Mages Guild: New Semester Edition

Hear ye, hear ye. I hereby call to order this meeting of the most illustrious Mages Guild! Now it seems very few of you noticed but there was supposed to be Summer Vacation for the students until just recently. Frankly it seems like everyone was too busy to notice what time it was, and as such our summer population was higher than it normally is, as were the damages caused by having so many students with magical powers around. This has caused a strain on funds that you need to find a solution to or there will be cuts in the budgets of all departments. Also, seeing as there is a new semester we're going to have another influx of new students coming in, I hope everyone is prepared to accept them because if one more student come by my office asking for directions then spells will fly.

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Well, a lot of students needed remedial courses. What else can you do?

Whoa whoa whoa. The students get time off? I though I could just keep them in the classroom indefinitely as long as they didn't die, or fail the class.

I mean, you're not allowed to hold them forever.

You have to let them go if they pass the class, as well.

Really? But then Iose half the class!

Flunk them right into the dimension of failures from whence they came!
You're not the only one. I guess time flies when half the guild is casting spells that give time wings.

Fair enough.

>Groans

How is this place even low on funds? Can't some of us here literally transmute gold?

Primal magic > Arcane magic

Unfortunately, that damn alchemist's guild keeps coming up with counterfeit-detection chemicals to see if our gold was summoned forth from the aether. Hate those guys.

Clearly you've never dealt with accountantmancers.

Get the fuck out of here, you druids have your own circle to pester people from.

>Walks in
Good thing I have my department in proper order.
Now, when was the last time you guys asked for donations from royalty?

It's not technically a donation when the royalty in question signs my paycheck, right?

Well clearly we need to find a solution or otherwise I'll actually have to leave my labs to find ingredients which will interrupt my teachings and studys.

Have we tried throwing skeletons at the problem? I find they solve most problems.

Almost never, I just get paid by them for killing shit and then I sell the stuff of the people who got killed. That combined with the...turnover, keeps the admittedly small Spellblade department in the green

People kept complaining we were disrupting the local economy.
You guys a re missing out on the joy of creating things not meant to be.

Tell you what, get me a list of what you need and I'll look for it on my next expedition for a lower price than the regular sources.

No, it most certainly isn't.
I meant the Guild as a whole, not individual departments.
Because I know for a fact we can ask for some money from the Saint Drache Empire.

Oh.

Then not any time recently.

Then that's what we should do.
Ask for donations from countries and empires.
Else just get rid of all the departments that can't stay in the green on their own.

Now hold up there. Lets not go putting ourselves into anyone's debt.

I'm pretty sure that's extortion and people have started wars with us over that.

Ummm, excuse me professors, but should we be worried about that 30 story golem that's headed straight for the school? It doesn't look like it's friendly.

What?
>Looks out the window at the golem
Did someone forget to tell golemancy not to be a bunch of asshats?

Debt? I believe that the donations would be debts paid to us.
Extortion? Which part?

Its probably one of the others experiments nothing to be worryed about.

Sorry, most of the time when people here say "Ask for donations" they mean "Threaten people until they give us money."

Then that would be taking payment for services rendered, Glug, not asking for donations. If we start asking kingdoms for donations, they'll have a way to control what we do that'll actually work instead of laws we don't pay attention to.
And that's a very dangerous thing.

That depends, did the people in charge of charging the guild's defences do their job or not?

No, I wouldn't suggest that.
Even though that would work.
Look, I'm just giving suggestions. This in no way affects me because as the representative of an Adventurers' Guild I am supported by said Adventurers' Guild.
If you don't like it think of something else.

Ugh, just perfect. Not even halfway into the first day here and I'm already about to be killed horribly.

Maybe mom was right and I really should have gone to Enchanting school first. I'm never trusting Cindy ever again, bitch isn't even here today.

>Chuckles
Of course it would, we're us.

Enchanting school? And done what afterwards? You want to toil away making enchanted stuff for the actual cool people and not getting any credit?

What are you complaining about?

Wait, there's an adventurer's guild?
Don't worry, you might die but if you don't think of all the experiences you'll get!

Yep.
Do you have any alternative suggestions?
There are hundreds of Adventurers' Guilds. Just like there are hundreds of Mages' Guild.
Of course this one is the best known for being the oldest and technically the most successful.
And the Adventurers' Guild of Midway Island is currently one of the more successful Adventurers' Guilds.
Though Lurco's groups always tend to be successful.

Just stay in the main hall and you should be fine.
Excuse me, do you happen to have any rats? You necromancers always have rats.

I dunno, we could try selling the services of our students? I've got a decent number of upperclassmen who need on-the-job experience.

Why would I carry live rats on my person?

Do you ever stop complaining Diana? Stop embarrassing the family in front of the entire school!
Sorry, that's my cousin. She's a teenage woman, all they know how to do is bitch and complain.

Professor Doomblight! A pleasure to see you again sir! I was in your Introduction to Necromagics course last semester. How have you been?

Huh, never thought of applying for one of them. I mean, what are the benefits?
There's a giant attacking.
Kill yourself, fuccboi.

In case you ever need one?
>a rodent pops out of a pocket
You never know when you need a small critter for something.

That sounds good.
Though I have already provided my successful students with jobs.
So she's just complaining for the sake of complaining?
Well that won't do.
Well, we have great insurance policies, access to various materials you might need.
Discounts on items made by other guild members.
And- wait, there's a giant attacking?

I've been well. I look forward to seeing more of you this semester, you were one of the better-behaved students last semester.

...

I have skeletons.
>Is suddenly flanked by a pair of skeletons
>Wearing bowties

You also have a lot fewer students.

Are you sure thats a good idea sending inexperienced students out there? I recall students are the reason for the funding problem due to damages over summer.
Nonsense, it looks like it'll take hours until it reaches the school. In which case someone will destroy it by then. Unless everyone forgets and I'll just warm up my undead army from storage.

Well, it's technically a golem and it's 30ft tall.
That's why she was complaining.

True.
Oh.
Are we going to let the guild building handle it or should we?

Very classy.
How about you then? Do you have any magically charged rodents you could donate to my research?

I have a fuccboi, does that count?

No, I don't think I can use that for my research.

Not all students, just the good ones who need real-world experience.

Thank you.

So, have we agreed on what we should do in regards to the Guild's lack in finances?
Also, are we going to let the guild building take care of the giant golem approaching or should we?

I do hope we won't have to deal with it.

I'll take care of it for you!
Don't ask how I got here.

I'LL CAPTURE IT AND FINALLY BE ABLE TO DESTROY THOSE PESKY PALADIN RANGERS!

Well we could take up Doomblights idea and force the students take up magical jobs in the real world. I'm sure were breaking a labor law there but who cares honestly?
Did someone leave a portal open to here? But go ahead and fight it, I'm sure it'll be a show.

No no, it's fine.
Don't trouble yourself, kid.
Oh, Rita, you being here gives me a good idea.
I could transform and go ultra size.
I haven't ultra sized since I've had your spell fixed.
And the proceeds would go directly to the guild?

MAGIC WAND
MAKE MY KNIGHT GROW!

I said don't ask! And I can totally beat it. Better than any of you mages at least.
Oh. Well, I'm still here, and I can take it on.

Of course it would, otherwise there no Point in doing so. Unless some of the people start abusing the income coming in then we'll have to deal with that.
Sure, sure, think what you will of your power. We'll be here watching the show.

AHH, WOAH HEY WOAH!
>She starts growing, everything growing with her.
THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AGAIN!

WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU DOWN THERE!

Oh, never mind.
Hey, don't fling insults, kid.
Hm, that sounds good.
But I've already got my work ready students jobs.
I'd rather not rob them of their income for the sake of other departments.

GOOD, NOW CAPTURE THAT GOLEM SO I CAN USE IT TO DESTROY THOSE PALADIN RANGERS ONCE AND FOR ALL!

IT WASN'T AN INSULT! I'M FROM THE FIGHTERS GUILD!
CAPTURE IT? WITH WHAT? I DON'T HAVE A NET OR ANY ROPE OR ANYTHING!

You aren't the only one who can do that! Grow my creation, grow!

Hey, your monster grower spell can only make them around 40 to 50 meters, right?
You made an insulting assumption that I haven't taken down giant golems before!

KNIGHT, CHANGE OF PLANS
FIGHT THAT BOAR!

Oh look, now I need to clean my robes with all the roof dust that fell.
Most of my students have nothing better to do anyways, so they'll be going regardless.

BUT I BET THE FIGHTER'S GUILD HAS TAKEN DOWN MORE!
SORRY!
UH, BOAR!
>She looks at her sword before crouching down in front of the boar, holding it extended.

BRING IT ON! My girl has yet to be beaten in a one-on-one fight!
>the boar snorts angrily but doesn't approach
Are you sure you want to wrestle with Daisy here? She can be quite a handful once she gets going.

>Yo

Hm, how about we just threaten to close down all departments that can't support themselves?
Obviously we should give them a week to gather enough funds to support themselves first.
Than one individual? Yes, I'm sure it has, but do not go about making rude assumptions.

WRESTLE? PROBABLY NOT! I SORTA JUST WANT TO BRUSH HER BRISTLES!
OKAY, OKAY, SORRY!

Yes but that would probably result in the smaller departments imploding under the monetary pressure. Which would be alot of departments.

Also should we stop that golem? The buildings defenses haven't activated yet for some reason and everyone else is mucking about.

I CAN GET QUITE A FEW STORIES OUT OF IT
STAB THE BOAR, YOU HAVE A SWORD AND SHIELD!

BUT I DON'T WANT TO! IT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO ME!
>Looks around.
AND JUST A SWORD!

Good.
True.
And I'll try and stop the golem. However, it's about 90 meters and I can only get up to 45 meters.
Then send the kid along with me, it may take both me and her to take it down.

>A belt appears which has a single strap around connecting to a large belt buckle of some sort with a strange orb in the center
>Gluglobul places his left hand on the side of the belt bringing his right arm across to cover his chest
HeeeeennnSHIN!
>Gluglobul brings his right arm forward and a flash of green light bursts from the strange orb!
>The green light envelopes the Sea-Elf and forms into a suit of smooth green armor with a black underlayer.
> The armor is composed of a chestplate, shoulder pads, gauntlets, boots, and a strange helmet resembling a krakens head with acid dripping from it.
Dengen Senshi Bituman!

Sir the other skeletons are threatening to unionize

AHHHH YOU'RE NO HELP! GO HELP THE BLUE MAN FIGHT THE GOLEM!

For what reason exactly? And how did enough of them gain enough sentience to get the concept of unions?

THIS IS THE WEIRDEST DAY SINCE RED GOT KIDNAPPED BY MOLES!
>She follow along, shifting her sword into a low guard.

A couple of seniors gave them sentience as a prank this summer

>He leaps out of the guild
Ultraaaaa SIZE!
>In mid-air he draws a large U with his hands and glows
>He grows to be 45 meters tall before he lands

perhaps before turning undead they read the pamphlet the church was handing out on the treasures of paradise.

No they just want funny hat's and one Saturday off a month

Well that means I wont have to wake them up to mobilize atleast. Just get them and the rest if the undead out there to face the golem. Tell them they can have those measly demands. Also do a school announcement so the students dont panic when they start flooding the halls to get outside.

*heads outside* oi m8s he said we can get our demands if we best 's golem. FORM MECHA SKELETON!

Why don't we just hug the golem?

If we give them hats they'll start getting into magic and the whole guild could be at risk.

OH, I LIKE THAT IDEA!

Seriously we need to make it stop. We can't just let it smash all the plants underneath it when it walks!

*mecha skeleton walks to golem* leave now

Now just make sure you try not to destroy anything. If you do granny nature will be very angry.

Hey guys, sorry I'm late, one of my redrobes had a practical exam I had to proctor. I think he might be going somewhere with it if that golem he made was any indication.

Hey cutie, how are you today?

THAT GOLEM?
>She points at the giant golem still approaching the guild.

I'm fairly sure that golem was sold last month. Command words would be the easiest way to put an end to the conflict. besides if I'm not mistaken it seems to be delivering fertilizer for the reagents garden.

Hello everyone!
Sorry Im late, I think I missed the last meeting as well.
The new Forbidden Artifact disarming classes will start soon. I've managed to collect around 40 of those old Anarakian Biolandmines. Should be a fun experiance for all. Bring safety glasses.

Uhm...yeah, that looks like it. But it wasn't that big before - like half that. What happened?

Hell, what happened to you?

About to get a lot worse if this ends up meaning what I think it does.

I'm a bit disappointed it hasn't been dealt with yet. We have THREE giants out there people made and none have actually engaged it yet.

*puts golem in full nelson

*Loud groaning*

SOME LADY WITH A WEIRD HAT MADE ME HUG! I'LL GET SMALL SOON, I THINK!