Dungeon Life Quest (DLQ) 91 - Why Does This Quest Have So Many Birds Edition

He set up the Baron's death transfers. We made Vim and Vigor from his hands.

> He can /fucking try/
Well, we can give that guy the finger from his student's hands and enjoy the shadenfreude.

Nah. It'll be better to tell him he was a shitty teacher who only taught him how to use Necromancy and not the much more important lesson of how not to use it FOR FUCKING EVIL at least, but ideally not unless necessary.

And that we treated his death with more respect than he treated his students life, judging by what he taught him.

>Ask about something else?

>What can you tell me about the resistance? I know it won't be terribly much, but whatever you can tell us will be helpful, and you won't be sorry you did.

We already have a number of threats against our life and lovers that one more isn't really that big a deal anymore. Everyone hates all of us if they work for Richard, and this necromancer is no different and just as culpable as the rest.

Wow, that's Gawthik as fuuuuuck.. Such edge, such clever fucking wit.

I bet the artist had someone ask them this question a couple days before drawing this and wish they thought of that answer then.

Actually, you have it wrong - the goth girl is a side character, the main character is the fellow on the left.

I mean, I own actual fishnet shirts and bondage pants and was alive for the 80's and 90s. I fucking larped V:TM for gods sake.

So this is mostly me just being all "Oh god, people really were like that or tried to be."

And now in my drunken state I'm remembering that people actually did use to ask that stupid fucking question all the time.

> Main character is an actual self-insert

You may have proven me technically wrong, but you're making the comic seem far worse than what I said about it.

>"Cute. I'll be sure he knows that it was by his apprentice's hands he was undone."
Have Vim and Vigor jump out for added effect.

Gonna murder him, then cut off his hands and have the whole set!

Darwin Carmichael is Going to Hell.
If he's a self insert he's fucked.

>>"Cute. I'll be sure he knows that it was by his apprentice's hands he was undone."
>Have Vim and Vigor jump out for added effect.

Seconded.

So. One the one hand the comic is pretentious hipster trash. Second of all, apparently he didn't go to hell and was vindicated and shit in the end, so fuuuuuuuuuck you. Third, he ended it after just under 400 updates, and apparently had an actual story arc plotted out and while it's fucking trash artistically and with ham-handed with it's character development when it isn't outright cliche or clumsy "subversions" - Mechanically it's actually pretty well written.

I can see why he didn't get paid for it, but fuck me it's more than most people do and he can always get better. That and actually ending it to move on gives me hope for his future work. That it won't be some vague nu-holistic personal journey bullshit where he realizes that between being just another countless human and being and unique snowflake in existence, the arbitrary value of yourself isn't worth any less because it's subjective.

Dude literally tries to pull a fucking Buddha acceptance of death. I hope to fucking god it was to cope with someone close to him dying of a terminal illness because it definitely gave me cancer.

Dude stop pretending that webcomics and their writers aren't 120% trash

>Ask about something else (what?)
>Tell me about him and what he has flying/crawling around here.

We did kill him but we were respectful AS FUCK about it.

>> Ask about something else (what?)
Not worth our time to engage on that subject, enemy necro will get dealt with as needed.
Also, posturing; if we move on like it's no thang, the harpy will be kinda WTF.

Hey. Even just making trash is still at least making something, and I try to be positive.

God knows it can't be worse than quests on Veeky Forums.

And a bump.

And one from me.

Sweet, maybe make them do a tap dance routine!

So guys, how big a family do you think Bri wants?

2-3 kids with Nate; Amys and Nates flock of undetermined size of above 3 and all those who get adopted by Bri.

Bri technically already has too kids adopted as they may be, my bet is how much the two of them can wring out of Nate on any given day.

Nate might need to get his pelvis enchanted for endurance.

Up, called, tallying, writing. Thank you for your patience. I gotta work today pretty soon so there may be another extended delay. You have my apologies in advance.

>Saying Bri isn't getting that installed already from the Succubus.
The dude lived with Harry for a reason, ironic though it may be.

You shrug. "That's nice," you tell her. "Got an idea of what he's got serving him?"

"Um. There's those bats," Cry says, pointing upwards as best she can. "He's also got some kind of shadow thing with a serious attitude problem, and pretty much unilateral permission to stick his shovel wherever he likes."

"You've got a really well-read vocabulary," River notes, curiously.

"Yeah, you can blame Dad for that one," Piercing Cry says with a shrug. "You name a guy Crashes Often and he spends more time with books than in the air."

"...Huh," you say slowly.

"Met him?" Cry asks.

"Mmhm. Didn't mention a daughter."

"Almost like I'm a grown-ass woman who can take care of herself," the harpy snaps. Then she looks down at her bandaged wound. "...Usually. Point is, he doesn't need to babysit me."

Note to self, daughter is touchy about being a grown-up.

"Let's talk about you and the other harpies working for the Lush," you suggest. "How much do you know about current events in the Roost?"

"Fucking nothing, and I'm not inclined to believe your say-so either," Piercing Cry says flatly.

You shrug. "What's the Lush paying you?"

"Food for our families. That whole 'not dying' thing is pretty compelling."

"Someone got less friendly all of a sudden," you note.

"You're about to ask me to turn traitor, and I've got hatchlings to feed," Piercing Cry says frankly. "Not happening."

> Try to persuade her
> Damn. Aren't you awful young?
> Try to move back to a less sensitive subject (what?)
> Leave it for now. You can talk her around later

I gotta hit work y'all. I'll give you an ETA once I remember my damn schedule; in the meantime, votes remain open.

Questions, comments, discussion, feedback, and criticisms remain welcome and appreciated.

Thank you all for reading and participating!

>> Try to persuade her
>> Damn. Aren't you awful young?
I get that, what I don't get is you passing up the chance for them to live and grow free from the Lush or even the dungeon if they wanted. A LOT has changed since you sold your loyalty to a monster, let's talk.

>> Try to persuade her

>> Try to persuade her
"How about we let you go take a look at how Roost is doing and then think about worthiness of your allegiance again?"

> Try to persuade her

>"Food for our families. That whole 'not dying' thing is pretty compelling."
... so harpies aren't affected by the Curse? Or her+family is on the Lushes nice list.
If it's the 2nd, well...

>> Leave it for now. You can talk her around later
If she's not going to believe anything we say, better to save our breath.

We're in New Hell, right? Can we just show her the Roost?

>> Leave it for now. You can talk her around later
It's really not worth our time to take her to the roost just so we can get one harpy on our side. Especially since it's a little more complicated than showing her that the whole place isn't on fire or something.

Nope. We're in the Cornucopia, near the lizard camp we just smashed up.

Didn't we bring the prisoners back, though?

Looked over last thread; Harpy attacked while we were at the lizard camp, we took her with the rest of the prisoners to the entrance, which, best as I can tell, is where we still are. So we were both kinda wrong and right.

However, taking through New Hell to the Roost would take at least several hours, if not the better part of a day; Remember how large each level is.

No but do we have the cellphone on us? It's not like persuading her RIGHT THIS VERY INSTANT is super important but maybe we can get a hold of someone who can reach Crashes Often. If she hears her own father report on what's going on she'll come around. Meanwhile, we get busy and avoid the harpies.

>Try to persuade her
That's fine, I don't need you to turn traitor. the problem is, I can't help you with your family problems unless you help me to do so. The Lush is going to die, period, no question and for certain, and the Angel he's torturered is going to have her way with him. All his other minions are dead or safely in free territory, because the angel had mercy on those who deserved it.

So you can help me to help you, or you can wait and hope that your family doesn't die for no reason. And I'm not threatening you - that's just the way war is, I'm afraid. I don't have to try and make casualties in war. They happen without anyone's help at all. But I CAN try and mitigate the damage caused as best I can - which is more than anyone you're working for will do for you.

>No but do we have the cellphone on us?

Do you mean the bellphone?

Hey Vox! Blazed through the archives, love the quest overall. Favorite climatic scene so far has to be The Trial of the Dead with River, favorite single image is the poker game with the Poet, and the weakest part for me was probably the fight between Nathan and Natalia.

Would it be worthwhile to send for Crashes Often, I mean yeah she has daddy issues but she'd at least hear him out as an "unbiased" inhabit of the Roost

> Try to persuade her

"Yeah, well, luckily you don't have to believe what I say." Then use the bells to get someone from the roost to talk to her, or her dad if possible.

Home. Called, will write shortly, need to rest up from work. Looks like a fairly clear-cut vote with a strong bent towards getting her dad on the bell.

Aaaand writing now.

bump

You quirk an eyebrow. "If I remember correctly, your hatchlings are in the Roost with the rest of your murder that isn't here, yes?"

Piercing Cry gives you a suspicious look. "And if they are?"

You take your silver bell from its little breast pocket and ring it three times - the code for the Roost.

"Razor Feathers," the ruler of the Perch answers, on the other side.

"Can you get me the Reverend?" you ask politely. "And work on being able to open the Cornucopia door from your side, while we're at it. We may need an emergency exit."

"On it, la Croix. The dwarves have already been on the door, in point of fact. They don't like doors they can't open."

"Sounds like dwarves to me," you agree pleasantly.

"Where in all the fiery forges of Hell did you get that?" Piercing Cry asks, incredulously.

"Stole one off of the Traitor, had my own smith make copies," you answer, with a shrug. "They're handy."

"How do I know that's actually my father on the other side?" the harpy accuses.

"How the fuck am I supposed to know?" you ask with a shrug. "Figure it out for yourself, I dunno what kind of relationship you two have."

"Adversarial," Piercing Cry mutters.

"No shit."

from the grave you shall rise.

So, should be interesting when we mention that our friends died protecting HER hatchlings once already.

Also that Diving Shadow might not give them back due to concerns about her qualities as a mother.

"This doesn't change anything," Piercing Cry insists.

"Mhm," you say, folding your arms. "We'll see."

"/About what/?" the harpy asks. "What is it you want?"

"I want to get through this having killed as few people as absolutely fucking necessary," you tell her, firmly. "That's what I want. So if I can get you to help me /not/ kill harpies, I'm going to do it. I want, more than anything else, to watch you and them fuck off back to the Roost and not come back until the Lush is dead in a hole."

"You needed me, Ms. la Croix?" the Reverend's voice says from the bell.

"Dad?" Piercing Cry asks.

"Broken Tooth!" the Reverend exclaims.

The harpy girl turns beet. Red.

"Piercing Cry, huh?" you ask.

"HE NAMED ME YOUNG!"

"Why is my daughter yelling?" the Reverend asks.

"I shot her and now she doesn't trust me for some reason," you explain.

"Mm. Odd, I immediately befriend all who shoot me," the priest notes.

"DAD!"

"Yes, Broken Tooth?"

"RAVEN DAMN IT, DAD!"

> Interrupt
> Schadenfreude is the best freude

> Schadenfreude is the best freude
It's funny when it happens to other people.

Seriously when are you going to get a show like this again any time soon.
>Schadenfreude is the best freude

Lol

>> Schadenfreude is the best freude

> Schadenfreude is the best freude

>> Schadenfreude is the best freude

There's another choice here, but I really think that this is for the best.

I had some other things that I wanted to ask, but now I just want to hear embarrassing stories.

>Schadenfreude is the best freude.

On the one hand we are kind of on a time limit but the way Bri has been down on herself recently she could probably use a good non-maniacal laugh right about now. We should call over lovers and sister and ask the good reverend to share the story of her name until she agrees to help.

> "Won't do it. Nope. Not happening."
> "Help us, or we'll have your dad tell us embarrassing stories from your childhood."
> "You wouldn't dare."
> "Oh really. Reverend?"
> "Well, back when she was still a fluffy chick..."
> "AAAARGH"

Maybe add in the worst torture of all. Dad humor.

Truly evil. It would be a mercy to just end her now.

> Schadenfreude is the best freude.
How can we NOT? I mean, you know us Vox. You know what we like.

Skeletons in lingerie.

> So, why exactly DID you pick Broken Tooth?

And when she's finally thoroughly mortified from that, kick her while she's down by asking

> So, why Piercing Cry? Did you pick it yourself?

Because the only thing worse than having an embarrassing name is getting called out on picking your own nickname.

>Piercing Cry
What's the bet she earned that name in bed rather than on the battlefield?

That's every harpy ever.

Well my night just kinda vanished away from me. Votes are gonna remain open, though it looks like 'discussion' might be more accurate.

Questions, comments, discussion, feedback, and criticisms remain welcome and appreciated.

Thank you all for reading and participating!

Trips earn you forgiveness, O' Slutty Lich of the Black Bean.

Kek

Your cruelty knows no bounds. I like it.

>Schadenfreude is the best freude

>"Dad?" Piercing Cry asks.
>"Broken Tooth!" the Reverend exclaims.

Best worst proof ever.

>"DAD THAT IS NOT MY NAME NOW!"
>"Well what is you name then?"
>"I AM CRY!"
>"Don't be sad, Dad is here!"
>[Angry Harpy noises]

Man Briony wasn't kidding about Dungeon names huh.

>Schadenfreude is the best freude

Right so

I had to stop reading around the time of Silence's death (for unrelated reasons, mind, I'm not some pussy who drops a story because best character got shanked offscreen) and I've tried to read the threads between then and now and for some reason my brain just refuses to, I get distracted or tired or whatthefuckever and it's pissing me off.

So could someone do a quick summary of what's gone on between then and now? Preferably not Vox because I don't want to slow the updates?

No problem if it can't be done, I just don't want to return to the story with outdated knowledge.

That's an awful lot to sum up honestly. It's dense material.

Not even a little. There's a minotaur somewhere down here named Prime Cut.

dude just ctrl-f Vox's posts only, ignore the rest. Should be fine.

abump

Where'd all the drawfags go?

I'm up. Will call and write after coffee, shower.

And here we go.

Shhh! Drawfags are rare and elusive creatures, very skittish. You want to approach them carefully, from downwind, and present your request gently lest they flee.

But seriously? My money's on Real Life. Bane of all things fun and interesting.

Domachevsky is Vox's drawfriend from their webcomic, so he hasn't gone anywhere.

I think Gentleman Kong caught patriotism and signed up for the military or something.

Your normal urge to jump in and save people kicks in. You grab this urge, choke it firmly, and cram it in the bottom of your soul where it won't interrupt the show.

This is gonna be /good/.

Piercing Cry is trying so hard to fold her arms indignantly and she can't because she's still chained up. "I told you, I'm not using that name!"

"You used to love that name," the Reverend notes, in the suspiciously amused tones you've come to associate with both priests and your Grandfather. "You carried that tooth around with you everywhere."

"Not in front of the necromancer, dad!" Piercing Cry protests, helplessly.

"You even gave it to your daughter," Crashes Often continues, a note of hurt entering his voice.

"I - you - /not relevant/!" You could cook an egg on her indignant blush, you swear to the Raven. "Aren't you supposed to be on /my/ side?"

"She raises a decent point," the Reverend muses. "Ms. la Croix, how did she come to be shot?"

"She was scouting for the Lush and I didn't need my activities reported," you admit. "She'll fly again, especially once we actually heal her. We've sort of just stitched her up for the moment in the interests of her not flying back."

"That sounds like a fairly reasonable justification for getting shot," Crashes Often points out. "I keep hearing chains. Broken Tooth, are you in chains?"

"My name is /Piercing Cry/!"

The Reverend gives a theatrical sniff. "Abandoned, by my own daughter..."

"Dad!"

"Whom I loved and raised from her egg with my own hands..."

"/Dad/!"

"I hope you never experience such betrayal, Ms. la Croix. The sting is un-"

"FINE DAD USE WHATEVER NAME YOU WANT JUST STOP!"

You're trying to confirm that the harpy is in chains but you're too busy laughing yourself to death. You can feel it coming on, the warm embrace of the Veil, because you can't fuckin' breathe and it just is not getting less funny. River actually pats you on the back between her own chuckles, amusement dancing in her eyes.

>You can feel it coming on, the warm embrace of the Veil, because you can't fuckin' breathe and it just is not getting less funny.
Loras face would be epic in the pre-rez peptalk.

"How are the hatchlings?" Broken Tooth asks, still red in the face but with a note of worried sobriety.

"They are...unhurt," Crashes Often admits. "The same cannot be said of your mate. Your hatchlings are currently in the care of Diving Shadow, at his request."

"What happened to Sings?" Broken Tooth asks, her voice all worry now.

"There's no easy way to -"

"WHAT HAPPENED TO SINGS-TO-DWARVES?" the harpy girl screams, a note of panicked screech putting an edge to her voice.

The Reverend sighs. "There was an attack, by the allies of the Lush. He was among those that fought back, Broken Tooth. He lost both of his wings in the fighting, as many of us did."

"...You too?" Broken Tooth whispers.

"No," Crashes Often reassures her. "And the hatchlings are safe. They keep asking for you. Their father is not...not equal to their care, at the moment."

Now you let the urge to save people kick in. You go over to Broken Tooth and sit down next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders. The shock and devastation on her face could not be more complete.

"...I need to talk to these people now," Broken Tooth whispers, before she reaches out and stills the clapper of the bell.

She stares, mutely, out into the grasses.

> I'm sorry
> Can you see why I don't want to hurt anyone if I don't have to?
> Just let her find herself
> Write-in?

>> Just let her find herself