In this thread we post unconventional rewards

In this thread we post unconventional rewards

>"For saving my farm, you may have a horse or a daughter"

>finish a quest for the local zany alchemist
>He gives you a vast amount of money in the currency of the nation he swears he'll create

Well that's good because one Bison Dollar will be worth five English Pounds

a wood nymph fleshlight
yes, a stump with a hole bored in it

>Daughters are clearly too young to run a household while you're away adventuring, much less have children
>Also too young for anything but training and would be in constant danger during travels.

I'll take the horse, a bit more immediately helpful. Even if I do have a redhead fetish.

is it made from any sort of metal? I can smelt it down.

Is it paper? I can write on it or use it for kindling.

kindling or I can use it to distract some satyrs, fauns, or any other horny monster. Better that than my own butthole.

>A magical wine bottle that can turn any wine within into another type of wine, though the quality will be the same.

Still great if you only have a red wine but need a dessert wine.

I'm Irish, this is on our scratch-cards.

>Also too young for anything but training
>but training

>The vampire lord offers to tell you one secret he has learned in his 700 years of life

>Take a daughter
>Train her to become badass monster-hunting sidekick

Fucking mutants.

A DAUGHTER EH?

>That you also give the dick to.

I never understood why there was such a disgust for redheads (it's genuinely pretty).

Is it just a meme that stuck since the time when people hated the Irish?

>father is famous sorcerer
>every daughter has random selection of magic powers

> For saving my daughter I have only one just and fitting reward! A treasure map, handed down from my Great Great Grandfather! He was an adventurer, like yourselves! Amassed a great old horde! I'd go myself but I'm far too old for the journey...

Just Great Great Grandpa Dave's elaborate story for the kids. Couldn't never bring himself to shatter their illusion, they were always so proud of him.

>Subdomain: Lust

It's literally a pedo god.

I think that was implied user

I don't particularly want either, but it seems like it would be kind of insulting to not take a daughter if he offered.
I'm not going to have to turn into an animal for a year or some bullshit am I?

If it's good enough for the prophet (pbuh) it's good enough for me.

Seems pretty conventional.

Your average medieval farmer type is going to have a bunch of useless daughters hanging around. Why not give one in marriage to the hero, making him far more likely to keep saving your farm from goblins.

Truth be spoke

For saving our Bakery we shall give you our recipe book, and a box of saffron(you'll need it for some of the recipes).

They had to put fucking lust in there didn't they?

>since the time when people hated the Irish?
Look back further to ancient Greece. The red haired Thracians were hated. Tis an old mem.

Daughters were immensely valuable to peasants, user. Not only were they good around the house, you would often marry your daughter to the son of a neighboring peasant to ensure your line's prosperity.

Not to mention the daughter was still his child, moreso than a princess to the average King.

>tfw I still haven't gotten a god damn horse in Curse of Strahd

>He doesn't tell you what the daughter's powers are
>Have fun being an animal companion for 7 years!

The practice of killing off one's own children was incredibly widespread, hence stories like Hansel and Gretel.

He's literally the pedophile rapist God, user.

Curiously, they also have a god from that book associated with coddling, overbearing love and controlling behavior, her holy animal was the bear:

I don't actually have a problem with Redheads as I think it's interesting also, visually that is.

It's just fun to give them a hard time.

>I'll take the horse, a bit more immediately helpful. Even if I do have a redhead fetish.

That's pretty short sighted of you.

Laivatiniel is a dude though IIRC.
But yeah, they should've given the bear to Folca as a sacred animal.

They should've gone all-out and made Folca's sacred animal the puppy.

...

I've always liked the idea of rewards such as investments, properties, estates and the likes. Something I can rp-wise build of and manage and generally dick around with in between sessions.

For example any class can take on an estate to run, if th GM was fine with it I would design everything from a coat of arms, staffing, holdings and if I could, direct what I expect of them in a roleplay fashion. I do it in the hopes that the GM likes to see it and would enjoy seeing a player offer them something creative back.

So far they've never really commented or even mentioned them at all, do GM's like that sort of thing?

Do his clerics get a white van once thu reach a certain level?

>Not only were they good around the house, you would often marry your daughter to the son of a neighboring peasant to ensure your line's prosperity.

That's exactly what I said, except replace marrying her to another peasant with marrying her to the hero that just saved them.

>White van?

Does your Cleric do landscaping on the side or something? It's a black van, always a black van.

>As a reward here's a horse
>One session later you have to choose between effectively suicide or leave the horses to die
What most GMs do.

...

Step up your game.

My DM gave me underwear that would spawn a dildo inside on a codeword as a reward for one of my quests.

Probably the weirdest.

>wear it inside out as a glove
>Yell the codeword as you punch people
>?????
>Profit!

That's the black guards

By pure happenstance, the false treasure map leads to the den of an ancient thieves guild who were disbanded after the local Land Lord sicced some adventurers on them. While searching for Grandpa's hoard, you defeat the traps set to protect the treasure and the monsters that took up residence long after the guild abandoned it. Your reward is a smaller, but valuable collection of ill-gotten gains with absolutely no way of discerning who the proper owners are.

Not quite what you were expecting, but still worth your time.

I'll take a horse for my bride sir.
>you mean a daughter righ-
You know damn well what I said.

druids am I right

unless your bf/gf/bff is GM you should leave and never look back

>Playing paladin
>Summon up a god damned steed whenever I want to
>I call him Nibbles the warhorse
>He is my bestest bro
>Anything kills him? I just summon him up again

>Did I fucking stutter, yokel?

>wanting a nag

I named my horse in Dealands, Bank Note.

heh

Different time period than what he's talking about.

i'll take "how to kill a vampire" seems like it'd be useful.

Because Gingers have no souls.

But really the combination of orange hair (why they're called red heads when the hair clearly has an orange tone I'll never know), freckles, and pale skin just looks ugly to me.

The only red heads I like are those who die their hair red.

>he likes sjws with warning coloration

How can you stomach food with such shit taste?

Orange hair, freckles and weird pale skin is indeed a turn off, but the red/brown hair is the best thing ever to get, especially if you can match that with green psycho eyes.

>mfw a red/brown haired girl held a knife to my dick and then my neck.

Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

Animal Handling, which horse looks the healthiest (highest CON)?

fuck using it, saffron is worth damn close to it's weight in gold.

>(why they're called red heads when the hair clearly has an orange tone I'll never know)

Because things that we consider to be "orange" were once just called "red." The term "orange" was used to differentiate the specific shade of "red" (modern orange) that Maurice of Orange used as his personal color and heraldry. Since then, the differentiation has stuck around, seeing as how the distinction has proven useful.

Hence, the term "redhead" was once a completely accurate term.

>Because Gingers have no souls.

Wasn't that meme literally invented by SouthPark for the sake of a joke?

You guys don't like pale skin and freckles? What's wrong with you?

In the North of England that has been common knowledge since I was in First School, a good twenty years ago.

>"So, wait, the reward for my quest was 'oooh, I have friends now?' This 'friendship is the real treasure' stuff is bunk."
>"No, I said you'll never be alone again. I meant it. You'll see the next time you look for your reflection."
>"Whatever, man."

>one mirror later

>"Hi!"
>"Who are you?"
>"I'm your spirit bride!"
>"Don't you mean 'spirit guide,' like for some kind of vision quest or something?"
>"Nope."
>"So..."
>"You're possessed. By me. For the rest of your life. And we're getting married when you die."
>"Oh."

Yes. I do at least. I let my players help mold a world or country. My last player got a major magical Item and bought a small cabin with lots of acrage 6 miles outside of town to do druidly things in. The wizard has a dimension door hooked up to the tool shed and goes off to study for days at a time. But always makes it back in time for the next adventure. The barbarian has an upstairs room full of trophies and board games he loses regularly at. The cleric shares with the paladin and they tend to the house and chores. The theif sleeps in the cellar next to the wine and canning rack. His "area" is full of knick knacks he checks on constantly. While the house owner sleeps in the side room that resembles more of a sun room. She meditates by a tree every morning until the paladin inturupts her with a cup of coffee. Then they talk about life under the tree till they see the cleric out feeding chickens and his hound. The barbarian wakes up around 9am and ushers in the harder chores to do with the paladins help. By noon the rouge wakes up and whines about his hangover, only to dismiss himself from doing chores. Before a late dinner, the druid and the Barabrain race around the lake on horse back as the cleric and paladin pray. The wizard will stumble out of his door covered in ash and smelling of burnt hair. The theif will yell and hollar about the barbarians poor riding skills as dinner is served. Barb will pull out a board game as the wizard uncorks more wine. Laughs, jest s, and sharp tongued comments about mothers will fly as the game carries on into the night.

>The only red heads I like are those who die their hair red.
actually shit taste detected

died hair is the worst

Ask daughters if any of them want to join me in a life of ADVENTURE! Take most enthusiastic volunteer, raise her to be loyal and badass retainer, snuggle with her every night and stroke her hair, slowly escalate to /ll/.

>Can I join your next game user?

I won't say no to a daughter.

furthering along these lines. played a game where to counteract demons sending succubi, the gods of good would send their most devout followers a qt3.14angelwaifu


also, as for more alternative divine rewards, this is actually how dragonborn started in 3.5. good dragon god bahamut would let his non dragon followers turn into basically half platinum dragons

also, 10 year old girls make great squires

It's made of denatured boiled bone shards the size of your middle finger. I carved their denomination and serial numbers in before treating them with a concoction of my own discovery that permanently preserves the state they were applied that repairs future damage almost instantly. Sadly the mixture is not applicable to the medical field as it makes the bones extraordinarily porous and is quite toxic until it sets. Coincidentally do try not to eat the currency or reboil it.

>how do you maintain your skin after all these years?
I'll be rich.

Fuck, ill take a horse thanks

Why the fuck would you want the thanks of a horse? They have no concept of gratitude.

why do kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

Hardly. At its most expensive for both its only ever reached 1/4 the price per kilo of gold and at its worse its 1/20th. Tasty though.

I'll take a horse, thanks
Fuck youuuuuuuuu

Thats not a secret, user. Every kid has this knowledge, it's just physically incompatible and fundamentally unknowable by the adult mind.

I dont play online, orherwise Id run a CoC Campaign featuring your character getting rounded up by 1920s delta green or some order like such. Having to battle and live in a city with the guys you secretly work with.

Or a light hearted superheros where story archs and one shots happen more than the main campaign.

>I can pay you, but I only have nickles

Not all girls with dyed red hair are SJWs. It is unfortunate that SJWs have tainted the image of girls with dyed hair.

>but the red/brown hair is the best thing ever to get, especially if you can match that with green psycho eyes.
I agree.

Oh interesting thank you for that piece of history.

That's where I got it from.

I'd show you pics of this hot pornstar with dyed red hair but unfortunately all the few pics I have of her are NSFW and I don't know her name.

>Not all girls with dyed red hair are SJWs
Not all blacks are niggers, but all niggers are black.

Paranoia or something would be cool? Or any one-shot you would care to run.

+10 to bluff
But only the phrase "Get in, I'm a friend of your mother's"

How does the average PC compare with a peasant's usual marriage options?

On the one hand, a successful adventurer could retire pretty rich, or at least leave a significant sum for his widow and her family if he doesn't make it to retirement.

On the other hand, they're adventurers. It's unlikely they could accomodate a wife, considering their mobile (and dangerous) lifestyle, and I'd imagine adventurers have a crappy reputation (considering all the CN asshole rogues), and anyone with a grudge against the PCs could easily use such a connection to their advantage.

There's a much longer list of stuff that I'm not mentioning, and a lot depends on the setting, but how do you think the average PC is as a marriage canditate?

I like you.

Id need a computer to play online. And Ill need to figure out how to use the website to play on.

Depends on the time period and culture. Plenty of folk tales and founding stories of noble lines basically begin with we sacked a couple villages and settled down.

For saving my life you can have my pet lizard

All it does is follows you and is a loud ass lizard but your never certain it's the lizard making the loud noise because he never does it when your paying attention to him also in hindsight this lizard was probably never that mans pet he just happened to grab it and give it to you

I've always wanted a pet wizard!

Probably pretty shit. Long long times away from home, unguaranteed amounts of pay, high mortality rates, not a real job which is seen as lazy and unreliable, adventurers are those guys who go from town to town and farm to farm filling your daughters head with promises of riches and marriage and her belly with child before moving on and doing it all over again, you probably don't know jack shit about any "useful" trades so the family can't expect you to settle down in the area so they can't expect to see their daughter or kids or have you help them out. Its just all around better to hand her over to the stable hand, teach him farming, and have an extra hand now and several later farming purposes.

Can I have a horse and raise it as a daughter?

Because the irish used to behave like gyppos did.

Well it IS your horse, if you choose that as a reward.

The treasure is actually Great Great Grandpa Dave's extensive porn collection.

If you prefer voice chat there is always Skype and if you prefer text there is always IRC. Both can be used on a smart phone even if it's a bit more of a hassle compared to doing it on a computer.

>liking dirty micks coming here and not fighting there own damn war

Worth it. Vintage porn is the best.

fine if I still get to bone her

comfy as hell