Entire party is humans

youtube.com/watch?v=Ivk3NGbT1E4

>put them in a slightly darkened room
>tpk because they can't even see what's attacking them now

Shame the party didn't have an elf or something to help direct their defence but whatevs.

"humans a best" is truly a motto to die for.

Put them through ancient dwarven and elven ruins of course.
Better hope you got knowledge on that shit boys.

Take advantage of the opportunity to do arcs involving infiltration (or even just high-society socializing) which would be difficult if not impossible to do with non-human characters in the group.

This. Less Tolkien more Connan.

Exactly.
>What do you mean I can't be a half ooze half Minotaur fey touched alchemist/boar totem barbarian?
>It's essential to my character concept!

Realize race isn't your entire identity and keep playing?

But that wasn't really a 'humans a best', it's a 'not everything is known' situation to improve world building and allow for more exploration.

This.
THIS.

Start worshipping Zarus

I like your style.

torches

Bonus Feat into Blind Fight
Bow before the Bonus Feat

>waste a feat on blind-fight
>not just getting the wizard to cast light

>not just going full berserker and hitting everyone around you

Tell 'em they've all got a strange rash.

>I cast light
>I pull out a torch/lantern
b-but muh low light vision

Magical darkness

Low light vision is shit anyway, darkvision or bust.

It's in an antimagic field.
Also: it's raining. Like omg so much rain. Can't start your torches because of all the rain.
As a matter of fact the fight is underwater.

Wait, you're telling me my players would have to think about supplies before walking into ancient tombs?! Nevermind then.

We might as well solve all the players problems by giving them magic powers.

Then low light vision does nothing.
Elves don't have darkvision unless you're a dirty drow.
>antimagic field underwater
so everyone drowns because their water breathing items/spells don't work?

>Elves don't have darkvision
And this is why elves are shit. If you're gonna have special vision, then low-light vision isn't what you go looking for.

Stop trying to move the goal post because three anons gave you answers to your question. I thought you fuckers were suppose to be getting ready for school.

>so everyone drowns because their water breathing items/spells don't work?
I have never thought of this before. Thank you very much.

I run the campaign as normal, except scrap any plot hooks for non-human party members.

I tend to have a list of playable races, which is usually static.

I usually hope for a nice balance between all of the races since sometimes a good BBEG could play off a certain race but sometimes a mono-race party is good too.

>negotiate with the clan chief
What do you talk with rats too? The only course of action is extermination.
Or are your orcs lovable nomads, who just want hugs?

Apparently we fuck, yeah?

>can't fight basilisk because can't look at it
>blind-fight
>invisible enemies
>blind-fight
>Don't want to look at that 1/10 ugly bitch but you have to knock that bitch up as per the deal
>Blind-fight

>basilisk
Mirror.
>invisible enemies
Glitterdust. Alternately, flour.
>1/10 ugly
Polymorph it.

>trap dumps the characters into a pitch black room
>they hear hissing and scraping of claws on stone
>make a point out of how hard it is to light a lantern using touch alone
>make them fumble as they frantically try to make fire
>finally they succeed
>"you see a basilisk"

Good times.

You monster

>We might as well solve all the players problems by giving them magic powers.

As I didn't prepare "Sense Sarcasm" today I'll take that at face value and not smite you down where you stand.

Everyone knows the best Orcs are Scythians or Picts
The downside, though, is you'll eventually get someone who wants to be Orc Eumenes of NotCarta, though that's less of a problem if they spend most of their time letting the Human NotAlexander get the majority of the spotlight

Bawlin'. But there are only 6 in that picture.

Correction: there are only five.

That was the wrong reaction image, and now I feel like a dick.

4!

It always annoyed me that that is the best production photo of the group and they are missing a guy.

I see what you did there.

>NotCarta

Rape and pillage,
the elven village!

Roast some orc,
cause it tastes like pork.

Outdrink halfling, gnome and dwarf
until all shorties drown in barf.

Smack and enslave some dragonborn
to produce some lizard porn.

Sorry, the books I first read phonetically spelled Cardia as Carta, and unfortunately that's kinda stuck in my brain

>Outdrink dwarf

You fucked up the rhythm from the second stanza onward. 0/10, see me after class.

Why are human players so edgy? How underage are they?

Short answer: Contrarians on Veeky Forums like to shitpost. There is no stopping them.

Long answer: People on Veeky Forums are given a golden opportunity to discuss tabletop games and tabletop game settings without ever actually needing to show their understand of mechanics or the settings themselves. Often, you'll find people who are so desperate to get discussion going that they'll imagine a setting and insist that it applies to all settings, and other people will either join in on their delusions or falsely apply it to existing settings. So, you get a number of people who religiously subscribe to memes they half-remember from discussions on misinterpreted rules and lore.

Jesus fucking Christ, leave this board, you are too reasonable.

Pretty sure that's my Gm's wet dream with his HFY boner always waging. Everything and anything of importance is something related to humans.

>species reaches maturity before hitting a century

Humans are literally the underagedb& race, and clearly only played by edgelord pedoelves or dwarves with giantess-loli fetishes.

>no it's okay that my merely 40 year old PC is slutting up in every tavern we go into, they reach sexual maturity at age 18!

I proceed with my low magic fantasy campaign with all martials and no fantast races as planned. I'm glad my players listened to me and were up for that

Remind them that humans are NPC-only in Engine Heart, and make them redo their characters.

>Reaching maturity before hitting two millennium.
Dragons are literally the underagedb& race, and clearly only played by edgelord pedoscales or kobolds with macrophilia fetishes.

>no it's okay that my merely 300 year old PC is kidnapping every princess in the kingdom, they reach sexual maturity at 19!

*190, I fucked up

Well I mean, if they wanna dress slutty. I don't wanna hear anybody bitch about Rape.

What the fuck are "elven glyphs"? You do know that elves have a dozen different text systems spanning across their multiple civilizations, and drow text is nothing like what the high elves scribe. That's like asking if I know how to write in human.

Darkvision on 3/4 of the PHB races is boring anyway. I houserule it so only Drow, Dwarves, and Teiflings have it, that way darkness is actually something you can't just ignore most of the time.

It's easy to write in human, you just burn a forest down and then make a couple of bullshit chickenscratch lines with the bleached bones of the forest spirits you've displaced on the wall of a cave like you're some kind of parody of a dwarf.

>torches

How about lanterns. They've been around since forever. They have coverings so you can carry them in the rain. It's not exactly super hi-tech stuff.

Thirded.

Wh-what is that hand gesture trying to convey?

>the party consists of a hairdresser, a chef, and a wizard

Sounds about right.

send in some orcs for snu snu

Add a gimp for the mandatory rope. Never leave without rope

This is what I did with my all Wood Elf party. I am adding a human barbarian to the party shortly (i think) and they will be moving from their Elf Wood home to explore the rest of the world on a larger quest.

I look forward to it.

Let me guess your playing dark heresy?
Typical that guy

Put them in a cave, don't give them light. Laugh

>"...and smashes his halberd down through your shoulder, dropping you to -1 HP, and you die."
>"What the fuck GM, shouldn't I just be downed? Faggot fiat horseshit making me rero-"
>"You didn't let me finish."

>Invade, conquor, enslave and rule!

>Engine Heart
Damn I've always wanted to play that.
Warforged official stats in 5E when, my DM keeps using 3.5 and 4e limitations because otherwise my PC is apparently 'too powerful'

You're in space and there is no oxygen.
What now?

Glow sticks.

I die, just like any race that comes equipped with dark vision would.

Now I'm just imagining a fabulous and wealthy wizard travelling the world with his personal chef and hairdresser so that he can look his best while he alters reality itself.

>Make the other races seem really mysterious and distant, make it feel weird for someone not to be human.
But what if
>Make humans seem really mysterious and distant, make it feel weird for someone to be human

Could it work?

But it isn't dark in space. There is always light there.

Actually would a modron die if you dropped one into a vacuum?

They're constructs so, maybe? Would your computer work if you put it in space? They could have oil or other fluids that can freeze, or if they're watertight they might decompress, there are plenty of ways a machine can cease to function in space. It all depends on the internal mechanisms.

Fuck her hand. Whats that under the bed?

Do they breathe? Y/N

Me.