The Official MTG Snowstorm/Lore Thread

That's what Gaia looks like?
No wonder everyone apparently wanted to fuck her.

Almost all of them have 'no' as the answer to that. Most will suffer crushing disappointment, one will get exactly the sort of ending that he wants (and it's a bad one) and one will probably live a good enough life due to not having ridiculously grand goals.

She is cutest elf. Belagir's mom has got it goin' on.

She's all I want and I waited so long
Serena can't you see
You're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong
but I'm in love with Belagir's mom

Hey, I never played either Ravnica block. Can people switch guilds? Like some Azorius Lawyer Paladin decides she's sick of paperwork, and going Guildless to run that diner she's always dreamed of?

Yes, but becoming guildless is basically saying "yeah, time to be a second class citizen." You might very well piss off a lot of Azorius who can make your life hell, and Rakdos would probably fuck with you since I believe they are in charge of the restaurants on Ravnica.
The Azorius law mage decides she's sick of paperwork, takes a swig of whiskey, and keeps doing it while thinking about how nice it would be to run a diner.

In the novels, Agrus Kos starts out as a Wojek, which is basically Boros Legion's police force. After the events of Ravnica: the City of Guilds, he leaves and becomes employed by a friend of his that is Orzhov. Though he never really considered himself a member of the guild, being in Orzhov employ more or less makes you Orzhov, or as Pivlic described it "you are Orzhov enough."
Fast-forward to the Dissension novel, Kos is dead and his spirit is in the employ of the Azorius Senate due to a contract that he signed while he was alive.

>Rakdos
>In charge of restaurants

You are terribly mistaken. The Cult has their hands in a lot of services, particularly entertainment and assassination, but their main actual contribution to the city is heavy labor.

The novels have examples of Pivlic, an Orzhov imp, owning an eatery, and then later a bar. There is also an ogre that Kos is friends with called Garulz, whose bar he was known to frequent as well.

Also, as for "food" being any guild's job, that's the Golgari Swarm's work. Their guild contributes to the city via farming. There are other food sources available, but they are the thing that is supposed to make sure that literally no one is starving to death.

Are the novels fun to read?

Ok, so change that to
>And Rakdos will probably fuck with you.

I have those three and the RtR e-books.
The Ravnica novels were a little dry the first time through, but I liked them more on re-read.

The RtR set was alright because it represents Jace as a character that is flawed and limited to his color's particular brands of magic, moreso the kinds of magic in blue that he actually uses. It was really satisfying to read about Varolz and Ruric Thar giving him a lot of trouble, but then he was actually pretty well equipped to battle with Exava. Unfortunately, a lot of the previous visit to Ravnica is just flat-out missing from the block's influences (even the novels), but there are still some traces of things that can be appreciated. Like Teysa casting Merciless Eviction.

While you're right, they're the farming hand. They're the people that grow the food, not the ones you buy it from.
The restaurants and the markets are most likely other guilds.

consider how things have been progressing for him and evaluate for yourself

I acknowledged that, I'm just noting that no other Guild has food as a major part of their MO.

True, though I'm still positive that the Gruul hunt and would be completely unsurprised if the Selesnyans had fruit trees or something.

Of course the Gruul hunt. They live in the otherwise uninhabited or ruined parts of the city.

Needs bump

None can tell if that will be a yes or a no for each of my flakes. Not even myself. I can only hope for the best, but that doesn't assure them a happy ending.

You can always say they get one, unless you're Gaia. Because to be a gaia flake is suffering.

You too, kitten.

Happiness must be earned. My flakes are terrible characters and terrible people, so none of them are allowed to be happy. They will suffer before their ultimate demise, trying in vain to achieve their most lofty goals.

Considering the track record for angels in MtG, especially those on Innistrad? No, almost certainly not.

Sounds like your flakes just need some good friends.

Dominaria, Zendikar, and Serra's Realm didn't fair any better with their Angels.

>hoots is terrible
But why?

I'd say that Zendikar angels got of the easiest of those three, Serra's realm got it the worst followed by Innistrad.

Let us not forget the Mirroden angels, they got it real bad.

>Marchesa is now Mardu
Neat. What to build, what to build.

You are going to want to run white propaganda effects.

Well that's obvious, but there's so much potential for fun stuff now that we have a commander that's not: Gimmicky Serena Ob-Vol, Boring Nazi dragon, Voltron Pussycrusher, Inaskirt who likes it small, or fucking Tariel.

Marchesa's nice and good by herself without being a "Theme your deck around her" type.

Like, maybe I could do knight/Samurai tribal, or vampires. Or add some black to giant tribal. I could go pillow fort or mid-range or something in between.

Good one, I made it for you.

Nice.

Feldon and sidisi for tutor shenanigans

Not Thicc enough.

Don't use an actual MtG angel for your pics.

It's a joke pic based on my mockery of Kaalia and the other mardu commanders not an actual picture of Serena.

You'll note that the rest of the card is exactly the same as Kaalia anyway.

I think you missed the joke.

Apparently I missed everything.

Here's a pic to make up for it.

Thank you, I like this.

You're welcome, toots.

I apologize in advance for the shitty image quality,this is my first flake,if anyone has any critisism they want to share,that would be nice.

Typically, the artifact indicator is used for artifact-centric characters, not just characters that use artifacts. If he had artifact synergy going on, maybe a metalcraft or affinity theme, that'd be worthy of being the artifact indicator. As it is, he can cast Darksteel Mutation and churn out thopters with Thopter Foundry. Not really enough, in my eyes.

Out of curiosity, what god did he serve as a priest? I didn't think there was a priesthood on Theros that served the entire pantheon all at once.

Finally, you tell his story pretty nicely but you don't tell us anything about the character himself. What about his attitude makes him white, blue and black all at once? How did the events he's gone through shape him?

Yeah,I probably should have thought about that
He was meant to serve Ephara,but he decided to worship Athreos instead.As a matter of fact,I think I'll just rework his bio a bit,it really needs work

I believe that this one should be better,altough I probably missed the point entirely

Bluefingers sweetly and dutifully asks your flake on behalf of the Clerks of Azor why they forgot their taxes this year. Don't disappoint her.

The Cathar points out that he was legally dead on his plane of residence for the last two years.
Neither Starke or Jorge made profits that were taxable by the government of Ravnica.
Hondick is confused with the concept of taxes.
Newt claims she is a non profit organization.
Anna planeswalks away

>Remes
Wants to know how you found him. He immediately flees.

>Cala
"Pay taxes for what?"
Mind you, she does not seem to live anywhere for long, nor does he conduct business of any kind. If anything, she's more likely to have outstanding fines for damages.

>Jakrol
He laughs at you and just walks away. If you persist, it becomes a fight.

>Winifred
She makes up an excuse and sneaks off.

>Wyston
"Taxes? For what? As much respect as I have for the Senate, I refuse to take part in taxation without representation."

>Aren't you a cute little thing. But didn't the Orzhov handle taxes? What did I even do here that was worth taxing? You city people are so confusing.
Then he probably continues on with whatever he was doing.

The Orzhov aren't the government, they're the bankers. Which means painful loans and being forced to deal with them for a lot of business, particularly when they are have most of city's most prominent lawyers.

I thought for sure they were the banks, the federal reserve, AND the IRS, since they do bank stuff, print the money, handle all financing stuff, and the only ravnican card that mentions taxes in the game belongs to Orzhov.
I may be wrong though.

>You find my pockets, I pay your taxes

Yeah, but that flavor text is a descriptor of a Thrull Parasite
"The hunger of a vampire and the subtlety of a tax collector."

There aren't any examples anywhere explaining how taxes are actually handled on Ravnica. The Orzhov Syndicate's job is to regulate banking and trading. That being said, they'll gladly fine you and find ways to make it easy to fine you under their regulations and contracts. On the other hand, we have an example in Overrule of the Azorius levying fines for law-based reasons, meaning that they are more likely to be in charge of handling taxes.

Fair enough. Though I wonder if the Azorius would be willing to outsource tax collecting to the Orzhov. The ?US does.
Regardless, it's a mistake Thane would make, being a country "Adventure boy" from Zendikar and all.

I, the mighty DIOMEDES, owes none gold unless they can beat me in glorious combat! Bring your legions.

Arrestors and Wojeks first. If you're literally tearing up the city, then Boros Legion soldiers will probably step in.

yeah but the joke is Diomemedes can't lose.

I know. Just raining on his line.

Gaia, update the repo. Dear god, please come back to us!

...

are we dead yet? can we die?

Absolutely revtacular.
youtube.com/watch?v=3ZkqevyCrgY

some people think he's revtacular, but he just thinks he's free, he's just livin' his life there's nothing crazy about he

Murdock is against taxes as a personal principle.

You can go at any time famalam.

No one is stopping you.

For those of you with flakes that have loved ones or crushes, tell us about the confession that took place or would happen if they did it, and how you think that went/would go.

Well, I'm writing a story about it right now, I've just been too busy for two weeks to finish chapter three. I'm actually at a mental stumbling point on how I want this story to end, but I'm sure that by then the characters will have decided for me. I could mention what those stumbling points are, but they would come with spoilers and I have no idea whether or not anyone has read "Dreams & Wishes" or cares about spoilers.

Mephiri offers an alternative and sees if he can trick Bluefingers into wishing for some help collecting others' taxes or something.

Sir Joseph gets confused about how Bluefingers even found him specifically out of all of the infinite planes Rabiah is comprised of, but being a man of honor and duty, likely attempts to resolve his debt. Also, he wouldn't like the idea of being followed by the Azorius.

A lot of stuttering and beating around the bushes

She shut him in a burning church and left him to die.

Well there are more successful dating styles desu.

I am told she is stalking him and bullying people who get near him in that weird high school AU.

Murdock?

Anyway Diomedes got her to stop being as violently yandere after sitting with her through a lightning storm caused by Gaia killing Vronak.
Pic related is what Murdock is not doing.

She doesn't do pic related either.

I never meant Murdock to be yandere honestly but she was largely based on the main character f the sci-fi comics story I presented for my last year in comics school and dear gods she did plenty of crazy murdering sooo I guess it checks and I deserved it.

Dominarian Rhapsody.

It honestly sprung from the idea that she manipulated Serena in smooshing owlmom with a bookcase.

How did I lost this. High School AU is amazing.

Too busy moping?

It is neat, though you would have to find the threads on plebs since gaia never saved the stories.

We actually wrote it. Her and Igan bonded over their shared loss and shit then kissed and stuff. They'll probably fuck too.

Wait what?

Here, I posted it a few threads back, it's long so feel free to just skip to end.

bump for reasons

And so, in this late night, I do bump the thread.

Sure, if with moping you mean working on commissions for hundreds of dosh.

loadsa mone

I'm fuckign bathing in money like goddamn Uncle Scrooge don't you know.

So are now going to draw Vronak's flakes as pastel horses?