ITT: Flavor fails

I mean, it might be big, but it's still just a fucking whale.

>At least my creature still has flying

Pay 1 red mana, or somehow hurt yourself more than the spell will hurt them? Getting stabbed in the chest takes only 1 damage, same as a Hornet Sting.

This fucking guy

It sorta makes sense when you summon a goblin or two, but when a giant wurm and four clones of himself are living on top of him it gets kinda crazy up there.

at least wotc fixed that card

Magic needs to tripple all creatures P/T.

All current 1/1s become 3/3s etc.
Uneven numbers are rounded down.
THEN for rares and mythics you can fiddle with P/T for flavor.
Now 45/45 Emrakul won't be killed by 15 1/1 squirrels.
Ofc life torals needs to be 60.
>new format when?

Including your enemies living up there

No, now she's killed by 23 3/3 squirrels

No tokens remain the same size.
Point of that would be small creatures remains sub 3/3.

I think it's the biggest problem in magic.
P/T and flavor is all fucked up.

I think that's really awful

.... I really don't need to be able to kill someone in 4 turns with a 1 drop

P/T also takes combat prowess into effect, in addition to body. I'm guessing colossal whale is actually a pretty shitty fighter, as he can be taken down by 5 untrained humans with pitchforks (or an equal amount of particularly vicious squirrels), but he can swallow just about anything in his path up to and including eldritch horrors from beyond the boundaries of the universe.

But Emra has protection...?

Don't you have any fresher bait?

This is a game where you can strap three warhammers and a magic broadsword to a parrot and call it a valid strategy.

This is a game where it takes two trained soldiers to kill a housecat, and one of them will die in the process.

This is a game where "murder" is more mana-intensive than a jet of pure necromantic energy.

Try not to sweat the fluff too much.

Can I just say, i love thinking about shit like this.

>slapping ghost armor and a crown on a two- legged swamp frog is a good idea
>counter everything while a crazed insect wizard beats face.
>where the first question when facing down any creature is, "Can I kill it with lightning?"

Seriously, we play a really ducked up game.

You might want to try Kangaroo Court/Flavor Judge variant. Basically you get a neutral third (or fourth or fifth or whatever for multiplayer games) party to basically sit there and watch the gameplay. You can propose technically illegal things, or make a motion to "rule" a technically legal thing ILLEGAL, based on flavor. For example, you could propose that Pin to the Earth should remove Flying, or that your opponent can't equip Lightning Greaves to a creature without feet. You and your opponent make your 'flavor' arguments, and the Flavor Judge issues a ruling and you play on.

Why would I do that? I like the fucked up stuff we can do. I can give a doge three swords and some boots. I can raise a bunch of zombies by stabbing myself in the head. One of my favorite guys literally flings monsters at other monsters.

Look, some of the flavor is great and all, but when an inventor, a magical top, and the ability to see the future can help a dragon can set fire to the whole table, I think flavor goes out the window.

No, I agree- the goofy shit is totally fun if you think about it from that angle.

Just, sometimes it's also fun to play the Flavor Judge variant and watch how you have to think differently when you can use 'logic' to change how cards work.

they fucked Pharika over pretty hard

I don't think that's a flavor fail the way this other stuff is, so much as her abilities just don't really connect with her lore.

and Karona too

If it were just "target card" it would be much better. Still bad, but better.

Blue has like a variety of 7+/7+ krakens/leviathans/sea monsters to choose from

Swallow mechanic is okayish but for 7 mana in a color that usually has like 9/9 krakens round that CMC, weak

Why not just make it a +1/+1 counter? Damn thing is 5 mana already

P/T is exponential.

>large enough to have city on it's back
>7/5 and no trample

Ravnica is entirely made up of city, my dude. Any sized behemoth would have bits of city on it.

Aye, but how many whales? 4, and this is joint largest. Sure you can get bigger leviathans but for whales the lore is established

Nigga Karona is at the helm of my favorite EDH deck. Pillowfort up and make it so you cant shoot me then put a gun in your hand and force you to shoot your friend in the face.

>Art depicts as a gargantuan monstrosity capable of leveling the entire world
>In a plane where Power 5 or greater matters
>4/2

Whats even worse is that Knight of the White Orchid was going to have this effect as a 2WWRR creature but changed it to a 2/2 and tacked it to this guy.

>No tokens remain the same size.
So "Midget retarded goblin" defeats bears?

>
This is a game where you can strap three warhammers and a magic broadsword to a parrot and call it a valid strategy.
New Unglued set WHEN?

1 damage is enough to kill a standard soldier

...

But why the Phyrexian mana?
Also 1 damage is always hilarious. A simple songbird can potentially kill someone.

Logarithmic, you mean.

Okay, but where in the book was changing sides and attacking (causing buffs) a thing she did?

That art is heavily stylized. It's not really that big.

>why the phyrexian mana
Because they needed a one mana burn spell in phyrexian mana and it's a phyrexian doing the gut stabbing.

llanowar elves are 1/1. infiltrator is a 2/2
So, stands to reason it is twice as big

>there will never be bible verses on magic cards again

I can deal with that

user, pls.

A hornet sting will kill a soldier.

Goddamn I want to Cloudshift one of those with the ETB trigger on the stack, after a boardwipe.