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You are Hugo of Ramla
And you are looking for advice. While all of Jerusalem is engaged in a bloody struggle for the capture of Ascalon, you and your brother have found the time to fight one another. A quarrel has broken out between you and your lord brother, Wilhelm. The subject and point of contention is marriage, your brother has plans that go against your heart and honour, a match made without your consent. You love another, the converted Saracen, Sabeen.
You have just bid farewell to your friend Solomon. Given a command of Frankish troops, Solomon marches south to reinforce Gaza against an Egyptian force of Nubians, the elite force of the Caliph, the Nubian Guard. He had offered you a chance to come with him, to give you time away from your brother's dominating presence, but you had refused. Whatever disagreement you and your brother were having, your place was still by his side. Still, things could not stand as they were.
It occurred to you that there was possibly one person your brother would listen to, and one person that would grant you audience unannounced at this hour. That of Queen Melisende, master of Jerusalem and commander of this army. You drag your feet toward her camp, passing unchallenged by the guards. Your reputation as a warrior was growing, you were considered 'ferocious' and were known all throughout the camp. Not just for your prowess in battle, but for your misdeeds in Antioch, the abduction of a princess that only a skilled advocate had managed to keep you from being broken on a wheel or hanged from a noose.