Any interesting MTG salt stories?

Any interesting MTG salt stories?

>play burning vengeance deck against a friend
>they are playing UG evolve
>they call my deck garbage for not having counterspells
>as the game goes on, I get the upper hand with burning vengeance value
>they start getting upset at the deck and they eventually lose
>say the deck is "unfun" because it does the same thing every time and say only "real" decks are fun and different every match
>they also call the deck unfair for not running creatures because his removal is now pointless
>they rage for a bit and decides to stop playing

>control decks
>fun

Bleh

Not particularly interesting but
>EDH GAME
>Pharika
>Vorel
>Memeoplasm (me)
>Pharika is so risk averse he refuses to attack and lose any creatures, so he just sit back and masturbates on his Culling Dais to Pharika turning graveyards to snakes because maths and game 'engines' are his fetish and he has like 120 life and all his turns are like 15 minutes of 'I do this ability and this ability and this ability,' none of which actually advance the game state

>Vorel barely hanging on after like 12 turns of this nonsense(and wishing he hadn't bothered surviving desu), but since everyone has like 5 deathtouch snakes on defense at this point it's mostly a stalemate apart from the occasional flying demon punching someone for 5

>Aided by Thieving Magpie, I finally assemble a kill combo and wait for Pharika to tap out

>Pharika taps out to do some dumb shit, on my turn I use like 16 mana to Bury Alive, Memeoplasm, Inquisitor's Flail, and Lightning Greave the guy in the face with a 15/15 Jodah's Avenger for instantly lethal overkill commander damage, ending the 'fun'

>Pharika goes 'wowow ur deck is so boring all it is is mimeoplasm without ur commander u can't do anything my deck takes REAL SKILL and has REAL FUN'

>ok

>Walk home with Vorel who has little to say beyond 'I wish you did that sooner'

>Game three at a pauper tourney
>I'm on UW tron, he's on 5c teachings
>He seems to have sided out all his wincons
>Back and forth counterspells
>Resolve curse of the bloody tome
>He tries to remove it, I repeal my own tome
>Counterspell war
>Counter his one of Sprout Swarm
>Mill him out with tome
>Salt ensues

Would you count other CCG salt stories? I was mostly an METW player myself.

Does my own salt count?

>have Heartless Hidetsugu and Rakdos, Lord of Riots on the field
>dude was playing lifegain and at 60 life
>activate Hidetsugu
>everything's 30 mana off
>cast Maga, Traitor to Mortals, X=30
>dude flips and accuses me of playing some tier 1 competitive bullshit when he wanted a casual game
>mfw competitive players probably have never even seen a Maga

>casual game with some friends after done with classes for that day at uni
>5 color slivers, mostly burn mono red deck, & my mono white lifegain deck.
>friend who plays slivers gets out two land but fail to get anymore after that.
>red burn friend focuses all his attention on slivers.
>tfw get the perfect mana curve and play rox faithmender then spend several turns dumping as much into my life as I can
>tfw get above 40 life cast Felidar Sovereign
>tfw slivers nor red burn had time to counter
>tfw felidar won actually won me a game
>might order some more Feldiar & Faithmenders once I get the money

*tfw felidar actually won me a game*

Reminded me of something I've told before:

My best friend had an old school Land Destruction Deck. The thing was simply fascist.
Literally the only way you could have a hope of playing anything was if he got completely screwed for land.

So, I built the perfect deck against his. The "Piss Off" deck.
It was essentially all counterspells and prodigal sorcereprs.

>tfw when he stills wins but is so damn aggravated at being brought down to 5 life by my pathetic deck and I'm grinning like a fool
>tfw he won but I had more fun

>Modern FNM
>Play Infect against a girl at the FLGS
>Turn one faithless looting into, Grave Troll and Amalgam go into the yard
>ohboyherewego.jpg
>Outrace here game 1
>Game two board in 2 Surgical Extractions and 1 Cage - make a point of putting them in different parts of the library as I usually do; present for cutting; 7 shuffles
>Draw my starting hand
>2 Surgical Extractions
>In response to Faithless looting extract Bloodghast and Troll
>Win
>She sulks and tells me to "learn to shuffle"

Dredge players, everyone. I mean sure I was lucky, but man learn to lose properly

>playing a Steppe Lynx/Geopede deck with Adventurer's Gear and full fetch lands a few years ago
>smug Planeswalker Pals fuccboi says that Adventurer's Gear is a janky piece of shit
>T1 Gear
>T2 Pede
>T3 Geopede + Gear, fetchland, crack, land
>swing for 9
>T4 fetch, swing for 9, bolt

>sweep him again with any combination of Goblin Guide/Lynx/Pede + Gear and bolts
>2-0 him with my unoptimized jank deck just because of smart mulls/luck
>nigga is literally red in the face
>stands up and pitches his deck at the wall max power
>he gets DQ'd and his friends are picking up his cards for him

And that's my only relevant salt story, and the reason why Plated Geopede holds a special place in my heart even today.

If she didn't think you randomized enough she should have called a judge before the game started, but she didn't and was just a salt lick.

Almost forgot a special picture for a very special little guy.

>Play kitchen table as a kid
>Friend always builds decks which were much more tryhard than the rest of ours - when we had mill and momo b skeletons, he had white weenies with anthems, bonesplitters and akroma/blazing archons
>Often lose to my skeletons
>Always goes on a rant how control decks are shit
>Challenges me to build a mono U control deck to build him
>I build the deck and we get to play
>Turn 3 play a spell off a Seat of the Synod
>"Oh, I haven't seen this spell before. What does it do?"
>It's Tinker

You can all guess what happened next.

Am I the only one who enjoys being salty as half the fun of magic?

My brother and I are grown men ("grown" and "men" being subjective in this case) and we will play MtG together and every time he destroys a creature or I destroy a creature we will rage at each other and call each other niggers and faggots. Like /b/ in real life. We'll tell each other dumb-ass "edgy" shit like threatening to rape each other with tons of cocks that we sprout out of our arms. There's all sorts of other shit we say to each other until we can't keep a straight face.

It's really autistic but I can't help it.

I'm 23 by the way.

>4 player EDH
>3 aggro versus RUB control
>We just want to murder each other
>He won't let us
>Not even attacking him
>Just each other
>JUST LET US KILL EACH OTHER
>no lol
>He eventually wins with a combo
>Everyone leaves pissed
>Three days later his basic social interaction pops in and he apologizes
>We're still pissed
>Whenever he breaks out RUB control we break out our strongest decks and focus him
>He gets mad
>Our faces when he starts bitching and gets pissy

I do enjoy a similar aspect of the game desu. I am also very competitive and always want to win so there's that.
>A guy at the LGS, plays B/W control most of the time
>A really cool dude, we're not exactly close friends but are on very good terms
>At FNM everyone has a blast and good time
>Except us when we play each other
>Gloomy, focused, irritable, not even banter - just some nervous exchanges during sideboarding
>We're so competitive we simply can't enjoy playing each other
Which is a bloody shame desu

Kill yourself

to be honest, it's unfair when you lose so easily. it's much more fun to have a fight and then lose because you're opponent was more clever.

the fact that your deck so easily countered there's was unfun.

yeah, both of you should've acknowledged it. "this deck easily countered mine, fuck. let me play with a different deck" etc.

my most favorite game was control vs. control. we controlled so much of each others' shit we played for hours, each eagerly waiting for the point in which we failed. it was fun, and neither of us faulted the other, because it took so long

Not MTG, but I figured there's no better place for it. I was playing FoW, me with a monoblack deck using Arthur, Undead Lord, and a LOT of removal and some bitchin Shadows (mainly Dark Faria and Jeanne D'Arc). He was playing a five color control deck that eventually let him control exactly what he was pulling each turn. His big combos involved making me sack and discard, then getting out big angels to beat me over the head. He seemed so proud of himself once he finally got to the board state where he could almost literally search his deck each turn for what he wanted to draw.

He did not expect me to have SO MUCH removal, or for me to be able to keep bringing my Arthurs back. As it wore on and on, he started talking less and less, stopped explaining (bragging) about his deck's combos. By the end of it, he had three cards in his deck, dead silent. Next turn, I swing for game with my Arthur and a pair of Jeannes. So he uses a couple of abilities that lets him draw three cards at the end of my turn, then on his turn he can't draw, so he loses automatically.

I'll give him one thing, he managed to smile and say good game, but he won't play me with that deck anymore. Really his own fault, if he didn't force me to keep sacking and discarding, I wouldn't have had all the fuel I needed to keep bringing back my Arthurs.

You first, cuddles.

That is the best (and only) story of how to properly use a Maga I've ever heard

>lgs runs a pauper tourney every now and then
>Our playgroup is pretty chill except for this one cunt who we all agree is borderline autistic
>Like actually autistic
>ff to last round of tourney
>I'm versing autistic cunt
>He's playing some shitty orzhov drain deck and I'm running soul sisters
>I get to 68 life and he flips shit
>"That deck is bullshit and should be banned, it takes like no fucking skill" etc. etc.
>Owner kicks autistic cunt out for being too salty

Fuck I love pauper

>4 players
>Blue/Black mill deck
>green player has dictate of kamerata on the field
> I have phenax, consuming abhorration and 2 tokens of the latter
>bl/r/w player used up all his counters
> cast pic related with 18 mama
>each player discards cards from their library untill the have discarded x land cards
>x is 16, plus 3 more from the consuming abhorrations
>at this point, the collective number of cards in all graveyards is over 200.
>Consuming abhorrations tapped, thanks to pheonax
>Creatures you control have "Tap: Target player puts the top X cards of his or her library into his or her graveyard, where X is this creature's toughness."
>that's another 600 cards
>green deck has predators council

Did you get a Shield Sphere?

Pauper kind of sucks because the board wipes are underwhelming. Every pauper game I've ever played always ended up with every player sitting there with a board full of giant creatures, not really attacking because every opponent had a board full of equally unimpressive large creatures who could just block / double block to kill anything. People would usually just quit out of boredom and start getting out a real deck.

Kill yourself

>I suck at magic and everyone should pander to me

Dope.

>user doesn't want to sit and do literally nothing for an hour before losing to something he couldn't do anything about
>neither do his friends
>faggot won't stop playing a deck that nobody likes
>user and friends ally together to ensure faggot's deck doesn't get to a position where it can do something nobody but faggot likes
I don't see the problem.

The amount of salt from them in that story is unreal.

I'd be salty too if I sat at a table for an hour with a well-established board state while some faggot stopped me or my friends from developing any kind of combo while fishing for his own. That's not playing EDH, that's jacking off on the table. That's not to say I entirely disagree with lockdown decks, but the fact that he so easily held down the entire table implies that he was playing a few tiers above everyone else, which is another sin.

>muh spirit of EDH
I'm sure someone autistic enough to have this argument will keep arguing you in my stead, I have too much shit to do.

can you post your list? I actually have 8 creatures in mine, 4 Deranged Assistant and 4 Gravecrawler. The Gravecrawlers can be cast from the grave and I sac them to Infernal Plunge (2 Zombie Infestation help me keep zombies on the field and I pitch flashback spells like Faithless and Mystic) and the Assistants mill flashback stuff.

God I want Jeanne to be good, but shes so bad.

>EDH
>Prossh combo
>Niv-Mizzet everysinglecombo
>Omnath stompy (my easymode deck)
>probably someone else who cares
>Prossh friend goes to cast Prossh
>Niv-Mizzet has five lands exactly, Pact of Negation on Prossh
>"dude he's still gonna get tokens, why do that?"
>"i dunno, I just wanted to use it"
>my turn next
>"hey Niv, how many lands do you have?"
>"five"
>ohyoudonediditnowboy.png
>Bramblecrush one of his blue sources
>whole table laughs as Niv scoops up his deck
>he's laughing too

This wasn't really a salt story, I guess, but it was funny, yet simple, all the same.

blue is signified with U, instead of BL like you have it