Good news, everyone: Veeky Forums's fortnightly Storythread is up. Whether it's charming or not remains to be seen, but it's definitely strange
If you have Veeky Forums related stories to post, post them here, and hopefully some kind user will give you feedback (or at least acknowledge that someone did actually read it, which let's face it is what writefags really want).
If you don't have a story ready then I and other anons will be posting pictures throughout the thread for you to test your writing skills on. This is, more or less, a world-building and character-building exercise: two vital skills for playing roleplaying games. If you don't have any pics to post, you could try posting an idea for a setting or a character, and maybe someone will be willing to write a story using it. It's also an exercise in writing though, where writefags can try out their material and gain inspiration, so if you just want to talk about world-building save it for the world-building threads.
Remember that writefags love to have feedback on their work. Writing takes a long time, especially stories that go over several posts, and it can be really depressing when no one even seems to read it (and the writer won't know you read it unless you leave a comment).
And since writing takes a long time remember to keep the thread bumped. Pics are good, feedback is better.
last week's thread can still be found in the archive here if you have any comments or anything about the stories there And finally, don't forget to check out past stories on our wiki page: 1d4chan.org/wiki/Storythread
Oh, kickass, I thought I was going to have to wait another week for this.
I'm going to drop a link and run (got errands to run, but I'll be back) but I'm hoping to get more opinions on whether this feels like enough exposition to justify/explain what otherwise feels like bullshit magic in my hard sci-fi novel. I'm having some trickery with it because if I explain it too well, it stops being a scary threat but if I don't explain it well enough, it feels like a bad rip off of Akira at the end.
Unfortunately, it's chapter 22, so there's going to be some referential lines that won't make sense and I can't really hope to explain them, but these 10 pages are basically just learning who the big evil guy is (not the main antagonist though)
Please let me know what you think! I've got a few concerns mulling in my head, and I want to see if they come up without me leading you into the problems.
And remember everyone, The Bard Quarterly is coming out next week, you all should be excellent gentlemen and support them since they made a point of reaching out to us amateur writers and even picked three of us up for their first issue!
Nathaniel Williams
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Jace Sanders
>Oh, kickass, I thought I was going to have to wait another week for this. thread starts every other Friday. I know it feels kind of soon to be having another thread, but that's only because the last one was up for over a week.
I've been doing this since March 2015 and, apart from a short break at Christmas, I haven't missed a thread yet. No intention of breaking my streak.
Caleb Sanders
Youre much more reliable than I was when I was making these. I just thought that thread was shortlived not long lived
Asher Sanders
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Camden Davis
My eye is hurt, I must bandage it.
My eyes rotted away long ago.
My body is mortal, I must protect it with armor.
My body has rotten away long ago.
I have been shot by arrows, I will die soon.
Arrows will do nothing to a corpse.
Enemies are here, I must slay them.
Enemies are here, I must slay them.
I live to serve.
Levi Campbell
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Owen Baker
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Parker Reyes
Someone else might be able to help you out more than I can, and I confess I'm not the best at analyzing this type of prose, but for what it's worth I get what you were trying to do but I think you struggled in the execution.
A thesaurus would be useful here, and some more contrasting words between the "alive" and "undead" lines and complimenting words between lines the lines of the same type to tie them together more. I do really like the two penultimate lines, as they show the similarities of life and undeath for this nameless soldier. Maybe it could be expanded on, shown that the "living" lines happened in the battle where he was turned into the undead or something? Make it more significant to this character? I also like the final line and how it doesn't even get a companion, showing that he will always, even in undeath, live to serve a greater power, and it's the exact same in life as it was in undeath.
