How do I break the news to my players that I'm banning lesbian PCs from my table?

I've only seen lesbian PCs from creepy anime-loving neckbeards myself.

Oh god now I'm remembering the guy who always played bitchy lesbians with huge tits and who threw a bitchfit if he thought another PC was getting a benefit he wouldn't even if the benefit was completely unsuitable for his character.

Can I still play my raging faggot choir-boy healer?

Sing it to the tune of Star Spangled Banner so they don't know how to feel and get literally torn apart by their conflicting emotions.

"Hey guys, time to roll up new PC's. Some ground rules, no min-maxing, keep to the core races, try to come up with a reason you're in the tavern, no lesbians, and we wont be useing the supplements. if you have any questions, ask them now"

Probably something like that.

Yeah. That reminds me of the time the GM started rubbing one out at the the table, and no one wanted to do or say anything and just hope it ended soon because she was 13 and no one wanted to get roped in.

I've seen this type of pasta. It's too thin to be effective, and it doesn't have the irony of the "met famous person at the grocery store and he was a dick" pasta.

>it's a reasonable GM who isn't a white-knighting faggot that gets bothered by someone having a rule against female PCs with more than 14 strength, despite never needing to announce the rule because no female PC was ever built with more than 14 STR

You're too good for this board.

The bug with no name

Include a common thing in the setting:
Gay sex summons demons (albeit lesser ones like imps) that try to devour the gay couples.
Make it common knowledge etc. so it stays subtle enough.

You know this is just going to have the party attempt to make an infinite demon summoning room powered by gay sex, right?

>meanwhile the Warlock is out exploiting this to build an army of followers

You do it after making sure they have eaten too much to move fast and catch you.

Honestly why not just ban erp?

That way a chraracter sexual orientation doesn't afect the game too much.

I am temped to ust play an asexual chraracter just to screw up charisma players.

That doesn't mean the chraracter doesn't have gender, is just not really interested in sex.

Tell them to stop being weird kissless virgins and to stop making fetish characters

Say that you are banning lesbian characters until your players show you they can do it right.

It will never happen, so you are golden

By talking and explaining why, like human beings do? Or you can try to deal with it using passive-agressive tricks and make simple "no gays pls" into drama clusterfuck.

Wait, are you banning lesbian PC's, or lesbian players? There's a big difference. I'm a lesbian IRL but I'm not sure if I've ever played a lesbian character. It's more fun to branch outside of reality, y'know?

Regardless, if you're getting creepy dudes being creepy then I think your ban is reasonable. But if you have actual lesbians in your group who are just trying to play characters like them, you might come off as mean or prejudiced. I'm not sure exactly what your situation is, so I can't say.

> How do I break the news to my players that I'm banning lesbian PCs from my table?
By doing a musical dance routine.
youtube.com/watch?v=L9pQUKV9MuM
Here, let me supply the lyrics for you.

"There's a place you're always welcome,
If you're lesbian PC.
You can always get there,
Cause it's absolutely free.

Get out!
No need to cry or shout!
Just pack up all your stuff,
And leave my house in huff!
Oh yeah!

Get out!
I'm that GM, there's no doubt!
Others players have all left,
Cause I'm silly piece of shit!
Amen.

Seeing as all others are already gone,
Why don't you just join them, till I'm all alone?
(Yeah, yeah)
I'm that GM
(Yeah, yeah)
I'm that GM

I'm that GM!"

>implying this is a bad thing

I don't really get why though. Bisexuals, I could understand - for them that just becomes an excuse to try and sex everything. But lesbians?

And this is the best way to go about it, by far. No need to hem and haw about it, since that just causes argument.

What's a lesbian?

At my table, we really don't really ever run off to the brothels or try and seduce barmaids. It makes everyone at the table aside from me really uncomfortable, and it irritates me a little because it feels like you're just trying to have your character lose their virginity like you wish you could.

I think everyone at the table kind of understands that their character's sexuality is completely irrelevant to what's going on 99% of the time and why we're playing the game in the first place. We want to kill dragons and find sick loot, and trips to the brothel get in the way of that.

Where else are they going to encounter lesbians? It's not like they actually exist. It's just a bunch of homely women who want a relationship without the sex or effort that goes into sex appeal.

What if they're married (and faithful)?

Currently playing a female fighter married to a female herbalist. It doesn't get brought up much, but when it does, it's either cute and heartwarming (character receives a package full of herbs and love letters) or good comic relief (character being hit on by unsuspecting guys).

>(and faithful)
Into the trash it goes.

Start with "I am a whiny child." Then, transition into a temper tantrum where you throw all your books on the ground and stop playing tabletops forever.

Bonus: if you can weave a: "Stop having fun" in there somewhere.

>intentional magical realm
Gross. Tell me first if you're going to be running an ERP game.

I think it's implied that lesbian characters are often men playing a female character, which is another meme-tier red flag.
More importantly:
>man playing a female character
>but not willing to get into the base mindset of a woman, i.e. interest in the dick, as opposed to the disinterest in the dick that men have, because the player is unwilling to portray that.
>in other words, PCs with the same sexual interests as the player because he's unwilling to actually act the character.

On the other hand, playing a woman who swoons into the arms of big, hunky, hairy men can get you a few strange looks from the other players.

Hey man, you're the one who wanted to play a woman.

Just tell them, stop making lesbian PCs, I find it creepy, weird and sinister. If you keep trying to do this I will kick you from the game.

I've quit two games after finding out the GM encouraged concepts like the young-looking lesbian characters.

>sinister

Now I'm picturing a Bond villain twirling a handlebar mustache and cackling as he drafts up a lvl. 5 Fighter.

Maybe confront yourself with the fact that a character's sexuality isn't why the game is shitty, it's because you've tacitly endorsed shit behavior and roleplay by previous inaction by not punishing bad behavior when it happens and not rewarding good behavior when it happens.

Moderation of a game's tone and player behavior isn't fucking hard. Set clear boundaries for what isn't allowed, what is, and what's desired. Then offer minor to major rewards and punishments based on the scale, ranging from cutting off scenes, dice penalties/rewards, goodfeelz rewards (NPCs respond positively), to XP right there and then.