, and a silver lining in between. It's like a silver sandwich. So, when life seems hard, take a bite out of the silver sandwich.

“Is it not written, ’I have only one pair of hands’ ?”

leaves from the vine
falling so slow
Like fragile, tiny shells
Drifting in the foam
Little soldier boy
Come marching home
Brave soldier boy
Comes marching home
Mako gonna come back as a lich, right guys?

Experience is the harshest of teachers, for it gives the test first, and then the lesson.

“When you get to my age and you notice things in the sky. You start worrying they might be vultures.”

People seldom are as important as they think they are.

Art is just a running horse swimming in a fish bowl

In a little while, you will have forgotten everything; in a little while everything will have forgotten you.

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

Freedom is to sell what others find unsellable

The big sea does not care which way the little fishes swim.

The answer is out there, and you need to look for it. You will never find it sitting on your ass and waiting for it to fall out of the sky.

Because dreams are built.

Treat every gun as loaded.

When you point your finger at someone, you are pointing the rest of your fingers back at yourself.

To learn who truly rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.

Flowing from my brush
Glowing on my screen
Four lines readable in any order
The essence of thread safety

Be nice to the people you meet on the way up, because you'll see them again on the way down.

A man is not a man untill he finds a cause worth dying for.

Opinions are like assholes -- everyone has one, and nobody thinks theirs stinks.

The human fear of death is just a flickering candle on a river of doubt

The two things you need to make someone happy is a bomb and some ingenuity

And so, a monk in his wanderings came to the edge of a rushing stream.

There he beheld a scorpion, caught in the current and drowning.

"Save me," cried the scorpion.

And so the monk pulverized the scorpion with his fist.

Nothing matters. This also applies to the fact that nothing matters, therefore everything matters exactly as much as you want it to.

You may not want to change, but the world is unkind and will do it for you anyways.

If you poop on a clock, you will have a shitty time.

Too soon.

You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you

If you greet a man with an open palm, he'll never see the first slap coming.

Regret is unavoidable, a part of every life. Don't let the fear of it give you pause in your journey, for it will only fuel itself.

Anyone can die for something. It takes devotion to live for something.

He who walks alongside death treasures life

Life is but theatrics; everyone wears a mask and plays their part

You can see more with your eyes closed; the mind's eye sees through deception

Magic is twenty percent skill, five percent luck and seventy-five percent will power

Where there is a will, there's a way

Fly like the butterfly; strike like the wasp

Freedom first comes from the mind

Even steel can bend

Life is fragile yet strong, cruel yet tender

Don't die for what you believe in. Make your enemy die for what HE believes in.

"One should not confuse the unscathed with the strong. The unscathed knows not the extent of its weakness, whereas within the strong lies the frail whose mettle was tempered by the trials of time."

This one is translated from a poem I wrote in French:
"Anger is the refuge of sadness,
Look within, understand your distress,
For shelters built under duress,
Are the first to become worthless."

"Les émotions sont rarement ce qu’elles paressent,
Naïvement relâchées, elles se font traîtresses,

La colère est le refuge de la tristesse,
Gratte sa surface et voit ce qui te blesse,
Car les abris choisis dans la détresse,
Sont les premiers à tomber en pièces,

Sombrer dans l’espoir, cette enivrante caresse,
À laquelle on veut croire jusqu'à l’ivresse,
Prêt à tout pour conserver cette allégresse,
On fuit le désespoir et la sagesse,

La peur se prouve souvent enchanteresse,
Elle nous vend comme confort, de fuir la tristesse,
Caché dans un château fort, une forteresse,
Joie et bonheur sont les coûts de cette promesse,

Sans doutes, nul n’échappent à ces maladresses,
L’essentiel est de s’en sortir de justesse."

I'm hesitant to tout my own horn, but I've found myself referring to my own poem whenever emotions caused me trouble.

How is a horse like a mountain?

It isn't

True self is without form.

Consider only victory. Make defeat an impossibility in your mind.

Overconfidence is a flimsy shield.

Justice is defined by the hand that holds it.

Death is whimsical today.

Free your mind.

I dreamt I was a butterfly.

You are a god until you prove otherwise.

>Magic is twenty percent skill, five percent luck and seventy-five percent will power
>not ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will, five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain

There is no greater curse than an overactive imagination.

...

Curiosity never killed anything but a couple of hours.

The world is a shitty place. And it will actively shit on you, hoping you break down and spread the shittines. Don't fucking let the world win.

>Early bird gets the worm, second mouse gets the cheese.
>Kindness is contagious. So is gonorrhea.
>It is better to have loved and lost than to have loved and gotten syphilis.
>Fortune favors those who shoot the bold in their stupid bold faces.
>Live each day like it's your last. Especially today.

"if you immediately know the candle light is fire, then the meal was cooked long ago" - stargate

Here's an original I use almost every day in my job:

"Good assumptions only make an ass out of you and me. Bad assumptions make an ass out of everyone involved."

"I don't have anything enlightening to say today. I'm not a fucking magic eight-ball. Figure it out yourself."

Learn what interest is and how it works before getting a loan.

"Anything other than the pursuit of immortality is a waste of time"

"Do unto others as they would do unto you, and do it first"

"All morality is relative; this does not make your own values or ethics any less valid, or any less deserving of action"

"Ultimately, all things are voluntary. The only control you have over others is to manipulate incentives"

"Failure is only assured when you accept it"

"History is a story and we are collectively its author; let us make it, if not a good story, at least an interesting one"

On average, people regret not doing something right more than doing something wrong.

Act acordingly.

Time for fortune cookie fodder

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.

A bit of fragrance clings to the hand that gives flowers.

A book holds a house of gold.

A book is like a garden carried in the pocket.

A book tightly shut is but a block of paper.

A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark.

A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections.

A filthy mouth will not utter decent language.

A fool judges people by the presents they give him.

A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man perfected without trials.

A nation's treasure is in its scholars.

A rat who gnaws at a cat's tail invites destruction.

Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.

Be the first to the field and the last to the couch.

Deep doubts, deep wisdom; small doubts, little wisdom.

Dig the well before you are thirsty.

Do good, reap good; do evil, reap evil.

Do not employ handsome servants.

Do not fear going forward slowly; fear only to stand still.

Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet.

Don't open a shop unless you like to smile.

Each generation will reap what the former generation has sown.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

He who is drowned is not troubled by the rain.

He who strikes the first blow admits he's lost the argument.

If heaven made him, earth can find some use for him.

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

If you bow at all, bow low.

If you don't want anyone to know, don't do it.

Keep your broken arm inside your sleeve.

Not until just before dawn do people sleep best; not until people get old do they become wise.

Raise your sail one foot and you get ten feet of wind.

Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself.

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water; but to walk on the earth.

The palest ink is better than the best memory.

To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.

When you drink the water, remember the spring.

When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other.

If you refuse to be made straight when you are green, you will not be made straight when you are dry.

When you have given nothing, ask for nothing.

Good habits result from resisting temptation.

Dwell not upon thy weariness, thy strength shall be according to the measure of thy desire.

Examine what is said, not him who speaks.

Make your bargain before beginning to plow.

Don't make use of another's mouth unless it has been lent to you.

Seize opportunity by the beard, for it is bald behind.

Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.

The big thieves hang the little ones.

When you go to buy, use your eyes, not your ears.

Ask advice only of your equals.

He who would leap high must take a long run.

A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.

A full cup must be carried steadily.

Don't fall before you're pushed.

Use soft words and hard arguments.

"Having no destination, I am never lost."

“Studying texts and stiff meditation can make you lose your Original Mind.
A solitary tune by a fisherman, though, can be an invaluable treasure.
Dusk rain on the river, the moon peeking in and out of the clouds;
Elegant beyond words, he chants his songs night after night.”

“fucking flattery, success, money. I just sit back and suck my thumb.”

“that stone Buddha deserves all the birdshit it gets. I wave my skinny arms like a tall flower in the wind"

“don't hesitate get laid, that's wisdom. Sitting around chanting, what crap”

Poop?

If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.

Write down the advice of him who loves you, though you like it not at present.

Wait until it is night before saying that it has been a fine day.

A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.

Charity sees the need not the cause.

Never give advice unless asked.

Who begins too much accomplishes little.

First secure an independent income, then practice virtue.

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

Keep five yards from a carriage, ten yards from a horse, and a hundred yards from an elephant; but the distance one should keep from a wicked man cannot be measured.

Praise youth and it will prosper.

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.

If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot.

It is not enough to aim; you must hit.

The best armor is to keep out of range.

Don't stay long when the husband is not at home.

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

If you believe everything you read, better not read.

Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.

One kind word can warm three winter months.

The reverse side also has a reverse side.

When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.

Ask about your neighbors, then buy the house.

Don't be sweet, lest you be eaten up; don't be bitter, lest you be spewed out.

Don't live in a town where there are no doctors.

Don't look for more honor than your learning merits.

He that can't endure the bad, will not live to see the good.

If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.

Make sure to be in with your equals if you're going to fall out with your superiors.

Rejoice not at thine enemy's fall - but don't rush to pick him up either.

What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth.

Programming advice. If there's a chance that instructions might be performed in a different order, make sure that every possible order works and not just the one you write them in.

Behind every nipple, a titty awaits.

Worries go down better with soup than without.

Do not throw the arrow which will return against you.

If the wind will not serve, take to the oars.

It is the part of a good shepherd to shear his flock, not to skin it.

Never give a child a sword.

A smiling face is half the meal.

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm.

Trumpet in a herd of elephants; crow in the company of cocks; bleat in a flock of goats.

Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins.

Hold a true friend with both hands.

If you wish your merit to be known, acknowledge that of other people.

Use your enemy's hand to catch a snake.

Go often to the house of thy friend; for weeds soon choke up the unused path.

Better be ill spoken of by one before all than by all before one.

What may be done at any time will be done at no time.

Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.

Drink nothing without seeing it; sign nothing without reading it.

If you want to be respected, you must respect yourself.

Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.

Take hold lightly; let go lightly. This is one of the great secrets of felicity in love.

Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.

Don't let your sorrow come higher than your knees.

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.

Buy on the rumor; sell on the news.

Be honorable yourself if you wish to associate with honorable people.

Complain to one who can help you.

If you wish to know what a man is, place him in authority.

>Watch the fucking backblast.
-Sun Tzu, the Art of War

Don't ever allow your morals to prevent you from doing what is right.

Basically my philosophy, if there is no objective meaning for anything all the meaning in the universe comes from you. I call it optimistic nihilism.

...

Divide and conquer, a fine motto. Unite and lead, a better one.

Gasan instructed his adherents one day: "Those who speak against killing and who desire to spare the lives of all conscious beings are right. It is good to protect even animals and insects. But what about those persons who kill time, what about those who are destroying wealth, and those who destroy political economy? We should not overlook them. Furthermore, what of the one who preaches without enlightenment? He is killing Buddhism."

---

Yamaoka Tesshu, as a young student of Zen, visited one master after another. He called upon Dokuon of Shokoku.

Desiring to show his attainment, he said: "The mind, Buddha, and sentient beings, after all, do not exist. The true nature of phenomena is emptiness. There is no relaization, no delusion, no sage, no mediocrity. There is no giving and nothing to be received."

Dokuon, who was smoking quietly, said nothing. Suddenly he whacked Yamaoka with his bamboo pipe. This made the youth quite angry.

"If nothing exists," inquired Dokuon, "where did this anger come from?"

---

Buddha said: "I consider the positions of kings and rulers as that of dust motes. I observe treasures of gold and gems as so many bricks and pebbles. I look upon the finest silken robes as tattered rags. I see myriad worlds of the universe as small seeds of fruit, and the greatest lake in India as a drop of oil on my foot. I perceive the teachings of the world to be the illusion of magicians. I discern the highest conception of emancipation as a golden brocade in a dream, and view the holy path of the illuminated ones as flowers appearing in one's eyes. I see meditation as a pillar of a mountain, Nirvana as a nightmare of daytime. I look upon the judgment of right and wrong as the serpentine dance of a dragon, and the rise and fall of beliefs as but traces left by the four seasons."

death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.

Except your thumb

That's called "existentialism."

Reminds me of this.

...

If you would be truly safe, surrender all freedom.

Beyond the specifics of circumstance, everyone lives the life they choose to live.

"People don't want freedom; they want autonomy"

If we live in a world of despair, we lose nothing from hoping.
If we live in a world of hope, we lose everything from despairing.

You must master your anger, or your anger will be your master

Don't go swingin' dead chickens over Florida swamps

Find something you'd willingly wake at 5 am to do, then figure out how to make money off it.

There are things more important than having a big dick.

When I wanted to play a wise, wandering monk I watched a lot of Monkey (the 70s TV series) and made notes on what the narrator and Tripitaka said.
monkeyheaven.com/narratorquotes.html

>The one who buggers a fire burns his penis

>even tidbits of actual, real wisdom for a character I am making.
Around Blacks, Never Relax

Give a man a fish, shame on you. Teach a man to fish, shame on me.

Arround elfs, watch yourself.

"Monetizing shitposts" doesn't return anything. Now what

No one said it was an easy one to figure out.

Question everything.

Never dismiss or take anything at face value.

Truth is a commodity, and the market is ruthless.

There can always be a deeper reason.

>"Remember, the biggest mistake in life is thinking that we are the protagonist in everyone else's story. We are only integral to our own stories, our own destinies. There are times where destinies cross between people, and there are times when people reach the same destiny, but it still does not change one's importance in the universe. We are but small parts of a whole, and exist only for a brief flash. There is sadness in this truth, but beauty as well. Now decide on your destiny, and burn brightly."

Events always have causes, but they do not always have reasons.