MTG crap wins?

*through mill

>9th edition sealed, two-headed
>opening packs, having the greatest sealed pool ever
>decks building themselves while we flick through the cards
>5 min after opening the packs
>judge announces new rule: this was just a verification, we have to write down the good cards of the pool and hand it to some random team for them to play with
>wat
>the guys getting our sealed pool started playing 2 weeks ago
>we get a terrible pool
>manage to win 3rd place somehow
>noobs stomp everything around them and finish 1st place
>don't know if I'm happy for them or hate them for getting our awesome pool and a sure first place

Lost to mill, granted it was storm.

I was playing EDH with this guy who had an absolute shutdown control deck, once he shut me down he kept pinging me until I died. Next game I drew 20 some cards and played Neverending Torment and made him die on his draw step some turns later.

>Playing Magic origins sealed
>Pull 3 sphinx's tutelage and a couple draw spells.
>Manage to at one point have all three on the field and weave fate for 18 cards.

You had to give someone else cards from your card pool? That doesn't make any sense they are your cards.

Playing casual with friends
>Got a shit hand and a field full of tokens
>Friends are for the most part ignoring me since all I have are like 5 1/1's and a 2/2.
>Draw deceiver of form
>Put two more tokens on the field via some dumb effect.
>Play deceiver of form
>Go to combat, reveal Void winnowed and swing for 88 half-unblock-able for the victory.

> RtR comes out
> I go Juggalos
> Buddy goes Tokens
> Slip a few Rakdos charms into my deck for good measure (each creature does 1 damage to you)
> Eventually buddy started scooping as soon as he saw me tap two mana

10/10

>they just used my turn to manaburn me for 14
why did they get rid of this mechanic? seriously, it was fun, and many cards only worked with it.

Yeah. We opened the packs, noted rares and limited bombs and gave the pack to another team. The LGS wanted to make sure nobody cheated and decided this was the way to do so.

>playing edh
>using a black.dec
>mono green to my right and two others failing to get out of the gate across the table
>up to me to mop up rampypants
>later in the game, dude has a full field with ulamog, maybe one other titan, and and a host of other shit
>gloating about how "broken" his deck is
>It's up to me to halt this bullshit
>have the perilous vault but not enough mana to play/pop
>scan my graveyard to see what Yawg Will can do for me
>dark rit and a lake of the dead
>thatwilldopig.jpg
>turn comes around to me
>do as much as I can but completely forget to play the lake and wonder why I thought I had the answer
>pass the turn and immediately remember the lake
>rampfag gleefully runs everyone over

kill me

I was under a situation like that once, his battlefield was Full and he could kill everyone in 1-2 turns.

I manage to do about 18 damage and kill him. Weird thing is, just before the game he was talking about how Burn is useless in Commander.

>playing Riku Spellslinger EDH
>lead out with an early Charmbreaker Devil, then use an extra turn taking card
>realize I've just taken infinite turns since I only have one spell in my grave yard

it was kind of an "oops I win".

Glad that worked out for you mane. That story still chaps my ass to this day. No one needed to be taken down a peg more than that guy and I was too busy aiming a loaded gun at my foot.

>Playing conspiracy
>Running Blue/green/white
>Pretty much about to wash out of top table, last round
>somehow topdeck silent arbiter, only one creature can attack or block
>next topdeck is Terrastodon.
>Drop it and destroy all black land on field (and no one else playing white)
>3rd draw is "Unquestioned authority" (Protection from creatures)
>Kill three players in three turns, with a counterspell left in hand just in case
>I still feel bad

>His hands were shaking and he looked slightly ill.

Reminds me of a match during scars/innistrad I was experimenting with a w/b deck and got lucky against this guys delver deck. It was 1-0, he simply got up, mumbled something about not being his day and he left the LGS before the end of round one. That was my only win that night.

>Turn 6 play melek
>Turn 7 play galvenoth
>Turn 8 trigger on the stack brainstorm, put enter the infinite on top
>gg

Report them to WotC. That's against the rules.

Not that user, but I don't see it.
Which ruling are you referring to?

...

>THS/KTK standard
>In top 2 for the first time ever
>Playing mono-green stompy against RDW
>He burns away most of my threats thanks to stoke the flames and other miscelaneous burn spells
>Have a field of a few elvish mystics, servant of the scales, and one heir of the wilds
>Last of my turn, he has lethal on board
>Have gather courage and aspect of hydra in hand and 8 devotion total because of a bow of nylea hanging around.
>Figure fuck it, just swing and rustle his feathers with how big I can get it
>Didn't do the math until he said didn't block
>Realize that aspect for 8+bow activation+gather courage would make 13, which would be exact damage to end the game
>We both kind of sit there in disbelief as we shuffle for game two, which I won
I miss this card so much.

Boy, this was 9th Edition. This LGS doesn't even exist anymore.

Plying dragonstorm back when it was standard legal felt pretty cheap. You basix ally won by turn 4 if you had lotus bloom in your hand. I won a ton of games with it but it was never hard and you could easily beat people who were much better than you

...

no it's not, sealed pool verification is standard at high level events.

Read it all again carefully, this was beyond sealed pool verification as some of the bomb cards he had was passed on to another team to actually play with. That is NOT a sealed pool verification.

This is definitely wrong. This is the easiest way to do sealed pool verification, but usually there's a list of every card in the set and you write down 1x of so-and-so, 2x of such-and-such, etc

It's completely legal and prevents cheating.

There was a Constructed Standard (Mirrodin/Kamigawa/9th edition) 2HG tournament at Gen Con 2005. They'd just officially sanctioned the format. A friend of mine was also going to Gen Con, and knew going into it how bullshit Erayo, Soratami Seeker was in 2HG (The official ruling was that if it flipped it countered the first spell both heads cast per turn), so we went into that tournament with the most broken deck in the format. Using twiddles and free artifacts, we could reliably play and flip Erayo on turn 1, or turn 2 at the latest, and then a few turns later I could shut our opponents completely out of the game by dropping Rule of Law. There was technically a win condition or two in our decks, but we were mostly relying on our opponents scooping to being unable to cast spells.

The tournament was six or seven rounds (no cut to top 8) of the most one-sided Magic I have ever played. Until the last round where we faced the mirror for first place, none of our matches stretched beyond 10 minutes. Erayo got banned from constructed 2HG soon after, and I didn't see another constructed 2HG tournament advertised at all for years.

Ah. They took that reminder off the scars reprint.
Probably changed the rulings after the rule change, too. Cheers.

...

>SOI Standard, last match
>Going 0-3 with my makeshift RU spellslinger deck starring garbage rare TITI
>Playing against a Mardu ormendahl and devil deck
>Have one TITI out, only two ice counters on it, and five health
>He has six devils, two thopters, some generic white creatures, eight health, and an Abbey ready to flip
>I cast Tormenting Voice, discard Fiery temper, and remove an Ice counter
>After I remove a counter, he asks me how many counters are on TITI
>I say 1
>He sacs his two thopters and non-devil creatures to flip Ormendahl
>I pay the Madness cost, target him, and flip TITI, bouncing out Ormendahl and the devils, and swing for the victory
>Turns out he asked me how many I had before removing the counter, not how many I currently have

Again read carefully what he posted.

"judge announces new rule: this was just a verification, we have to write down the good cards of the pool and hand it to some random team for them to play with"
>hand it to some random team for them to play with
>TO PLAY WITH

That is not how Sealed Pool verification should work. Then read at the end of what he said

"the guys getting our sealed pool started playing 2 weeks ago"
"we get a terrible pool"
"don't know if I'm happy for them or hate them for getting our awesome pool and a sure first place"

All of these statements infer that the guy wasn't playing with the same sealed pool that he started with but rather someone elses.

This actually seems pretty standard. The only thing that seems out of place is that they only had to make note of the bombs and the rares instead of every card in the pool. Most of the big prereleases and sealed deck tournaments I've been to in the past would give you a paper bag with the sealed product inside and a photocopied checklist. You'd open the product, fill out the checklist, then put everything back into the bag. Then the judge would instruct you to hand your bag to someone else, and whichever bag you ended up with was the one you played with (and it probably wasn't the one you opened).

That's actually against WotC's rules though.

I was playing monored dragons and my friend was playing monoblue Mill/Pillowfort. So I draw really poorly and can't get my dragons out fast enough before he puts out a Guard Gomozoa and enchants it with Followed Footsteps. I see that he's clearly won the game since my dragons literally can't do damage or fly over the growing Gomozoa army and I try to scoop. Since I'm still technically at full health and have most of my library, he says "No, wait, lets play it out!"

I explain to him that I literally cannot defeat him since every turn he gets a new undamagable flying defender and I can't churn out dragons fast enough for it to even be an interesting match. Still, he insists we play it out and he takes goddamn 20 turns, just growing his army and smirking the whole time, all while making me mill with Jace. I was THIS close to just picking up my deck and leaving, when he finally mills my whole deck and he has the gall to say "Good game."

I was salty as fuck and I told him "No, that was the stupidest game of Magic I have ever played. Next time I scoop, let me do it because if this bullshit happens again I won't play with any of your blue decks ever again."

He conceded that it was one sided, but he 'just wanted to see his deck combo perfectly'

Like, fuck you buddy, I'm not here to wait an hour while you masturbate your Jace and Friends. At least when I totally demolish an opponent its less than a 20 minute game. Fuck.

I'm still mad.

It's not standard. You do not play with someone elses Sealed Pool and they do not play with yours. You play with your own sealed pool and the same goes with everyone elses. It is NOT meant to be passed along and to be played by another team/player. What you just described is also against WotC's rules for Sealed Deck play as well.

It appears to be the rules NOW, but from what I could find, that rule changed last year (magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/news/sealed-pool-procedure-update-starting-gp-sydney-and-gp-madison-2015-10-08) , while the original story and most of my sealed deck experience is from over 10 years ago. So back in 2005 it certainly was within the rules (and the norm) to be playing with a pool someone else opened while someone else played with the cards you opened.

I'm pretty sure they didn't have a rule because common sense told them they didn't need one.

>Next time I scoop, let me do it
FWIW, you don't have to ask. The rules repeatedly state that you can concede at any time, under any circumstance (even while your turn is currently being controlled by someone else, you can concede!)

Why is this so hard to fathom? It was a real thing that happened in real Magic tournaments. You just went into them with the philosophy that "your" cards weren't the ones you opened, but the ones you ended up with after the judges got done instructing you to pass the bags around. I now understand that they've eliminated the "feel bad" of opening better than what you got, but it was a quick and easy way to register product while minimizing the chance of cheating via sneaking in outside product.

That rules change is a change on PROCEDURE, that is not a rules change on how sealed decks are constructed or played with. That change is mostly about cutting down on cheating(people have snuck cards into sealed pools and sometimes entire boosters before) and also for speeding up deck registration and checking every player's sealed deck pool to cut down on time. Even before those specific rule changes you were still playing from your own pool of cards in a Sealed Deck tournament and a long time ago Sealed Deck pools used to have Tournament packs alongside the boosters but that no longer exists. But the point remains that you only ever played with the cards YOU opened, not anyone else.

just fucking use lightning bolt nigga god damn

I was playing a mono blue deck and opened with 2 islands. It was mono blue and I had some of my better cards in hand so I didn't think starting with only 2 mana would be an issue and went with it. after like 5 turns I still had my 2 islands and useless cards in my hand and the only card I could even cast was a redirect. The guy didn't have my misfortune and had a full field of creatures and was 1 swing away from ending the game. Instead of just ending it he used some runescarred demon jank to cast an infinite fireball at me. "I cast redirect."

Yeah. Obviously it was against the rules to mix and match cards from different pools or to pass decks to other players between rounds or anything stupid like that, you were passing the entire pool around one time after opening and before deckbuilding. Which is what the original guy's story described and what I've corroborated as being a real thing from having actually done it several times in DCI sanctioned tournaments. The original story sounds like it was kind of a slapdash registration by just noting the "important" cards from the pool instead of the entire pool, but that (and perhaps the organizers not being as up front as they should have been) was the only thing that was irregular from a sealed deck tournament of its time.

I'm laughing too much at this response.

Original guy here. This is as accurate as it can be.

This one time me or my opponent got mana flooded or starved and I lost or won. It actually happened more times than I can count over the years but the game is still really well designed for reasons.

Every single time I temur battle raged an opponent for double digit exact damage when playing Heroic in Theros/Khans

Especially through blockers.

>Even before those specific rule changes you were still playing from your own pool of cards in a Sealed Deck tournament

That is incorrect. Here is the section on Sealed pool registration from before the recent rules changes.

>In Sealed Deck tournaments, the Head Judge may require players to perform a deck swap prior to deck construction. Players receive unopened product and register the contents (except non-foil basic land cards) on decklists. Foil basic land cards must be registered and kept with the registered card pool. Any card in a booster that is not a card from the expansion of the opened booster is retained by the player that registers the cards (e.g., a player that registers the contents of a booster during a deck swap keeps the token card, if any). Tournament officials then collect the recorded card pools and redistribute them randomly. A player may randomly receive the product he or she registered. The Head Judge should require players to sort the cards they register according to some criteria (e.g. by color and then alphabetically) to assist the player receiving the pool.

At GP Las Vegas for Modern Masters 2015, there were several hundreds of players that dropped before round 1 just to keep the cards in their pools.

My friend told me about magic. After convincing me to join a tourney, he loaned me a deck. The deck had proper ratios, costs, etc. and I then proceeded to draw either only or no lands the entire 5 round tourney. I promptly fucked off and we laugh about it to this day. I lost interest in playing, but I didn't pay anything out of pocket so I find it funny. I think the most expensive single card I played was a counterspell.

>EDH
>I grab my Sharuum deck which is basically a pile of cool artifacts I like
>the only combo is an infinite mana combo that can't really end a game
>opponents are Sliver Hivelord and Kaervek
>you can imagine what the Hivelord deck looks like
>Kaervek is modified from an old vampire build of his but with more of a focus on enchantments and "casting matters"
>Painful Qundary and Possibility Storm, most notably
>so the game is going along
>things are happening
>boards get blown up
>Possibility Storm comes out
>oh boy oh boy, let's see what artifact I can hit
>Ethersworn Canonist
>oh cool
>wait
>wait
>ah crap
>Possibility Storm into a few sphinxes and eventually win through damage
Boy it sure is fun to watch my opponents do nothing.

I probably would have just scooped. Bummer way to lose.

Deserves it though.

I can do you one better.
3x SOI I managed to put together a deck with several copies of fleeting memories and Startled awake, went 3-1

this
>draft a 40 card deck with 16 lands
>draw a no land hand
>mulligan down to a hand of 6 lands
>mulligan down to a hand of 5 lands
>scry away a land
>t1 draw a land
>t2 draw a land

why is life so terrible

>16 lands
>draft

There's your problem right there. Unless everything had a cmc of 3 or less in your deck you should be playing 17 land, 18 in some other cases.

The thing is, mulligans 2 and 3 he drew hands of nothing but land.

It's a problem I've had from time to time in limited, less so in constructed despite the increased statistical chances.

Sounds like he's also a bad shuffler.

i'm a bad shuffler

What is this
A PICTURE FOR ANTS

...

>Theros had recently dropped
>Playing a red/white total agro deck
>Run up against a guy playing a mid range deck
>Turn one I play a plains, favored hoplite
>Turn two play a mountain
>Turn three play fabled hero
>Nobody else in my scene played anything like my deck, so it always surprised experienced players for some reason. So I wasn't too surprised to see the mistake he made next.
>Turn four of mine he has two creatures out, I have four lands and give my hero madcap skills and swing. he wants to save his creatures and counterattack so he lets the damage go through.
>tap a mountain and titan strength lets my 4-4 deal lethal on turn four
>He was shocked, and I remembering him telling his buddies "That's it; I just got twentied."
>Game two, I draw my perfect hand and know he has no chance.
>Turn one play hoplite again
>Turn two he makes the awful mistake of playing an enchantment (which I forget now), believing he can win the game by building his field when in reality my deck always either won by turn six or lost.
>So, turn two I give Hoplite two ethereal armors and swing
>Turn three he puts up a creature, I again don't remember if it was sizable or good or anything because it doesn't matter when its alone and madcap is a thing
>Turn three madcap and swing for lethal
I was a new player at the time but that deck served me extremely well. I was able to make up for my skill being not quite perfect (which was noticeable because of the scene I play at) by making a deck that narrowed the game down largely to luck and the element of surprise in a meta dominated my BW mutavault decks. I won or split in several tournaments, and I kept the deck with slightly fewer results until theros rotated out, taking all but three cards in the deck with it. I haven't built another standard deck since, and I probably will in college if I can refamiliarize myself with the meta.

One more story because I just remembered it:
>Drafting SOI not too too long ago
>Because the players closer to you at the table have an slight advantage by seeing the doublefaced cards you draft, every player holds up every such card for the whole table to see when drafting one.
>We all see someone draft an Abbey first card of the first pack
>He procedes to spend the entire rest of the draft building the most frustrating deck, filled with that 1-1 deathtouch rat and sanatarium skeltals designed solely to chump block until he draws Abbey
>I drafted an awesome werewolf deck that I was super happy with, got mad prophets, good removal, and that enchantment that buffs all your werewolves.
>Run into Abbey guy first round, win game one eventually after a very long game in which he drew abbey but didn't have enough time to play it
>Game two he gets it opening hand
I still manage to get him down to two life by gaining control of it for a turn and pulling crazy combat tricks
>The frustrating thing was that it didn't matter in the slightest how well I played, he just chump blocked and waited to flip abbey, and waited, and waited. Skill was not at all a factor because the card's ridiculous.
>Lose game three in a similar way, get him down to five but ultimately cant win against the demon.

>played a blood moon into open fetches
>opponent doesn't fetch in response
>opponent scoops.

I won a match in my first theros draft by milling my opponent out with the ladyboy planeswalker

That's how sealed pool verification USED to work, they didn't change it until after MM15 came out and everyone freaked out about dropping with Foil Goyf.

FuckI loved RW Heroic.
Upkeep God's Willing into upkeep Titan's Strength into Temur Battle Rage... GIVE ME STRENGTH.

>ladyboy
Now that's the dumbest nickname for Ashiok I've ever heard.

What is this, a picture for myr?

play EDH game setting up
>>EDH night at the LGS, everyon'e having a good time
>>People lay out some fun decks, nothing too competitive but not complete pushovers either
>>Game starts, everyone is ramping and dropping rocks on turn 2-3
>>My turn three I drop Vedalken Orrery
>>Sisay's trying to flip his deck on to the table, so people are too busy with him to care about my instant speed bullshit.
>>Turn 4 drop Leveler
>>Turn 5 drop Lab Maniac on my upkeep
>>Everyone stops having a good time and just stares kinda blankly for a bit at me
>>They all quietly pick up their cards and break up into small pods

I never felt so shit for winning with a crappy little deck.

it's very good in monoG stompy in modern

people at my LGS are still mad at me for playing UW heroic for close to a year

>Dark assencion draft
>pick all lost in the woods
> playing a 55 card deck

I never felt so cheap before

Whenever I combo out turn two with infect and my opponent spent their first turn playing a cantrip

>theros prele
>play a rw heroic deck
>pretty much carried by the fact that i pulled the red god
>final match for fifth place against u/g monstrosity
>i aggro well in the begining and beat him down to 2 before he can get up a deffensive wall of big green creatures i can't breach
next turn will be lethal for me
>topdeck a land that just allows me to cast boulderfall
Me: I cast boulderfall targeting you for four and my labyrinth champion...
>he interupts me
Him: Nope, Dissolve. I win. Gee Gee Ee Zee
>he actually did say it like that
Me: Wait hang on, I targeted my arena champion, i still get to ping you for two.
>he gets upset and calls over a judge
>since he countered the spell he the heroic should not trigger
nope
>well i changed my mind about who i targeted after he countered it
nope.avi
>I get fifth place
>He gets sixth
>We still get the same ammount of boosters in the end
>He refuses to play against me without whitnesses afterwards because i can't be trusted

Inversely:
Whenever I'm tapped out, my Infect opponent tries to swing for lethal, and I bounce their creature back to their hand with Snapback.

Double points if I then combo out the next turn.

But that win should feel great.

What a cunt.

Fuck that guy, but I totally understand why you'd feel shitty while that happened.

Prereleases should be causual things though. I don't go there to argue about rules with some wanker who is unable to read.

That and having to deal with the fallout for a year

Played a similar situation as this.
>playing mazes end
>opponent plays a urw combo deck
>he plays an enchantment that allows him to make any ammount of faerie tokens with haste.
>I ask him how many
>fifteen billion
>play pic related
>enjoy delicious win

Ahhhh, good old Rakdos Charm, one of the finest ways to ruin Splinter Twin's day in Modern.

Be me playing Artarka red, im teching pic related and am the only one on the deck that did in my whole area. playing top 2 of an event, against an Rogueish Assault formation deck, game is stalled out with me with Swiftspear Abbot and 3 1/1 gobbos, drop this guy turn 4 pass, he makes another fatty and drops me to 8 or 9, passes, i draw and top deck a tormenting voices, discard a mountain, Draw Become immense & Temur Battle Rage, Swing with team. oponent makes reasonable blockers. cast spells pump whole team to some silly number all with double strike and trample. worked out at like 30-40 damage.

I've won due to misunderstandings.

Such as stopping my opponent at the combat damage step to say that I actually had something to play before damage.

I've also won before when I accidentally kept sideboard cards in my mainboard.

Oath of gatewatch draft.
Getting assblasted, no board at 6 life, opponent still at 20.
Opponent hits me with reality smasher, then main phase 2 drops a newlamog.
My turn, topdeck the red uncommon that steals a creature for a turn.
Say fuck it, might as well. Take his ulamog and swing.
He had exactly 20 cards in deck.
Maximum arousal.

>playing Origins draft
>have managorger hydra out and some thopters
>attack with all of them
>next turn, my opponent plays an act of treason on my managorger
>its a 10/10 now
>get destroyed into oblivion
>mfw

nice

Pretty recent one:
>about to win overwhelmingly
>opponent casts Emrakul
>well, not much he can do except kill my biggest dude, this is still in the bag
>topdeck Nahiri's Wrath

>Nahiri's Wrath
Y tho

It was limited.

Still.