Friends have never played D&D before, ask me to DM

I could believe that if this wasn't literally the first two rooms of the campaign. There were no "other aspects of the game" yet.

It's what I'm probably going to do next time. As much as I like these guys, I've basically made it clear that if they don't want to work together, we're not going to play D&D anymore.

Yeah, in hindsight it was a mistake. but they had said that they wanted a real campaign, so I had decided to give that to them. The improvised stuff was what I had been doing previously, but I stopped because it was boring as fuck for me.

>>I know exactly what my friends want but I willingly decide to spend hours writing something that they don't, and get mad when they act exactly how I expect them to act

Eh, the issue is that they say that they want one thing, but then they actually do something else. Also, when I actually let them have what they try to play, they don't like it.

Basically, they want to kill the other PCs, but they don't want their character to be at risk. If their character dies as a result of PvP, they whine and cry about it.

Basically, they want to play a single player video game where everyone else is an NPC, but they never want to be the NPC.

Underrated post

Interesting, I'll have to give this a read through. I had been running Paranoia with them, because it basically caters to their exact play style (fuck up all the other players for arbitrary reasons), but they said they don't like it because death doesn't feel like it has consequences.

((Ignoring the fact that they don't like the consequences of death when it happens to them, just when it happens to the other players))

He might be talking about weed user, you don't know

>weed smoke is magical smoke that doesn't cause cancer

in b4 muh vaporizers

Although you do have a point technically, you can't possibly puff enough weed to be legitimately worried about lung cancer.

c Only spend ½ an hour to an hour planning a session.
Even the first session.

More than that, and you're wasting detail.

well
But vaporizers.

Dude, use published modules. Why the fuck would you not.

I bet your group would love Out of the Abyss for 5e, just force them to have a backup character at all times.

That reeaaalllly depends on what your dealer is cutting it with. People will cut shit in that is ludicrously carcinogenic when inhaled after burning for different effects and because they're fucking stupid.