The leader of the thieves' guild is a cat

The concept predates D&D by several centuries, including a 16th century account of a rich merchant in charge of a large smuggling operation bequeathing all of his assets to his cat named Dooheslaf, who remained as the de facto leader of the operation for over sixty years (with a new cat replacing the old upon death in semi-secrecy).

Dooheslaf was such a popular figurehead that he stood trial on three separate occasions on charges of smuggling, but was released each time on account of his lawyers arguing that, as everyone could clearly see, he was a fucking cat.

Not that hard to believe. The leader of a Serbian paramilitary force was a cat.

Here you can see him being held up by his loyal bodyguard.

>The leader of the thieves' guild is actually Bast, manifesting herself through a cat

This cannot possibly be fucking accurate.

>Nobody mentioning Macavity

You're forgetting the goddamn Napoleon of Crime.

>get off my lawn

Having just read The Aeronaut's Windlass a few months ago, I'm quite taken with the idea OP.

This one resents any such stereotype.

>Bast goddess of the home
>protector of the home

Yeah no, she would repel thieves unless the other gods kicked her out of the circle and she used her house based powers for evil now.

I was actually thinking of something like this. Have a cat as a figurehead, everyone insists that the cat is a criminal mastermind with magical powers, in reality it's just a normal cat and the higher ups in the guild give orders that they claim to have come from the cat.

And yes, it's just a normal cat. Finding out that it really is a magical creature or a shapeshifter would ruin the joke of having everyone insist that the cat is magic. It's the kind of bullshit twist that I hate when it shows up in saturday morning cartoons and X-files.

>The cat god is plotting to steal the sun

>The leader of the thieves' guild is a cat
>Gets more tail than any of the PCs

...

KHAJIT STOLE NOTHING!
KHAJIT IS INNOCENT OF THIS CRIME!

>the leader of the fighter's guild is Sechkemet, leader of I DESTROY THE WORLD BETTER AFTER I'VE (URRP) HAD A FEW

I want to own that cat.

I'd give him a bad-ass name, like Darius.

Geddit? Darius? King of the Purrsians?

nice dubs.
Spell the name backwards.

>The leader of the mages' guild is a cat

Ooooh.

You got me, user.

>the Queen's favorite cat has had the leaders of every guild assassinated and replaced by his kittens, allowing him to rule the kingdom by proxy with his owners none the wiser

>The leader of the Fighers Guild is a Dog
>Leader of the Mage's guild and the one responsible for this is now a lizard
>The head librarian is an orangutan.

I have my new BBEG

>Leader of the Church is a god

Wouldn't that be weird?

Something along these lines

>The corporal is a bear

We all know you has wares, user.

...

I want to believe...

Clearly Bast protects the home but demands tribute for such a thankless task. Although Bast can not openly demand the tribute, thus instead Bast allows certain thieves blessing to steal.

Besides, cats are shit house guards. Thugs broke into my apartment weeks ago and took my tv. Cat did shit-all. I bet she fucking rubbed up against their legs too the cuddle-slut

>The leader of the thieves' guild is a cat
Yes, and?

This is a longwinded way of explaining why his party was jumped by some cats.

cats, and I presume, bast, protect the home against mice. not burglars.

>cat god protects the home against mice
Why is this not a god in RPGs?

actually, not quite.

"Getting jumped by a bunch of cats" was just a random city encounter the DM rolled for. But the PCs thought it was some greater scheme and began insisting on investigating.

After months of this, the DM's thrown up his arms and run with The Cat Conspiracy storyline.

This is heart-warming.

>Leader of the Mage's guild and the one responsible for this is now a lizard

youtube.com/watch?v=6f78_Tf4Tdk

They should have some identical cats on reserve in case someone assassinates their leader. That would seriously mess with the pcs.

Your face when this bear can be taken as part of a Polish force in Flames of War

Because then the DM has to explain why the servants of NG bast like to torture small animals to death for shits and giggles.

Now that I think about it, though, a NE protector deity that has to be bribed with offerings sounds baller. It only takes one thief to ignore the "This House Is Under The Protection Of Rrevan The Cruel" and suddenly you have a very nice lawn ornament too.

...

>They're all still normal cats, the Queen is just insane

Shaving down there is older than written history.

>Leader of the thieves Guild is a cat
>Head of the town guard is a fucking dog
>Bandits roaming the woods are goddamn raccoons
>Cows till the fields
>Rats lurk the alley and mug the townspeople
>Local mage is a nutty squirrel
>The knights are made up of horses
>The Mayor and his council are foxes
>Mouse priest gives his sermons every Sunday

>Oh, that's right. I'm playing an Ironclaw game.

It's name is fucking falsehood

Is the sheriff a fat wolf and the king a gay lion?

...

Some of them, filename related, could handle it.

You could do a pretty funny Canary M. Burns style thing with this premise.

It's an inside job. Bast founded the thieves guild so she can keep an eye on all the burglars in the realm. If one of them starts stealing more than he needs to live or harms the occupants of a house, she arranges for him to be arrested and hanged by the city guards.

>The leader of the thieves guild is a bird.

>The manager of the animal shelter is a Thief

>run a session where my players enter a town to find that all of the townsfolk are various animals made humanoid by a wacky wizard
>they accuse me of being a furry
>I just really like redwall

The leader of the assassins guild is a bird.

Why did you post a pic of the Blood Ravens true chapter master? Why else would they go around collecting shiny objects?

>leader of the cat guild is a human

Oh, no real reason.

>Grand Master of the paladin order is a skeleton. Everyone thinks he's just all skin and bones.

What are mice if not tiny burglars?

Does he steal cats?
Is he a... cat burglar?

The cat guild employs cats to partake in cat-like activities. You can hire members to kill mice, sit in boxes and knock shit off tables for no reason

what if it really is magical just not in a way that is useful to anyone

That actually sounds useful.

>Purchase services of cat guild.
>Infiltrate lair of enemy alchemist.
>Hope you weren't using those shelves, fucker.

>arguing that, as everyone could clearly see, he was a fucking cat.
Why did this make me laugh for 5 minutes straight

>not posting best girl

>finally reach the guild leader's chamber
>just a cat lounging around
>party investigates room
>hears a click from behind; the door is locked
>shit.jpg
>cat reappears in center
>everyone is spooked except That Guy
>"It's just a cat"
>cat gives a monologue
>rocks fall on everyone
>cat has 9998 lives left

Check'em