Inquisitorial Penal Regiment Veeky Forums: Nobody expects the Imperial Inquisition Edition

Alright people! We need to have a SERIOUS fucking talk about what you can, and can't do, when an Inquisitor from another Ordo is Infront of you. One of those being: YOU DON'T START FIRING INTO A MEXCIAN STAND OF BETWEEN TWO OF THEM!!!

NOW.... With that being said. You'll all have plenty of time to think about your actions while we're in the warp.
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Steam Group: steamcommunity.com/groups/40k_penal_regiment.

FAQ:
>What the fuck is this?
Somewhat a campaign of crack-infused free-form roleplay in the grim darkness of the far future.

>When do you guys make these threads?
Usually mondays at 4PM GMT, but they sometimes extend to Tuesdays if we got caught in the middle of something when the thread died and it was too late to make another one the same day.

>Can I join in?
Sure, just think of a character and have fun, you can find most info in 1d4chan albeit it's ussually a little bit out of date in comparison to where the threads are.

>Is there any requirement in character creation.
Not really, we've had Xeno infiltrators, Chaos infiltrators, Villains, Heroes, Normal Guardsmen, Crazed Guardsmen, Assassins, Psykers, Space Marines, Inquisitors, Squats... just think whathever and join the fun.

>Is it allowed to have more than a single character?
Yes as long as you don't use it to powerplay.

>So how you guys do the playan'?
We tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, but nothing is set in stone.
We tend to use greentexts for describing a character's actions, but again nothing is set in stone.
Use d20s for combat checks and d100s for other things you want to roll, higher Is better.
It's important to know that the regiment is now in the employ of a radical Ordo Xenos Inquisitor, with influence from an Ordo Malleus Inquisitor and under the watch of an Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor. Yes we've been through a lot of shit.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=VoIO80N5pcg
youtube.com/watch?v=AJyQw3WcBT4
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

>sits in the interrogation chamber and taps the desk

>Oddball sticks his head out of the hatch to peer at Malak.
Hang on, you guys did -what-? Emperor's Teeth man! Why?!

Higgs: We fought and killed for the emperor

That's not what he said, I think he -did- imply that standoffs are bad. I sort of agree.

Stride: There was no standoff, the came in, we saw a heretic, we killed it

>simulates a pistol with his fingers, mouthing a silent "pow"

>He'd bash the mans head against the desk. The most horrific look of anger a human could possibly ever have, is displayed across the Captains face.

Do you have, ANY. Idea what youvr just caused!?! DO YOU!?!
>He'd bash peepers face against the desk once again out of pure anger.

ANY IDEA AT ALL!?! NO!? WELL LET ME TELL YOU SERGEANT!

>Malak would be silent for a moment. His breathing heavy and loud; his face flushed red with anger.

What you, and your little band of misfits have donr, sergeant.... is pissed of an Inquisitor! Oh but not just any Inquisitor, no sir! You.managed to piss off the Inquisitor who's family is not only friends with many of our higher up; buts who's family has its fingers involved with every major function of the Imperium!

Do you know what that means Peepers!?

>He'd cast a glance similar to that of an angry wolf about to devour a cornered rabbit.

SHUT. UP!

Only have a moment to play right now so I'll just leave Vic busy somewhere.
>Is at oddball's tank, viewing movies with the crew.

>lifts his head off the table and fixes his eye

Sir, would you rather proceed with the question "why did you do it?"
>groans and pulls out a loose tooth

Give me One! Good reason, why I should not only demote you down to private. But why I shouldn't put a Bolt round through your fucking skull!
>He'd press his pistol against the soldiers head to emphasize the point.

One reason at all... and your better make it a good one trooper. Because your life... It fucking DEPENDS on it!

And, by any chance, was there anyone who was also there, who didn't know the Heretic -was- one at the time, who said to not do this?

>sighs trough his nose

The last order from you was "Wait 30 minutes and then leave" we were at the transport, Victoria proceeded to call you and i overhead you say "we have a situation" so, presuming you ran into resistance we came with itnention to help..

We entered, saw a mutant and i did what i expected to when i joined the guard

"I" Didn't do anything, sergeant! "I", am the one who has to try and FIX THIS!

"YOU" , are the one, who caused this!

That little stand off, was going to happen. But the after results, could easily have been avoided! All you had to do, was follow my orders, and stay with wing commander Rider on the ship. That's all you had to do!

>He'd let out a sigh before continuing.

But instead, you put not only our little group in danger. You put the ENTIRE regiment, at arms against the Inquistion!

>Turns around to face him and the boltgun

I wanted to help you

>Shows her head up
I'm hearing you all from Oddball's tank, did someone say regiment at arms against the inquisition?

So you agree that you not only disobeyed my orders, but that you did indeed, fire into an Inqusitorial stand off. Great!

>He'd kick the mans chair, out from under him. Causing his chin to hit the metal table before him REAL hard.
>Malak would then pick him up rather roughly by his uniforms collar, before speaking through clenched teeth into his ear.

As of this moment, I am not only releaving you of command. But I am demoting your ass back to private.
>He'd let go of the mans collar at this point, before standing up and making his way towards the door.

And the next time you do something as STUPID, as that. I will not only beat you unconscious, but I will throw your ass out the Airlock! DOWN I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!!!
>He'd huff out a breath, before smoothing out the wrinkles in his uniform, and then leaving.

>"Aye Vic, that's what they said. I don't quite know how they managed it.....might as well return to the movie."

Something about a Standoff?

>gets up and dusts off his clothes

So are you going to just walk away?
Or do you not have the balls to deal with this properly?

>rubs his chin

>Hed let out a sigh, before nodding.

Unfortunately, yes. after Peepers left the shuttle to come "help us", he pulled the biggest stunt I've ever heard of. He got between an Inqusitorial stand off, between 95, myself, and Inquistior Alice Wellesley, and one of her personal dogs...

>the men loot at eachother and disband the group, with no head they have nothing to hold them together

Do. Not. Talk. To. Me! I now have to explain to Admiral Sternbridge why I requested we make a randomized jump through the Warp! And he is NOT, going to be happy about it!

You know, if it's on the inquisition, it hardly can be a dog...

Also, I'm glad you came out safe...

Yeah better go back to the movies... this is too deppressing...

Malak!
Dont you walk away from me, you better do what you are meant to do!
>is furious

You are allways hiding in that big armor of yours or in the pants of the female crewmembers, now it's time for you to show your manhood and better use that COLD gun of yours!

>rips out his bionic eye and throws it at him

!!??

>Before she could leave. He would grab her by the wrist, and would pull her into a tight embrace.
>Something wet seems to be streaming down the sides of his face.

Thanks.... for not giving up and leaving me there Vic....

Wing Commander, I want a full after-action report when you are finished here.

"Commander...i suggest...we relax now...no need for violent...actions"

>Oddball will remember this.

>"Mhm, it's getting to the good parts."

>Oddball looks down at the clanking coming from within his Tank.
I'm.......not even going to question how you managed that, given that we've put the Hammerhead through some tight spaces ourselves.

>"You are sort of blocking the screen though."
>It is Anya that says this.

>Hugs back.
Listen I know you are mad for having to be mad with your own men... but a good leader doesn't need to torture his own, ok? Just the demoting was already painful enough, the moment you have to yell at an argument, you've already lost it.

>Let's go of Malak.
>Stands in formation.

Y-yes sir!

I have it right here.

>Shows datapad.

As you can see, they encountered Adept Novus and... that necron-like thing... The Adept changed into somekind of Xeno and they blasted their way out with it... it latched onto the ship but we managed to break free from it, we believe it died in space, probably attracted to the sun by the gravity.

>Turns to Anya
I'm coming...

"'Ello again'"

>He'd ignore the mans snide remarks about his actions with the female members of the regiment. Knowing that not only were they untrue. But that it was not worth arguing with the man.

S-sorry!
>He'd move out of the way of the screen. A little embarressed by it.

I'll let you lads be! Enjoy your movie!

>He'd give a small nod, before standing at attention for

Gotta go

Is there any chance that the Herald is salvageable?

>walks past him
You dissapoint me.

>to the armory, looking for his former squad

Unlikely, Sir! Right before my men and I escaped, a critical failure occurred within the ship, causing it to explode. My men and I barely had time to blow a hole in the hull, and allow the explosive decompression to get us out.

>"It's getting to the best part."

Hey Gazbah, how you been?

>"Eh, it's.....cool, just erm...that Power Armour isn't exactly the smallest model in the Galaxy, eh?"
>Anya seems a bit more subdued, which she attributes to empathizing with the Empire in the movie.

>Stops him again
"PRIVATE...May I have a word...with you

>Ignores him and enters the armory

>Gears up in recruit gear, lasgun las pistol and a long range vox

>walks into the docks, boarding a transport ship

"Grounded, sir, ferz smashin mr' mustache manz on the danz floor"
>he pulls out a heavy caliber plasma gun
"But I'z found dis!"

"DO YOU STILL...WANT TO BE A PRIEST...PRIVATE"

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>uses victoria's authenticals and starts up the ship
>he whistles to himself

>lifts off and goes full spped trough the void shields
>roll to pass trough

We're in the warp right now.

>The ship passes trough the void shields damaged and gets lost in the maw of the warp unprotected

You forgot to open the hanger... also where did you get her authentication codes!? Also, where do you learn to fly?and where are you expecting to go!?! Ins the middle of open space out there! Not to mention demons!

rolled 95 to pass

"By...the Imperium..."
>runs towards Malak
"COMMANDER..."

>His eyes would be wide open as he watched the last half of it

I see it.... but I honestly don't want to believe it....

>Oddball eyes the weapon with concern.
How....where did you find -that-?

>it sings trough the shields
youtube.com/watch?v=VoIO80N5pcg

"Shoot...him...DOWN...He will bring unwated attention!"

"Next to a chomped man....he seemz to 'ave tried to defend 'imself from someffin chompy...silly man was too small"

Dammit! He's already gone, And there's no way we'll find him, even if he did somehow survive!

>his stare...you can feel it looking into your soul behind that metal mask
"Your men are swine and...mad men...AND YOU...can't keep them in line!'
>breathes heavily

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>A rocket goes off into the warp
>Rolling for getting pass the void shields

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>Rolling for finding Peepers in the sea of the warp

this went about as well as a child wanting to taste dog shit... horrible.

"The only...reason i hid my identity is BECAUSE I suspected HERESY...there is no heresy...the reason for your failures...IS INCOMPETENCE!"
>clenches his fist

HOW DID THIS FILTH LEAK IN HERE FROM /QST/ ?

>Pokes head out of tank

Jaemis: "Jimmy, I told you never to fucking fire when someone randomly says fire!"

Jimmy: "Sorry, boss."

Holdrin: "Well it didn't matter anyway, I bet we didn't hit shit."

>Jaemis shakes his head

Jaemis: "Well I hope you're happy, Jim, because that shot is gonna come out from your paycheck."

>Malak would facepalm. He would facepaln HARD, at hearing this.

Great... this must be Augus' replacement.... just fucking perfect...

>he doesn't know we've been here every week for years

>See's the Captain
>Instant Salute

Jaemis: "Commander! Artillery Expert Jaemis and crew reporting for duty! Salute, boys!"

*Clank*
*Clank*

Jimmy: "Watch it, Holdrin!"

Holdrin: "How about you watch it, you little shit!?"

Jimmy: "Oh its on!"

>Scuffle ensues within the Tank
>Jaemis Sighs

Jaemis: "Sorry Commander, one moment."

>Jaemis goes back into tank
>Scuffle gets louder

>He'd let out a sigh, rubbing the spot that he'd been punched by the Inquisitor.

Sometimes, I wish that Jackson had left me on Somerius.... maybe then I'd be happy...

"And...how did you...get here....exactly?"

Are you asking me... or them?

Because for these morons, I'm pretty sure they were some of the newbies we requisitioned upon returning to Bakka...

forgot to add
>while shaking his hand from the hit

>Scuffle dies down
>Holdrin and Jimmy's heads pop out of the tank, saluting.

Jimmy and Holdrin: "Reporting for duty, commander!"

>Their heads disappear, and Jaemis takes their place

Jaemis: "Do you have any orders, Commander?"

Jaemis: "We sent here as requisition from the minotorum on Bakka, sir!"

Munitorum*

No orders for now troopers. We're still in the warp after all. Just don't be firing anymore shells for now.

Jaemis: "Yes Sir!"

>Goes back into Tank and closes top hatch

Jimmy: "Look, I'm sorry!"

Holdrin: "You still made us look like idiots to the commander!"

Jaemis: "Alright you two, shut up already and get back to cleaning this place."

>Mumbling dies down

So....uh....what exactly do we do now then? Aside from watch movies and drink all the Amasec we can drink?

>snores and tosses in his sleep, rolls out of the transport that arrived from the herald, hitting the ground

>wakes up

Zog!

>looks around

Rolled 28 (1d100)

>waddles to the tank and climbs inside, looking for alcoholic beverages

>Drinks fuel accidentaly and throws up
Zog!

>climbs out of the tank and waddles into the armory

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>belch
Zog off wanka!

>enters the armory and looks for something boomy

"Oi, youz ship's shiny'n all...but iz dere supposed to be a tiny greenie on it, climbin'around?"

I......you......what?! Get back here you little bugger!
>Oddball clambers out of the tank after the Grot and tries to find it, followed by the motley Crew that mans the Hammerhead, but not before Irwin locks the hatches.

>arms itself with a pistol stubber and grenades

>walks past them in a cross section hallway

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>Dashes after him, hoping to grab him by the head
"Shiny little greenie!"

Rolled 9 (1d20)

WAAAAAAAAAAA-
>just barely slips out of the grip

>points the gun at the ork and fires at him while running away

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>In keeping with the fact that they own a Hammerhead, the 6 Crewmen that crew the vehicle carry Pulse Pistols.
Who left the Grenades in the open?! After it!
>The Crewmen continue following the Grot, much more cautiously now.

>The crew duck out of the way of the shots while Oddball returns fire.

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>a bullet goes through his shoulder
>he don't mind
"Let me hug yaz greenie!"
>attempts to hold him both hands

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>he is found, attempts to dash into the vents
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

youtube.com/watch?v=AJyQw3WcBT4

>It has entered the ship proper
>It seeks prey to staunch its eternal thirst
>While it seeks for a lone being, it hears shouting and a shot
>What was once Callidon now stalks the humans from the shadows, the Grot giving it a chance at larger prey

Rolled 6 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>slips and bonks it's head, looks at the monster
>goes balistic
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>shoots and throws grenades in all directions
>+3 for grotty panic luck

Rolled 33 (1d100)

Jimmy: "Boss, why are people yelling?"

>Jaemis opens hatch

"I dont fricking know..."

>Rolling to spot

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>Some of the bullets graze Gazbah
"LET ME HUGZ YOU"
>tries to pull him in

Holdrin: "Didn't they say something about watching movies?"

Jaemis: "Yeah, that might be it."

>Goes back in and closes hatch

Are....are we really -this- bad at killing a single Grot? I mean, I know we usually stick to vehicle weapons, but -come on-.

Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

AAAAAA-
>choking, shoots the orc in the face
>+5 for point blank range

>It hisses quietly and retreats to the vents to keep hidden, and continues stalking the humans

>Hear loud shot

Jaemis: "The Hell are they watching? A war movie? Holdrin, come with me. Jimmy, stay here for a bit."

>Jaemis and Holdrin exit the Leman Russ and go towards the sound, armed with Lasguns

>Jimmy secures the hatch just in case

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>falls down on the floor
>gurgling
>shot in the throat
>as Moxos
"BASTARD"
>runs after him, mask off
>tries to bite his throat off

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>chucks a grenade in his hands, flips him off and bolts it up the airvent
>rolling for damage

Rolled 5, 17 = 22 (2d20)

>Go around the Corner
>See Grot and bleeding Moxos attempting to bite him

Jaemis: "Shit! Open fire on the Xenos!"

>Rolling for attacking Grot

>It follows in the ventilation system, waiting for opportunity to take them by surprise

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>Churchill and Rommel attempt to stop the bleeding while Irwin and Putin run back to the Hammerhead to fetch Pulse Carbines.

>rolling to stop bleeding.

>The blast knocks him back agains the wall
>minor burns
>a broken bone
>he's gone through worse