The 'Nude' Warrior

>playing ERP
>ever alright

It's probably the most cringe-inducing activity people can take part in.

Hell, your post explains why.
>Hey, I want to do something that doesn't make any sense
>Oh, that's cool, we're playing a retarded game and being retarded is fine

Like, wear a loincloth at least. 99% of the benefits of being naked, with only half of its problems.

Hell, OP is gonna get banned for his post, and he could have avoided that with a few pieces of fabric and wondering about Bikini warriors.

This, in addition to headwear sometimes being used as a focus for the magics.

It's not like fighting butt naked is unusual or never happened. If you have to "justify" it just set it in a Conan like setting and get over yourself.

>the firmament of creation doesn't give a shit what anyone wears.
Alternatively, it does, and all the odd-looking ceremonial garb has to be precisely so to get the best results out of world-warping rituals.

>is unusual

Yes. Yes it is. People commented about it in antiquity as unusual.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nudity_in_combat

It was also super fucking rare, because it's super fucking stupid in almost every single situation. You'd really need a good reason for being completely naked, even in a Conan-like setting.

However, in a "who fucking cares" setting, that's a different story.

Pretty much every female in any Conan story i've ever read ends up totally nude in combat at one point or another, usually in the climax after she about to be sacrificed or some shit

So you've read... one? Two Conan stories?

Every one ever written, as far as I know. Howard used to go more for his chicks just being restrained and rescued, the later authors like Sprague De Camp and even Jordan were really big on naked girl warriors.

Who the fuck needs armour? My god will protect me from harm in battle.

Make the naked warrior be morbidly obese. He's survived because nobody's managed to pierce his folds of flab deep enough to hit something vital.

>fighting for the god of armor
>forced into never nude lifestyle

Like everything, it depends on the setting.
If you're doing pulp fantasy or a setting inspired by classical mythology, it's a green light. Same goes for impractical/slutty armor and the like.
Even if you're trying a more realistic approach, there were several cultures throughout history that fought naked, either to prove their fearlessness or believing that they were invincible for one reason or another.

I get that a lot of people got burnt out by exploitative, overly-sexualized fantasy aesthetics to try to cash in on sexually pent-up nerds, but centuries before pent-up nerds or pulp fantasy were even a thing, people still thought things like boobplate and fighting naked or half-naked were cool as shit. That's why gladiators wore what they did, that's why 19th century paintings of Germanic goddesses depict them in boobplate, that's why sculptors and painters depicted ancient Greek warriors fully nude, except for a helmet, shield, and weapon.

I get the appeal of realism in fantasy; I like it too. But next time you sperg out at the sight of somebody wearing less than fullplate, remember that the point of fantasy is to depict that idealized mythical world of antiquity.

The best D&D character I ever played did some of her best fighting totally in the buff.

I agree that it's more about the fun or the awesomeness of it, than the realism. If I wanted realism, I wouldn't be playing D&fuckingD for a start.

Same reason you would in the real world, armor doesn't provide enough protection to justify the weight and clothing is too restrictive.

Outside of being cold, I don't see the problem. It's basically just forgoing better defense for faster/agile offense.

In a lot of real cases people usually have to chose between offense and defense and if you only have enough material resources for one or the other you pick offense because defense is only gonna keep you alive marginally longer while offense can make you lethal enough to end the threat before it has the chance to harm you.

>who gives a *fuck* about fashion?

Angry mobs who kill anyone they think is a wizard, for one.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heroic_nudity
This is the relevant concept.

You're exaggerating a lot.
Way too fucking much, in fact.

To the point where I hope no one will ever have to suffer playing with you, who thinks that "it's pulp fantasy" is enough to argue that fighting naked is perfectly reasonable and needs no further explanation. There are reasons you can argue, but it's hardly an automatic green light as you imagine it to be.

You also have no real understanding of why anything was the way it is.
Gladiators wore little armor in order to allow superficial cuts to bleed freely for show.
Nude sculptures were nude largely to reflect a timeless quality while also serving to show off the sculptors anatomical skill, which was a prime focus. When techniques in rendering fabric in stone advanced, so too did not simply the popularity of heavily clothed figures, but excessively and dramatically clothed and veiled figures.

>Gladiators wore little armor in order to allow superficial cuts to bleed freely for show.
Just another reason they thought it was rad.

>Nude sculptures were nude largely to reflect a timeless quality while also serving to show off the sculptors anatomical skill, which was a prime focus. When techniques in rendering fabric in stone advanced, so too did not simply the popularity of heavily clothed figures, but excessively and dramatically clothed and veiled figures.
Partially, but not entirely true. The aesthetic of the naked body in Western culture has been well-documented and didn't simply stop entirely once people got good at sculpting clothes.
Along with the imposing aesthetic of a muscular figure, it came with the artistic implication of being divine or superhumanly heroic (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heroic_nudity).
Artistic were inspired by this for centuries afterward, even up until the 18th century with the nude depiction of King Leonidas's 300 Spartans being the inspiration behind the design of Frank Miller's Spartans in the 300 comic.

>Fantasy
You know people actually did that right?

You know, I think people playing with their characters naked is bad also. But I'm not gonna sperg about it, as long as the GM gives the appropriate drawbacks to the player to fuck them over it's ok. Like having people mock them, or not take them serious, or them getting in trouble with the law for violating modesty, or here is a big one, them getting fucked hard in combat because when they get hit nothing protects them.

This thread was specifically referring to the inclusion of it in fantasy.

>cyberfucking is bad because it's unrealistic and doesn't make sense

>Partially, but not entirely true.

Which is why I said
>Nude sculptures were nude largely to reflect a timeless quality while also serving to show off the sculptors anatomical skill

Clothes date a person, with fashion being what it is. To make someone truly timeless, you need to remove the biggest clues to their temporal existence, which is the items they carry and wear.

There are other aspects as to why, but at the end of the day, we're still talking about less of "NUDE IS AWESOME" and more about technical and artistic concerns that ultimately have very little to do with some weirdo saying you should let him play a buttnaked barbarian because some idiot Gauls went and got themselves slaughtered.

ERPing is bad because people excuse idiot ideas with "it gets my dick hard".

>But I'm not gonna sperg about it, as long as the GM gives the appropriate drawbacks to the player to fuck them over it's ok.

So, rather than address the matter directly, as an adult might, you prefer a more passive aggressive approach, as a sperg might.

>ERPing is stupid because people do things that get their dicks hard, all according to the stated purpose of the game
I think you're the one who's a bit stupid, mate.

It's not passive aggressive, as long as you tell them up front. Doing shit in your RP's has consequences. If you stab some guy, rape some girl, there will be consequences. You aren't some god, only a complete autist would not see that.

Embracing stupidity for the sake of comedy? That often takes a degree of cleverness in order for it to actually be successful.

Embracing stupidity for the express purpose of getting dicks hard?
That's where you're not only working hard to be stupid, but you're also working towards something that is ultimately less effective than a picture of a good pair of tits.

>Don't do that

vs.

>You CAN do that, but if you do, I will fuck you up so bad you'll wish I just told you "Don't do that" from the start

Second option is way better. Sometimes you may want to do stupid shit for a laugh. Like play as a Malkavain vampire and slap the prince or Caine with a fish to see what happens.

I didn't know sexless robots posted on Veeky Forums

...

I like this post.

I've mentioned it on Veeky Forums before but I once played a Barbarian in a Mutants&Masterminds fantasy game that went into battle nude and covered in Magical Woad that gave him ranks of Impervious Toughness

My stance on nude warriors is if you can justify either through magic or some weird cultural or religious thing okay but it is stupid going into battle with no armor my character only did it because magic and he was basically a Pict

Although I was also in a ConanRPG game where everyone dressed like pic related because of Classic Sword&Sorcery art

A nice long-brimmed hat keeps the sun out of your eyes and the bugs out of your face. For an old man hunting for spell reagents and specimens, it's indispensable. Plus, it keeps your head nice and toasty for when the tower gets drafty.

I like it in the Beowulf style of "He's a true hero who doesn't need armor or weapons to kill shit", but it'd be really dumb to play as. Even Beowulf only stripped down when he got to the actual fight itself and decided not to charge at the dragon with his withered old cock swinging about.

Works better for a story or legend, in my opinion, than to actually play.

He has dozens of followers, dammit, DOZENS!

I'll allow it if the character is an 80 year old eunuch leper druid.

Ah, see, I only consider the Howard Conans to be canon. All that other shit is fanfiction in my book.