How good is Christian mythology as basis/inspiration for dark fantasy?

How good is Christian mythology as basis/inspiration for dark fantasy?

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Depends. Actual, historical Christianity is not so great for it. Pre-US Civil War Revivalism and its modern "fundamentalist" offshoots are pretty good for it, though.

What exactly do you understand as "christian mythology"? There are certainly some really good saint stories that fit the bill.

Otherwise id recommend looking into OT stuff, especially from the conquest of the land up to the destruction of Jerusalem through the Babyloneans (begins with some book of Moses, cant be arsed to look it up right now).

Early Judaism/Canaanite/apocryphal stuff would work better.

Druidic, Slavic, or Norse would work better IMO.

Old Testament - good
New Testament - mediocre
Apocrypha - excellent

i wouldnt even give it the mediocre if were talking about dark fantasy. Right, people thought the world would come to an end soon, but otherwise its pretty much a stable and functioning world that it is set in, even the Romans get depicted very positive as long as we leave out apocalypse.

turns out i could be arsed and its not Mose but Josua (right after the 5th of Mose) where it begins. th bloody stuff ends mostly with Chronicles 2, but you can turn to prophets for flavour (for example Amos), as well as some of the lesser known Psalms and Leviticus.

Amazingly if you're as strict on what constitutes a sin as people used to be.

Really enforce the concept that people who seem to be living harmlessly are actually major sinners and that really bad shit is coming as a consequence.

Read this and tell me it's not metal as fuck

rapturechrist.com/timeline.htm

Or take the Ecclesiastes route and have people being horrible people because this life is the only one they have that means anything because we all go to the same place when we die.

Then that's a perfect opportunity to shift the point of punishment to their time on earth

Bretty gud.
Demons
Saints
Ludicrous amounts of random stuff counted as a sin
Lots and lots of symbols containing innate power
Angels
Subtle magic, no super neon light, just some chalk lines and random icky stuff
The power of names, especially to supernatural beings
anti-evil properties of metal

Make a dark ages setting based on the very early middle ages and migration period. Or Renaissance Germany. Done.

You'll have:
>Hedge magic using body fluids, parts of corpses, religious incantations and so on that may or may not have been corrupted into black magic - and those things are used by anyone from mercenaries to popes to give themselves and edge
>Roving bands of barbarians fucking shit up
>Witches everywhere
>Plagues
>Weak central authority, so robbers and bandits rule the countryside

Pretty easy. Or how about a game of witch hunting in the early American colonies?

>Amazingly if you're as strict on what constitutes a sin as people used to be.
Christianity actually was a lot more liberal than internet zealots would have you believe. For starters, if you sin, you do penance and everything is alright.

Remove the Trinity so you only have a cult of saints. Then it should be fine

Define dark fantasy.

But only if you actually believe so.

The actual mythological part of it is pretty metal.

Angels and other entities get some pretty lovecratian descriptions.

>But only if you actually believe so.
Well, if you don't believe, you don't have a problem with sinning, anyways.

don't think I'd be comfortable with all the peadophilia

I'd love a game with a dark tone and a pseudocatholic mythology (as opposed to Thoth, Odin, and Mythras all chilling out in the same setting).

A powerful being handed down a complex set of orders and rituals that purify people from the sins of the world and allow them to become civilized. Not even the bishops and cardinals know how they work, but the results are self evident.

Pagans would be these barely human critters that worship demonic obscenities, the details of which are mostly irrelevant. Smashing their idols and stealing their children to convert them to the proper way of life is among the most virtuous of actions.

Basically I'd want the kind of setting that would make my wiccan/neopagan friends piss themselves with rage

Let me just take a guess at what stages of this thread we've already burned through.

1. Yeah Christianity is GREAT for horror, angels are all eldritch horrors in the original true version of the Bible that I've never actually read!

2. Not it wouldn't be good because historical Christianity was actually really nice, those bad things that happened didn't happen ALL the time, Christianity was actually very liberal except when it wasn't!

3. DEUS VULT fuck pagans and liberals.

4. Yes pedophilia is pretty dark.

5. 'The dark ages'.

Could you be more specific?
Christian myths about magic?
Or a darker version of the religion itself?
Iirc, romans were a bit weirded out by the whole "consuming human flesh" thing.

20 posts in it hasn't burned through a whole lot.

Amazing.

Norse mythology is boring in comparison. Fuck you Varg.

Dark Fantasy? Sure.
I mean, take a look at the bible. Now imagine a world where the things that happen in it are 100% observably true. There are evil spirits everywhere, the hosts of heaven were divided over what to do with humanity, with the losers who are now roaming the Earth being the angels who believed humans were too corrupt and impure to be worthy of Heaven, and are thus seeking to ensure that none of us filthy humans pollute Heaven's purity; Giants and half-breed angels roam the Earth...
A world is a shitty place of evil and corruption, and the only salvation is through the celibacy of the Church. Either way, your life probably sucks.

I think the idea of Christian magic being something you don't actually 'do' but rather have done through you, so as to say the laying on of hands for healing is God healing others through your hands. Whereas in demonic magic the calling forth of the dead to communicate fills you up with demons.

How about a Christian world where it is common knowledge that God turned his back on humanity one day, seeing them as beyond redemption and basically everyone goes to Hell upon death.

You have pockets of civilization that follow the Bible to the letter, in hopes that God will notice and grant them access to Heaven.

Then you have those who look to the Devil for help. Basically they're hoping to appease him in hopes of evading punishment in the afterlife. Whether or not they're successful is anyone's guess but people are scared and desperate. These people may or may not be evil but definitely a shade of gray as they're trying to carry out his will. Needless to say, they don't get along with the Pro-God types.

Furthermore you have other people trying to come into some form of contact with deities of other religions, real or imagined, to get into their versions of a Heaven. This leads to cults, fake messiahs, etc., some more dubious and shady than others.

.... then you have those who give zero fucks and just rape, murder, and pillage because why the fuck not?

Underrated post

Well, just remember that everyone living before 0-33A.D Went to hell when they died bar few biblical exceptions.

Luther was a based man but the fact that he wanted to cut this part out always makes me mad as a Lutheran

then i remember that he is rotating in his grave anyways and feel sorry for him

inter-christian disputes are a great background for a dark fantasy setting by the way. basically no time period without it

You can also remember that jews don't believe in hell.

And their version of 'hell' was (to my understanding) just a general underworld, not for and torment. Hanging around with good himself was something special.

Then Jesus went down and got the goodies out.

Reminder that Hell is a late addition to the Abrahamic religion, along with bodily resurrection, the soul departing the body in death and the resurrection of Christ.

Not possible. The Bible is pretty clear that it doesn't matter how good of a person you are/were, if you don't accept Christ's sacrifice then you are damned.

there are specific ways around that. if you have never in your life heard the true meaning of Christs message (either because he wasnt born at that time, you lived secluded from the message or it was always presented to you in a negative/wrong way), you can also be saved. This is represented by Christ saving Adam and some others from hell in some half-canonical story, but even the catholic church has published statements that a "noble savage" would also be saved.

That's not the official position of the Church, or most Protestant sects. And if it were, that would mean that good deeds alone can get into heaven, not reliance on Christ, meaning that salvation is unnecessary and His sacrifice was pointless. And if that's the case then there's no point in having the Church or the religion at all.

>And if that's the case then there's no point in having the Church or the religion at all.
thats exactly what the "if you never heard it" part meant to prevent.

>That's not the official position of the Church
it is. at least thats what i learned in the semester of theology i had to endure for my degree

>Protestant sects
thats something entirely different, but yeah, we have sola fide and solus Christus, something which the catholics and orthodox do not have, and they are by far the majority

found it. Straight from Vatican II, so a little late but still. also found a ton of strange american sects making up their own way and im pretty sure that european Lutheranism is cucked to a degree they straight out made some shit up how solus Christus doesnt apply in that case.

catholic.com/quickquestions/is-it-possible-to-be-saved-without-knowing-anything-about-the-bible-or-jesus

Very, very good. Every good religion can be used excellently. Hinduism is wildly unexploited.

It's the best

Wolfe shills GET OFF MY BOARD

REEEEEEEEEEEEE

Book of The New Sun was alright. You could do a campaign following a similar sort of tone. Everything is viewed through a serious and almost reverent lens, various "wonders" and "oddities" are recognizable to the audience but never fully explained or grasped by the characters, themes around being irreparably flawed but still being encouraged to not give up hope for growth, personal or otherwise.

In particular, the "Evil" empire is ruled by someone who is aware of its injustices without condoning them, but accepts that it's the most good humans can do on their own.

Oh, and riddles and secrets must be peppered all over the setting for the players to chase after, if they so choose.

Goddammit. I got beaten to the punch.

assdamaged Ascian detected

Shouldn't your posts be phrased as proverbs expressing praise for the Group of 17?

I have never seen this, thank you for correcting my ignorance. Most of America is Protestant, so that would explain why this is common knowledge.

Said a word, meant the other word, derp

Christianity is like 40k. Gnosticism is like based 30k.

>Giants and half-breed angels roam the Earth...

Wait, what?

Genesis 6:4 - "There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown"

Has also been translated as "The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men, and they bore children to them. Those were the mighty men who were of old, men of renown."

So yeah, the Nephilim- angels, basically -had half-breed babies with human women back in the day.

As for Giants, look at Goliath, and several other characters are referenced as having the blood of giants or being of a tribe of giants.

>As for Giants, look at Goliath, and several other characters are referenced as having the blood of giants or being of a tribe of giants.
There's also Nimrod, King of Babel (of the infamous Babel Tower). By apocrypha his hubris was not just about the Tower, he also stole power of Nephilim and grew himself into proportions of a giant.

hit me up with some saints

nephilim, bro

I'm not sure of this. Even Jesus himself often said that he did not do anything, but that the faith of person cured them/banished demon/allowed to walk on water.
Also Jesus said that man could move mountains by using faith.
So many miracles are made by user not by God himself.

In other places there are miracles explicitly done by God (old testament if I remember correctly)
And there are demons.


So magic based on Christianity would consist of:
1) Divine/arcane magic wielded by man of unbreakable spirit and faith, done without help.
2)Occasional miracles performed by God to help his chosen, which would be rare.
3)Magic gained by using demonic pacts and so one called witchcraft. Easy way to power and easy way to get killed.


On the other side I would like to see dark setting where church is not only uncorrupted by is legitimate force of good, and inquisition is a holy order of humanitarian wandering judges that tries their best to discern the truth and bring the true sinner to the light.
Which is close to historical truth when we compare inquisitorial trial to such great things as Constitutio Criminalis Carolina or other secular justice of era.

What are the best sources for Christian mythologies?

any favorites/examples?

In the "anime" the whole "evil Vatican" thing as well as the abudence of prostitutes feels needlessly edgy. Is this just the result of bad direction? Is the manga's execution better, or is it equally edgy after the Golden Age arc?

The Bible

It's always edgy, but I wouldn't read Berserk for that

>It's always edgy
Well, I guess. But as a filthy secondary I'd say that the original 90s anime is unironically dark and edgy, whereas this adaption feels "edgy" with quotation marks. I don't know whether that's the fault of the new anime's incompetence or not.The same story can be told entirely differently by two directors, though none of them can deviate too far from the source material.

>with the losers who are now roaming the Earth being the angels who believed humans were too corrupt and impure to be worthy of Heaven
tell me more

You don't know? That's essentially the story of Lucifer's fall from grace; the whole civil war he started was because he believed humans were an abomination, and didn't want them to taint Heaven and his Creator with their vileness.

That's why Satan and all the fallen angels are supposed to constantly be trying to sabotage people in particular, and humanity in general; to their mind, they're protecting Heaven and Yahweh from the vile pestilence of Humanity by making sure as many of us as possible are too covered in sin to be accepted into Heaven.

Thing is, without Jesus, he's probably have succeeded; one of the things Jesus had to do during the three days he was dead was head down to the land of the dead and collect everybody who'd qualified for Heaven in the times prior, who'd not qualified because of the fact that every human has sin of some sort, and sin cannot be accepted into heaven. All those priests and kings and heroes from the Old Testament, like David and Elijah and Moses? They all had to go wait in the land of the dead for a few hundred years until Jesus came to wash away their sin, because in the end their deeds alone simply weren't good enough.

...I admit, Lucifer had a really good point about us.

Why has no-one posted this yet?

Saint Denis (preached through a severed head)
Saint Moses the black (Samuel Jackson from pulp fiction)
Saint Joan D'arc / Saint Martin (soldiers)
Saint Nikolas (Saint of thrives)
Virgin Maria Aultrix (saint of assassins, probably misspelled her name)

The flaming wheel of eyes see,s like a good start.

Witch hunting in the early american colonies is some super tame shit compared to the hunts that happened in Germany and southern France. Entire villages would literally disappear in the course of two weeks during the German witch craze

Yup

The fuck? That has to be some of the most gross and unjustified misinterpretation of the fucking bible I've ever seen. For fuck sake kids: don't try to push these kinds of pathetic pseudointerpretations of texts you don't understand FUCK ALL about on others.

>Joan D'arc
Jeanne d'Arc or Joan of Arc, bruh.
Also, since we're discussing dark fantasy
scottmanning.com/content/joan-of-arc-military-successes-and-failures/
>At the Siege of Jargeau, 700 English troops defended the town for two days. After the first night of fighting, Joan demanded the town’s capitulation or “you will be massacred.”24 The English refused and Joan’s cannons bombarded the town. Eventually, the French assaulted the walls and killed as many as 1,100 people, which means the dead included English troops and French civilians.25 This was not the only incident of massacres that Joan left in her trail and word of these events surely preceded her throughout France. Joan and her banner inspired her troops and struck fear in her enemies, but the massacres certainly aided her in the thirty-plus bloodless capitulations.
In other words: 30+ cities and villages surrendered to Jeanne without a fight, because she killed anyone who didn't surrender. How's that for dark fantasy?

>Saint Denis (preached through a severed head)
Kek. He was decapitated in Montmartre, decided it was a shitty place to die, picked up his head, started preaching the gospel until he reached what is now St. Denis, and died there. Now both districts are immigrant ridden shitholes. Good job honoring the memory of your national saint, France. Good fucking job

>St. Nicholas
Nothing grimdark about him, bruh. He was associated with the poor becuase he threw a bag of gold through some poor dude's window who was about to sell his three daughters for money. Rumor has it the bag landed on his foot, hence why on St. Nicholas day children in the Benelux and Northern France get treats in their shoes.

>Albigensian crusade
>Witch hunt
Pick one and only one.

You know there's no one single interpretation of biblical text, right?

>muh living document
>implying two mutually contradictory interpretations can be equally valid
>implying the authors didn't have a very specific intention when writing down these texts, which we can quite accurately divine through study of the social/historical context

>You know there's no one single interpretation of biblical text, right?
There is a difference between various possible reasonable interpretation, and FLAT OUT PULLING SHIT OUT OF YOUR FUCKING ASS. Ever heard of the concept of textual evidence or support?
Bible is not a single text to begin with, it's a complex collection of thousands of different texts of varying age, relevance etc... but in NO FUCKING VERSION, and under NO FUCKING CIRCUMSTANCES can be your "interpretation" be considered valid as it contains claims that simply have no rooting or evidence for in the text itself. Any of the texts, even if we take consideration all of the classical apocrypha.

Doesn't the novel Paradise Lost touch on Lucifer's rebellion and a lot of the other events that took place after it? Is that considered unofficially canonical or just protestant fan-fiction of the bible?

It's completely uncanonical. It is based on the book of Ezekiel and his description of Satan's fall (the word "Lucifer" even being associated with Satan is actually a translation error that only emerged with Vulgata much, much later on) mixed together with a hefty dose of Promethean mythos and a lot of romanticism. It it's time, it got a lot of flack for actually twisting the religious cannon.

Because it's a screenshot of someone describing an Evil Sue.

St Olga

Because her life reads like a supervillain origin story.

I still don't understand why she's considered a canonical saint, meaning that the Russian Orthodox Church still thinks she's an example worth emulating.

>loyal waifu of vengeance
>not worth emulating

Absolutely. The Book of Job and Berserk actually have the same interpretations about human life: That the good and evil a person does on earth and the good or evil done to them don't have anything to do with each other. God may have created the universe and God may have a plan, but justice is something humans invented. Go through the entire world, grind it down through the world's greatest grinder and sift through it with the world's finest sieve and find me even one iota, one single particle of justice. If you really think God's acts are just or that any human gets anything close to what they deserve, or that there is such a thing as deserving, clearly you know something God does not. The acts of God are simply the acts of God, beyond justice or evil. To apply human terms to the ineffable is to misunderstand the order of the world and to mistake your place in existence.

It was fucked up as Berserk is wont to be, but I'm not sure I would call it "edgy". That was just how things were and the manga didn't spend a whole lot of time lingering on any one fucked up thing.

bullshit

it was posted once in the thread and ill happily post it again: the Jews had no concept of hell or the devil as such, it was added much, much later to Abrahamic religions when apocalyptics gained traction. Even Christianity got along without it at the beginning, no need for a devil when its god himself punishing and tormenting you.

Lucifer in traditional Jewish belief is part of the court of the heavens, as the jews up to the destruction of the temple by the romans still held a lot of polytheistic remains in their religion, one being that God had a "court of angels" with Lucifer taking the role of a prosecuting attorney testing the willpower and belief of men. He is only mentioned in such a role in the older texts of the bible like the book of Hiob; even when jesus meets him in the desert, its not entirely clear if he is to be understood as the devil or as a divine test.

Lucifer only really becomes an edgelord in the apocrypha

no problemo, honestly i wouldnt have believed it until i heard it because the common assumption is that catholicism takes deeds AND faith.

What? Neither of those works support that view.

Berserk's "God" is not above morality because it is ultimately just a personification born of humanity's desire for a scapegoat. It's motives and methods aren't ineffable either, it's trying to trap humanity in a vicious cycle of hopelessness in order to sustain its own existence.

The book of Job takes pretty much the exact opposite view from what you said. Job was tested and remained steadfast in his faith so he was rewarded with more than what he originally had.

That wasn't Lucifer. Lucifer as Chiristianity knows him doesn't appear anywhere in Judaism. What you're thinking of is Satan or ha-Satan which is an old Hebrew word that means "the adversary". In Judaism Satan's job was to test the faith and resolve of humans, to temper and strengthen the faith of man by offering him temptation to sin. He is firmly on God's and humanity's side.

Saint anthony, saint of lost things
Great for quests

People sometimes ask "Can God make a boulder so big even He cannot lift it?"

The bible is full of metaphors, so I shall say that the boulder can be considered a metaphor. In the book of Job, Satan told God that if He took everything away from Job, then Job would lose faith in Him. God commanded Satan to do so, but despite all the pain and suffering that was wrought, Job's faith remained stalwart, and he was eventually given everything back.

Everyone knows this story. However, it was Satan that planted the seed of doubt into God, and as God proved to Satan otherwise, it could be said that He was tempted by Satan. Though not stated, it can be argued that Satan was created by God to test mankind. As God, all-knowing and all-powerful, succumbed to temptation to prove Satan wrong, it can be said that God can create a boulder so big even He cannot lift it.

God succumbed to Satan's temptation, and the sin of pride.

woopsie. got that mixed up, youre right.

No mention of Lucifer as fallen angel whatsoever in the bible outside of the apocrypha.

That implies that God doubted Job's faith in him and didn't take the bet just to prove a point to Satan, or to Job, or to the future readers of the story. God is omniscient, why would he be unsure of Job's resolve?

It's pretty awesome if you ACTUALLY FUCKING FIND ANY, rather than the copy-of-copy inbred garbage that results from writers copying each other even worse than the Tolkien clones.

>No mention of Lucifer as fallen angel whatsoever in the bible outside of the apocrypha.
Have you people not read fucking Ezekiel somehow? Also Isaiah, where the whole "Lucifer" thing actually comes from...

>king of Babylon
>fallen angel

>king of Tyre
>fallen angel

Close, but it's not faith in oneself that heals or moves mountains, it is faith in Christ that, through Christ, acts are made real. That's the kind of faith He was talking about.

You might not be privy to this, but both of those stories are allegorical, and both of them contain references to an older story. There is a good reason why Isaiah calls the king of Babylon a "morning star".
The story of the fallen god/angel becoming the ruler of the underworld and the pantheons essential villain is actually much older than the Bible, and the fact that both Ezekiel and Isaiah recount it in the context of some kings is secondary.

someone have the original interpretation of angel? that shit is lovecraft tier

thats a theory and an interpretation and not a fact, and its considered a misinterpretation as far as im aware.

Just look at the fucking texts, its literally two sentences in a gigantic list of insults and curses to all sorts of foreign kings. hardly a way to describe your great adversary

Not all angels were burning wheels within wheels.

>How good is Christian mythology as basis/inspiration for dark fantasy?

Pretty good. You don't even have to get very far into the mythology. The regular Christian pitch to a new recruit getting his Bible isn't far off "Here's your sword, kid." set in a shadow war between mysterious forces over your head.

Earth is enemy territory. Christians are the resistance movement against "the prince of this world", who has a thousand years of experience on you. God has his finger on the Big Red Button to destroy the world when your position becomes too untenable, which He's told you it /will/ become eventually. Your mission is not to win: it's to survive as best you can and go out fighting with whatever rag-tag band of recruits you can muster.

Demons are real, cunning, and malicious. They would love for you to continue with the idea of Pan in a red pyjamas as your mental image of one. Demons are closer to Malicious Advice Mallard telling you to do things like take up smoking so that you can get more breaks at work. Demons will not be seen or noticed if they can avoid it. "testing" for demons is as stupid as trying to test for enemy spies, and for much the same reason: you're not dealing with a force of nature, you're dealing with an intelligent enemy who can notice your test and plan around it.

Angels are real, technically on your side, but still terrifying. The sight of an angel gives you the kind of feeling you get when you're eight and you're trying to get at the cookie jar and you knock all the fine china to the floor just as your mother walks into the kitchen: fear and horror as you sense the impending judgment for all your personal fuckups.

>thats a theory and an interpretation and not a fact, and its considered a misinterpretation as far as im aware.
You are aware wrong. For fuck sake, we KNOW THE OLDER VERSION of the fucking myth from Canaanite sources, we know the story of the morningstar from MULTIPLE different related cultures, and we know the Morning Star is a direct allusion - the is LITERALLY NO OTHER FUCKING INTERPRETATION to it.
Meanwhile Ezekiel flat out states the protagonist of his story was a Cherub, and sinless at the beggining, making it pretty fucking clear that he is not talking about the king of Tyre anymore. Unless Ezekiel somehow forgot about the motherfucking original sin still being a factor, his story jumps from king of Tyre into an older story, the same one we already know from the story of Attar.

>someone have the original interpretation of angel? that shit is lovecraft tier

It's not clear if all these *are* angels, but...

Isa 6:2 Above it stood the seraphs; each one had six wings; with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew.
And one cried to another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is Jehovah of Hosts; the whole earth full of His glory.
And the doorposts moved at the voice of the one who cried, and the house was filled with smoke.

Dan 10:4 And in the twenty-fourth day of the first month, as I was by the side of the great river, which is Tigris,
then I lifted up my eyes and looked, and behold, a certain man was clothed in linen, whose loins were girded with fine gold of Uphaz.
His body also was like the beryl, and his face looked like lightning. And his eyes were like lamps of fire, and his arms and his feet in color were like polished bronze, and the voice of his words like the sound of a multitude.

Mat 28:2 And behold, a great earthquake occurred! For coming down from Heaven, and coming up, an angel of the Lord rolled back the stone from the door and was sitting on it.
His countenance was like lightning, and his clothing white as snow.
And the keepers shook for fear of him and became like dead men.

Rev 4:6 And a sea of glass was in front of the throne, like crystal. And in the midst of the throne, and around the throne, were four living creatures, full of eyes in front and behind.
And the first living creature was like a lion, and the second living creature like a calf, and the third living creature had the face of a man, and the fourth living creature like a flying eagle.
And each one of the four living creatures had six wings about him, and within being full of eyes. And they had no rest day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God, the Almighty, who was and is and is to come.

Even if God is all-knowing, that may not include "Can see the future". Do remember that if he could see the future, then he would've known a lot of the fuckups of man well in advance.

DEUS VULT
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thanks user

Remember the face-melting Ark of the Covenant from Indiana Jones? There's several cases of hax like that scattered through Christian mythology, for better or worse. Tapping into God's power leaves ripples in the fabric of the world.

At one point the Israelites are supposed to be burying a dead guy, when they hear an invading army coming. So instead of burying the guy properly, they toss the corpse into an existing tomb - that of the prophet Elijah. The moment the corpse touches Elijah's bones, the guy comes back to life.

Another time, the Israelites fuck up and drag the Ark of the Covenant with them into battle, using it as a magic totem "if we bring this, surely God will come along". Nope; doesn't work that way. God smites them with their worst defeat in a while, and the Ark falls into the hands of the Philistines, who take it to the city of Ashdod.

The Philistines of Ashdod stick the fancy loot in their temple to another god. Next morning, the other god's statue has fallen down. The Philistines look at each other, prop it up again. Day after that, the other god's statue has fallen down again and its head is broken off. The Philistines, getting worried, prop it up again. Third time, the other god's statue is smashed to a stump, and for good measure, the people of Ashdod get struck with hemorrhoids.

The Philistines of Ashdod say "fuck this shit" and try to fob the Ark off to the city of Gath. The people of Gath are struck with hemorrhoids too. The people of Gath try to fob it off to Ekron, but at this point all the other Philistines are hearing about the hemorrhoids and have figured out that keeping the Ark is a really fucking bad idea.

They put the Ark on a cart, strap two cows to it, and off it goes, the cows without driver carrying the Ark back to Israel. There, some poor fool of an Israelite sees the cows turning, and figures he'd better grab the Ark before it slides off. BAM, DEAD. No touchy the Ark of the Covenant, you should know that.

(You)
>The moment the corpse touches Elijah's bones, the guy comes back to life.

You may be wondering why some enterprising PC-mentality character didn't think to turn Elijah's tomb into a repeated resurrection engine. Supposedly, this event happened because Elijah, even while dead, is the epitome of the grumpy old man going "GET OFF MY [s]LAWN[/s] TOMB YOU DAMN KIDS" and only brought the guy back to life to be able to kick him out. So trying to *repeatedly* trespass in Elijah's tomb for whatever reason would surely be a really, really bad idea.

A thing to consider:

If, in a setting according to Christian mythology, you sign a contract selling your soul to the Devil in exchange for earthly benefits, then you will go to Hell when you die.

But that's not because of anything the contract does, regardless of whether you signed it in blood or any such rot. It's because in having signed it, you have turned out to be *the sort of person* who goes to Hell. The contract itself is not binding in the least - you can repent out of it freely and even have a chance at keeping your benefits, though the repentance will probably seem more sincere if you're willing to give them up.

But note that the contract isn't binding on the Devil, either. If you sign a contract like that, the Devil is not obliged to deliver, and may even try to get you killed ASAP because now he knows that right *now* you're hell-bound, but you might repent later.

>ctrl+f "Spain"
>Zero results

Everyone here has now an Inquisitorial citation, see you in 3 months.