-Friend of PCs is missing -Brother of Friend knows, he is in City X -PCs go there by train (start of adventure) -PCs must ask local traders for info where they can find their friend -they get to know he´s living in a loghouse outside the city -they go there to find it empty -they find a tunnel in the cellar, that connects the house with a natural tunnel system -in the tunnels is an occult research station, that was used to inspect a temple, which is also connected to the tunnel system -to find their friend they go to the temple -there is a monster, they can only hurt with fire -final showdown
how can i add some death to the adventure? i´m not satisfied yet :/
thx guys!
Carson Price
OP here.
I mean depth, not death :D
Hunter Nelson
Looks very simple and linear. What hard choices will the players have to make here, other than "find tunnels, kill monster"?
Too simple, really, you need some complications.
Sure, add some more death to the adventure.
Ian Nguyen
Linearity isn't necessarily that bad, but there needs to be support for investigation and consequences/delays for missing the clues. OP should really consider running Trail of Cthulhu/Gumshoe.
Still, the story itself is pretty damn bland. "Friend" doesn't even have a reason to be in the temple, from what we've heard so far. Get some fuckin narrative arc in that thing, OP.
Charles Morris
>occult research station Do elaborate!
Jackson Jones
>Friend is missing Why do the PCs care? What connects them to the disappeared? What are their stakes in the outcome?
>local traders This needs to foreshadow dread. What seems wrong about them? Why is it a challenge to get the information?
>a loghouse Why is that bad? Is it known for housing transients and madmen? Is it haunted? Does it belong to a cult?
>a natural tunnel system This needs explanation. It's the heart of the mystery. A whole system of tunnels? Is it an abandoned mine? Who builds tunnels for no reason? What's the reason? How has it remained hidden?
>occult research station This phrase does not exist. Make it a geological research station, but that can't be in the tunnels. Make it a mad man's lab.
>there is a monster No! If you want a creature it has to show up sooner to threaten and hunt the PCs, you need a tension curve. Have traces of its passing as soon as they enter the tunnels. And make them ominous. It's not about the fight but about the expectation of it.
Nathan Young
OP here!
Sry guys, posted it in a bit of a hurry. I´ll get you the entire story.
Friend´s Uncle owned the log house in the first place. In his days the Mine in City X, which is also connected to the tunnels, collapsed through a strange implosion. So the Uncle, who was really into Occultism, found the temple and build the log house on the only remaining entrance to the tunnel system. There he could study the icriptions in the tempel all day long. (Uncle wanted knowledge and might). But unfortunately he passed away (through natural causes). So the log house came into Friend´s belongings. He never really visited the cabin, until he was stresses out by his brother and their business. So he searched for some loneliness in the woods. Not knowing from anything he found the entrence which is hidden behind a secret door in the cellar. Because he got a fucking secret tunnel in his his he wanted to explore it (come on, you would do the same!), not knowing what waits in the dark. so he just gets killed by the guardian of the temple.
Easton Martinez
The PCs are friends with Friend since early childhood.
Thomas Barnes
I thought about placing party of Friends clothes after the hidden door. So the have the feeling that something is wrong, but the hope that friend is alive.
Charles Barnes
The "occult research station" (sry :D ) is actually the old lab and archive of Friends Uncle.
