Flavor text thread

Flavor text thread.

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>The only copy of Obliterate you own is the 8th Edition one with the "funny" flavor text

Feels bad.

This is actually the first time I bothered really looking at the card

best card

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Always M10 Lightning Bolt.

>inb4 Goblin Offensive
>inb4 Mortify

>posts the good Urza/Weatherlight flavortext
>forgets the best one
for what purpose?

excellent taste.

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This one's never posted, and for the life of me, I don't understand why.

It sounds great but I'm not sure what to make of it.

Wot?
The storm, some agent of pain, inflicts harm on the willow by bending it in the wind. The willow, a martyr, endures pain and outlives the storm even in death by virtue of being remembered as one who expired in the name of something he or she believed in.

>outlives the storm
oh, thanks. English is not my first language and I have some trouble with nuance. Pretty great quote actually.

>We will never return to Kamigawa
>We will never be taken home again

Gets me every time.

Stuff like this is why white is my favorite color.

Kamigawa was so good in flavor.

I'm a big fan of this one

Where did all the writers from back then disappear to?

>it will make a way
Uhmmmm rapey much??!?,,,,

>this thread again
I got it. I got it. I-

I like the one that referred to goblin child rearing.

One last spanking is the bae

Shoo Shoo,back to Dumblr with you

>not being able to detect a shitpost/joke
wew lad

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>Scars block flavor text on Mirran cards

reminded me of this

What about bad Flavor Text

>Wandering Ones
Man... that one always hits me hard.

Lava Axe, Mortify, Anguished Unmaking

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>the dwindling number of cards with Mirran watermarks as the sets in Scars block go on
>only 23 with Mirran mark in New Phyrexia
>all the flavor text on the NP ones is bleak and depressing

WEREWOLVES HATE COLLARS, ESPECIALLY AVACYN'S COLLAR, WHICH IS THE SYMBOL OF HER CHURCH WHICH THE WEREWOLVES HATE BECAUSE AVACYN'S FOLLOWERS HATE WEREWOLVES AND HUNT THEM AND MAYBE PUT COLLARS ON THEM WHICH THE WEREWOLVES REALLY DON'T LIKE BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT DOGS, THEY'RE WEREWOLVES AND SO THEY HATE COLLARS, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHICH ARE ASSOCIATED WITH THE ANGEL AVACYN, WHO THE WEREWOLVES DO NOT LIKE.

alrighty, time to figure out a deck that uses this as a wincon. I'm thinking giving my opponent a zillion tokens and using a turbofog base.

Forbidden Orchard, Maze of Ith, Argothian Elder

youtube.com/watch?v=LdDXMG9jvwg

Yeah, but look how hopeful the trailer is.

My all-time favorite.

Damn that's a good trailer.

>only 9 of them are creatures
>3 of those are myr

Gotchu famalam

Thank you.

All those poor myr. They did nothing to deserve what happened to them.

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>They did nothing to deserve what happened to them.
Their father / maker did everything to deserve that and much worse.

That doesn't seem very hopeful to me

And Memnarch got fucked up. The myrs were just sort of there and now they're all almost dead/compleated.

>there's actually a card called borrowing 100,000 arrows

Three Kingdoms was a fun set. Not a strong one, but it was fun.

So what happens when the Phyrexians find the Mirari?

>The struggle is far from over

>The infectors have become the infected.

>Phyrexians: Whispers splinter the mind
>Mirrans: now are one

>Karn is coming

>Mirrans: Savior
>Phyrexians: Destroyer

It's also FUCKING EXPENSIVE AS SHIT

>Imperial Recruiter isn't even an RL card and costs more than most of the list

Something about children's rhymes always gimme the jibbly

Well I like it

Not flavor TEXT, but the flavor on this card is pretty neat.

Also how come Zombies on Mirrodin wear these helmets?

This one is fucking terrible

Ew

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I have some cousins I'd like to put in the cannon.

awful pun flavor text is best flavor text

that was pretty cool, shame we don't get cool shit like that anymore

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I always did like this one

Why does Tsabo Tavoc look like it's strapped to a massive turd

I can't tell if this one is great or awful

Everything is food.

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>He raged against the world, his family, his life. But mostly he just raged

This card's flavor text is creepy as hell and has a whole UR about it

New set already has some pretty decent stuff in my opinion.

Wandering Ones still makes me tear up every time I read it.

Can the Aetherborn fug?

They are hedonistic, but sadly genderless in the truest "probably don't have junk" sort of way.

That sucks.

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What's the word on buttholes?

They probably don't shit since they're basically aether smog elementals. Even if they did have a pooper, it probably wouldn't be pleasurable to be fucked in it.

I never see this one posted. It's one of the few flavor texts that i remember off hand, I love it.

They don't have the prerequisite mouth for that. They either substain on aether or are like running engines, going until they run out of fuel.
Then they crumble.

The mouth it is, then.

That's funny, it's one of the only ones that I can remember off hand that I also hate.

See

>No Mouth
>Looks again
OH COME ON
Gotta settle for an HJ?

I'm sorry user, I'm curious though. what do you hate about it? I think it's a pretty cool verse that's fitting given the creature it's attatched to.

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GOAT flavor text

>he has 3 life
>hes killed one myr but the other two got to him
>one more is coming
the next block hes completed

Maybe, maybe one'll even give you a thighjob, but you'll have to invent something that'll tickle it's fancy enough for it to slut it up with you.

Dude, that shit sounds painful. They got that weird crumbly stone texture an' shit.

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I think the art is more of a bummer than the flavor text

I like this because it helps get across an often unnoticed part of Gideon's character.

It just pisses me off for some reason. It's just phrased so awkwardly and sounds so damn dumb.

>good mtg porn
>ever

It's one of the very few IPs with no actual good porn. It's incredibly baffling.

>mfw im getting my fap on and a normally good artist draws kemba
>it just wilts my dick
MTG porn isnt possible

I just found my new commander. Fuck ya I'd rock that.

sarkhan-volkswagen.tumblr.com/post/133321410554/l-i-s-t-e-n

Nicolas Cage is a pretty cool guy. He beats up Eldrazi and don't afraid of anything.

Fuck you.

Tenth Edition had some dope new flavor texts