It's game time, Veeky Forums, and you forgot to roll a fucking character...

It's game time, Veeky Forums, and you forgot to roll a fucking character. You know that you'll be kicked out of the group if you don't have something, and you don't have time to think.

What is your character, Veeky Forums?

whothefuckismydndcharacter.com/

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I default to Assault Swordmage. No need to roll.

>CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, I'M GOING TO BE A FUCKING

>SENSITIVE HUMAN MONK FROM A BUSTLING CITY MARKET WHO HAS TWENTY-SEVEN SIBLINGS TO PROVIDE FOR

I won't lie, I'd play this.

Check this shit out
100% will roleplay the frak out of this shit

Gives your GM plenty of plot hooks.

I mean sure there's the basic "kidnap the siblings" but if you've got 27 of the fuckers then, shit, there's so much that can get involved here. Think of all the connections. Politicking between your asshole brothers, screening romantic partners, getting into trouble with the guard... and all the birthday parties!

Oh yeah, there's a ton of stuff that can be done with this. Just the methods he employs to feed twenty-seven siblings alone are fun to think about.

>MISERABLE TIEFLING BARBARIAN FROM THE SEALED CITY WHO ALWAYS LOOKS THEIR BEST

Suave, fake-it-til- you-make-it, reformed warrior trying to integrate into society but can't kick the savagery habit sounds like fun...

I'd play it.

>driven Half-elf Cleric from the petrified wood who insists they are the reincarnation of a legendary warrior

Not gonna lie, this could be a fun character.

Top website OP.

>pompous Halfling Paladin from the most vile of swamps who never turns the other cheek

Yeah, I can see it. Honour-bound noble, protector of the family estate, including serfs. A bit grim and a bit snobbish, but ultimately a good person.

>plain-speaking Half-elf Rogue from a powerful trading town who ran afoul of the goblin mob

Neat.

>plucky Tiefling Warlock from the endless wastes who believes in racial purity
>tiefling
>racial purity

>brave Human Paladin from the improbable peaks who is trying to avoid a prophecy
Fucking generic scrub tier

Ready for it.

CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, I'M GOING TO BE A FUCKING

RESPECTFUL HALF-ORK WARLOCK FROM A DILAPIDATED MANSION WHO WAS RAISED BY GHOSTS

I've never played a character raised by ghosts. This could be fun.

>"my dad's more demonic than your dad!"

>FLIRTATIOUS DWARF SORCERER FROM THE FOREST OF FACES WHO HAS NO CONCEPT OF PERSONAL SPACE

This could work, or it could be really annoying. Depends on the group, and on the person playing the character.

I'd make the character a female dwarf, and make her talk like a stereotypical southern belle while leaning in on people and asking them if they can feel the magic.

>A RESPECTFUL HUMAN BARBARIAN FROM THE ENDLESS CORNFIELDS WHO IS A COMPLETE EXHIBITIONIST

Nudist Peasant with Anger Issues!

Nah, an exhibitionist means he gets off on showing his junk off, but respectful means he doesn't do it unless he knows people are cool with it.

So he wears a loincloth and occasionally asks, "Hey, would you mind if I raise this and show you my genitals?"

>DISRUPTIVE DRAGONBORN WIZARD FROM A TRAVELLING BAND WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE IN MAGIC, EVER

Wat

This is going to be fucking great

>Hey wizard, cast a fireball!

>Ugh, I'm not actually casting a fireball. Magic doesn't exist. I'm just hallucinating all this. There you go, one crispy non-existent orc.

TACTLESS HUMAN WIZARD FROM THE BEST LIBRARY IN THE CITY WHO REALIZED THE IMPORTANCE OF LITERACY FAR TOO LATE IN LIFE
That makes no sense.

>I'm going to roll the stats for a fucking

>chipper Dwarf Bard from a bustling city market who hates the monarchy

Vive la Revolution!
>focus component is vials of chemicals
>somatic component is fucking with said chemicals.

>CALLOUS HALF-ELF SORCERER FROM A POMPOUS WIZARD SCHOOL WHO IS HAUNTED BY THE GHOST OF THEIR FATHER

I am now imagining the Nappa gag from Dragon ball abridged.

Also Elves are now Sayans.

Mite b cool.

This sounds like my kind of character.

>I'M GOING TO ROLL THE STATS FOR A FUCKING

>MOROSE GNOME WIZARD FROM THE ICEBERG SEA WHO WAS BADLY BURNT BY A SORCERER

This actually sounds great.

>I'M GOING TO ROLL THE STATS FOR A FUCKING

>PEACEFUL HALF-ORC FIGHTER FROM A MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON WHO JUST WANTS THEIR MONEY BACK
Change fighter to bard and I'd be one of the Blues Brothers

>lost their shadow in a bet
I've always wanted to fucking play this but I've never gotten the chance.

Cleric/bard because They're on a mission from God.

>I'M GOING TO ROLL THE STATS FOR A FUCKING

>OUTGOING HALF-ORC MONK FROM THE FORKED ISLANDS WHO ADDS A NOTCH TO THEIR SWORD EVERY NIGHT

I really liked this one.

Sounds like a shady deal.

Goddamnit

Barbarians unite!

CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, I'M GOING TO BE A FUCKING

MACHIAVELLIAN HUMAN BARBARIAN FROM THE SLUMS OF A PORT CITY WHO RAN AWAY AT THE AGE OF ELEVEN

Dickens mode activated.

"It can all be explained scientifically, you know."

>churlish Half-elf Wizard from a deserted island who was badly burnt by a sorcerer

Damn straight, I'm gonna learn the best magic because sorcerers are fake ass poser bitches

>captcha is gallahad bluff

And that shall be his name.

Check this shit out, I'm going to be a fucking adventurous Dragonborn Wizard from the base of a volcano who has serious daddy issues.

I'm ok with this...

I'm not gonna lie, I'd play every one of these characters. I've been wanting to run a one shot dungeon crawl and I think I'll generate some of these characters.

>CONCEITED TIEFLING SORCERER FROM A RECENTLY ERUPTED VOLCANO VILLAGE WHO IS TRYING TO AVOID A PROPHECY

the last of a coven of sorcerers who survived the wrath of a volcano god and now must live through a final destination style event cycle.

i'd bang it

I'm going to roll the stats for a fucking
talented Human Barbarian from a town where orcs are bought and sold as slaves who is absolutely astonished by jugglers

>I'm going to roll the stats for a fucking

>crass Half-orc Sorcerer from a company of sellswords who is writing an epic poem about the party's adventure

Sounds pretty fun actually

CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, I'M GOING TO BE A FUCKING
DELIGHTFUL ELF SORCERER FROM AN ILLUSORY FOREST WHO MAKES INAPPROPRIATE JOKES AT THE WORST TIMES

Did I just make Elf Carlos?

>literally magical half-orc Xenophon

All of these things look pretty fucking rad

Top fucking website user. Good for making NPCs on the fly as well

>TACTLESS DWARF MONK FROM A RUN DOWN TAVERN WHO PARTIES HARD, WAY TOO HARD

It never rains there. No, like, it pretty much never does, just like other deserts.

But the bit of rain it does get? Lasts forever, never evaporates or soaks into the ground. You'd be surprised how much has built up.

This makes a lot of sense. Love it.

overemotional Dwarf Rogue from the petrified wood who has gotten away with murder

Schindler's List blatant ripoff?

> I'm going to roll the stats for a fucking
> Proud Half-orc warlock from the city of lights who fights for undead rights

Holy crap it rhymes!

I guess orcs are jews now.

Sounds fun

stern Half-orc Fighter from a halfway house who finds it impossible to speak to girls

>COLD DWARF BARBARIAN FROM AN ISLAND THAT CAN'T BE REACHED BY BOAT WHO CAN'T SILENCE THE VOICES

Sounds fucking metal.

>DUTIFUL HUMAN PALADIN FROM A BUSTLING CITY WHO KNOWS SEVEN DANGEROUS SECRETS

This is actually fucking awesome.

>A FUCKING FLAMBOYANT GNOME RANGER FROM THE DUNGEON INSPECTOR'S GUILD (LOCAL #422) WHO IS DYING OF A PLAGUE AND SEARCHING FOR A CURE

There's a dungeon inspectors guild. This is already fun, and the rest arent bad too.

>CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, I'M GOING TO BE A FUCKING HEADSTRONG HALF-ELF MONK FROM A BUSTLING CITY WHO IS IN WAY TOO DEEP WITH THE WRONG SORT OF PEOPLE

>You think your character is cool? My character is a fucking well-intentioned Dragonborn Sorcerer from the badlands who was kidnapped by cultists

>Adventurous Half-Orc paladin from a now impoverished noble family who is uncomfortable about old people (they smell like death)

I'm okay with this.

>CONCEITED DWARF BARD FROM A SLAVE OWNING CITY WHO HAD THEIR LOST LEGS REPLACED WITH ENCHANTED WOOD

>MISERABLE GNOME DRUID FROM THE NOW DRY SWAMP WHO ALWAYS REFERS TO INANIMATE OBJECTS AS 'SHE'

Not too bad I guess. I'd play it for a one-shot

...

>cold Dragonborn Sorcerer from a notorious dungeon who is tracking down the treasure their father died trying to find

holy shit this thing just nailed my current character right off the bat, right down to the element choice. i am spook

MELODRAMATIC HALF-ORC WIZARD FROM AN ANCIENT MONASTERY WHO ONLY HAS TWO MORE YEARS BEFORE A DEMON COMES BACK TO CLAIM THEIR SOUL

Yeah...

Wait...
>AGREEABLE GNOME WARLOCK FROM A FLOATING CITY WHO HAS ANGER PROBLEMS
>AGREEABLE ANGER PROBLEMS

He causes a plauge of angry mobs everywhere he goes.

What?
That's fucking amazing, demi-god trying to find out which full god is his dad?!

>quick-tempered Dragonborn Warlock from the high-plains desert who lost their shadow in a bet

This is awesome.

>Assault Swordmage

this site seems to hate humans. took 50 tries to get human as my race

>GENEROUS HALFLING ROGUE FROM AN ISLAND LONG THOUGHT TO BE UNINHABITED WHO HAS A PRETTY SELECTIVE MEMORY
>I'm a kindly man
>you rob everyone we meet
>ah, but I also cook them a good meal and share my potcheen with them
>and only take nonessentials

>From a gnome run orphanage
>written out of the family will.

it's magic, i ain't gotta explain shit.

>whothefuckismydndcharacter.com/

Why are you people still trying to get me to turn off noscript?

CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, I'M GOING TO BE A FUCKING

TALENTED GNOME BARD FROM THE CITY POST OFFICE WHO PARTIES HARD, WAY TOO HARD.

I only have the question of why a person would FAKE leprosy. But also
>Gentle
>Dwarf
>Barbarian

Being gentle does not seem to be in a dwarf barbarian's nature if you ask me.

>FLAMBOYANT HUMAN BARD FROM THE RUINED SEA WHO HAS A BURNING HATRED FOR PIRATES
I got raped by pirates, didn't I?

I guess you could say they really went for that booty eh?

That's probably about every third event in your backstory

METHODICAL ELF ROGUE FROM THE PARLIAMENT OF BEGGARS WHO IS AFRAID THE REST OF THE PARTY WILL KILL THEM IF THEY TRY TO LEAVE
They're all clearly after my vote, but they won't have it, no they won't.

>CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, I'M GOING TO BE A FUCKING

>RESOURCEFUL DRAGONBORN BARD FROM FROM A CITY DEEP UNDER THE MOUNTAINS WHO IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY TONE-DEAF

A Dragonborn who grew up with dwarves and became a bard, despite the fact that he is absolutely and unquestionably terrible at it, who pretty much gets through the day by enraging taverns by his terrible singing and filching enough food and water to get by in the ensuing chaos?

I'll take it.

>I'M GOING TO ROLL THE STATS FOR A FUCKING

>LAZY DRAGONBORN PALADIN FROM THE GUARD'S ACADEMY WHO ALWAYS WANTED TO BE AN ARTIST

I... I'm okay with this.

>I'M GOING TO ROLL THE STATS FOR A FUCKING
>FRIENDLY DRAGONBORN DRUID FROM THE WORST BROTHEL IN TOWN WHO IS TRYING TO DODGE THE DRAFT
...fuck, I'd play it.

>talented Dragonborn Warlock from an island long thought to be uninhabited who likes to settle arguments with headbutting contests
I want to play this now.
Why do you think they're in an orphanage?

>party member is decapitated
>"Guess he didn't... make the cut!"

>issue: his daddy is a dragon
>adoptive, at least. Still messes with him.

>ghoat mom: Son it is your 21st birthday, it is time for you to go out, and protect the world from the undead
>Ghost dad: "we want you to have this book, to finish your cleric training"
>Book received "Tome of uncorporal undead: exorcising ghosts, wraiths, and wisps"
>Cleric realizes he was raised by the undead.
>Swims out of the wet desert, understanding that not all undead are evil
Or
>Vows to become a paladin, to bring justice to the mistreated ghosts
>Goes adventuring to get ghosts reclassified as a sentient non undead race.
>Slips in the wet desert, falls.

>slips in the wet desert, falls
Fuck.

>I'M GOING TO ROLL THE STATS FOR A FUCKING
>SUSPICIOUS HALFLING BARD FROM A RECENTLY ERUPTED VOLCANO VILLAGE WHO WAS BROUGHT UP TO BE A LIBRARIAN

Is that mound to be of churning of the earths red hot rage? Get the fuck away from me and my leather bound page~

>PROUD TIEFLING WIZARD FROM THE QUALITY CONTROL FOR POTION BREWING ASSOCIATION WHO IS HAUNTED BY THE GHOSTS OF THEIR FOREFATHERS
I'd play the shit out of this

>SHORT-TEMPERED DWARF DRUID FROM A SUNKEN CITY WHO DRUNKENLY SWORE A BLOOD OATH AND FORGOT WHAT FOR

Yeah okay. Just go out of my way to try to do literally everything to make sure I don't screw up the oath. Got a lot of the ones that above anons got before this one though.

>CUNNING HUMAN SORCERER FROM A SUNKEN CITY WHO IS DOWNRIGHT RACIST TOWARDS LIVING SKELETONS

damn spooky skeletons

>bossy Gnome Bard from a bustling underground kingdom who has taken a vow of silence

YOU THINK YOUR CHARACTER IS COOL? MY CHARACTER IS A FUCKING

FRIENDLY HALF-ELF DRUID FROM A FROZEN WASTE WHO IS SECRETLY A RECOVERING CANNIBAL.

>hot-headed Gnome Monk from the smallest mountain in the world who isn't technically alive anymore

>I'm going to roll the stats for a fucking
>Driven Elf Druid from a tropical paradise who has taken a vow of silence

STR 18
DEX 10
CON 17
INT 13
WIS 14
CHA 15

Rolled 4d6 drop lowest down the line. I think I'm basically Elvish Maui. I would play the shit out of this.
>didn't apply elvish racial mods yet

>Check this shit out, I'm going to be a fucking
>Intolerant Elf Monk from the city watch who insists they are the reincarnation of a legendary warrior

14/88 gas the gnomes race war now!

>I'M GOING TO ROLL

>DWARF BARBARIAN FROM THE TAX COLLECTOR'S GUILD WITH ANGER ISSUES AND ALWAYS PLAYS BY THE RULES

literally my character already

>YOU THINK YOUR CHARACTER IS COOL? MY CHARACTER IS A FUCKING

>FRANK TIEFLING RANGER FROM A CAVERN WITHOUT ECHOES WHO HAS HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH EVERYONE'S CRAP

>Bossy Halfling Paladin from the worst brothel in town who is getting too old for all this.

>tfw halfling pala-pimp

I am so playing this.

>He constantly disrupts conversations to consult his best friend.

>YOU THINK YOUR CHARACTER IS COOL? MY CHARACTER IS A FUCKING

>GLOOMY HALFLING BARD FROM AN ISOLATED MONASTERY WHO HATES MUSIC

There are fucking stories here.