/5eg/ D&D Fifth Edition General: Woolie Edition

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How often does your party lie, cheat, and steal?

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About as often as we play.

youtube.com/watch?v=SHFgKyFM0yw
I always play super-honest characters, but usually I have at least one other PC in my character's party who's a deceptive little bastard.

How often does your party lie, cheat, and steal?

All the time, constantly, every social encounter. As the Paladin I've taken to just not associating with them on any official level.

I've constructed a rogue where she aims to gain her fortune by cheating people with shit like weighted dice. Coincidentally, my entire party is full of gullible drunkards and people who can't refuse wagers.

my rogue is surprisingly honest, but he has picked some locks and such.
also my party lies to everyone about owning the bargewright inn.
though technically we do own it... we got it under some......... mysterious...... circumstances.

> player joins group
> never played D&D before
> makes a new character
> plays an elf rogue
> gets into combat, decides to head straight for front lines in first battle
> I roll a critical
> elf rogue goes down
> rolls nat 1 then another failure
> dies without even taking a swing
> player sits in corner not making another character
> get annoyed with her attitude and kick her out

Is it just me or has 5e attracted more and more of these entitled video game players who think TTRPGs should be 3 hours of me masturbating their cocks with easy encounters and simple challenges. That's the problem when you simplify a game; you make it attractable to the undesirables who should be allowed into our community in the first place.

Our DM just had us buy a load of magic items (2+ each) off a travelling merchant for

>our community
I'm going to be extra-nice to new players from now on just so the hobby grows and people like you get pushed out.

>things that happened, for 1000

>tfw never played with shitters who ruined the experience for others
time to stop playing with babbies :^)

Mine doesn't lie cheat or steal but we did ruin CoS a bit for our DM by catching Strahd inside a pokeball shaped wall of force in the sky for the final epic battle. Then we murdered his mooks on the ground while he ripped gemstones out of the helm of brilliance of our (deceased, formerly flying) cleric to prevent it burning him with radiant damage. He ripped multiple prismatic rays into himself. As a result of burning all his legendary invulnerability in the poke battle vs our hero cleric he turned to stone from.one of them while my sorcerer with the staff of power and the rest of the party sat on the ground trolling him.

Then we brought him back from stone in a circle of anti undeath to weaken him while our sunsword wielding paladin divine smote him for at least 1 trillion points of damage.

It was a good day I feel a bit bad for our awesome AL DM. Hes a great dude and wr all appreciate him but we turned the final epic encounter complete with monologues into Pokemon.

He laughed about it with us later because hes a cool dude like that but I won't do anything like that again out of respect. Unless of course it's really funny

What are some tips for a first time dm?

Learn the rules better than your players, try to think on your feet instead of depending on prep, and let the story react to your players instead of letting your players react to the story.

>rolls nat 1 then another failure

This is what people get for not bringing healers and playing shitter damage clerics. Maybe if DM's didn't coddle the fuck out of players actual real clerics would see more use because saving people from death would be meaningful. Instead people think they should be able to damage/control their way out of every encounter and complain about "HP BLOAT" because their whore characters don't let them glass cannon an encounter.

Lie: Only one guy who stole from us, surprisingly.
Cheat: More whine and complain and trying (and failing) to explain why rulings that worked against him shouldn't exist.
Steal: We had the one guy steal some magic booze and then lie about it. I had a rogue who raided various smaller sarcophagi, raking in lots of gold, all while the rest of the party tried to break into a mummy lord's tomb. My rogue ended up saving the day by keeping the door open long enough for everyone but the Vengeance Paladin who decided to attack the mummy to escape. His brother ended up replacing him (a monk this time) after RP reasons had the rogue leave. Broke into a couple potion stores (one where he knocked out the owner, two where he broke in under a Silence spell and just looted the place). All those spoils ended up going into the party coffers when that PC flew interference for the party from some dinosaurs before getting sucked into an interdimensional portal to the earth plane. The party's eyes went kind of wide when they realized just how much those PCs had gathered in such a short amount of time. Doubled the value of the rest of the party's money even before the potions. When a DM makes money from adventuring low...

don't say no say yes
but don't say yes to them trying to do stupid shit with rolling skills. just stick to what they could reasonably do, but don't shoot down anything they try to do within those limits.

To add some more clarification on this:

Things to say no to:
* Things that the character literally can't do.
* Things that are meant to antagonize other players (not other characters, the players themselves).

Things to say yes to that you don't want to:
* Things that are a bad idea. Level 1 player wants to attack a king when he's surrounded by guards? Do your best 'Are you SURE you want to do that?" voice, but if they say 'yes" then they have to deal with the consequences. Don't let it derail your game, but don't let them get away with it either.
* Things that you didn't expect and derails your plot. Players catch/kill the BBEG you planned on having escaping? Have him escape later or have him not be the REAL villian, he's just the front man.

>le "D&D is a hardcore game meant only for hardcore gamers"

it's a game mate.

i get that you need to validate your playing of this game with "muh depth and difficulty" but it's a fucking game.

How much stronger is a 12 strength humanoid than a 10 strength humanoid?

About 2 points stronger.

humanoid with 12 str can lift 180lbs

humanoid with 10 str can lift 150lbs

if 10 is average, then i think i read somewhere that 12 would be like Olympic athlete level?

As a DM, I warn parties to not steal from one another, as it's a great way to build interplayer conflict and make a bunch of people angry.

As a player, if another PC steals from me, I remove their hand. If this is not immediately possible, I take every possible action to bring myself closer to dismembering them.

Wrong. That's carrying capacity. Lift is 30 times Strength, or double the carrying capacity.

12 Strength can lift 360lbs.

10 Strength can lift 300lbs.

You hear that Woolie is on a new magic card?

Didn't know he hated ghosts so much.

so is 10 strength actually way way way above normal humanoid standards?

because how many people can actually lift 300lbs?

only for pies

Absolutely nobody you meet in daily life could do such a thing. Most fit people who lift regularly would have trouble lifting 300 without hurting themselves. Keep in mind benching something and lifting something are very different.

It's double today's average. A normal joe today can deadlift about 150lbs.

The world record deadlift is 1102lbs. That's a Strength score of 36.

Deadlifitng isn't lifting in the context that D&D uses it.

Of this, I am pretty sure.

Push, pull, drag, lift. All the same as far as D&D's rules care.

What's a good amount of prep to have? Like just enough for the basic outline of what you want to do, or more in depth of the encounter, or is it literally just a preference thing

Wouldn't clerics and healers be more useful if global hp was lower, not the other way around?

Sure, but to port a specialized form of lifting dedicated to pushing the limits of not very useful weight lifting as a measure for the functional (can you pull the heavy chain while not being combat ready) is insane.

ok so whats the deal
can the average dnd joe deadlift half of his lift capacity? more than that?

list of 20 or so NPC names, both male and female.

page numbers of monsters you're expecting to use. also include monsters that might be useful if you need to improvise. i tend to have about 6 different monster/NPC page numbers written down.

this isn't always necessary, but i try to write down the page numbers of any special case rules my players might encounter given what i've got planned. for example, if the players probably have to swim it is a good idea to write down where the swimming rules are.

here's a 6 4X6 notecard DMG utility that I used until i bought and then modded my 5E GM screen. i didn't write them but they are gold. i used a mini GM screen, but just having them on the table when you need them should be good. you won't need the book half the time with these.

i've found the biggest part of gm "prep" is actually right after the game happened. i either end up writing notes down after the game or spending an hour or so thinking about the previous session and writing down all my memories of it. then i read/refer to this while starting the session to get everyone back into the same mind set. also, thinking back over things can get your creative juices flowing again for ideas of what to throw at the PCs the next time.

The game isn't focused on realism so it doesn't matter.
Just assume the average human physical strength is higher in a d&d fantasy world because everyone constantly has to haul ass to not get eaten by goblins.

Deadlift is picking something up off the ground, and bringing it up to hip level. It's not the kind of lifting that brings it up over the head.

If deadlifting isn't representative of basic lifting ability, nothing is.

Hola friends. I have become part of a new D&D 5e game. We're currently running Lost Mines of Phandelver because the DM wants to. Apart from this he's been using random loot gen and I think random encounter rolls.

We lost a party member second session, the bugbears murdered his ass. Then I, the wizard nearly died, and the paladin too. Is Lost Mines or 5th edition super deadly or is my DM stupidly lucky? Also, we're using roll20 and it seems like DM rolls are rigged as hell on that.

The paladin and I are thinking about bailing on the game but the desire to actually play a game for long term is keeping us here. Maybe we should discuss our issues with him.

Side note, I think he hasn't preread the module because he's fucked himself and had to poorly adlib keys on bodies and stuff like that. And apparently casting sleep would have killed me. wut?

>Maybe we should discuss our issues with him
how to solve every social problem ever

Sounds like that DM doesn't know what the hell he's doing.

Low-level 5e can be pretty deadly, and LMoP just throws people in there. Once you hit 3rd onward it gets a lot more manageable.

As for bailing: Roll20 is a huge mixed bag. If you feel it's worth the time to continue playing, talk it over with the DM. If not, then leave them a message and bow out, preferably giving the DM as much time before the next scheduled session as possible.

yes, this could be /thread

Tbh, I prefer when people just disappear from games I joined rather than give winded reasons. I don't gotta hear your reason senpai - it could be you would rather have taco night during game period, and I wouldn't fault you one bit. Do what you wanna do.

I'm gonna bring it up before even considering playing another session.
I don't think he does. He was telling me I had to lose shit out of my bag to not lose 10ft of movement. It's a 45 lb bag. He miscounted the weights or couldn't find and made up some and said it was 59lbs.

Sleep doesn't kill people for fuck sake.

After the first sessions we were level 3, so it was seemingly going okay. I don't know if something changed but suddenly he's said he's upping the ante because we're more powerful. So we got a random road encounter of 5 orcs as a 3 man party (we were 4 but one person wasn't present). then 6 hobgoblins following that.

Also we're using roll20 out of necessity, just getting people together is a pain. He is a friend of a friend.

I didn't mean a long-winded reason, just a "I don't feel this game is right for me so I'm leaving." Let them know you're going instead of vanishing and leaving them high and dry when game night comes around and they didn't realize you're gone.

How would you go about handling dungeons, should those be mostly premade?

I prefer whatever the other guy prefers. If he feels he wants to tell me, ite. My response is always gonna be the same "do what ya wanna do senpai - we play this game for fun".
Likewise, if they would be more comfortable silently bowing out, I'm perfectly okay with that. Whatever they're more comfortable with yo.

What are some good random encounters for a swampy jungle? Party's level 9.

So far, I have a group of chuuls harassing fishermen, a pack of displacer beasts on the hunt, one of those evil trees from tome of beasts in a grove, and some bog zombies, also from tome of beasts.

Young green dragon.

No reason at all for it being there, just completely random chance.

Shamblin' mounds! Zombies! Young black dragons!

the black knight blocks the party's path.

Two giant crocodiles, each ridden by a lizardfolk.

That's just low level DND.

Thanks for that pdf. I'm just a player but there are a few things on here that clarified some mechanics. Just realized my group doesn't understand death saving throws and considering we've had lots near deaths that misunderstanding it's good to know now.

Eh, the party slaughtered a young blue dragon last adventure.

How could I forget the old Shambling Mound?

I have been meaning to use more mounted enemies, that's a good idea.

I have a feeling that's how the next major antagonist is going to end up

A death slaad would make a good fight for a level 9 party.

Slaads are so much weaker in 5e than they were in 3.5.

This is the Table of Contents for the 3rd Monster Manual of 4th edition. Is there anything there you would be interested in seeing in 5th?

Still CR10.

Check out a death slaad in 3.5 though by comparison. The relative difference is staggering.

Everything's weaker in 5e, it's just the direction of the system.

not bards

But they aren't like that.
An ancient gold dragon in 5e vs an ancient gold dragon in 3.5 is nowhere *REMOTELY* close to having the same CR swing as a death slaad.

Song is proven to raise morale.
Therefore, a one, a two...

Nymphs, but all of them lumped under one entry like Hags or orcs or whatever are.
Cave fishers, because they're amusing.
Dread warriors for skellymens who are actually solid warrior-types.
More types of gargoyles because I love those guys.
Then I dunno, maybe some more demons. Seems like they add a few more of those every book or something.

No, if everyone dies extremely quick healing doesn't work. Attrition is where healing shines. It also makes buffs/debuffs shine, but buffs and debuffs that reduce incoming damage make healing even more cost effective.

>its a game

This is the worst excuse.

...

So apparent we're getting cat people and that angle version of Tieflings in the next book.

>angle version of Tieflings in the next book.
I mean angel fucking smart phone correct.

Assimar.
Also, given the apparently Faerun-themed nature of the book, the cat-people might be those Maztecan jaguar guys and not "KAWAII NEKOJIN-CHAN" or whatever.

Though that means you could play Guin instead, but Guin is Conan the Barbarian with a fucking jaguar for a head and inspired King from Tekken, so he's about the most macho thing ever.

Got a question on revival mechanics.
Except for Clone, everything like Raise Dead, Resurrection, etc., are all locked away under Good-aligned Clerical domains, or druid spells.

What's a method for an evil antagonist to revive himself? Clone is too fast for my purposes, and none of his minions would have the divine spells for it due to alignment reasons. It's unlikely that a Good Cleric could be tricked into reviving himself, and scrolls I would admittedly like to avoid if at all possible. I've set up a closed-room scenario anyway, where an ancient tyrant maimed by ancient heroes finally revives himself from the catacombs he was sealed inside. That's why the scroll won't work. He'd have to have it on hand, or summon someone to bring the scroll to him.

Are there any monsters capable of performing a resurrection?

>he's about the most macho thing ever.
Won't stop furries though.

I want my cat girls damnit, not furry shit.
Or at least give us kenku - I love voice shenanigans too much.

Nothing stops the furries save death.
The idea is to not feed them like a idiot poster feeds a troll on Veeky Forums; the more they actually have to work for something the better off we'll be.

[citation needed]

it's not an excuse. it's a fact.

dungeons and dragons is a game. the purpose of a game is to entertain and have fun.

some people are way, way too obsessed with this game, and to validate this obsession they treat this as if it was something more than a game.

He's an NPC. Throw out the PHB and come up with an explanation yourself.

"A dark god resurrected him to do his bidding."

"Devoted cultsists bring him back through foul rituals," perhaps Voldemort-style with him existing as a shadow of his former self for ages.

NPCs don't have to confine themselves the players' bag of tricks.

...

Fuck you normie EVE is real.

youtube.com/watch?v=AdfFnTt2UT0

...

So then get off your lazy ass and stat up your own race if you need them that bad.
You don't need official help to fuel your own fetishes.

his fetish is cat folk, hes not exactly capable of complex thoughts or ideas

I already have - I just want official precedence to bring them into other people's games without having to ask special permission~

That's not confirmation.

When will 5e let me play a cute kitsune foxboy?

I'm guessing you don't actually get to play that often in other people's games anyway, so it's probably not even a real problem with you.
Any DM with a halfway functioning sack would tell you to fuck off with that anyway, "official" rules or not.

I've never had this issue with other games i've either played,DMed or otherwise been privy to. I just think it's roll20 hyping up the /dmroll function or something. He's not fudging anything and I don't have a problem with that, it keeps people on the edge of their seats and you can't bitch him out if you die. Thems the dice. It could of course be a streak of bad luck on our part.

My main issue is just him not knowing the rules and thinking he does. Like rules of encumbrance, casting spells, spell components etc. Also, I'm trying to tell these redbrand dudes outside a building to leave town. They're obviously not having it, so I have my raven familiar perched on the roof waiting. One starts laughing so I say I'll have it fly down and cast shocking grasp through it on him. Apparently that doesn't warrant surprise round, we just roll initiative. I lose and go last. Fuck.

I'm in 5 games at the moment~
4 on roll20 and 1 in real life~
It's so amazing just how salty you autistic neckbeards become at the sheer sight or mention of cat girls lmao

If you can easily answer most of these questions then you're absolutely fine rules-wise.
If you find yourself stuck on a lot of /all of these questions, you can stop right now and go read the PHB more.
If they're all new, you can get away with fucking up the rules a lot. If they're not, they might call you out a bit.

Here we go, an assorted rules questionnaire.

Mr. Level 1 McElfRogue with 17 dexterity is doing dual-wielding using a rapier and shortsword. What do you tell them to roll for attacks and damage, and is everything correct?

Guy with these stats: 8 str, 14 dex, 14 con, 18 int, 12 wis, 10 charisma is multiclassing. He's wizard 5 right now but feels like taking a level in Cleric and wearing heavy armour. Are there any problems, can he wear heavy armour and how will his spell slot progression work?

Guy is attempting to grapple Guy2. Who rolls what?

CaptainAustralia the fighter as a warhammer and a shield. He wants to drop his shield, attack with his warhammer with two hands and then pick up his shield with object interaction. Can he?

PleaseNeverMakeThisMonster is a monster that has an obsession with killing downed players and is shooting a single eldritch blast at a player on 0 HP. What should they roll to hit, and what applies if they do hit?

A tiefling bear barbarian with a shield is raging and is hit by a fireball. What do they roll to save and what are the damage multipliers?

>What do you tell them to roll
Bruh, don't give the man trick questions.

Of course, anyone sane here knows you tell them to get the fuck back to pathfinder.

But pathfinder gives us cute fox girls. We need more cute fox girls in 5e.

>PleaseNeverMakeThisMonster is a monster that has an obsession with killing downed players and is shooting a single eldritch blast at a player on 0 HP. What should they roll to hit, and what applies if they do hit?
This is the only tricky one there, primarily because of the interaction of prone and unconscious.

If the monster is within 5 feet, the attack is made with advantage. Otherwise it's rolled normally (advantage from unconscious, disadvantage from prone due to range). If they're within 5 feet, a hit critically hits, causing 2 death save failures. If it hits and they're farther away, it hits normally and causes 1 death save failure.

The answer is correct, but for within 5ft you might have forgotten eldritch blast has disadvantage since it's a ranged attack. Still gives advantage anyway.

It's just I've seen a DM go on about how they could so easily start flinging rays of instant two-failed-saves about when really they have to get up close.

Eldritch blast would only have disadvantage if there is another hostile creature within 5 feet of it. Although "hostile creature" isn't outright defined, being unconscious probably puts the player out of that category.

>Guy with these stats: 8 str, 14 dex, 14 con, 18 int, 12 wis, 10 charisma is multiclassing. He's wizard 5 right now but feels like taking a level in Cleric and wearing heavy armour. Are there any problems, can he wear heavy armour and how will his spell slot progression work?

Can't multiclass into cleric, because Wis is lower than 13.

He could wear heavy armor, but he's not proficient in it. If he did get to multiclass to cleric, unless he chose certain Divine Domains, he still wouldn't have proficiency in heavy armor.

If he could multiclass, his spells would have the slots of a 6th level caster, up to 3rd level wizard spells(he could prepare 9 wizard spells), and 1st level cleric spells(he could prepare 2 cleric spells).