I remember hearing once or twice that people sometimes group up and create tabletop groups in prison. Is that true? How would I find tabletop groups in prison?
I'll be going to prison at some point, I've never been before. I was hoping I could find a group to play with to help me keep my sanity, if I don't end up getting stabbed to death in the first day or two.
Anyone here ever gone to prison? Post experiences if you feel like it.
I've heard stories about people playing games in prisons, but they all tell the same thing - the authorities often forbid this shit for two reasons.
1) Dice could be used for gambling.
2) RPGs can create fantasies of escape
Personally, I think that the second reason is a complete retarded bullshit, if I had the guarantee that I'll be able to do nothing but work out, eat, sleep and play DnD with my homies every day, for a couple of years, I would try to rob the bank the next minute.
Well I guess I shouldn't keep my hopes up for that then.
Have you gone to prison? Any advice for a tiny guy who's sure he's probably going to get stabbed the first day he gets there?
Do you think you could bypass the first reason by getting a cloth sack with 20 rocks, coins, whatever, and label them 1-20?
Just pull one out at random.
>2) RPGs can create fantasies of escape
Never heard that before. I heard they ban RPGs because it has the possibility of encouraging or allowing the formation and activity of gangs, even in secret.
That's a pretty smart way to go about it, good idea.
Mad Billy Fuck-me-is-he-mad McGuire is not going to be playing tabletops with Nigel Forthwaight who fiddled his taxes.
It is probably going to be peopel who have done internet/computer crime, those connected or even involved in internet culture and dweeb-like activities.
I come from Russia, and our prison culture is very different. However, I think some of the advice still apply
1) Never gamble with anyone. If you're told that there's nothing at stakes, and it's a simple game for fun, politely refuse.
2) Don't stare at anyone. Always be polite. Never swear.
3) Don't be fucking greedy. If you have food, share it. If you have cigarettes, share them.
4) Don't snitch. Snitches get stitches.
5) I know that you're austistic, since you browse Veeky Forums, but you probably have some sort of social awareness. Spot the social outcasts. Never approach or talk to them.
6) Don't talk about sex. Ever.
7) Don't steal shit. Don't borrow shit. Don't beg for shit, that's for sure.
8) Prison rape happens sometimes, but most prison sex is voluntary. In Russia those who take it in the ass are complete social outcasts, who are branded in a special way, but they also enjoy certain privileges, because sex with them isn't free. I really don't think it's the case in America, but I'd advise you to not take it in the ass anyway.
Also, why are you so sure you're going to prison?
Nuh uh. Could be construed as a weapon.
Most prisons aren't like HBO portrays them.
Bits of paper in a shirt with the arm/neck holes tied up? It'd be hard to get them uniform but if you're desperate you could make it work.
Good advice, thanks.
Is there any way to make myself less of a target?
I'm a really tiny guy with no muscle who will look lost, confused and scared shitless once I'm there no mater how hard I try to hide it. I'm pretty sure other inmates will take advantage of that.
And I'm not 100% sure, but from how it sounds, things are just not in my favor at all despite the fact that I was lied to and didn't even know I was committing a crime.
What should I expect?
I'm guessing tabletop groups would be out of the picture though, at the very least.
Do you have any special skills? Can you draw, or possibly make tattoos? Can you make stuff out of papier mache? I advise you to pick up something useful, something that will make you valuable to your prison buddies.
How can you not know you're committing a felony?
What fuck up did you commit that guarantees time in prison?
>make myself less of a target
Everyone knows you have to kick someone's ass on your first day user
This
Maybe it's different where i live, but here vast majority of small crime sentences are probations
>I was lied to and didn't even know I was committing a crime.
Check fraud?
>I'm a really tiny guy with no muscle who will look lost, confused and scared shitless
Don't look like this. This is literally the worst thing you can do. Never done time myself but have been in the army, first guy that gives you shit you will have to just open up viciously, just go fucking nuts. Just don't stop, this is better if you're in the holding tank as he won't have many people to back him up.
You're probably going to get pushed around, unless you're in the Britsh system, then it is a holiday compared to the US and Russia.
>I'm a really tiny guy with no muscle who will look lost, confused and scared
You'll make a fine prison wife. Can you play a trap convincingly?
This, first day go fucking nuts. Keep to yourself and don't talk to anybody. Don't tell your crime, don't say where your from just sit their and silently stare at people.
While you're in there read some real books, not Lord of the Rings or weeaboo shit and also avail yourself of the local weightlifting facilities.
Don't back down and allow yourself to be forced to do shit. NEVER back down. It's better to be beaten or shanked than to back down and be someone else's bitch, doing their dirty work for eight years. If you struggle and lose, it's still a positive outcome.
>And I'm not 100% sure, but from how it sounds, things are just not in my favor at all despite the fact that I was lied to and didn't even know I was committing a crime.
So she lied about her age, then?
Also, make spread and pruno.
Especially if it's a first time offender, judges tend to be somewhat lenient. Over here (in the Netherlands), they usually end up in front of the "police judge" (a special judge for petty crime) where the maximum sentence they can hand out is 1 year.
Though of course it's possible OP really fucked up.
>This, first day go fucking nuts. Keep to yourself and don't talk to anybody. Don't tell your crime, don't say where your from just sit their and silently stare at people.
This is the worst piece of prison advice I've ever seen.
i poo poo pee peeeeeee
The Netherlands prison system is not really like the US, man. You have actual justice and sense out there, and prisons that aren't run by for-profit amalgamates.
You will have to fight someone within your first week. Do it OP, just do it even if you lose. If you back down then everyone will shit all over you but if you at least fight it then people will respect you.
Trust me on this one.
>People telling him to act like an alpha
You think your average criminal is going to give a shit? Or that he's the only person there who would be nervous?
Best thing you can do is be polite, don't get involved in other people's business, and don't start trouble. Don't give people a reason to hate you.
It doesn't sound like OP is going to max security.
You know what you'll have a prison? Time. A lot of time. This time flies by, when you read or work out. If you come out of prison as a ripped man, who is well versed in calculus, you've spent your time much better than you could have shitposting on Veeky Forums.
He shouldn't act like an alpha and start fights, yes. But he shouldn't allow people to walk over him either.
>This is the worst piece of prison advice I've ever seen.
It is literally what everybody who has done time says they wish they had done. Anything over a year and a day and you go to the big one, not county, if you're staying local you have it easy.
>Best thing you can do is be polite
No, don't be polite. Be straight and stay out of other peoples shit, read and lift weights, that's it.
Nothing OP has said indicates he committed a violent crime. There's limited space in supermax prisons, so they won't bother sending random nonviolent offenders there.
It's more likely he'll be bored out of his skull than fearing for his life.
I have no skills. Not sure what I can pick up in the time I have, but thanks, that sounds like good advice.
I'm tiny and weak, if I tried to pick a fight it's a guarantee that I'll get my shit kicked in hard.
I kind of really don't want to get shanked though.
Thanks, this makes me feel a little better, I guess. I just hope I can survive long enough to actually get out a ripped man.
Learn to make stuff out of papier mache, then. I'd start with simple geometric shapes. Like shanks.
>for-profit amalgamates
I don't want to be that "le yurop is so superior americans so stupid xDDD" faggot, but I will never understand this. Prisons run for profit? Making a business out of detention? How is this even justified? How was this never declared unconstitutional?
Coming from someone who has been in a low security prison for two years, Just mind your own business. Keep your head down and don't make waves. The less attention people pay to you the less problems you'll have.
My crime wasn't violent, no.
I'm hoping this would be the case, that I'd just get to work out, read and be out in a few years without any shanks embedded in my abdomen or a gaping asshole, but I'm still not quite sure what to expect.
The idea was that private companies could run a facility more efficiently than the government, since they aren't mired in bureaucracy.
It didn't work like that in reality, so it's slowly changing. Private prisons are being phased out at the federal level, but allowed for states. For now.
>Prisons run for profit? Making a business out of detention? How is this even justified? How was this never declared unconstitutional?
The best part is that most for-profic prison companies make the cities where they set up shop sign contracts stating that if a certain percentage of cells aren't filled, the city will have to pay a fee to the company.
Yes, this means that the city then has an obligation to arrest and incarcerate more people to avoid having to pay a fee.
Unless you're going to some maximum security place for the extra crazy, you won't get stabbed day one. You will get hazed for awhile though, since prisons are very insular (go figure). Veeky Forums is not really the place to find prison life advice, use Google for that.
At some point, someone will try to beat your ass. Whether you win or lose the fight isn't as important as if you keep fighting or act like a bitch during it.
Don't talk to guards.
Stay away from gangs.
Go to the library, read, get in a work program, go to church. In general, try to follow rules and be a good prisoner. Don't become institutionalized. Finding things to do will help keep you out of trouble.
Everyone will know what you're in for and you'll figure out what everyone is in for. Don't ask folks what they did to end up there.
Don't try to be some kind of badass or something.
Boredom is the most dangerous enemy in prison.
Take some time to reflect on how you fucked up. You have a lot of time to improve yourself. Hell, I hear you can take college classes at some prisons.
Most of your time in prison will consist of playing cards, working out, reading and bullshitting with other prisoners. Keep your head down, stand up for yourself if threatened, stay out of hood shit or drama/prison politics.
t. sentenced to 5 years in US prison on a meth charge. Got out after 3 on good behavior.
Good luck. Hope you can find a D&D group.
Unless your crime was so bad that I would prefer you to suffer.
Because people are fucking insane and think JUSTIIICE(IE, punishment and ruining someone for one fuckup) is more important then actual justice and rehabilitation.
Also, this more or less applies to US prison. Figure out a hustle you can do in the prison economy, it makes your life easier.
Everyone saying to start a random fight on your first day has never been to prison. Keep your head down, don't let yourself get fucked with, be polite and stay out of drama, trouble, gangs, etc. If you see someone get their ass beat for example, don't tell a fucking soul about it.
You won't get attacked on your first day but you will get attacked at some point. If you win or lose isn't the important part, the important part is that you don't act like a pussy and you keep swinging until you physically can't swing anymore.
And yes, that is as bugfuck insane as it sounds.
>Yes, this means that the city then has an obligation to arrest and incarcerate more people to avoid having to pay a fee.
You what ?
Why dont you just use a deck of cards, or label a 20 pieces of paper?
Oh fuck. If it's statutory rape, then you'll get fucked with hard in prison.
Let me tell you right now, if you look like you claim you look you're going to attract attention, no two ways about it.
If you did something to a younger person, those boys aren't going to care if you were lied to or not. A lot of the inmates have kids and they really, really don't like people who mess with kids. DO NOT tell us if you did anything, but does this sound like something you're accused of?
Know for a fact: Your criminal record is public and you are wearing a nametag, these inmates have families who can look up whatever you did.
If you beat up everyone that messes with you does it get worse or better ?
I figure if you can't have dice, you can't have a deck of cards due to gambling concerns.
The first time someone steps to you, if you fight rather than trying to run; you'll attract less attention than if you try to get away.
Don't go seeking out fights but don't back down either. The whole key to low security is to not attract attention.
If everyone keeps messing with you so much, that you fight with people all the time, you're doing something very wrong, and you are fucked. Even complete badasses need to sleep.
Just hypothetically speaking, if it was, what would a person do about it to make themselves safer so they don't get murdered by every inmate there?
Treat everyone like a normal person until they fuck up.
Don't start fights, don't cuss at people, don't act scared, because you live in a giant apartment complex. Plus most dudes like being talked to normally and it shows that you respect them.
If someone tries to fight you, you better fight back. Your reputation is usually dominated by your first fight. Also, don't accept gifts from anyone. For the love of God, do not snitch.
My VtM MUDding buddy from school is in prison right now, and we've been writing back and forth. Asked him about the leisure activities. He wants to do some tabletop gaming but says there's only one game going on right now and everyone who plays is a minmaxing faggot and it's no fun. I've sent him a lot of Veeky Forums reading material (stuff like grain into gold) and he appreciates the hell out of having something to read about. Best advice would be to find a friend who can send you mail, especially large pdfs like that.
Short answer: yes but prepare for bad game
Decks of cards are a staple in prison, as are cigarettes. Without them you would have near constant riots.
>I would try to rob the bank the next minute.
Well there you go, theory confirmed.
Thanks. I was wondering this too, whether or not it'd be possible for me to get a rulebook or two or something.
You can't simply say that without going into details, user.
You'd be at the lowest part of the social hierarchy. You'd have to eat with other child molesters and be a pariah everywhere else.
Prisons vary. I've heard of some facilities being specialized for sex abusers.
Yeah, just learn the rules for the mail room and have a contact on the outside who can send you shit. It sounds like most rules are a homebrew / whatever you remember mix.
There are a couple options:
If you're a cool dude, inmates might understand. Also inmates are not going to jump you before talking to you. You better tell a fine story about how it happened, where you were completely innocent and how your lawyer messed up and how the judge cussed you. If you posted here long enough, you should be a good storyteller. Don't lie, but get creative.
Second, and I can't recommend this, is to go into protective custody. Hell, if you hypothetically did something like that, they might put you in protective custody anyways. Protective custody is for people like former police officers, judges and people accused of things you might be accused of. Because the system knows they are going to be in big danger on the inside.
If they don't put you in protective custody, you might have to request it.
Also, all this crap about not allowing tabletop games is bunk. They have DND books in the library and you can make your own dice out of paper. Cut heads out of magazines for characters and keep them in a bag and you can make your own maps out of pen and paper. Plus you can order more books though the library as long as they are approved. As a matter of fact, I knew a few boys who made a nice hustle out of making dice, setting up tabletop games and basically adding another activity to the dorm. Most older folks will think you're a weirdo but thats okay, you're just a Jit. If the dice get found, they will be taken away for gambling paraphernalia. You're probably not going to get sent to confinement over it unless you get a real jerk guard.
Ok. So basically fight only when you really need to.
How brutal are inmates during fights ? Suppose I break somoene's bones or punch him in the neck, is that too much ?
Im kinda curious how "hardcore" american prisons are compared to Algeria and the like.
What are other ways you can make random number generators without using dice?
Are smartphones with dice apps allowed?
One-time pads?
Stopwatches maybe?
UK has for-profit prisons too, friendo
I'm not a great storyteller at all, and I try to be a cool dude but I'm sure I'll just be an awkward anxious mess in prison.
Why can't you recommend protective custody? Is there some kind of drawback to it? It sounds like the best choice, from what I've heard so far.
>Are smartphones with dice apps allowed?
Isn't the internet generally forbidden in prison?
I can't imagine that a smartphone would be okay
Stopwatch is a brilliant idea if they're allowed
It starts to sound like you're a kiddy diddler, and my sympathy to you is slowly evaporating.
My old neighbor who had been to prison found out I play Magic and told me about this group of people that played in there.
He said one guy would have his girl bring him cards and basically ran the table, the others would get pissed because his cards were so strong. Apparently there was almost a stabbing over a game.
Probably none of them knew how to actually play, I couldn't help but think of when I was a little kid and me and my friends would "play" the pokemon TCG but we just made up how it worked.
He did say he was lied to, probably fugged a girl who's like 16 and said she was 18 and then found out later
It could still be anything for 15 to 5, and fucking a well developed 14+ yr old who claimed she was a year or two older isn't complete monster territory.
I don't know about algerian stuff, but I can tell you that it really depends on the prison.
Also, most dorms are like towns. Everybody has a job and you can learn from everybody, one way or another. You have lawyers, tattoo artists, local drug stores, commissaries, all that stuff. You also have hood rats and drug dealers so be mindful and keep your head up.
At some point, if you don't talk to anybody, someone is going to talk to you to get the lowdown on you. They want to know if you're going to snitch, how you respect, what you're about and soforth. If you have any tattoos, tell them about it only when someone asks, it shows what you believe and what it means to you.
Also, that 'when you really need to' shit is going to get you hurt. If someone fucks with you, you better be ready to tustle, cause if people see others disrespect you, and you LET THEM, they aren't going to respect you either.
It depends on who you're fighting and why. A random crazy isn't going to be as brutal as someone in a gang.
The only time I got in a fight, it was a month in and some guy attacked me when I was playing cards. I still don't know who he is or why he attacked me, it was out of nowhere.
If you get in a fight, defend your neck since they will try to attack it. As far as breaking bones, most fights don't last long enough for some kung fu shit. If some people are going to get lethal, they'll jump you in a group. A one on one fight is more about sending a message or just being pissed off for no reason than trying to murder someone.
In american prisons, how someone fights varies by race. Rednecks do the hillbilly swings and can't fight for shit. Black try to get half an inch in front of you and throw elbows. Hispanics will try to box you. Just keep your neck and face guarded while throwing a bunch of straights at their face. Avoid being taken to the ground and keep swinging until you physically can't. That's most of what you need to know for a prison fight.
No experience with prison but I've been gaming in an asylum / madhouse for a while. It's pretty much the same - bars on the windows, food is garbage, you're under constant supervision, you have fags coveting your butt and most of your roommates are there because they got in some serious trouble with the law. The only difference is their lawyer was good enough to let them dodge full responsibility.
That said, I had to opt for super generic fantasy. but the group turned out better than some of the "normal" people I've been playing with. Well, except for the klepto, seriously, fuck that bitch with a rusty rake.
But I guess beggars can't be choosers and there really weren't that many other outlets (TV was restricted and personal electronics confiscated). We could have books, paper, pencils and blackboard. Dice were simulated with 6 sided pencil.
Well when you need to is when you're being disrespected. Usually if you don't take shit, it doesn't get physical.
The when you need to is to stress that you shouldn't be going around seeking fights or punching random people.
>Smartphone
>In jails
You are lucky if the screws allow you fucking shoelaces.
Contact with the outside world on a smartphone?
You are fucking deluded.
If he is a nonce, he'll get put on a nonces wing. Where he'll be safe from other inmates. If you consider being around nonces safe.
Dice weren't allowed but pencils were?
I'm actually quite surprised you are allowed fantasy RPGs in the madhouse
Not all mental illnesses mean you are dangerously detached from reality.
>Contact with the outside world on a smartphone?
>You are fucking deluded.
Well, maybe OP is Mexican drug lord.
Haha, okay about protective custody.
A lot of dudes mess up behind bars. I've seen it time and time again. These dudes mess up, like you seem to want to do, and they say something to the wrong dude for example. They know what's coming so they go up the guard window and say 'hey, I'm checking in' meaning going into protective custody. The guards laugh cause they gotta go through a lot of paperwork to check a dude in, and most of the time dudes want to check in over nothing. So when a real check-in case comes along, these guards often ignore it, cause they know why you're coming up to their window.
So then you really have to improvise. Now I'm not going to say some ways the old convicts use to check in, but for you Jit, just call your mommy and tell her to raise a stick to get you in protective custody. Prison officials get momma calls all the time and though it won't earn you any respect, classification will do their jobs.
Golf pencils. Too small to actually do any damage with.
I have a friend who's a correctional officer and according to him they play RPGs all the time. As was mentioned previously, dice are typically not permitted, though.
If he had connections he wouldn't be confused about the world he's about to enter.
This man speaks the truth
If you can afford them phones, they are definitely there. Guards hunt for them real bad though, and some of them seem like they can smell phones.
>not allowed dice or TV
>allowed internet
????
OP, just tell us what you're being tried for and clear the air, so we can help you better
can you do that for us?
How do they play without dice?
Course there's contraband, but OP doesn't seem like he wants to be stuck there longer for the sake of playing pretend.
He's an employee you tard.
Pencils have six sides.
Cards are allowed in most prisons.
Pencil (and paints) were part of the inventory because Art Therapy is a thing. We also had cassette player. Probably would have gotten away with dice too, but "personal item" allowance was spend on books and bouncy ball. I regret nothing!
I don't feel comfortable saying it, but some anons have figured it out from the bits I've given.
Why are cards allowed over dice?
ah, literal jailbait, I take it?
It depends on what kind of prison you are going to.
Past tense. These days nobody can tell I'm medicated crazy.
Some say the only difference between warden and patient is that by some twist of fate one of them was entrusted the keys. I could see where that comes from.