I was playing a D&D game recently and i was asked what does my charterer do when he's not researching lore or making...

I was playing a D&D game recently and i was asked what does my charterer do when he's not researching lore or making potions.

I honestly never thought about that, what do wizards and sorcerers do when they aren't doing that?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=YAZpjWZRNAc
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Gambling, drinking on a shady tavern, or guiding tourists.

Smoking weed and fucking succubii

mingling with the locals

Possibilities are endless dude, have some imagination

> Philosophical debate with peers
> Getting drunk alone
> Getting drunk as part of a rowdy private club
> Whittling (then possibly animating the carvings)
> Running a business
> Criming
> A chair on various councils and elected positions
> Being lecherous somewhere
> Attending church, or being pious in some manner
> Self-flagellating for his sins
> Working on inventing the steam engine or non-magical flight
> Playing sports or social games
> Training as a competitive eater (/anything equally bizarre)
> Partaking in other scholary fields, like archaeology
> Doing the whole Indiana Jones thing where he's a professor as his day job, adventurer as his passion/duty
> Doing charity for the local hospital (laundry would be something a wizard would be great at)
> Being a serial killer
> Turning into animals and doing whatever that entails
> Non-specific plotting
> Sexual self-discovery

>mingling with the locals
Because that worked out so well the last time.

>Sexual self discovery.

So a new way of using unseen servant?

protect the kingdom?

I don't think it counts as 'protect the kingdom' when you're the one that unleashed that plague, Orwyn.

Hey, Just because i want an empire of undead creatures that obey my every command doesn't' mean i'm the bad guy here.

It's not my fault i turn an entire village into litches.

New way?

Only way.

Calm down, no-one was casting moral judgements, we are wizards after all. I just don't think it counts as protector, it's more like tidying your lab after an experiment. I mean, who hasn't summoned shambling horrors from another plane into the merchant district before, am I right?

Well, Atleast it isn't as bad as the time that i created a pocket universe inside of a pocket.

Aha, that was a wild ride. I didn't expect to see you creating life of your own for another century or two!

>It's not my fault i turn an entire village into litches.
turning innocent npcs into fruit IS pure evil tho, bro; you need to go down for this.

Well, it can work. You don't have to be THAT GUY locked up in his tower all the time. Yeah sure, locals will start bothering you with shit once you get friendly, but that's just part of being, well, part of the community. You might even score a young apprentice or two.

this. or you might day of boredom and with no friends.

Well how else do you expect him to get human-sized lychees? There just isn't enough flesh on the normal ones!

Here are the things my wizard did during his life (from level 1 to level 7 in original d&d), aside from adventuring and making potion/spells :

>Drinking
>Gambling
>Whoring
>Investing in salt mines
>Dealing with aforementioned salt mines investments issues
>Evading tax collectors
>Trading salt across the continent
>Destroying other businesses through magic & cunning
>Trying to build a magical tower
>Trying to recover his lost men in the ruins of the failed tower.

He died by throwing a fireball at a giant, which he had first covered in gunpowder using the Ka-boom spell which he had wrote early in his adventure (it's like summon water, with gunpowder).

R.I.P Gardakan, never forget.

Jack off to druid porn.

Adventure, have fun, go around cursing or blessing people, make cards for MTG...

Class traitor.

Literally just going to the whorehouse next doors

So, do wizards set up their towers next to whorehouses so they can get there easily, or do brothels set up next to wizard towers for the income?

Pleb taste. Obviously, has rented out a room in the classiest brothel in the capital and placed a portal to his tower innit.

>implying he doesn't just wear a portal cockring with a portal gloryhole in the whorehouse with directions to fuck/suck every 10 minutes

Get pussy and drink beer.

I always imagined Ben Franklin probably seemed like a wizard to the average man in his times. So do what he did: indulge in the life you're able to provide for yourself. Eat well, drink better and woo women. Seems to me he was pretty happy doing that. All this 'building a new nation' business seemed like a great way to do them all.

>what do wizards and sorcerers do when they aren't doing that?
I'm pretty sure hobbies aren't class features, user.

They molest scribes/pages/apprentices and smoke weed

Mine trains strange insects and small animals for magically-infused micro-gladiatorial events where the objective is to incapacitate the opponent, not kill it.

He's got a feytouched rat that keeps disappearing from reality, a infernal puzzle-box-turtle-demon-thing, some kinda slime from beyond the stars that has more teeth than should be physically possible, and a REALLY angry walking catfish, who may or may not have character levels in Monk.

I keep them all in special terrariums / aquariums on the back of my Wizard Wagon.

They smoke pipe weed you retard.
>b-but muh character doesn't s-smoke p-pipe
then he is not a wizard
youtube.com/watch?v=YAZpjWZRNAc