When they get elves RIGHT

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When did Lord Zedd get into a fantasy game?

Symbaroum does them fairly well in my opinion.

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I mean there's something to be said about having a favorite, but you could at least try the variety pack.

She is pure perfection

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Since when elves are tough buff guys in heavy armor?

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Since when are they not master swordsmen and powerful sorcerers clad in mithril and starlight?

>space elves are all twelve feet tall
>ciri's abusive elfdad is a manlet despite also being a space elf

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Alternatively:

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Is this elves done right?
reddit.com/r/worldbuilding/comments/4nt5og/question_a_question_about_female_elven_anatomy/
>I wanna apologize in advance if any of this sounds unprofessional or if I get some things wrong. I'm definitely not a genius on these things considering I'm male.

>So in my world, elves are slender. And when I mean slender, I mean the average elven body type is very thin (obesity in elves can happen though, along with bulking up and curving, though it takes more work than it does for humans).

>Now, one thing I noticed a lot in fantasy is the trend of making women as busty as possible. So, I wanted go reverse that in my elven population. Therefore, elven women are incredibly flat chested. There is substance enough to differentiate from boys but barely. Now, the breasts are important to us because they feed our children and are storages of fat that produce milk. We generally have 2-3 children within at least 10 years and after that we don't really feed anyone.

>Well, what if we only had 2-3 kids within a 10 year range of time—and then continued on living 200 years afterwards? I am trying to find a logical reason, other than just being designed that way, as to why elven women would have such flat chests. Is there? Or does none of that have any correlation to breast size at all?

>Edit: This is slightly related, but what about males? Is there any correlation of penis size to body fat? I'm thinking elven microdicks might've been the reason why breeding between humans and elves never took place in my world

>Therefore, elven women are incredibly flat chested.
>elven microdicks
>73 comments

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>tfw that's a still from a shitty comic book movie instead of a Stormbringer adaptation

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You forgot frost

>. Now, the breasts are important to us because they feed our children and are storages of fat that produce milk.

Not true. "Flat" women IRL can breastfeed as well as endowed ones.

>shitty comic book movie
Bitch I will fight you.
The Hellboy films are decently enjoyable. I mean they aren't great works of art, but they're good solid fun and don't deserve to be called shitty.
And if you're calling Hellboy comics shitty then I don't even know what to say to someone so monumentally wrong.

"What elves lack in engineering, crafting, intelligence, bravery, skill, or hygiene, they make up for in raw, unwashed numbers, and once-mighty dwarven civilizations may crumble to the hordes."
"Elves are the only race which wholeheartedly accepts the devouring of enemy combatants."
"Elves find torturing as an example acceptable, but condemn other forms of torture and consider torturing for information misguided. To elves, keeping any trophy of any kind is an unthinkable act. Elves begrudgingly allow for killing animals when done in self-defense, and the killing of other elves by an elf is justified if there is an extremely good reason for doing so. For elves, the killing of plants, especially trees, is unthinkable. On the other hand, the killing of neutral beings and enemies is acceptable. Elven society seems to be regulated by shame from the community, rather than by threat of punishment. As such, elves never offer serious or capital punishment to criminals; instead, elves found to have committed vandalism, trespassing or theft are reprimanded, while those convicted of treason, lying, breaking oaths, assault or participating in slavery are forced into exile."

Elves < Crundle < Troglodyte < Kobold

Actually I really liked Odin's Sphere elves. I think in general elves should be more fairy-like than they use to be.

They're sub-par compared to any normal adventure film, and normal adventure films aren't usually great to begin with.
The only good comic book movies are the rare few that no one actually knows is based on a comic book, so they have to stand on their own merits.

MODS

Gimme some privacy and i'll do him(her?) right.

That is actually true. Breast-size is a false indicator of milk production and is thought to be more an adaptation based on human's upright-standing nature. Mandrils and baboons use their butts to advertise sexually, and humans do to a degree as well (shapely hips, round butts), but given that humans stand up more often than crawl around, they need a means of advertising sexuality that is more visible. That's where boobies come in, they're much more visible when standing and mimic the butt's curvature and shape.

Also the idea that dick-size is related to fat content. Dick-size is determinant on the spongy tissue present in the dick and blood flow. Though also a false-correlation, dick-size at rest compared to erect aren't dependent on each other either.

Wait, what? This isn't a great thread, but this reaction seems excessive.

Hellboy is a freaking masterpiece of comics.

Movies are "eh," but they're still a good deal of fun. The Golden Army was especially fun in the Troll Market, where we get to see just how wacky and weird Guillermo del Toro can get.

1/2

Meh, the elves, at least how they were presented in the game were nothing more than just humans with long ears

2/2

>they're much more visible when standing and mimic the butt's curvature and shape
>boobs are fake asses

Wait, was Corvus supposed to be an elf?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=3aB6CPyO0Ww

>every tit man is secretly an ass man in denial
>yfw

Yes. heretic.wikia.com/wiki/Corvus
It's much more obvious in Heretic II, because it's 3rd-person and he doesn't wear a hood.

Ah, never played the second one
But still, it's kinda unexpected that fantasy magic-user doomguy is an elf

The first Hellboy film is just good. I'd read no Hellboy whatsoever and was vaguely aware that I had friends who worshiped Mignola, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.

The second film is nowhere near as good except for in one department: the art and design. Holy SHIT the art and design. Just... all of it. The movie is incredibly gorgeous, probably one of the prettiest films I'd seen in a long times.

Not if the makers were Tolkien fans.

I was so excited when these guys showed up in game.

Then it was back to political bullshit and I was done.

That is a really cool sword design.

Fëanor is the only elf ever "done right"

The whole fucking POINT of the elves is that their greatness is their greatest defect and their ultimate tragedy.

Yes

>mfw mothafuckas gonna get zapped

That's if you want them to be JRRT's Noldor.

If you're somehow not trolling, you should legit kill yourself.

I am not joking
I am not being an asshole.
It is simply and objectively better for you to not live anymore.

>getting heated over imaginary fantasy creatures

Go outside and get some air, it's good for you.

Fun fact:
These are all "dudes".

Ape Sapien isn't an alien, if that's who you mean. Do spoiler tags work on Veeky Forums? I can explain if anyone wants to know his origin.

There are great apes out there, user. They've been shitting up the air for decades.

>Elves done right
>Majority of pics are of pointy eared anime pedo shit

Shit thread/10

You mean Avallach?
Geralt is around 6 feet tall and Avallach is at LEAST a head taller then Geralt.
He's short for and Aen Elle sure, but he's WAY tall compared to most of the other characters.

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Sonce they realized they always have the highest levels of testosterone and an eternity to bulk up.

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Degenerate Needing Privacy to Fuck...

Spoilers work.

Go for it.

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Underrated post.

>I stand alone
>No one's by my side
> I DARE YOU. COME OUT! YOU *COWAAAARD*!
>Now it's me. Or *you*

/thread

THE FATE OF US ALL

>political bullshit

?

heard this was pretty good, sort of a new take on classic drakar och demoner. Is that so?

>Literally calling a god of evil a coward bitch
Damn Tolkein could create incredible imagery.

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dwarf fortress if i'm not mistaken

TES

The Noldor were metal as all hell.

My nigga.

You read I Shall Wear Midnight ?

Aching's series slightly, slightly makes elves a lesser threat, but they're still pretty great

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my double niggah!

> search thread
> no mention of the true aldmeri masterrace

N'wah.

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trolling aside i liked the horny fourth reich elves from lorwyn

that better be a dick you fucker

>aldmeri
>posts dunmer

what did he meme with this?

It is.

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ANOMANDER FUCKING RAKE UP IN HERE

Northern, tribal forest-elfs representing.

these fuckers are brutal

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