You have found an ancient lamp in an alley on your way home. Turns out a Djinn lives in it. He is reluctant but obligated to grant you one wish.
Grant the wish of the poster above you, but in a diabolical "be careful what you wish for" way. Then state your own wish.
I wish for the woman of my dreams!
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You receive a hot corpse as your dreams are dead or you recieve nothing as nothing in dreams are real or have physical substance.
I wish for unfettered omnipotence.
You gain unfettered omnipotence, but unfortunately for it to work you need to go to a completely different universe and start from scratch.
I wish for a million wishes.
Forgot your wish.
I want a pair of scissors that can cut anything.
Thats fucking perfect i hate this place and everything in it and this way i can make a universe with black jack and hookers with out the christians and muzzies getting uppity.
The scissors can cut anything, even without using the cutting part. You need to be extra careful when using them, otherwise you might cut yourself with them.
I wish for the main villain to be taken to Khatta Nadi "Sour River" from the Mandala of fortune.
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Wish granted.
You can wish a million times. Nobody will be there to grant them tho.
I'd like for both Trump and Hillary to get assassinated.
The main villain is taken there, looks at it once, then ends up right back where he started after arriving there briefly.
I wish to have a fat cock that turns women in sluts for it.
They cut themselves due to the shearing action inherent in all scissors. Roll a D2 to see if this dulls them or breaks reality.
You now have a million wishes that the genie is not obligated to fufill due to contract limitations.
I wish for a dick that sexually satisfies anyone, including me, i have any form of sexual intercourse with fully and utterly in ways no one can hope to compete with.