"May I please join your group?" says the lilliputian snake-person of indeterminate sex

I'm sorry, but you dont have any d4s. I appreciate your preparedness in other areas, but that's essential to this system.

Think of how awesome a tiny snake boi would be when playing wargames. He could actually give real line of sight. He could do delicate model adjustments. He could be a super painting bro. His turns would take forever as he run...crawls around the board though.

Eh, sure. You can't be any worse than the guy who spends the entire game on his phone.

Of course!

What group? There is only me...

They brought their own writing utensils, that basically guarantees them a spot.

This is going to really show how green I am, but what are they holding in their tail?

'Friday not, our group has a motto: if it ain't got a dick, it ain't gonna stick.

Now scram small fry. Serious players only.

Okay just try not to roll the dice off the table.

> party of bards must determine the sex of every NPC henchman

But what if it has a hemipenis?

Look on the bright side, user. Now you have a player. Run a solo adventure for the little guy.
Hell, I do it whenever there's only one group member who showed up to the session.

I have one rule. No Kender. Welcome to the table. Let me know if you need help with character creation.

I mean... maybe? I guess it depends on what kind of game you're looking for.

A couple of my groups are running systems crunchier than a pack of saltines. Not sure I'd let you just jump into that.

You must live in a region where Ribbon Snakes are prevalent.

That's not a pun you beaner faggot.

You could help by carrying him across it.

It's a d100 ball. More of a novelty than a real used die though.

THAT CHEATING CUNT IS PUSHING THE D100! KILL HIM! KILL HIM WITH FIRE!

Yeah sure. What do you know that you can bring to the party?

If the others are cool with it...

I mean, we did have another player that is never showing up now, although I still mantain that 5 people is a lot for a game.

I cast detect magic, does it have anything magical on its person?
I cast eldritch blast

Who the fuck uses those d100 things anyway? Just roll 2D10 like a normal human being.

>Brings his own dice
>Brings his own miniatures
>Brings his own pencil
>Brings his own measuring tools
>Looks clean and hygienic
>Probably doesn't eat too much, won't raid my fridge

>Finds genuine joy in rolling dice
>Is thoughtful, will prevent dice from rolling off the table

Snek can join.

This.

Wud pat.

I would say yes, but my group is online and there might be some size issues with using a computer...most particularly that the little snek is gonna need to get his/her own computer somehow.

Could maybe use my phone as a tablet, but my phone's a piece of shit so that would likely get more frustrating than anything.

Sure, i mean, at least you won't be as noisy as some of my players.

HOPEFULLY

Sure, but you'd better be somewhere I can see you clearly at all times.

No, I'm not accusing you of stealing, I'm a clumsy piece of shit and I want to be sure I won't accidentally sit on you.

Tiny snek persons, seems like.

>Well?

AAAAAAH!!!
AAAAAAAAAHITFUCKINGBTALKS!
AAAAAAAAAH!!

Sure, climb up on my extravagantly feathered hat and you can tell us all about yourself as we meander across the countryside beating-up ruffians.

We already have one largely useless orphan.
...at least this one is cute.

No, not the d100, the things they're holding in the very end of their tail

Sure, go on ahead. I can't see why anyone would disagree.

I'm just sitting here waiting for more images.

The artist is called Ribbon. Old tg drawfag.

...

Ensign SnekBoi first class, maneuver the Mk.1 division to the Western Front. 2 clicks off center if you'd please. Hup hup.

Man i would love to dm for monstro town

Smite!

Only if I can pet you atleast 10 times an hour.

So long as you're willing to pay the hourly rate and don't bother me on my monthly molting.

>"hey, can I play a paladin?"

No, now get back under the table.

>Use an enlargement spell to turn her into a giantess
Now you can

Now why'd you have to go and make it weird?

Holly shit a miniature lamia

I'm high as fuck

We dunn tolerate your kind around here.

ECH, IT'S A SNAKE!

Now, listen me to me now here, a broken mind is a broken kind, you are following me?

Now shoo before I step on you or-- OH MAI GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

Look at it, it'ssocute! WHOOOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAAAAAAAA

[tv static]

Yes, but only if I can lay on hands on you.

Why under? I'd have her dance on the table while we play.

>I'd have her dance on the table while we play.
Dance what?

Cossack dance

How the fuck are we supposed to play then? Idiot.

Well, she kinda is in the right position for that and with that attire it would actually be pretty hot.

>he never played while a succubus dances on the table
Your missing out.

Well never with buds around. Seems gay that way.

>Seems gay that way.
You're gay.

...

I just dislike oggling the same chick with my buds. It's like 1 degree away from a balls touching homo MMF scenario.

Bet I've got more dicks than you do.

>fucking a hot girl
>all he can think about is the other guy
I think maybe the problem isn't the MMF scenario, mein freund.

My tables doesn't descriminate against race, creed, religion, or species.

Except cats.

Why does he have a miniature of himself and a googirl?

Does he want to ERP?

You ever try it? Sex is a big pile of hot sweaty bodies rubbing up against each other.
I draw my line at the ratio of female to male body parts being more then 2:1. Just seems wrong any other way. That way i can stay on my side of the pile and they can stay on their and i can still have 2 hand fulls and still be 1 person away from balls.

A. Do you not have a mini of yourself? Thats....weird.
B. Do you not have mini's of your signature characters?
Bonus:
C. Do you not have signature characters?

>can't just roll their d8s and subtract 4 for 5-8
Don't be a dick, user

OK, but you're aware I run a Magical Realm, right?

I know that artist, this probably has a dick

You say that like its a bad thing.

Agawa draws either girls or traps, he only very rarely draws futas.

>Not being able to play through a fucking earthquake if needs be
Fucking casuals

It's different. Earthquakes don't make everyones brains go empty from blood redistribution.

uwot m8
chan.sankakucomplex.com/?tags=agawa_ryou futanari&commit=Search
One of his recurring characters is a futa with a trap fucboi.

Besides, has pretty visible loincloth bulge. That's a huge dong she's packin there.

>35 pics with futa
>718 without
like I said, he draws way more girls or traps.

Only if he wins a battle against a coconut crab.

A very annoyed and agitated cocunut crab.

Well even build a little colosseum for them.

Why are you so cruel? She just wants to play with you and have fun.

>Implying you don't make ALL your players fight in a battle to the death against an agitated and comparatively large animal.

Play with real men, faggot.

Why wouldnt I throw a sentient person to fight to the death with giant enemy crabs?
Why!?

>comparatively large animal
So you fought a dairy cow?

Have you seen a fucking Coconut crab? A human to dairy cow ain't even close.

Would a succubus be a good player?

High charisma, so yes.

You're going to get real tired of sexual innuendos though.

I won't get tired of sexual innuendo, don't worry.
Im more worried that she will notice that Im horny, succubus probably have some kind of sense for that or they can smell it.

Would you play with a succubus DM?

Yes.

I already play magical realms.

I imagine it would be the most over the top magical realm.

>after realising that the current generation isn't as predisposed to having sex in dreams, succubi have a new idea.
>Decide to run magical game RPG's during dreams instead.

Sign me up.

Could you pun so much that a succubus would stop making sexual innuendo's out of frustration?

>the succubus' magical realm is an escapist mundane fantasy with no lewdness whatsoever, she gets that shit all day at work

Ms.Succubus is the breast player of our group!